I felt hollow as I trudged to the daycare center with Janet in tow. My world had crumbled in a matter of twenty four hours. First Meredith had sacrificed our happiness for Richard and Adele, then karma took it a little too far and she had been hit by a car, literally. Now our daughter was being taken away because of her stupid compassion and my over-inflated ego. I really wanted to blame this on Meredith. She was the one who screwed up the trial. But the more I thought about it the more I realized I played a bigger part. I was the one who had run. She had tried to see my side and she had apologized for hurting me. I had run and given her the cold shoulder every time she tried to fix us. But she had run too, and then she had gotten hit by a car. If that had't happened then we could probably have a better chance at keeping Zola. But she had been seriously injured and now we're here. I was pulled from my thoughts as we entered the daycare. Zola immediately started crawling towards me. I crouched down and scooped her up.
"Hi Zozo" I cooed. For a second I forgot about Janet and basked in the moment with my daughter who was giggling as I swayed back and forth with her. However when I turned around to collect the diaper bag reality came crashing down as I saw Janet standing in the doorway with a sad smile. I handed the diaper bag off to her. "She um needs a pacifier in the car and that giraffe, she won't sleep without it." Janet nodded. I wanted to say more about what she does and doesn't like but I couldn't think of anything, Jeez and i had called Meredith the bad parent. I turned my attention back to Zola. "This is Janet." I told her turning so the social worker was in Zola's line of sight. "She's a very nice lady who will find a very nice family to go and stay with until Mama is feeling better. Then you are going to come right back to us. I promise." With a kiss on her forehead I reluctantly handed her off to Janet. I watched as Janet carried Zola out of the daycare, down the hall and disappeared. Then a though crossed my mind that almost brought me to my knees. What about Meredith?
I checked the surgical board. Meredith was still being operated on and had been for the past five hours. I took a deep breath. It was good she was still alive but that still meant a lot of explaining needed to be done from my end. I started to head back to my office forgetting that i was supposed to avoid the waiting area until I was face to face with a very pissed off Cristina and Alex.
"Why did the social worker just walk by with Zola?" Cristina asked venomously. I sighed not liking where this was going.
"We uh...we lost custody." I mumbled looking at my feet.
"Damn it" Alex yelled turning and punching the wall beside him. I jumped back but everyone else seemed unfazed.
"Crap" Mark mumbled and everyone nodded their heads.
"Jesus Mark I'd at least like to think I would have my best friend on my side." I turned to face him.
"Well on Grey's side we have adult conversations about our feelings, instead of running away like a scared little girl." Mark roared.
"And we don't use the lowest blow possible even when we're angry." April chimed in.
"And we put ourselves in other people's shoes for the sake of trying to understand." Lexie added.
"Okay okay, I get it I screwed up." I put my hands up in surrender.
"Not just that McBastard. You monumentally fucked up big time." Cristina growled. "Because now if Mer wakes up, not only will she be in pain physically but emotionally because someone is going to have to tell her that the child she loves to bits and pieces and is an excellent mother to, was taken away because your pride was too injured." The silence that followed was almost deafening. I was shocked by how quick all her friends had been there for her. They were judging her by why she did what she did not just the action itself. I had been selfish. Too bad it took Meredith almost dying and Zola being taken away to realize that.
"When" Alex whispered from his spot on the floor against the wall. Everyone gave him a confused look. "You said if. This is Meredith we're talking about. When she wakes up." He said his voice getting louder and more determined with each word.
"I'll tell her." I hear myself whisper. "I'll tell her about Zola." Immediately I want to take it back because that also meant admitting defeat and apologizing and I wasn't sure if I wanted to do that yet. But from what I gathered it would be a while before she would be able to hear me, so that gave me time to get used to the idea.
I had made my way back to my office a few hours ago, not able to stand the tension in the waiting area. I fiddled on my computer and signed off on charts while watching the minutes tick by. Eventually there was a soft knock at the door.
"Come in" I called. The door opened revealing the Chief.
"She pulled through." He began. "She's in the SICU. We had to remove her spleen and her right Kidney. Torres pieced her ribs back together and fixed up her left leg. She needed to insert a rod into her femur. Altman repaired the holes in her lungs from the broken ribs. She suffered a TBI so we're looking at a sevety-two hour time frame for her to wake up. Nelson repaired all the bleeders he could find but her ICP is still borderline. He inserted a drain and most likely will need to go back in. She's got a 50-50 shot either way."
"Thanks Richard." I whispered running my hand through my hair. He lingered for a moment before speaking again .
"I know you want to blame this whole trial thing on her but she was acting on my behalf. In fact I just got through a meeting with the board explaining how this is my fault not hers. I knew exactly what buttons to push and I pushed them. And I'm sorry I put her career and your reputation on the line for my own personal reasons. She will be reinstated as an employee and i will be stepping down as chief. I'm sorry." Before I could say anything Richard turned and left, leaving me speechless.
A/N Meredith lives Hurrah! I wasn't planning on killing her. I'm still not. I like this chapter, lot of arguing and epiphany-ing. Derek still has some brooding, blaming and button-pushing to do so it will be a ride. Leave a review it makes me happy.