Thank you kEs-2717 for the review! I'm happy you enjoyed the chapter and the bits of Malark fluff (though it was really angst-y fluff lol) :)
Thank you BobtheFrog for another review! I'm sorry this story is giving you painful feels! I'm just trying to keep things as realistic as possible, and trust me; it's also very painful to write! I can see Skip as remaining the most chipper among the friends, so I'm glad you thought so too! The angst won't last forever, I promise!
Thank you drovingallday96 for another review! I'm happy you liked Malarkey's perspective! Yes, Marie unfortunately has a very long road to recovery. I'm excited that you're excited for the updates! :)
As always, some dialogue from both the book and series. Reminder: I've got links on my profile to a playlist, artwork and other stuff that go with this story if anyone is interested. Enjoy!
The truck's engine rumbled nosily on as it dodged snow banks and bumped along the uneven path back to the Ardennes forest. Marie sat in the back seat, staring dead ahead as the driver carried on idle conversation with the runner sitting in the passenger's seat. Her mind and expression rested completely blank; her entire being hardened into a numbness that she feared had become impenetrable. Her hands gripped her knees so tightly that she knew her knuckles had become white, but she still wore the mittens so she couldn't see. Marie had left the overcoat behind, but kept the mittens and the cap, which were stuffed in her medical bag. Marie wanted nothing more than to rid herself of the reminders, but when it came to warmth she didn't want to let go.
She felt the car jerk to a stop in the middle of a clearing, forcing her body to abruptly sway back and forth. Marie was about to ask why they were stopping when she noticed the two men looking up at the sky. She followed their gazes to see P-47s flying by, dropping parachuted crates.
"A supply drop." The driver marveled.
Whooping and celebratory cheering erupted from the tree line. Marie looked toward the trees to see some Easy Company men running excitedly out into the clearing toward the dropped supplies. Suddenly the P-47s started opening fire in the field, making the happy soldiers freeze in panic. The driver and runner ducked, Marie leaned over the edge of the truck, now gripping where the car door was to get a better look. She swore she was seeing things, but it had become clear that she wasn't.
"What the hell!" The runner exclaimed, just as confused as the rest. Marie watched with dread as her men dove for cover in the trees and in nearby foxholes. Marie opened the door, hopping out so she could join her men. "Hey, where are you going?" She heard the runner demand, but she paid him no mind.
Marie sprinted forward toward the tree line, not even attempting to touch any of the crates that were sitting in the snow with parachutes draped over them. She had no idea why soldiers on their side would drop supplies for them then turn around and open fire when they went to get the supplies. It just didn't make any sense. Marie made it out of the clearing and was now standing where the tree line began. She turned and stared back out to the clearing, toward the truck that was still waiting with the engine running.
"Marie?" A familiar and confused voice called out to her. She turned to see Lipton approaching, his eyebrows raised in surprise. He took in her appearance, her hair had been braided and wrapped up by Renee, she held her helmet under her arm. Her bruise on her left eye was less swollen, but the white of her eye were still discolored from healing. The redness from the bruise stretched down to her cheek, and her top eyelid was starting to turn purple. The bruises on her neck did the same, appearing red and would soon turn puce. Her expression is what threw him off; her eyes had become void and expressionless.
"Lip." She replied casually as if she'd just seen him a minute ago.
He studied her a moment as her lifeless eyes stared right back. He took a step closer to her, checking her over like a worried father. Lipton glanced back at the open clearing, seeing the supplies were still waiting to be grabbed by the company. Some Easy Company men waited behind the trunks of trees, still shaken up from the P-47s, but they didn't take their determined eyes off of the crates.
"I didn't expect you back until after Christmas." Lip finally said.
"I only needed a days rest." Marie answered, her voice sounding almost monotone.
Lipton nodded slowly. "Okay, come on, I need to tell OP you're back." He nudged her shoulder and led her back into the forest. As they got closer, Marie could see some of the men in a huddle, flailing their arms around as they retold their encounter with the planes. Marie instantly picked out Malarkey amongst them, holding his helmet and pointing to it. Apparently a bullet had struck his helmet and sent it flying off his head. Babe, Jackson, and Luz listened to Malarkey's retelling of his encounter with the P-47s. Jackson noticed Marie coming with Lipton, and tapped Malarkey on his shoulder to get his attention. He turned, curious, when his eyes landed on Marie's figure. His face instantly lit up, seeing her alive and well. He broke from the crowd, jogging over to her. He wrapped her in a warm embrace, not able to stop himself from showing his relief. Marie felt conflicted by the hug, her arms remained dangling at her sides as Malarkey held her tightly against himself. Malarkey pulled away, now looking at her face. He noticed the same blankness that Lip did and frowned.
"Marie!" Emilia and Muck came running over to hug Marie. She didn't return their embraces either. She was far too numb to even comprehend how to feel at this point.
"What's going on here?" A sharp voice called out. Everyone turned to see Dike stepping awkwardly through the snow, a puzzled look on his face. He spotted Marie in the middle of the huddle of friends, locking his eyes on her in disbelief.
"Sergeant Docherty was released and has returned to the line of duty, sir." Lipton quickly clarified, afraid that things were about to turn ugly. He knew Malarkey, Muck, and Emilia were pissed off on how he handled Marie's missing situation; not to mention the medic didn't care much for the CO, either. Dike lifted his chin in faint superiority as his eyes searched Marie. Malarkey, Emilia and Muck stayed protectively beside her, standing firmly against Dike. The CO glanced at her shiner and to the bruises on her neck.
"Are you sure you're well enough? The last thing we need is a medic unfit to do their job." Dike clipped.
"Yes, sir, I can assure you I'm fine." Marie answered, her voice low and almost robotic.
Dike shifted his attention to Lipton. "Gather some of the men and get those supplies that were dropped." He yawned, covering his mouth. "I need to go to CP." He walked away, receiving sneers from some of the men standing around.
"Okay, Jackson, Luz, Malarkey, Muck, on me. Help me gather some more so we can bring those crates in." Lipton ordered with a heavy sigh.
Malarkey nodded, turning back to Marie. He cupped her face to get her attention. "I'll be right back, okay?" He almost whispered to her. She didn't respond she only stared blankly at him with her lifeless eyes. Malarkey didn't want to leave her, but he knew Easy Company desperately needed those supplies. Him and Muck reluctantly left Marie with Emilia, running back toward the tree line. Marie's gaze followed them as they departed until Emilia shook her out of it.
"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Emilia asked, concern clear on her face.
"Yes." Marie stated.
Emilia wasn't convinced. "What happened out there in the woods?"
Marie's eyes darted in Emilia's direction. She bit her lip, feeling chills run down her spine as her mind automatically recalled the events she tried so hard to bury. Marie didn't let her distress show on her face, she fought against any indication of what she was hiding from her friend. Marie was relieved to find out that she didn't know what Marie had done, if Emilia didn't know than there was a good chance no one else knew.
"I fell." Marie answered. It wasn't a complete lie at least.
Emilia arched an incredulous brow. "You fell?" She repeated, flatly, not fully believing her words at all.
She nodded slowly. "I tripped over a root and tumbled down a hill. I was out for a while." Marie grew wary talking about this. "Listen, I really should head back and familiarize myself with what's going on."
"Okay, you're right. I need to get back to CP, anyway." Emilia replied sadly, feeling uneasy about Marie's withdrawn attitude. Emilia departed, glancing nervously back at Marie a few times before she disappeared into the haze.
Marie spent most of Christmas Eve waiting around her foxhole. She isolated herself mostly, trying to work out how to go about acting normal in front of the rest of Easy Company. As she was waiting she heard rumbling in the distance, causing faint vibrations on the ground. Marie peeked out of her foxhole, seeing that others around her were doing the same. She noticed a figure coming out of the haze, seeing that it was Lipton making his rounds warning everyone.
"Doc, it's going to get busy, pal." She heard him say, seeing Roe stick his head out of a foxhole. Lipton raised his voice, now addressing everyone in the vicinity. "Hold your fire, boys. Don't let 'em draw you out!"
"Hold your fire!" Someone repeated at a distance.
Lipton stopped beside Marie's foxhole, his brows furrowing, already concerned when he saw her. Marie wished he wouldn't look at her like she was wounded; she just wanted to pretend that nothing had happened to her.
"Stay in your foxhole, Hun." He told her.
"Yes, sir." She replied.
Lipton stood up again. "Stay ready, boys!"
"What the hell we gonna hit those things with, Lip?" She heard someone ask, though she couldn't see them in the foxhole. She couldn't hear his reply; the bombs starting falling around them and a few bullets flew by. There were a few moments of silence until she heard a voice yelling for a medic.
Marie climbed out of her foxhole, seeing that Roe was heading in the direction of the voice with Lipton. Lip saw her following them and turned and held up his hand to stop her. Marie skidded to a halt, throwing him a questionable glance.
"You need to stay in your foxhole." He said.
"But-"
"Doc Roe is on it, here." He led her into the foxhole Roe was waiting in. Marie was about to open her mouth to retort when he held up his hand again to silence her. "You just got back, calm down."Marie frowned at him, openly showing her displeasure for being told to stay behind again. She thought this was past her, but honestly Lipton was happy to see some type of emotion on her face, even if it was irritation.
"Come on!" Roe called, trying to hustle Lip along. He climbed out of the foxhole and ran toward Roe to find who was hit.
"Machine guns, open fire!" She heard Lipton demand in the distance. Gunfire had already started up, as Marie had no other choice but to duck in her foxhole and wait for it to end. The explosions and gunfire unfazed her throughout the entire barrage, what bothered her is that she was back to being treated with kid gloves. She knew Lip just cared about her, as did most of the men of Easy Company, and after her scare they were just being cautious, but it wasn't fair. After a few minutes when the usual silence fell upon the woods, Marie climbed out of the foxhole. She followed the crowd to see if everyone was all right. Everyone gathered in the clearing where food was usually served. Everyone was standing around like nothing happened; Easy Company had grown so used to bombings and artillery fire, it was just another normal event in their lives now. They all waited patiently to hear the results of today's barrage.
Later that day the sun was starting to lower in the sky. Stew was being served and the mood was quite sullen. Smokey Gordon had been hit and was now paralyzed according to Roe's report. Some Christmas Eve this was turning out to be. Marie sat by herself on a small snow mound, stirring her stew with her spoon absentmindedly. Malarkey was served his and sat down beside her. She knew he'd been waiting to speak with her all day, but it was hard to talk when she just wasn't in the mood to explain everything. Malarkey opened his mouth to speak when the sound of a jeep pulling up made the two of them turn in the direction of the sound.
"They're sittin' down to a Christmas Eve dinner of turkey and hooch back at the division CP. Damn, if I don't like 'ol Joe's rancid ass beans better. Hello, Easy Company." Sink greeted.
"Hello, sir." Everyone replied in unison.
Sink strolled over and shook Winters' hand and mumbled something to him that was inaudible to everyone else. Sink pulled out a letter and unfolded it and cleared his throat.
"Men, and ladies, General McAuliffe wishes us all a Merry Christmas. What's Merry about this, you ask? We're fighting – it's cold. We aren't home. All true but what has the proud Eagle Division accomplished with its worthy comrades the 10th Armored Division, the 705th Tank Destroyer Battalion and all the rest? Just this: We have stopped cold everything that has been thrown at us from the North, East, South, and West. We have identifications from four German Panzer Divisions, two German Infantry Divisions and one German Parachute Division. These units, spearheading the last desperate lunge, were headed straight west for key points when the Eagle Division was hurriedly ordered to stem the advance. How effectively this was done will be written in history, not alone in our Division's glorious history but in World history. The Germans actually did surround us, their radios blaring our doom. Their Commander demanded our surrender in the following impudent arrogance:
'December 22nd 1944
To the U.S.A. Commander for the encircled town of Bastogne.
The Fortune of war is changing. This time the U.S.A. forces in the near Bastogne have been encircled by strong German armored units. More German armored units have crossed the river Ourthe near Ortheuville, have taken Marche and reached St. Hubert by passing through Homores-Sibrat-Tillet. Librament is in German hands.
There is only one possibility to save the encircled U.S.A. troops from total annihilation: that is the honorable surrender of the encircled town. In order to think it over a term of two hours will be granted beginning with the presentation of this note.
If this proposal should be rejected one German Artillery Corps and six heavy A.A. Battalions are ready to annihilate the U.S.A. troops in and near Bastogne. The order for firing will be given immediately after this two hour's term.
All the serious civilian losses caused by the Artillery fire would not correspond with the well known American humanity.
- The German Commander.'
Sink paused a moment, letting all the information from the German Commander's letter sink in. "The German Commander received the following reply: 'Nuts!'"
Everyone snickered at General McAuliffe's reply. A few hoot and hollered their approval. Marie could see that this reply was already boosting morale.
" 'Nuts', gotta love that guy, McAuliffe." Toye chuckled, whom was standing beside Malarkey.
Sink continued to speak. "We're giving our country and our loved ones at home a worthy Christmas present, at being privileged to take part in this gallant feat of arms; where we're truly making for ourselves, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you all, and God bless you."
"God bless you, sir." Everyone replied in unison again. Everyone broke off, some still laughing about "nuts".
Marie sat back down to finish eating her bean stew, taking a bite before it got any colder. Malarkey sat beside her, a big smile spreading on his face. She was happy that the mood had lifted, but she still felt something deep inside dragging her down into that strange numb sadness.
He leaned close to her. "Merry Christmas, Marie."
Marie swallowed her stew, not feeling that this was a very Merry Christmas, but things could be worse. She managed a smile, even if it wasn't a big one.
"Merry Christmas, Don."
"How 'bout we share a foxhole tonight?" He suggested, his eyes downcast on the stew before him. Marie felt her face turn red, not knowing how to answer. "Skip said he'd be in the foxhole, so I figured it would be like old times."He added.
"Okay." She answered in a distant voice.
"I wouldn't mind being in CP eating turkey. It would beat this navy-bean broth." He said, lifting his spoon and letting the broth pour back into the can.
"Are you sure it's the turkey you're interested in? I thought you'd be after the hooch." She joked.
Malarkey gave her a surprised look. "Hey, you told a joke!" He marveled. "Is my girl back?"
Marie blushed again, averting her gaze back down to the stew. "I'm working on it." She muttered. Malarkey reached out and took her hand that was resting on her knee. He gently stroked her hand with his thumb. Marie looked back at him, caught off guard.
"You can talk to me about anything, remember. When you're ready to tell me what happened, I'll be here." Malarkey told her in a serious but soft tone.
Marie's mouth moved but she was unable to form words. Tears formed in her eyes but she quickly blinked them away. She wanted to break down and tell him everything right then and there, but something blocked the words from forming in her throat. She finally managed to nod to him in response.
That night the temperature had plummeted. The coldness had hit a new level of frigid, leaving Easy Company huddled together in desperation. Marie was with Malarkey and Muck, sharing a foxhole, which was rare for them considering they were in different platoons. Emilia was holed up with trips back and forth between CP and OP since she was now the main interpreter for Easy Company, and maybe even the whole battalion. She wished Emilia was here so they could have an official reunion, and early Christmas celebration. Marie listened to the men sing Silent Night; the Christmas tune carried from foxhole to foxhole, giving everyone a sense of calm. She closed her eyes and began humming the song to herself as she cuddled up against Malarkey for warmth.
Malarkey started to rummage through his pockets. "Oh shit! I almost forgot!" He exclaimed, just remembering something. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "Lucky Strikes means fine tobacco!" He chuckled with glee, despite his constant shivering.
"Where the hell did you get those?" Muck asked in wonder.
"Merry Christmas, fellas. You gotta thank jolly 'ol Saint Luz." He addressed the others gathered around their foxhole. Muck took one cigarette gratefully while Malarkey lit the end for him. Malarkey turned to Marie, whom still had her eyes closed. "You want one?"
Marie slowly opened her eyes, but shook her head. He knew she didn't smoke, but he didn't want to exclude her.
Muck attempted with a shaky hand to hand a smoke to Penkala. "Here you go, Penk."
"I'm shaking so goddamn much, I feel like I'm dancin'!" Penkala said in frustration.
Muck put a smoke in his mouth so he wouldn't drop it with his trembling hands. "Here you go, buddy. Here you go."
Marie felt bad for not being able to pass around gifts. She didn't have anything on her other than medical supplies. She suddenly remembered the cap, giving her an idea.
"I have something for you." She said to Malarkey, pulling the cap out of her pack.
Malarkey took the cigarette out of his mouth and took the cap from her. He held the wool material in his hands for a moment. "Where'd you get this?" He finally asked.
"I found it." Marie quickly replied, hoping he wouldn't question her further.
To her relief he grinned. "Thank you."
Marie returned his smile. "You're welcome."
"Hey, who has the fire going?" Marie heard Penkala say to her far left. Curious, Malarkey and Muck turned and craned their necks over the foxhole. Marie followed their gazes and peered over her foxhole to see the faraway flicker of flames in the distance.
"Are they crazy? It's nighttime." Malarkey muttered. He was right, having a fire at night was an easy target for the enemy. Before they knew it, bombs started falling again. Malarkey shielded Marie's body, both of them now lowered to the ground. The barrage didn't last long, but it definitely killed the Christmas spirit.
"Medic!" A voice called through the darkness. The fire had gone out, so Marie couldn't see the exact position any longer.
"It's Welsh!" Muck exclaimed.
Marie was about to climb out of the foxhole when she felt herself being pulled back down. She turned to face whomever did it with defiant eyes. To her surprise it was Muck. He shook his head, signaling that she shouldn't go. Marie turned her attention back to the edge of the foxhole and was about to pull herself up when Muck yanked her down with more force this time.
"Quit it!" She snapped.
"You still need to rest!"
"I was off the line for battle fatigue for an entire day, and I wasn't even allowed to assist when I came back! I'm a medic, I need to do something!"
"You just aren't acting like yourself." Muck tried to counter, but his voice trailed off toward the end.
Marie opened her mouth to argue that she was fine when Malarkey pulled the photograph out of his pocket. He held it up to her. She squinted her eyes to focus on it in the darkness when she realized it was the photograph of the German and his pregnant wife.
Marie's face drained of color. "Where'd you get that?"
"It was in the pack you were carrying." Malarkey answered in a soft voice.
Marie felt as if she'd been punched in the gut. She clutched her stomach, feeling it churn. She forced her eyes away from the photograph, unable to look at it any longer without feeling like she was going to be sick.
"We aren't going to ask you to tell us what happened out there, but we know it was something to do with this." Malarkey explained, giving the photograph a little shake. "When you're ready you can open up. But we know that you're having a hard time recovering from whatever it was, so we just want you to take it easy for a little bit. We just care about you."
Marie heard the crunching of snow and Roe and Peacock's voices in the darkness. They'd already taken care of Welsh and were getting him ready to ship out to Bastogne. She didn't answer Malarkey, she only stood, facing away from the photograph. She felt Malarkey place his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off, taking a step away from him.
"I think I'm going to go back to my foxhole with Babe." Marie said in a low voice. Without looking at either one of them she stepped out of her foxhole.