They'd change location from the kitchen, to the living room, both standing face one another, still too on edge to take a seat. It was well into the am, and at times, they both had to just stare at each other, to make sure they weren't just talking to the thin air, or a ghost for AJ's matter.
"Are you safe now?" AJ asked.
She still couldn't believe that he really hadn't died. Everything was so convincing at the time. She really believed he was gone. She hadn't quite hit the stage of realisation that her boyfriend, the man she loved, the father of her babies, was actually back, and here. She was still in complete shock and utter disbelief.
"Yeah." Punk nodded, "I know this has all been hell. If I had a choice, I wouldn't have went. I guess that's why they just snatched me one night on the street." He said, "I… I got pictures of you every week, you and the twins." He explained as she looked up at him with folded arms, "I just wanted to jump into the picture, into that moment, and just be with you." He said.
"I thought you were dead, Phil." She gritted her teeth, "I was made to believe that you were attacked on the street. Do you have any idea how it felt, to be told you were dead, that my babies… my one month old babies, had lost their father, before they even got to know you." She trembled, "I thought you were gone forever..."
"Well I'm not." He assured her, "I'm back. And I know it's been hard this year but..."
"Hard?" AJ repeated, "Hard is a complete understatement. It's been unbearable!" She said loudly, "I don't think I've slept in a year. I don't work anymore. I stay in and I watch the twins grow, by myself." She said, "I haven't been so down, and upset in my entire life." She said.
"I know, and I'm sorry. But this wasn't my fault. I hated it just as much as you did… at least… at least you had the twins, and your family and friends. I was stuck in a foreign country with nothing but pictures to look at." He said, "It's not been easy for me either."
"You weren't made to believe that I was dead." She retorted, "I thought I'd lost you forever." She gasped, "I thought I would never get to see you again, or touch you again, or have a conversation with you." She shook her head. It was still unreal. For a year she had been convincing herself that he was really gone, and now… now she had to convince herself that he was really here.
"I know… it's been awful. But with my job comes risks and responsibilities. If I did stay, I would have been just as good as dead. Properly dead." He said, "I'm sorry, baby. What you had to go through, I can't even begin to imagine what it felt like, but I'm here… I'm here now and I won't leave again." He promised her.
"How do I know that? How do I know you won't get snatched on the street again and flown over to another country?" She asked, "I knew from the beginning that your job was serious, and it had a lot of risks, but never once did I think it would hurt me like this. Hurt our family." She shook her head.
Punk just nodded, looking down at the ground in shame. He did feel a little guilty for it all, but at the end of the day, it wasn't his decision. He was just as much against it as AJ was. It was all over and done with now, and he just wanted AJ to really believe he was here. There was a lot to sort out and talk about still. He was still sure she didn't actually know what was going on, but he was so willing to be patient for her. She'd been through so much.
Just as AJ was about to ask a flying question that jumped into her mind, a whining cry came from upstairs. She watched Punks head shoot up quickly.
"Are they here? Caleb and Harleen?" He asked.
"Why wouldn't they be?" AJ shook her head.
"Well Paul said that Sean had been helping you a lot with them. I didn't know if they stayed at his some nights..." He shrugged as AJ shook her head.
"No. Sean just comes round for dinner sometimes. He helps put them to bed if I'm busy." She said, "I'll be back." She said, backing away out of the living room but not taking her eyes off him until she had to. She believed that she would go upstairs, come back and down and see him disappeared. She had to be hallucinating. He was dead. She was told he died. She buried him whilst crying deeply into her mother. She'd went over it so much in her head, of how she could possibly move on without him.
She headed into the twins room, seeing it was Caleb that was letting out painful cries. Lucky for her, they hadn't yet woken Harleen, so she quickly scooped Caleb into her arms, having him perched at the side of her hip, quickly walking out of the room and shutting the door over whilst drying her sons tears.
"What is it, baby?" She asked, "Is this a dream? Baby boy, tell me if it's a dream?" She begged, looking into his glassy eyes as his cries silenced to nothing.
"Daddy's here." She told him, "I don't know how, baby. But he's here." She cupped the back of his head, bouncing him lightly from side to side as he rested his head on her shoulder.
Once seeing him shut his eyes back over, she went back into their room and placed him back in his cot. Sometimes they just woke up from bad dreams, and it normally didn't take her long to soothe either of them back to sleep.
She headed back downstairs, walking into the living room to see it completely empty, the way she thought it would be. It was all just in her mind. It had to be.
"Phil..." She whispered out quietly, truly believing she had been dreaming this entire time, looking around as he suddenly came out from the kitchen.
"Sorry… I was just getting a drink." He explained as she placed her hand on her chest. A part of her was glad he was still here. This was it… She really wasn't dreaming. He was here.
"It was just Caleb." She told him as he nodded.
"Is he ok?" Punk asked.
"Yeah. Sometimes they just wake with bad dreams." She said, "Doesn't take long for me to get them back to sleep."
"How have they been? I… I've missed them so much. I've missed so much of their lives. The most important year." He sighed to himself.
"They're great." She smiled, "Caleb has came a long way. They're both your double. Sometimes it was hard to look into their eyes. So much of them reminds me of you." She said, watching him smile with ease, "They love Sean. He's the only sort of male figure they have around here. Caleb gets so excited when he comes round." She chuckled to herself at the thought of her excited son, "They're doing great. For me being on my own this past year." She said.
"You're an amazing mother, April." He said.
"How would you know? You haven't been here?" She asked.
"From the pictures I got… but truthfully speaking, from the minute you held them both in your arms, I knew you'd be a terrific mother."
"Well you were a good father. For the month you spent with them. I guess you just haven't really been given a chance." She said, "What was it like over there?" She asked him.
She had to keep pinching herself. She was beginning to let it sink in, that this had all just been a set up, and that he was really alive and well, and it shamefully gave her butterflies. The fact she had him back here, in reaching distance. It had been all she was dreaming of since she found out he was apparently dead.
"It was awful." He admitted, "I was given a house on a main strip. The guys who were protecting me were nice. I guess I was a bit of a dick to them the majority of the time. But they understood I was just missing you and my family." He said.
"You lived alone?" She asked.
"Well yeah… did you think I went there and started another family?" He raised his eyebrows as she rolled her eyes.
"Well… I'm not sure what to think about all of this." She admitted, "If you were in danger, why did they leave me and the twins out here. We could have been in danger too." She said.
"Well that's what I said in the beginning. I wanted you with me. I knew what the Albanians were like. I knew they'd go for you and the twins to hurt me, but apparently not. Apparently they just wanted me." He shrugged, "I had to use a different name. I had to shorten my hair, change my beard. It was strict business." He told her.
"So what happens now? You just come back from the dead? What about our friends and family, Phil? They're going to think they're going insane. I know I think I am." She admitted.
"I'll just have to ease it in. I planned on easing it in with you. I was gonna get Paul to explain everything to you first, and then see you, but I couldn't wait. As soon as I got off the plane, I just had to come see you." He said, "I've missed you so much." He sighed.
"I can't explain to you, how much I've missed you." She said, "All those nights by myself. Just wishing, praying that you'd come back to me. I just kept replaying the last time I saw you in my head. How happy we both were that night." She said, "I can't believe you're really here." She said, swallowing the emotional lump in her throat, inching closer to him.
She'd let it sunk in what had happened, and she cursed everything about his job, and the risks that came with it. Because of his job and the enemies he had made, she and their children had suffered a tragic year without him, believing they wouldn't see him ever again.
"This day kept me going throughout the full year… seeing you again." He whispered, cupping her cold cheeks as she shut her eyes.
She felt his lips crash down upon hers, and she had suddenly forgot how amazing he used to make her feel, just from the slightest touch. She'd missed being kissed and held the way he would. It was unreal to feel his lips again.
Punk could have just picked her up and taken her upstairs at that very moment, but he suddenly felt her pull away, placing her hands on his chest and looking down. He could tell she didn't want to part ways from his lips, but she was, and she looked like she was battling with herself on what to say to him.
"I want you to go." She looked up at him, "I… I can't live my life like this anymore. Not knowing if I'll see you again. Our family being in danger. I thought it would be hard, but not this hard. I mean… we've been parted for a year because all of this. I was made to believe you were dead." She shook her head at the madness that had been going on, "I don't want this anymore."