A/N: As always, gigantic thanks to the readers and buckets of thank yous to the reviewers! I'm glad you've found my story and I sincerely hope you enjoy it at least partly as much as I do telling the tale. This story and it's characters have been in my head and heart for years, and I'm so excited to finally share it. Again, thanks so much for reading.
Rochelle
Chapter Eighteen
Finding Trust Amidst the Darkness
"Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends."
- Eminem
"Quit blaming yourself. Our hands were tied, we had no choice. If we want to free the wookies, first we need their support. The fastest way to do that is with his father, Freyyr," Traviata said, using her light saber to clear brush blocking their path.
"His sorry excuse for a brother has all the control until we find Freyyr. If we'd forcibly taken Zalbaar we'd have started a civil war and solved nothing. Zalbaar is fine; they're just holding him for the moment. You made the only logical decision," Traviata continued.
"We'll locate Freyyr and the star map and then we'll leave," Traviata persisted, going through the opening she'd created.
"We've been down here three days, that's three days too many. So far we've found nothing but jungle and gigantic deadly things that want to eat us. The longer we're here, the more likely it is that Malak will discover us, especially after encountering the dark Jedi. We're pushing our luck," Carth responded, following behind Traviata. He stopped checking a map on the datapad. "This way, we haven't explored this area yet," Carth directed with his hand, stowing his datapad.
"Zalbaar said Freyyr went into exile down here, we have to be down here anyway to find the star map. Bastilla is in a deep meditation back on the ship; her complete focus is to be aware of Malak's approach. We will have at least some warning, hopefully," she trailed off. They weren't really sure if she'd be able to tell or not; it was the best that they could come up with. The dark side was good at hiding in the shadows.
"Personally, I'm pretty sure she won't be able to tell if he's near, at least until it's too late to do anything about it," Carth said.
"Careful," he warned, his arm coming up to stop Traviata, her eyes on him as they walked. He raised his pistol to shoot a large kinrath spider approaching the pair. The spiders in the Shadowlands were at least twice as big as they were and lethal.
"Thanks," she paused before continuing. "We split up into two teams today, we'll cover twice the territory," Traviata offered, her gaze now on the spider.
"Great, it'll only take 8 months instead of 16 months to map this hell hole," Carth said darkly, using his sleeve to wipe the perspiration from his brow. You would sweat just standing still, you didn't have to do anything. The hot tropical climate was impeding their progress and was seriously annoying the Captain.
"Carth, what's really wrong?" Traviata asked, her gaze back on him. She took a sip from the water bladder strapped to her back, drawing heavily on the long tube.
"I don't like flying blind like this," Carth started.
"Well Sonny, sometimes you just have to go with your gut. Your eyes can lie, but your gut is usually right. Hard thing to fool the gut," a voice said from behind the pair.
Carth spun around, both his blasters leveled at an old gray haired man dressed in tattered Jedi attire.
"Your gut tell you I'm a threat, Sonny?" he asked, his wrinkled face scowling at the Commander.
"No. Let's just say I prefer not to take chances," Carth responded.
"I'm old, not blind and deaf. I've been watching and listening for days. You take plenty of chances, Sonny," the man said chuckling. "What you mean is that you don't like taking chances with the people and things you love. That's why you don't like being down here to begin with, with her," he said gesturing to Traviata. "And you feel that your time to be here safely has run out. You want her out of here and off this planet in the worst way, and it's eating you up that you can't make that happen and save the Republic you so dearly love."
Carth looked at the man incredulously; he was absolutely correct.
"Close your mouth, Sonny. You don't want something down here to fly in it, trust me on that at least," the gray hair man suggested.
"Carth Onasi, Republic Fleet," he said, holstering his blasters, offering his hand. "This is Traviata Kerkes, with the Republic Fleet also."
The man had a coughing fit that doubled him over for a moment, causing him to fish out a flask from which he took a couple of swigs before being able to speak.
"Sorry, sucks blasters to get old, Sonny," he waved off Carth's attempt to speak. "I know your name is Carth, but I like Sonny better and that's what I'm going to call you. I'm old damn it, I can call you what I want," he said.
"Your name is?" Traviata smiled at the man. She liked him instantly.
"Jolee, Jolee Bindo," he replied, his gaze narrowing as he searched her face.
"Nice to meet you Jolee," Carth answered, looking from Traviata to the man, wondering how long it had been since he'd seen a woman. A really long time judging by the way he was staring at Traviata.
"What?" Traviata asked, noting his keen observation of her.
"Nothing, you just remind me of someone. Nomi Sunrider," Jolee explained.
"Ahh, the Jedi Master. Thank you, I take that as a supreme compliment. I enjoyed my studies of her, though they were brief. You also have trained with Jedi," Traviata said, noting the light saber hanging from his belt.
"Yes, I don't want to talk about that though. I am wondering, why are you here to begin with?" Jolee asked.
"We're looking for a wookie named Freyyr. Have you seen him?" Carth asked, not wanting to give away too much about their mission.
"Freyyr, yes. What do you want with Freyyr?" Jolee asked.
"We need him to help free his son Zaalbar and hopefully put an end to the enslavement of his people," Traviata put in.
Jolee's gray eyebrows arched at that. "I've been here for twenty years and haven't found a way to do it. How do you propose to make that happen?"
"Freyyr needs to reclaim his throne, unite the wookie clans and revolt. Removing everyone from the planet who isn't a native, allowing no others to land on their planet but their own kind. At least for a very long time, until they can regain their strength," Traviata explained.
"Your plan calls for very little death and destruction," Jolee replied. "It also requires the wookies to take responsibility for gaining their freedom, restoring their considerable pride and fierce warrior spirit."
"There is nothing to be gained by killing the Czerka people. They only need be forced to leave and never allowed to return," Traviata responded.
"The forest and the wookies might not agree with you, but interesting that you chose a plan which requires so little violence and devastation," Jolee commented.
"Well it's our plan, not just mine," Traviata supplied.
"We're kinda in a rush. Do you know where Freyyr is?" Carth cut in.
"Yeah, I can take you to him, Sonny. First though, you two can come with me to my home. You both look like you could stand a good meal and some rest," Jolee said already moving away from them.
"Well?" Traviata asked with a questioning look to Carth.
"I think he's been down here way too long. A hermit I'd say," he said scratching his jaw. "But we don't really have a choice and it is at least a lead. What's the worst that could happen? On second thought, don't answer that. Let's go," Carth said following the path of the old man.
"I really like him," Traviata responded with a smile.
"Of course you do. Just like you- you just met him like ten minutes ago," Carth shot back, his gaze and tone confused.
Traviata shrugged, ignoring his comment. "I trust him too, there's a gray aura about him. Different from the Jedi I've met, not a dark Jedi either. He's something unique, I find that intriguing," she went on.
"Ahh, I see why you like him so much now," Carth said, understanding lighting up his voice. "All that and he has gray hair too. Jolee the gray. Do I need to be jealous?"
"Look who's a comedian today. Piece of advice, don't give up your day job, Commander," Traviata replied walking beside Carth.
"You give your trust so easily," Carth said his face tightening. "Listen, don't say anything about the star map, not yet anyway. I want to wait, I-" Carth said.
"Don't trust him, I know, I know," Traviata quipped, tucking her arm through his. "What does your gut tell you Commander?"
"Great, I've got the two of you ganging up on me now. You're having way too much fun with this," Carth quipped.
Traviata gave him a look that let him know he wasn't off the hook; she was waiting for the answer to her question. "Your gut Commander?"
Carth thought about it for a minute, his gut said he was a bit eccentric but not harmful, probably trustworthy. "My gut says to wait and see. Trust should be earned. Got it?" he asked, cutting her a sideways glance.
"Got it," Traviata replied. "How in the hell did I ever get you to trust me?"
"Easy, you earned it. That has been a slow, painful process. I shouldn't have to remind you of that," Carth responded.
Traviata grimaced, "Forget I asked."
"Besides, you're good lookin'," Carth said with a wink, ducking as he entered the small doorway into Jolee's mud hut.
The interior of the home was cozy, the aroma of cooking meat hung heavy in the air. Jolee was busy at his stove preparing a meal.
"Hand me those plates from on the cabinet," Jolee ordered.
Traviata grabbed the dishes handing them to him. "This is very nice of you, but not necessary."
"I say it is," Jolee sent back gruffly, handing her two steaming plates of food.
"Go on, sit down and dig in, you get to be my age you don't stand on pretense," Jolee said, taking his own plate over to a low chair in a corner.
Carth and Traviata settled onto an intricately carved couch piled deep with cushions. It was extremely comfortable and felt wonderful after the days of traversing the jungles of Kashyyyk. The food was delicious as well, creating a relaxing sleepy atmosphere.
Carth ate sparsely, sitting on the edge of the cushion. The attempt to lull them into lowering their guard was not lost on the career military man.
"Thanks for the meal, Jolee. Can you take us, or just show us on my map where Freyyr is?" Carth asked, extending his datapad.
Jolee put his empty plate onto the center table and poured the three a glass of water from a wooden pitcher.
"It's going to be dark soon, only thing you'll find out there now are pointy teeth attached to immense bodies. I'll take you to Freyyr first thing in the morning; you wouldn't find him now anyway. No one goes out in the lower levels at night. You've discovered that for yourself I'm sure," Jolee explained. "You two can bunk there on the couch for the night," he added.
Carth let go an exasperated breath, he knew the man was right, but he was frustrated.
"Just a bit longer, Sonny. You should be free of Kashyyyk soon, if I'm seeing clearly," Jolee commented.
"I think you see pretty well, at least you did with me, so I'm going to hold you to that," Carth replied, relaxing a bit, but still sitting on the edge of the couch, he sat down his datapad.
"Well, I didn't see your little group coming," Jolee said putting his feet up onto the table, leaning back into his chair. "But once you came down to the lower levels, I was able to read you well enough I think."
"Yes, but what about Traviata? I mean you seemed to know plenty about my feelings. What can you sense from her? " Carth asked, a mischievous look in his eye. "Ouch," he said as she hit him in the arm.
"Hey, fair is fair. It's your turn," Carth replied, looking to Jolee.
"That one has a mass of swirling Force around her, difficult to tell. The two of you are in love, but no one needs the Force to pick up on that. Damn trees got embarrassed the way you two would kiss sometimes," Jolee paused, closing his eyes. "That one is a bit like a tornado with all her power, but often tossed about, being driven by forces she doesn't understand. Sometimes running into places she should be running away from."
Carth cradled his jaw in his hand, covering his mouth, blocking a smile. The man had some skills, he'd read both of them well.
"Now I need my sleep, I'm old damn it," he continued, his eyes darting uneasily around the room and getting up from the chair.
The pair watched the man make his retreat to a back room.
Carth leaned back into the couch, his eyes now on Traviata.
"You don't have to look so pleased," Traviata said, crossing her arms across her chest.
"Hey, don't be mad. It's nothing we both didn't know already," Carth said.
"I'm not mad, it's just troubling," Traviata replied.
Carth wrapped an arm around Traviata, "We'll get through it together, hey you haven't demolished any furniture lately."
"Look who's got jokes today," Traviata replied with a small smile, leaning her head into his shoulder, watching the crackling fire in the cook stove.
"Hey, this is nice," Traviata said, craning her neck to see into his eyes.
"I could get used to it," he said, kissing the top of her head. "In fact-" he said getting up pulling Traviata to her feet, keeping both her hands in his. He'd been thinking about their discussion when they were on the Hawk. They were soldiers on a very dangerous mission, who knew how long they had?
"Viata, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. However long that is. I would like to do this differently, but like we discussed, we don't know if we have a tomorrow," he paused. "Will you marry me? Will you be my wife?"
Traviata was surprised, unable to find her voice for a moment. It seemed fast, but she knew that she loved him completely and that would never change. She also wanted him in her life everyday, in all ways for the rest of her 'd known each other for months now, been through all types of hell together, and still managed to fall in love.
"I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, too. But you don't have to marry me Carth-"
"Yes I do. I want to do this right. I can't picture a day without you in it. I need you, Viata. I want you to be mine alone forever," Carth cut in, his eyes watching her closely.
"Carth, I am yours alone forever, there isn't anything that could change that now," she paused realizing the importance of this symbolic gesture to him. "Nothing could make me happier. I would be proud and honored to be your wife. Yes," she replied.
He caught her up into his arms so tightly it took her breath away, his kiss more intense than their previous ones, leaving her breathless when he broke away. Taking her hand, he led her back to the couch, his arm slipping around her as the pair reclined back against the cushioned arm. He quickly loosened his holsters, setting his weapons on the floor within easy reach of his right hand.
"This is going to be very easy to become addicted to," Carth commented, his arm pulling her closer, her head nestling into the crook of his arm.
"Agreed," she replied, wrapping her arm across his chest.
"You know it may take a while to make it legal. How would you feel about marrying me unofficially until we can make it official?" he asked, his eyes watching her.
"Unofficially official. I like the sound of that," Traviata answered. "You mean someone conducting a ceremony," she added.
"Yeah, there will be a mountain of red tape to sort through when we get back to Fleet before it's legal. It will take some time and I don't want to wait that long for you to be my wife. I mean the legal end is important, but what really means the most to me are the words and promises we make to each other," Carth explained.
"I feel exactly the same way," she replied.
He kissed her on the lips, wrapping both arms around her. "Good, that's settled. First halfway unofficial official we can get our hands on, we'll get married." Carth let himself relax, feeling content he closed his eyes.
Traviata moved towards the inside of the couch more.
"I moved to give you more room you know, you can put your leg up here," Traviata commented, noticing he had one foot on the ground.
"No thanks, this is how I sleep in a situation like this," Carth replied, pulling her back over to him.
"Situation like this?" Traviata asked.
"When I'm not sure if I'll have to get up quickly," Carth explained. "Go to sleep."
"Sleep? Really? You're not going to are you?" Traviata asked, knowing the answer.
"Not a chance in hell," Carth confirmed.