Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or any of its characters

AN: Hey guys. So sorry for taking so long again. I've actually moved province so that's where my time has gone. Thanks to all of you for sticking with this story and hope you enjoy the next chapter.

…

He didn't really feel it when the bouncer threw him out on his ass, but he cursed the guy just the same.

He hadn't gone in the bar to pick a fight. It just happened that way. He wasn't even angry when he'd left the beach house. He'd been having fun, actually.

But then Tim had been on the verge of passing out, and so Nathan would have been left alone with his own thoughts.

So he'd gone to get something to eat, claiming hunger.

The truth was, as much as he claimed otherwise, he didn't want to be alone. At the bar there were always plenty of people. And he could just sit there, surrounded by all the folks without having to talk to any of them.

The problem with that was that the more he sat there, the more he drank. And the less fun he had.

The alcohol quickly flipped on him, turning his thoughts solemn—the very emotions he'd been trying to avoid in the first place.

So he drank more, trying to forget.

But he found he couldn't forget. No matter how many shots he downed, he couldn't escape his own troubled mind.

The altercation in the bar wasn't his fault, really. The guy had bumped into him, spilling his drink in the process, and no amount of apologizing was going to change that fact.

So, he'd pushed him and warned him to watch it. It wasn't his fault the guy had gotten angry and pushed back instead of heeding the given warning.

But according to the bouncer, it was his fault and he'd told Nathan he had to leave, giving him the choice to do so either voluntarily or by force.

He didn't choose the latter per say, but since he didn't go on his own, the choice was made for him.

And that's why he lay sprawled out on the ground now.

It took him a while to finally pull himself up and stand on his feet. It seemed his legs wanted to give way beneath him. Yet, somehow he managed and he started walking, or rather staggering, down the streets of Tree Hill.

He didn't know what led him to the café—maybe the fact that he really was hungry now—but he found himself there all the same.

He stood outside, watching through the big front window. She was serving a customer and smiling politely. You couldn't tell by looking at her that she was hurting inside. But he knew she was. She must be.

Because of him. No matter what everyone said to the contrary, he had raped her. Not Damien, but he himself.

He'd wanted to tell her how sorry he was for a long time now. Ever since the truth sank in, actually. It just didn't seem like enough.

But drunken Nathan didn't care, or even think about that. Drunken Nathan had something to say and so he would say it.

He pushed the door open and slipped inside.

….

Haley returned to the counter with the empty tray and glanced at the clock, sighing when she saw only five minutes had passed since the last time she had looked. Another hour before the end of her shift. Longest four hours of her life. Each hour seemed to drag on indefinitely. Probably because Lucas was working today also.

It was his first day back since his heart attack. The first day Karen allowed him to come in and work. Only light duties, but still he was there. Haley had a feeling he'd talked his mother into it just so he could be there and force Haley to be in the same room as him for longer than five minutes.

She'd been avoiding him for two weeks, and though she knew how much it hurt him, she couldn't help it. All he'd kept trying to do was convince her to talk to Nathan, not understanding that she just couldn't do it. It made her angry that he refused to see her point.

Rachel's comment to her two weeks ago had also infuriated her. Pretty much calling her self-absorbed and uncaring? Please. Who did she think she was? She didn't know Haley at all so who was she to judge her?

But Lucas knew her. He knew her better than anyone, and still he didn't understand. He didn't let up. It was so much worse coming from Lucas than Rachel.

She turned away from his penetrating stare. She had to admit she missed him, but she couldn't deal with his persistence on that particular matter. He always made her feel guilty for feeling how she felt, and she didn't want that.

Whatever Nathan's reasons for trying to take his own life were his own, and had nothing to do with her.

So she wouldn't feel guilty or be made to feel like she should. Granted, she did feel bad for the guy, but guilty? No. There was no reason to. At least, that's what she kept telling herself.

She was more than a little surprised when the object of her inner turmoil stumbled into the café, his eyes boring into hers. Her heart raced the second his glossy blue eyes locked on hers. Oh God. What did he want? To trash talk her for completely ruining his life? Probably.

She couldn't say she blamed him. She should have made sure she had her facts straight before going and accusing him of rape. No doubt he wanted to rip into her.

She knew she deserved all his animosity and rage so she took a deep breath and mentally braced herself for the dreaded confrontation that was surely about to take forth.

Lucas watched apprehensively as Nathan approached Haley, knowing her heart must be beating a mile a minute right now. He didn't know what Nathan wanted but if he felt entitled to come into the café to rag on her, then Lucas would have to set him straight. As much as he was frustrated with Haley lately, she didn't deserve Nathan's harassment.

Both Haley and Lucas were taken aback when Nathan stopped in front of Haley and told her he was sorry.

Haley stared at the dark haired Scott, unable to form any words in response.

"Ok?" Nathan went on, his tone coming out desperate. "I didn't mean to do it," his said, his voice earnest, yet slurred. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

Haley averted her gaze, unable to look at him. He was apologizing to her? It should be the other way around. She wanted to say that, but the words stuck in her throat. "It's ok," she managed to choke before attempting to sidestep past him.

He grabbed her arm, nearly losing his balance in the process. "It's not ok," he argued. "I should be in jail right now. That's where I belong for what I did to you."

"The right person is in jail," Haley said, breaking free of his grasp and walking away.

He made to follow her again, but in doing so he collided into a table where a lone customer sat. "Ope, sorry," Nathan said to the woman as he worked to get his footing again.

"Hey, Nathan," Lucas came up. "You should go. Before my mom sees you."

"Dude, relax," Nathan slurred back. "I'm just telling Haley I'm sorry…"

"And now you have so…Do you maybe need a ride home or something?"

"No. What I need is to talk to Haley. You have a problem with that?"

"Yeah, actually I do," Luke replied. As much as he felt for Nathan's predicament, it was clear what his presence was doing to Haley. "Now's not really the best time."

Nathan snorted drunkenly. "Is there a good time to say sorry I raped you?" he questioned sarcastically. "Look," he said, turning back to Haley. "I don't blame you if you want to hit me or something, so…"

"I don't want to hit you," she said softly.

"Yeah, you do," he countered. And you know what? You should hit me. I deserve it. More than that, actually, so whatever you want to do, I'm cool with it. You want to call the cops? Be my guest."

"Why would I do that?"

"Are you kidding? Why wouldn't you?" he asked, slamming into yet another table, this one full of customers.

"Hey," one of them growled loudly as his plate toppled to the floor.

While Nathan stared at the guy blankly, Haley rushed over to pick up the plate, apologizing profusely to the customers. "I'll have another plate fixed right up for you," she said.

"On the house," came Karen's loud voice as she came out from the back to see what all the commotion was about. "What's going on here?" she demanded to know.

Nathan looked directly at her and replied. "I'm in your café," he said as though he were telling her breaking news.

"I see that," Karen responded calmly.

"Where Keith told me never to come back," Nathan went on, reminding her of the day they'd come in to eat and how it had ended up with Lucas and Damien in a fist fight. Keith had subsequently kicked Nathan's entire group out with stern orders never to return. "Well, I'm back," Nathan said with a shrug. "So call the cops."

Lucas stood in front of his half brother. "Come on, Nathan. Nobody's calling the police."

"No?" Nathan scoffed as he twisted his body and, this time deliberately, turned over the table beside him. "How 'bout now?"

"Hey, come on," Lucas hollered, trying to grab Nathan's arms. "Take it easy, man."

Nathan backed away from him, his eyes hard and unreadable, and flipped over yet another table. The few remaining customers who hadn't fled the first time did so now.

"Uh oh," Nathan said with a bitter chuckle. "Might wanna call now, huh?"

Lucas attempted to stop him again but Karen feared that the physical exertion would be too much for his fragile heart. Haley feared the same. As pissed as she'd been at him for weeks, she still loved him and couldn't take it if anything happened to him.

Both girls encouraged Luke to leave Nathan be. Better the café to be turned upside down than for Luke to have another heart attack.

They needn't fear, however, for Nathan was so riled up that Lucas couldn't grab hold of him, however much he tried.

Karen considered doing just as Nathan asked—calling the police—and if he took a swing at Lucas, she just may have to do that. But as it was, he kept backing away from Luke, seemingly intent on causing property damage, but not personal injury.

Nathan warned Lucas to back off because he didn't want to hurt him again, but Lucas was stubborn, as always. He wanted to help his brother and, at the same time, stop the destruction he was currently hell bent on achieving in the cafe. "I'm not backing off," he told Nathan. "But I need you to calm down so we can talk about this, alright?"

Nathan shook his head, not interested in talking right now.

Luckily, Keith came in at that point and, before he even knew what was going on, rushed over to help Lucas with Nathan.

When Nathan saw him, he reminded him too of when he'd kicked them out and his warning to never return. He tried to persuade him as well to call the police.

Between Keith and Lucas they managed to back Nathan into a corner and pin him against the wall. The young, dark-haired Scott struggled and shouted repeatedly to get the cops down there. "They can lock me up so I can never bother any of you again," he said.

"That's not what we want," Keith said.

By now, and to everyone's surprise, there were tears falling from Nathan's eyes. "Why not?" he croaked. "You said never come back here."

"He was wrong to say that," Karen jumped in. No, she hadn't thought so at the time, and certainly the boy had treated her son horribly, but now, seeing him so lost and in so much pain, her heart went out to him.

"That's right, I was," Keith agreed, though he too knew it hadn't been wrong at the time. But he knew Karen was just trying to calm him down and so he would go along with that.

It seemed to work, for Nathan stopped his fight, allowing Keith to loosen his grip on him. As soon as he did, Nathan sank to his knees, not from lack of physical strength, but from lack of emotional strength. He wasn't strong enough to deal with what life had thrown at him this time. Peyton had always been the one to pick him up before he fell too far, but now that he didn't have her anymore, he was sinking fast. "You should just call the police," he insisted, but much quieter this time. "You shouldn't let me back in here. I beat up Lucas, I raped Haley. I'm not a good person. I scared her on purpose in the tutor center after already raping her. What does that say about me?"

"That one," Keith began, "You're a bigger victim than you know, and two, you've made some mistakes, but none that aren't redeemable."

Nathan scoffed at that. "What are you talking about? I can't be redeemed for what I did. I'm a hardened criminal. I don't deserve to have more chances. I should be locked up and throw away the key. Worse. I should be given the death penalty because I don't deserve to keep on living…"

"Ok, that's enough of that," Keith ordered gruffly. "I don't want to hear you talking like that."

"It's true," Nathan argued.

"It's not. Now, come on, let's get you home."

"No. My dad'll freak."

"You can go to our house, it's closer," Lucas offered on the spot. "Mom?" he added once he realized he'd made the offer prematurely.

Karen nodded her permission so Keith and Lucas helped Nathan to his feet.

The last thing Nathan wanted was to go to Luke's house after everything he'd done to the guy, so he began to protest. It was short-lived, however, for the alcohol was beginning to take its toll in a draining way, robbing him of energy and making him feel like he could pass out at any moment.

He was finally standing, leaning on both other Scotts, when the police showed up. They supposed one of the customers must have called them, for none of them had.

By this point Nathan was so groggy he barely noticed their presence.

The two officers were prepared to take Nathan away if that was what Karen wanted, but she assured them they had everything under control.

As Keith and Karen spoke to the police, Lucas glanced around the café, just noticing that Haley seemed to have disappeared. He went to the back and found her sitting on the floor against the wall, crying quietly.

"Hales," Lucas whispered, squatting down in front of her.

"I did this to him," she cried, her body wracking.

"No…"

"Don't tell me I didn't," she cut off sharply. "I know all the logistics, ok, but still, I did this."

"Haley…"

"Because I was too stubborn and scared to go talk to him. I thought, on some level, he must hate me. You all said he didn't, but I just figured he must."

"And now?"

"Well clearly he doesn't," she replied. "I'm sorry, Lucas. I'm sorry I've been so stubborn and selfish. You tried to tell me he was blaming himself, but…"

"Hey, shh," he said soothingly, wrapping him arms around her shoulders. "You've never been selfish a day in your life."

"Thanks," she said, needing to hear that as she continued to sob uncontrollably. And then she caught her breath and pulled back to look at Lucas. "I want to talk to him," she said firmly.

"He's nearly passed out," Luke answered. "And even if he weren't, he's too drunk to reason with," he added. "I don't know about you, but I found that out pretty quick out there."

"Yeah, obviously," she agreed. "In the morning then."

"You don't have to, Hales," Luke replied. "I'm sorry I tried to make you…"

"No, you were right. And I do have to. Not only that, I want to. I should have already and I need to make this right. Like you all said before, he needs to hear directly from me that I don't blame him for anything."

Lucas nodded his head, glad to hear she'd reconsidered. "Only if you're up to it," he said.

She nodded back. "It's something I need to do."

"I agree. I think it's a great idea."

"Oh, do you? I hadn't guessed," she returned sarcastically with a small smile.

"Ok, listen," Luke said. "We're gonna take Nathan to the house, and then I'll come right back here, ok?"

"No don't," she protested. "Be with your family."

"I don't want to leave you alone."

"I'll be fine. I want to be alone. Lucas," she stressed when he stared at her doubtfully. "I'll be fine."

"Are you sure because I…?"

"Yes, yes, I'm sure. Go."

"Alright," he agreed, seeing as how she insisted. He could tell she really needed some time to herself. "But, if you need me, call, and I'm here."

"I know. Thanks, Luke," she said and followed that with a kiss to his lips.

It was mere seconds later that Keith yelled out to him, telling him they were ready to go. "I'll see you in the morning, if not before," he said, standing to his full length.

"Yep."

"I love you, Hales."

She smiled at him. "I love you too, Lucas. Now go."

The cops were gone when he came out, and Nathan seemed more than relaxed now as he leaned heavily upon Keith.

"She ok?" Karen asked of Haley.

"She will be," Lucas replied. "She's gonna lock up."

"I could stay behind and talk to her if you'd like."

"Nah. She needs space right now, but she'll be fine. Let's just get him out of here," he said, walking over to the opposite side of Nathan that Keith stood, and letting him throw an arm around him for support.

He didn't expect Nathan to lean even heavier on him and say what he said next.

"Hey, I love you, man," Nathan told him.

"Is that right?" Lucas asked, knowing full well it was nothing but drunken gibberish that Nathan would surely regret saying in the morning, if he remembered saying it at all. Even still, it made him smile.

"Yeah," Nathan slurred in response. "You wanna know why?"

"Why?"

"Cuz you're my brother. And a good one too. Not like me."

Luke's smile widened. Nathan didn't know what he was saying right now, but Luke could pretend he did. "Well thanks," he said. "And I love you too, little brother."

…..

"Come again," Peyton deadpanned as her assigned tutor left for the evening. "Not," she mumbled before the door even closed. If this first day of tutoring was any indication, then she could already tell that it would be a colossal waste of time. She could read through the material herself faster, and learn it better too. And this would be an everyday thing? What was the point?"

She asked her father just that when he softly chided her for being rude to her tutor.

"The point," Larry answered, "is so you can do your studies at home. You had the option of going back to school, and you chose not to."

He half expected a snarky comeback, and yet he knew none was forthcoming. Ever since her confrontation with Nathan at the hospital, she'd gone back to retreating within herself, shutting everyone out and keeping the same cool exterior she'd had prior to that. Clearly Brooke was right to say that only Nathan could reach her.

Larry hated to see the return of that cold, unemotional girl. He knew it was just her way of locking up her pain, but he couldn't convince her that letting it out would be so much better in the long run. She did speak to him more than she had been, but only to answer when spoken to, and only curt answers at that. For the most part, she froze everyone out. If only she would talk to a therapist, but alas, she refused. He couldn't force her to talk so he was at a loss as he'd been for what seemed an eternity now.

"Just give it a chance, ok, honey?" he requested gently of the tutoring sessions. "You need your education. Do it for me?"

With a simple shrug, she replied, "Fine," and he realized he may have had better luck if he'd ask her to do it for Nathan. He glanced over at her, seeing she had sprawled out on the couch, pretending to go to sleep. She did that a lot lately.

She closed her eyes, hoping her dad would get the hint and leave her be. Once she fell asleep, it would be to dream of Nathan and herself in a good place, like they used to be before all this mess started. At least, that's what she'd dream about until the dreaded nightmares took over again.

She loved the first part. Looked forward to every second of those sorely missed good times with Nathan. If only the latter wouldn't follow every single time, she wouldn't fear drifting off so much.

….

"Cool door," Nathan said with an exaggerated chuckle once they'd reached Karen's house and he was escorted into Luke's room. "Bet it makes sneaking out real fucking easy, huh?"

Karen opened her mouth to rebuke him for the language, but closed it as she silently acknowledged the reprimand would be lost on him in his current condition.

He'd pretty much chatted mindlessly the whole way over, and even now as Keith and Lucas plopped him on Luke's bed, he continued. "I need one of those in my room."

It was the last thing he'd say for the rest of the night, for as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out.

"Guess I'll take the couch," Luke said.

"Think again," Keith replied. "Couch is mine tonight." Nathan was likely out for the night, but Keith wasn't positive of that, and he wasn't going to leave Karen and Lucas alone to deal with him.

"The floor then," Luke amended.

"You got it," Keith agreed with a wink. "Anyway, I should call Dan and Deb," he added, walking out of the room.

"Good idea," Karen said, knowing they must be worried sick. She knew she would be anyway.

"He'll be mighty sore in the morning," Karen commented as she looked at the raven haired Scott boy completely out of it.

"Yeah," Lucas agreed. "Listen, Mom," he went on. "Thanks for doing this. You didn't have to let him come here, especially after he just trashed the café and ran out all your customers."

Karen sighed and looked to her son now. "No thanks necessary, my boy. I've seen my share of dark days too," she said before making her way to the linen closet where the extra blankets and pillows were kept. She tossed one of each to Lucas to make his makeshift bed on the floor while she proceeded to set up the couch for Keith.

And she really hoped she didn't regret this.