As if equally as shocked by the revelation that Meredith was in fact the woman on the gurney, the monitors began to go haywire, snapping Hunt and Bailey out of their shock. They raced off with the gurney, barking orders along the way, leaving Alex, Cristina and I in the ambulance bay. Cristina immediately turned to Alex.

"This is your fault." She yelled. "If you hadn't been so damn insecure over a job and tattled to Owen she wouldn't be almost dead!" She then turned to me. "And don't even get me started on you McBastard." She stormed off into the ER leaving Alex and I behind. Alex looked defeated.

"Don't listen to her she's just scared." Alex gave me a death glare.

"But she's right. At least I have the balls to own up to the fact that I screwed up." And he to stormed into the ER. I lingered in the ambulance bay a little longer. My thoughts were conflicting. I was mad at her yes, but that didn't mean I wanted her to get hit by a freaking car! Karma might have gone a little too far this time. I turned around and headed back into the ER.

I entered the trauma room just in time to watch Meredith's limp body jump at the electrical charge Owen administered. Her body went limp again and the monotonous beep of the monitor continues\d to fill the room. I felt tears stinging the back of my eyes. I wasn't that mad at her. She's a good person who tried to do a good thing even if it was ethically wrong.

"Charge to 360! Clear!" Owen yelled and Meredith's body jumped yet again. This time a slow and slightly irregular beep filled the room. I released a breath I didn't know I was holding. I walked the rest of the way into the room, which was now abuzz with x-ray and ultrasounds and blood draws, and stood over her head. I pulled my penlight from my pocket. I had to pry her eyes open as they were already swelling from bruising, to test her pupillary response. To my disappointment, both her pupils were dilated and her right pupil was blown.

"She needs a head CT." I called out. A nurse put in the order. At the sound of my voice, Bailey handed the ultrasound wand off to a resident and turned to face me.

"And what exactly do you think you're dong?" She asked staring me down with her hands on her hips.

"I'm assessing her neurological status until Dr. Nelson can step in." I assured her confidently. I didn't trust myself to be digging around in Meredith's brain. I might be inclined to look for any reason as to why she could make such rash, stupid decisions. Bailey continued to glare at me.

"Out" she growled, pointing at the door. I hung my head and obeyed. As I left I heard her blood pressure bottom out and the room descend into a frantic hurry to get her upstairs. I looked over to the waiting area. Alex sat with his elbows on his knees and head in his hands. Cristina was shooting daggers with her eyes to no one in particular, that was until she saw me. April and Jackson had shown up with Leixe. April and Lexie were crying into each others shoulders and Jackson just looked pensive.I watched as the Chief ran into the trauma room followed by Nelson and Dr. Altman. The slew of residents in the waiting area watched them appear and disappear just as fast. Their gazes all shifted to me. They were cold hard stares. Why were they all mad at me? It was Meredith who screwed with the trial then couldn't stick around to deal with the consequences. But you can't really blame a dying person, so i figured I'd let them ride it out. I headed off to my office, because even if they were looking for someone to blame, it wad difficult to watch people I considered my friends shot me looks that could kill.

I sat in my office catching up on paperwork. Periodically I looked up at the clock on the wall keeping track of the hours that Meredith was in surgery. Every time I did that I looked at the picture of Meredith on my desk. I felt sick. She had ruined her chance, our chance, to have a forever. Although she could be dead or permanently brain damaged now so what did it matter if she got Alzheimer's? That thought made me sicker. Eventually I finished my stack of paperwork and let my mind drift. I stared at my pager hoping for an update. But what if she was already dead? Or she had brain damage and was comatose? I shook the thought from my head. They'd have to tell me that. I had her power of attorney, I was responsible for all her medical decisions if she wasn't able to make them. I spun around in my chair, my thoughts going in circles and my emotions conflicting each other. I was mad at her but I wanted her to be okay but she could be then and the last hing I would've said to her was "What did you expect to happen?" Damn I was a bastard, but she deserved it. My thoughts kept turning around and around until there was a knock on the door.

"Come in" I called. I expected to see Hunt or Bailey or the Chief but instead it was Janet.

"Dr. Shepherd" She greeted, closing the door behind her as she entered. "I'm sorry, I heard about Dr. Grey."

"Yeah...I...yeah." I muttered. I really didn't want to give away that I din't know anything about my wife's condition since she was rolled into the ER. Janet sighed.

"Look I'm going to get right to the point. You've set off some red flags. Meredith not telling me she was fired is solely on her, but you not telling me of you're separation and disagreement is on both of you. And now you've been avoiding me which screams that you've got something to hide."

"I'm sorry...it's just there's been a lot on my plate." It was a feeble excuse and I knew it but it was all I had.

"I understand that but it doesn't excuse your suspicious behavior."

"So what are you saying?" I rubbed my hands over my face afraid of what was to come next.

"I'm sorry. I've done everything I could but your custody is being suspended indefinitely."

A/N Crap I'm a terrible person I know. But there is light at the end of the tunnel and it won't be a semi I promise. Also there will be no baby in this story because that is just too cliche. But Zola will be back. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and will leave a review.