Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or any of its characters

A/N: Hi guys. I'm sorry that it seems I dropped off the face of the earth. In a little over a year, I've moved provinces and gone back two months later because I found out my mom was terminally ill. I went back to help take care of her at home and spend as much time as I could with her. Though I had a lot of time to write when she slept, my heart wasn't into it. Watching her wither away from the strong woman she used to be was devastating. Her brain was affected too so that the last few months she was very much child-like.

We lost her on September 4th and I am still shaken by the loss, even though I know she is at peace now and no longer suffering. That does help.

She loved One Tree Hill too. We watched every episode together.

I am back in the province I moved to again and back to writing. I know she would want that.

I want to thank everyone who has stuck by this story, and I apologize for not, at least, sending an author's note to explain my absence. I hope you all understand and that you enjoy this next chapter. I had planned to get a few chapters ahead before posting but you've been waiting long enough so here it is.

…..

She couldn't believe it. Her father—her father!—had gone against her explicit wishes and let Nathan inside! And now her fiancé, or ex-fiancé, according to him only last week, stood before her, expecting her to listen to him explain his behavior as of late.

And then what? She knew the answer to that. However lame his excuses would be, by the time he finished voicing them, she'd be expected to grant him absolute forgiveness. Isn't that what he always thought would happen? What always did happen?

For that she was torn. Because even now, before he'd even said a single word by way of explanation, she wanted to jump in his arms and tell him it was okay. That crushing her heart the way he had in the hospital parking lot, let alone his absence for the last month, didn't matter as long as he was here now. She wanted to do that so badly. Her body literally trembled with the yearning to do just that.

But she couldn't do that. She had to deny herself that want, at least for now. Because she was angry.

Angry that he hasn't been here, angry at his cruel words the last they spoke, and more than anything, angry that he could just show up now, like he'd always done and think he could sweet-talk his way back in. This wasn't like every other time they'd broken up, and to think he'd treat it as the same infuriated her. "You deaf or just the biggest idiot on the planet?"

He sighed deeply. He knew she wouldn't make this easy. But he had to try. Because he needed to be with her again. Needed her forgiveness. He couldn't get through this without her. He'd tried but he was a mess. He'd made everything a million times worse for himself by trying to stay away from her.

And not only that; he'd made things worse for her too. "Definitely the biggest idiot," he replied, feeling the truth of it.

"Well, at least you admit it," she replied dully. "What do you want, Nathan?"

"I want you to hear me out," he said simply.

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms angrily over her chest, careful not to look at him because that would mean the end of her resolve. "You made yourself pretty clear last week."

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, she wasn't sure anymore, he knew how to weaken her. Several weeks apart wasn't going to change that.

He came and sat beside her on the couch, knowing full well how his close proximity affected her. She hated that he knew that. That he used her weakness against her. She turned her head the other direction.

"Will you look at me?" he all but pleaded.

"Why should I?"

"Look, I'm sorry, all right? I just…can you just look at me, please? It's kinda hard to talk to the back of your head."

He meant hard to gauge her reactions, she knew. "Well, it sucks to be you," she returned dryly. "Maybe you should have thought of that before barging in here uninvited."

"Your dad let me in," he countered.

"Well then, maybe go try talking to him because I clearly told you where you could go."

"I said I'm sorry, Peyton."

"Noted," she said dismissively. "Now get out."

"Look, I know I did a crappy thing…"

"A crappy thing?" she exclaimed, whipping her head around to look at him now, fire burning in her beautiful emerald eyes. "You deserted me for a month, making me think I did something wrong! And then, when I confronted you, you told me you never loved me! Do you really think your lame ass apologies are gonna work this time?

"It's a start, isn't it?" he tried.

"A really crappy one," she returned hotly, using his own word.

He sighed deeply, wishing this part to be over. He risked saying as much to her. "Look, can we skip over all the melodrama and just get to the making up part?"

"Did you seriously just ask me that?"

"Come on, Peyton," he answered urgently. "You know you're gonna forgive me eventually so why not spare us both the time and energy and do it now?"

…

"Arrogant, little punk," Larry whispered the same words he'd spoken so often to describe the young Scott. He and Ellie sat on the porch to allow the couple some privacy, but they didn't dare venture far. They'd grown accustomed to watching her every move, and neither of them trusted Nathan to watch her properly. He clearly had his own agenda. With the living room windows open to let in some fresh air, both parents could hear every word as clear as day. And not particularly liking what they were hearing.

"You invited him in," Ellie pointed out softly.

"How could I not?" he asked. "I mean, look at her. She's so…alive."

Ellie nodded agreeably. The boy certainly had the power to draw Peyton out of the empty shell she'd become. They had to acknowledge that he was the only one who could, just like Brooke had told them countless times. Ellie had learned that a while ago. Larry, she knew, had known it too. It just took slapping him in the face with it a few times to make him accept it. "I know," Ellie replied in quiet understanding.

"But let's get to the making up?" Larry asked, aghast, his inclination to resent the boy still strong, especially with the cocky attitude Larry was first put off with, ever present. How the hell does one get nerve to say 'quit wasting time and just forgive me now'?

Ellie shrugged, again understanding. Nathan did seem a bit-a lot-too assuming when it came to their daughter. He was much, much, too sure of himself. She hoped Peyton would set him straight, at least a little bit.

…

"Nathan told me you talked to him," Brooke said as she approached Haley at her locker. "Thank you."

Haley glanced over to the other brunette and gave her a small, thoughtful smile. "I should have done it sooner," she said bashfully. "When you asked me to. Everyone pushed me to do it, but I was stubborn and a little intimidated and…"

"Umm, yeah, Nathan does have that affect on people," Brooke cut her off to say. "But the important thing is you did it, and that's all that matters now."

Haley nodded gratefully. "I hope it helped," she replied earnestly. It had seemed so when she'd spoken to him, but she didn't know him enough to recognize whether he spoke sincerely or just agreed to what she said to shut her up.

"It definitely did the trick," Brooke remarked happily. "Whatever you said to him brought him out of his funk and he is at Peyton's house as we speak, hopefully getting her out of hers."

Haley frowned at the comment. Did the girl really just call Peyton's depression a funk? Or Nathan's, for that matter? "Funk?" she had to question.

Brooke waved her hand dismissively. "I know, I know, understatement of the year. But that's because it's easier to handle than the truth."

Once again, Haley nodded. Whatever method people chose to get by was fine by her. Clearly Brooke knew the gravity of the situation, but if downplaying it made it easier to cope, then all the power to her. Haley had a feeling Brooke was very aware, but would rather mask her true emotions so not all would see. She understood that. She was very much the same herself.

"She needs Nathan to get through this so I'm really glad you got him to come around. I figured all he needed was to hear from you."

"Sounds like you know him well," Haley remarked.

"Best friends since kindergarten," Brooke replied. "You really did a good thing," she added. "You have no idea."

"I think I do," Haley admitted. She had noticed—any idiot would—how quickly his burdens seemed to be lifted by her words. She just hadn't known if he was exactly genuine. "It helped me too," she went on honestly.

Brooke took the girl in and finally nodded in understanding, no explanation needed. Haley had clearly been dealing with her own guilt over what she'd put Nathan through, and had certainly needed to hear, straight from his mouth, that she wasn't responsible. That, in this case, she was just as innocent as he was. "So, we should hang out sometime," she said aloud. "Oh, I know!" she exclaimed as though the best idea ever had just struck her. "Once everything calms down, I'll throw a party at my house, and you, tutor girl, will be at the top of my invite list. " After all, Peyton had once enjoyed this girl's friendship before the whole Damien fiasco, so she must not be half bad. "And you too," she told Lucas, who just came upon them. "And whoever else you want to invite," she added excitedly.

"What are we talking about?" Luke wanted to know, slipping his arm over Haley's shoulder.

Haley graced him with a sweet smile before responding. "Umm, Brooke here thinks we should all party together."

Luke's brows rose and he glanced at Brooke. "You sure that's a good idea?"

"When is a party not a good idea?" she asked before catching herself. "Except Mouth's party," she drawled. "Sorry."

"Exactly, Mouth's party," Luke said. "I mean, that's how this whole mess got started in the first place."

Brooke scoffed at the comment, fully disagreeing with Lucas' comment. "Nope. No, if you recall from the boiler room, from the horse's assy mouth itself, this whole mess started way before Mouth's party. You heard Damien in there; he's had it out for Nathan ever since he showed him up on the court his freshman year," Brooke pointed out. "The party's just when you two got dragged into it."

"True enough," Luke conceded.

"True completely," Brooke argued lightly. "And if I'm right," she went on, "Mouth's gotta feel like a total ass for how his party went down. I mean, seriously, the poor guy just wanted to bring everybody together and it full on backfires. I say we throw another bash in his honor, and screw Damien."

"Screw Damien," Lucas repeated firmly. "What do you think, Hales?"

"I don't know," Haley replied fretfully. "I feel horrible for Mouth, but…"

"Oh, come on, tutor girl, it'll be fun," Brooke urged. "Lord knows we could all use some of that. And it's not like psycho Damien can ruin it this time since he's safely tucked away behind bars."

"To stay, I hope," Luke commented dryly.

"With all of us as witnesses in the boiler room, he doesn't stand a chance," Brooke said dismissively. "And besides that, Nathan's dad…err…I guess your dad…umm" she trailed off suddenly feeling unusually tongue-tied.

"What about him?" Luke asked, defusing the awkwardness.

Grateful for that, Brooke continued. "He pulled some strings and found out a bunch of other girls have come forward against Damien."

"Brooke, how's that pulling strings?" Haley wanted to know. "It's all over the news."

Brooke shrugged. "Hmm. Well, shows how much I pay attention to our news," she replied. "But you can be sure Dan Scott knew ahead of the media, and the point is Damien's not getting out anytime soon. He can rot his sorry ass in prison for the rest of his miserable existence."

"Amen to that," Haley agreed. "But still, a party? I don't know…"

"Think about it," Brooke ordered. "And get back to me whenever. Fair?"

"Fair," Haley conceded.

"Yay," Brooke chirped, clapping her hands together, really wanting this to happen. Everyone needed a little time to escape their thoughts and memories, and just to have a bit of fun. "I know you're gonna say yes," she added confidently. "Anyway off to Peyton's."

"We were gonna head over there too," Lucas told her. "You want a ride?"

"I have my car," she replied. "And besides, should you really be driving? I mean, with the whole heart attack thing?"

Lucas had to laugh. "The doctor said it was fine."

"Oh ok," Brooke accepted easily. "Well then, I'll see you there," she added before sauntering off.

"Party with Brooke Davis," Haley said with a chuckle once the other girl was out of earshot. "Yeah, that should be interesting."

"Probably wouldn't be boring."

"You're probably right about that," she agreed. "You ready to go?"

"Whenever you are," he replied, taking her hand in his when she gestured she was all set, and leading her down the corridor. "Seems so pointless though when she doesn't even talk," he remarked aloud. "I've been there twice and both times I wasn't sure whether she wanted me there or if she wished I'd take a hike. Pretty sure it was the latter."

"I know what you mean," Haley said. "In the hospital, when everything had just happened, she was talking to me, and not just me, to everyone, and then, out of nowhere, she completely shuts downs. It doesn't make sense to me."

"It wasn't out of nowhere, Hales," he corrected softly. "It's when she realized Nathan wasn't coming around."

"Yeah, I guess so," she answered reflectively, once again wishing she'd spoken to Nathan sooner. So much pain could have been spared had she just listened to everyone. But there was nothing she could do about it now. She couldn't change it, but just be glad she had eventually talked to him. "Well, he's there now so…"

"He is?"

"Yep. Brooke just told me."

"So, you got through to him."

"Yeah, apparently."

"Oh Hales, that's fantastic!" he exclaimed.

"It really is," she agreed with a smile.

"How good do you feel?"

"Pretty fricking good," she replied. "Like it's the first thing I've done right in a while," she admitted.

"Besides making me your boyfriend, that is," Luke joked.

"Boyfriend?" she questioned playfully. "What makes you think you hold that title?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe all the hand holding and making out we've been doing?" he teased back.

"Ok, you got me there," Haley said with a giggle. "Took you long enough."

"Yes, he did," he acknowledged. "But I'm glad we got there anyway."

"Me too," she said before he bent to give her a light peck on the lips.

"And just think," he continued to jest. "Now I won't have to pretend to be your boyfriend since it's real now."

"Yes, finally," she said with exaggeration. "Real," she then mused, a smile on her face. "I like the sound of that. I love you Lucas Eugene Scott."

"Right back at ya, Haley Bob James," he replied, making her giggle.

…

To Larry and Ellie's relief, Peyton didn't let the cocky comment slide. They were glad to see that it was probably the worst thing he could have said right now. Her jaw dropped as she stood to her feet, supporting her weight on her crutches. "I cannot believe you just said that," she shrieked. Seriously? You're gonna forgive me anyway so why waste time? Ugh, the nerve of him.

"Peyt…"

"This isn't one of our regular, petty arguments, Nathan," she hissed.

"I know that."

"Good, then you also know that a half-ass apology isn't going to cut it this time."

"So you said," he returned a little snidely. "Look, Peyton, I really am sorry, ok?" he continued, softening his tone when she frowned at him. "I don't want us to be apart. I miss you."

She sent him an ominous glare and turned her face away.

"And I know you miss me too," he went on. "Come on, Peyton, don't be like this," he added when she still didn't respond. "I love you."

"Oh now you love me?" she screamed, whirling on him. "Cause last week you said you never did!"

"I didn't mean that."

"Really? So, were you lying then, or are you lying now?"

"You know the answer to that," he said with a deep sigh.

"No," she rebuffed. "See, I thought I did, but turns out I thought a lot of things that were apparently wrong so I really don't know anything anymore."

He sighed again. "Look, I screwed up. I know that. But Peyton, you know me. You knew last week I didn't mean what I was saying, and you know it now. I've just been so messed up lately…"

"Yeah? Join the club," she returned hotly. "God, Nathan, I was raped!" she shouted. Oh shit, she hadn't meant to let that slip.

The two parents outside exchanged worried glances. So she did remember the rape. Damn.

"I know that," Nathan replied sullenly.

Peyton arched a surprised brow at him. "You know?" she gasped with disbelief.

He nodded, explaining how Dan had gotten hold of the report.

"Of course he did," Peyton deadpanned. "No keeping secrets in Tree Hill, is there?" She would rather everyone didn't know about it, and for those who did know, to think she didn't remember. Wishful thinking, she thought dully.

"Nope," Nathan responded to her comment. He should know. His own dirty laundry plus a few more embellishments had been aired for all of Tree Hill.

The knowledge that Nathan knew about the rape made her feel even worse and she turned on him in rising anger and hurt. "So, all this time you knew and you still bailed on me?" she cried out furiously.

"Peyton…"

"You knew I'd just been through the most horrible experience a woman can go through, and that's when you decided we should break up?" she continued, tears falling down her cheeks in streams. "Why? Were you that upset that you weren't the only guy I've been with anymore? Did that make me dirty?"

"What? No!"

She certainly felt that way. "You say no but before it happened, you couldn't marry me fast enough, but afterward you avoided me like the freaking plague!"

"Because…" He shook his head in an attempt to get his muddled thoughts together. "Look, no one even knew if you remembered," he said. "Brooke said you told her you weren't raped so I thought maybe the drugs made you black out, like with Haley."

"And how does whether or not I remember make any difference, Nathan? You still knew, and you still blew me off!"

"I know, Peyton," he said. "I'm sorry," he repeated desperately. "I need you to forgive me," he added, his voice cracking with urgency. "Can you please just forgive me?"

"I called you so many times," she continued, ignoring his plea of redemption. She was too furious to be affected by his show of emotion. "I thought all you needed was a little time to come to grips with everything that went down, and then you'd come back to me, but what you were really doing was kicking me to the curb."

"Peyt…"

"And you couldn't even do it in a typical bad way, like an email or a text, no; you had to take it a notch sleazier and just not say anything at all, leaving me to keep guessing what I did wrong!"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Peyton."

"Well, thanks for that now!" she exclaimed snarkily. "If I hadn't confronted you at the hospital, I'd still be wondering what's going on, wouldn't I? Because you never would have had the balls to tell me you wanted to end things!"

"I never wanted to end things," he argued. "It just felt like the right thing to do," he said weakly.

"The right thing for who?" she scoffed.

"You," he answered.

"Right. How is being left in the dark and not knowing what you're feeling or thinking better for me?"

Another deep sigh and he began his explanation. "Not telling you was, like you said last week, me being a coward. I thought you'd be better off without me, but I couldn't bring myself to call you and tell you that because I knew as soon as I heard your voice or saw you, I wouldn't be able to go through with it."

"Huh, judging by your reaction to me last week, I wouldn't have guessed it was so difficult," she said sarcastically. He'd been so adamant and in such a hurry to get away from her.

"It was," he contradicted. "Look, I know I should have said something sooner and I'm…"

"Sorry, uh huh," she finished. "It's fine," she returned dully. "You said it all last week. Better late than never, right?"

He didn't know how to answer that. Clearly it wasn't fine, but he couldn't really excuse his behavior.

She didn't give him a chance to come up with a reply. "You can go now."

"Peyton…"

"No, Nathan. I'm just giving you what you wanted. What you asked for."

"Can you just hear me out?" he nearly begged. "I was wrong, ok? This is not what I want."

Normally her heart would have melted at the torment in his tone, but she felt completely devastated by his revelation that he'd known of the rape, and she didn't know what to do with that. She was too angry to think clearly. "What you want is ever-changing," she said snidely. "Just go away, Nathan. Go enjoy your freedom."

"I can't."

"Well, then go sulk or drink yourself senseless, I really don't care. Just do it somewhere else."

"Fine, you want me to leave?" he asked irritably.

"That's what I said," she answered as though he'd just asked the dumbest question possible.

He stared at her a long while, not believing she'd be pushing him away right now. She knew how he'd been hurting himself. Knew he'd been admitted to hospital for it. Normally she worried about him and he expected she'd want to keep him close. That was one reason he'd been staying away, because he knew instead of concentrating on her own recovery, she'd be fretting about his. Or so he thought. It seemed now that she wasn't worried about him at all.

He felt himself become unreasonably angry because of it. She'd forgiven his cheating, lying, and countless other mistakes throughout their relationship. She'd once told him she'd forgive him anything. But she wouldn't forgive him trying to do the right thing. She wouldn't even try.

He'd known she'd be angry and that another chance would take convincing, but still, he'd expected it to happen. And he'd expected it to happen today. The fact it wasn't going as he planned made his temper instantly rise. He walked out of the house with a slam of the door.

…

Peyton jumped at the sound and made her way to the window. As she watched him head down the pathway to his car, her heart suddenly constricted.

What was she doing letting him walk away? After all this time of longing for him, he'd finally come to her. And she kicks him out?

She didn't want him to leave, despite the fact she'd said she did. She wanted him by her side for all eternity. She should go after him and tell him so.

But her feet remained firmly planted, her own rage engulfing her. She didn't want to lose him, but she was so damn mad at him.

Didn't she have the right to both? To have Nathan, yet also be angry with him? Did he really have to slam that door as though she'd just committed a horrible crime by refusing him? Should she grant him immediate forgiveness simply because he asked for it? Just because he'd sounded so desperate for it?

Her thumb came up to her mouth to chew on its already chewed-up nail. What if he went and did something stupid? What if her rejection was so upsetting that he tried to kill himself again? What was she thinking pushing him away now, so soon after his last attempt? What kind of selfish person did that to the boy she loved?

He got in his car and she watched him hit the steering wheel several times. As angry as she was, and as much as she felt the right to be, she couldn't let him drive away. Who knew what dark thoughts were going on in his mind, and if she let him go now, she may never see him again.

She couldn't live without him. She had to go to him now.

However, just as she moved to do so, she stopped short as she caught sight of him getting out of his car and making his way back up to the house. Her heart raced painfully once more as she braced herself for another confrontation.

But there wasn't one coming, for he didn't go any further than the deck.

…

"Gave up easily enough," Larry muttered quietly after Nathan had all but stomped past them without a word.

"Yeah," Ellie couldn't help agreeing. "I wonder how she's taking it."

"Not good, I'd expect," Larry stated knowingly. "We'd best get inside." No doubt, Peyton needed checking on, even more so now.

"Wait," Ellie said, putting a halting hand on his arm. To his questioning look, she gestured forward, to show him Nathan coming back up the walk.

The young man stopped in front of them and stuck his hands in his pockets to keep them steady. "Okay if I come back tomorrow?" he asked Larry.

A strange expression crossed over the older man's face before a smile spread across it. The boy wasn't giving up as he'd presumed, but rather, was letting the waters calm, for both Peyton and…himself. Clearly the young pair possessed equal volatile tempers. Larry wasn't sure why he'd never noticed this before. Nathan, it seemed, wanted to give their hot-headed selves time to cool off before trying to talk to her again.

Larry could most certainly understand that. And respect it. He nodded his head. "That's probably a good idea," he told the kid in front of him. Very sensible move, indeed, before they both said things they would regret. Not a characteristic he'd usually associate with Nathan Scott. Perhaps there really was, as Peyton had suggested countless times, more to learn about this kid his daughter was madly in love with.

….

Brooke was just pulling up as he headed back to his car. She had Chase and Rachel with her, and Lucas and Haley followed right behind.

Quicker than he'd have thought possible, Brooke was out of her car and in front of him. "Hey, are you leaving?" she asked, flabbergasted.

"Good eye," Nathan returned caustically. When Brooke just stared at him blankly, he sighed and gave her a real answer. "Yeah, I'm leaving. I can't talk to her right now."

"If it's because she's freezing you out," Brooke began, "I told you she's been like that with all of us for..."

"She's not freezing me out," he cut off. "She told me to leave."

"So, she's talking? See, I told you you would make the difference," Brooke chirped happily.

Nathan frowned at the comment. "Right, she's more like yelling," he grumped. "She won't let me explain anything."

"Ok," Rachel said, the others having caught up to Brooke now. "Let's not make this about you, as per usual," she snapped tartly, to which Nathan rolled his eyes.

It's not that he wanted to make it about him. He just couldn't help it. He'd had everything planned. He was going to have Peyton back today, and he hated that it wasn't happening. And he also hated how Rachel always pointed out his selfish side as though everyone didn't have one. Okay, maybe he was more self-centered than most, but didn't everyone think about themselves sometimes? At least to some degree? "I'm coming back tomorrow," he said defensively.

"Tomorrow," Rachel balked. "Yeah, that's great, Nate. She needs you now, but what the hell, let's wait a little longer. You've already stayed away over a month. What's one more day?"

'Exactly. What's one more day?' he couldn't help thinking. "Her dad thinks it's a good idea," he was quick to say aloud. Hell, if her dad agreed with him on anything, he was jumping on it.

"Her dad hates you and wants you out of her life," Rachel pointed out.

"Ok, can you two not do this right now?" Brooke more ordered than questioned. These two's personalities always clashed and she was sick of hearing it. And, certainly, the last thing Peyton needed right now was her good friend and her boyfriend at each others' throats. "Nate, what I think Rach is trying to say is…" she began but stopped abruptly when Nathan grunted in annoyance. "I'm not taking her side," she said knowingly.

"No?" he asked gruffly. He still wasn't thrilled with her for telling his parents about the noose in his closet when he'd begged her not to, but he'd gotten past that. It made him angry though when she questioned his every move. Just because she and Rachel had known Peyton longer, that didn't mean they knew her better. Not better than he did.

"No," Brooke answered firmly. "I'm just trying to look out for Peyton. You know that."

"You're saying I'm not?" he challenged.

"Not after disappearing for a month and then splitting the second things get hard again," Brooke returned hotly.

"Did I mention she told me to leave?" he asked dryly.

"You did," Brooke acknowledged. "But you know damn well she doesn't actually want you to leave. She's just pissed."

Nathan nodded in agreement. That was true. But she was getting him pissed too, and then what? A big blowout, that's what. He knew that from plenty of experience.

"And since when do you listen to that?" Brooke went on.

Nathan's brows rose as he stared at his friend. "Since always," he reminded her. Every time he and Peyton got into a screaming match, if she told him to go, he went. Okay, maybe she had to scream it three or four times first, but still, he did it. "You think yelling at each other's gonna get us anywhere?" he asked her.

"Then don't yell at her," Brooke said.

"She's yelling, Brooke. What am I supposed to do? I was just about to tell her that she should have stayed away from Damien like I told her to and then she wouldn't have gotten ra…"

"Oh my God," Haley spoke for the first time. "You blame her?" Having been a victim herself, she couldn't imagine being blamed for her own rape.

"No," Nathan said firmly. "But I say stupid stuff when I'm pissed. Well, anytime really, but mostly when I'm pissed. Things I don't mean. These two know that," he added, indicating Brooke and Rachel. "That's why I can't stay right now," he added.

"Fine, Nate," Brooke said with a tired sigh. "Go. It's what you're gonna do anyway."

"Brooke…"

"What, Nathan?"

"Don't you get it?" Fuck, didn't anyone understand?

"Yeah, I get it," she said, much to Nathan's relief. "But I also get that Peyton needs to get better, and she does that with you. Do you get how serious this is?"

"Of course I do."

"You can't if you think postponing another day is no big deal. She could swallow another bottle of pills by then."

A puzzled expression crossed his handsome features. Another bottle of pills? "What are you talking about?" he asked sternly. "Peyton would never…"

"Yeah, just like I thought you would never," the brunette returned sourly. "But I was wrong, Nate, and so are you, cause Peyton tried to kill herself the very same day you did. How's that for irony?"

He didn't bother repeating that he hadn't attempted suicide. Who was he kidding anyway? He had considered it, had taken steps toward making it happen. He was just lucky he'd realized he wanted to live before taking the drastic measure of hanging himself. And that he'd been found before he bled to death when he'd taken the cutting route. Sure, he hadn't intended dying with that one, but it had almost happened just the same.

He stared at Brooke, blue eyes questioning her statement. Had Peyton really tried to take her own life? She wouldn't. Would she? No. It had to be a mistake. She was much stronger than that. He shook his head in denial. "It's not true," he said shakily. "Peyton wouldn't do that to me."

"You were gone, Nathan," Brooke reminded him. "And it wasn't you she did it to."

Unconsciously Nathan glanced around at the faces around him, noting that Lucas and Haley looked as shocked as he did. Rachel and Chase, not so much. His heart rammed painfully in his chest. Shouldn't someone have told him about this? If Brooke was right, then things were way more serious than he'd thought.

And if she was right, she was wrong about one thing. It was to him she did it to.

He made his way past the group that surrounded him and raced back in the house. He had to know.

…

Larry and Ellie hadn't expected to find Peyton smiling when they went in the house, but she was.

"Hi, sweet-heart," Larry said cautiously, his eyes wondering. "What's going on? You feeling better?"

Peyton's smile grew wider, knowing her parents were confused about her sudden change in demeanor. She shrugged her shoulders. Finally, she nodded. "Yeah," she said. "And I really miss everyone," she added before being engulfed in a bone-crushing hug by her father.

Ellie soon joined them and tears of joy fell all around. Peyton didn't reveal the real reason she was smiling again. Oh, they could guess the better part of it, she was sure.

Nathan had come. Finally.

But even better than that, and what she didn't say, was what she'd heard him ask her dad at the porch. Could he come back tomorrow? That simple question said a lot to Peyton. Firstly, it meant she needn't worry about him. He wasn't going off to try to hurt himself because he had to be back tomorrow.

Secondly, he wanted to come back, knowing full well how mad she was. That meant she could have both—Nathan and her anger toward him.

She wasn't losing him. By returning the next day, he was, without even realizing it, acknowledging his wrong and telling her that her wrath was justified and it wouldn't cost her him. At this point, she really couldn't ask for more.

She was taken aback when, suddenly, Nathan stormed back in the house, his eyes pleading as they honed in on hers. "Is it true?" he questioned harshly. "You swallowed a bunch of pills, like my mom?"

She quickly disentangled herself from Larry and Ellie. "Oh God," she whispered, more to herself than anyone else. Furthest thing on her mind at that time had been his mother's identical attempt. Clearly not the case for him.

"Say it's not true," he demanded, his voice thick with emotion. "That it's just some stupid rumor," he continued. "Come on, Peyton," he urged desperately. "Tell me it's a lie."

Her head spinning, she opened her mouth, but no words came out.

That told Nathan all he needed to know. His eyes darkened more than Peyton had ever seen as he glared at her in bewilderment. He shook his head, trying to process this new information before his gaze fell back on her and his brows creased with something akin to disgust. He pointed a disdainful finger at her. "I will never forgive you for this," he said harshly, his tone hard and merciless, though a single tear dropped down his cheek.

He wiped it away furiously before turning on his heels and storming out as he'd come in, consumed by blinding and uncompromising agony.