Chapter 30

It's Complicated

"le vrai est trop simple, il faut y arriver toujors par le compliqué."

("The truth is too simple: one must always get there by a complicated route.")

- George Sand [Letter to Armand Barbès]

"That's all of it- at least what I can safely access given our location. I could show you more, but I can't compromise the security of the ongoing mission. Anyway, it's still irrefutable proof that what I told you is true," Carth offered, as he leaned around his son and switched off the monitor he was sitting at.

The commander took the seat next to Dustil, letting his ankle rest on top of his knee, his hands resting lightly on the arms of the chair. Time to wait and hope.

There was no sound but the beeping and chirping of the various systems in the com room for several long agonizing minutes as Dustil digested the information on Taris.

"So you were there when the bombing started," Dustil finally spoke, staring at the dark monitor.

"Yes, I was. My ship had been destroyed first. I crash landed in an escape pod on Taris."

"You? You used an escape pod? Didn't go down with the ship?" Dustil asked with obvious surprise.

"Didn't make any sense to die for nothing. The ship was a complete loss- I'd done all I could for the crew. Besides, I needed to survive so I- well it's not important right now. It's-"

"Complicated," Dustil put in, his hands folded together on the small work space in front of him, still staring blankly in front of him. "Yeah, you've been saying that a lot. Was she part of that complication too, that woman you were with?"

Carth raised an eyebrow at that, and picked up his mug of stimcaf, taking a long draw, considering his answer. When to tell Dustil about Traviata? He'd been trying to avoid that topic until he got on better footing with his son. Still he couldn't lie to him and he was going to find out the truth, and soon, especially if they stayed much longer on the ship. Dustil had always been extraordinarily intelligent, no doubt he realized there was more to their relationship than business.

Carth sat his cup down, leaned his elbows onto his knees, clasping his hands together in front of him.

"Yeah, she was. She was a crewman on my ship," Carth explained, staring at his hands. He would tell the truth, but not until he had to. "We escaped to Taris together, and then also, she and some of the other current crew members on this ship escaped from Taris during the bombing. It's a," long breath, "long story. Anyway, it was touch and go for a while, but we made it off."

"Any chance you'll really ever explain your complicated long story to me?"

"Every chance, I promised didn't I? I still don't break my promises son. Just- not now, after we leave I will," Carth assured him.

"That is if you decide to come with me," he added, sensing his son stiffen. Dustil was coming with him one way or another, but it would be easier on their relationship if he came willingly.

"When they started bombing Taris, were you scared?" Dustil asked, his attention on his hands.

Carth looked up at his son, caught off guard by the question. Dustil must have been terrified when Telos was destroyed, unsure of what was going on, wondering what to do and where to go. The commander didn't have to imagine the thoughts that would plague the son he knew.

Could I have done more, saved more people; if I was stronger, better, more of a warrior, more of a fighter? These were questions a man, hell any soldier asks of the night when you're all alone and you've survived a tragedy. The night never answers, but self recrimination and regret is always glad to.

"Hell yeah I was scared," Carth answered bluntly.

"You said your ship was lost, how did you get off the planet," Dustil asked, his eyes now meeting his father's.

"He stole a ship- or well we did. Hell of a battle getting it too. Very bucket you're sitting in," Canderous answered, from the doorway.

Carth had heard the unmistakable sound of the Mandalorian's boots on the deck plates as he approached, but had hoped that he would walk by. The crew knew they were on board, but Carth had asked them to steer clear. Leave it to Canderous to ignore his wishes.

"You stole a ship?" Dustil's eyes flickering between the two men.

Carth shot Canderous a glare. "It was officially confiscated from a crime lord, by an officer in the Republic Fleet, in a time of war. It wasn't theft."

"Word it however you like Fleet," Canderous said with a loud laugh. "We killed the bastard for it and took off in it. Mandalorians call it something different, to the victor go the spoils."

Silence.

"What do you want Canderous? I asked everyone to give us some privacy."

"Where's Traviata? I have a bone to pick with her," he returned.

"She's at the academy, which if you'd done your job, she wouldn't be."

"As if you've ever been able to stop her from doing what she damn well pleased," Canderous added.

"Is Traviata your complication?" Dustil asked his father.

"Oh you said a mouthful there boy," Canderous said with a hearty chuckle before leaving the pair.

"Sorry about that. Ignore him- yes I mean no, I mean," Carth paused, this was not the right time to tell him the complete truth about that. "To answer your question, yes, the woman you met with me at the academy, her name is Traviata."

"You have a Mandalorian as part of your crew on this ship?" Dustil asked in obvious surprise and disgust, his disbelieving gaze on his father.

Carth let go a long breath, nodding slightly. "Yep- I do. It's-"

"Complicated," Dustil added, meeting his father's eyes. "Must be for you to have him on board."

Carth gave him a small smile, "You know that's right."

For an instant, the corners of Dustil's mouth turned up slightly in response, before his customary scowl returned. However fleeting, he looked to Carth like the son he remembered. Dustil was still in there behind the mask.

"It's a pretty crazy story, unbelievable really," Carth's tone thoughtful. "I imagine you've racked up a few stories of your own, I'd love to hear them."

"Like you have time to hear them."

"I don't, but I'll make time," Carth persisted.

Just then Mission walked by the com room, catching Carth's attention by the way she was dressed. She looked like she was heading out of the ship, a bag slung over one shoulder.

"Whoa, wait a minute Mission- where do you think you're going," Carth asked sternly, swearing to himself. Was Canderous even attempting to keep anyone on board?

"Oh hey, Carth," she greeted him, her eyes careful to avoid Dustil. "Don't burst a vessel, I'm just going to Czerka for Canderous. He's been working on the hyperdrive you killed getting here and needs some parts. I'm taking Zaalbar and HK with me."

"No damn way- I said no one leaves the ship and I meant no one. Especially you and especially with that psychotic droid and most especially dressed like that. There are slavers everywhere, I even saw a wookie in a cage in one of the shops," Carth informed her sternly. "I don't know what the hell Canderous is thinking, he knows better."

"Alright, alright- I didn't realize. It may be possible that I was supposed to have HK go- alone," Mission offered guiltily. "I wanted to look around at their tech, maybe get a drink. See what I could dig up on my own."

"Only thing you're likely to dig up here is a slaver working for a Hutt. I swear, between you and Traviata," Carth admonished as Mission gave him a quick hug.

"Hurry back, I miss you guys, even your nagging," Mission threw over her shoulder as she left the room.

"Don't leave the ship," he yelled after her.

"I won't, I won't," she replied, muttering something under her breath.

Carth noticed she was walking very slowly as she left, with a little extra swish in her stride. He looked over to see his son staring intently after Mission.

"This discussion we've had on board- how you were with her- Mission," he paused. "Why couldn't you have been more like this when I was growing up," Dustil accused, bitterness raw in his voice. "It didn't even feel like you cared..."

The Republic soldier let go a long breath, "I was an idiot. It took me losing everything and everyone I loved, and then miraculously being given a second chance to realize the truth."

"Which is?" Dustil asked when his father hesitated.

"None of it matters if I fail the ones I love. I will continue to do my duty- I will get my revenge on Saul and Malak and finish this frakin' mission, one way or another- but I swear to you, I will make time for you, always. I do care, I love you son."

Dustil's eyes flitted to the doorway and back to his father. "The twi'lek. Mission? She's part of your crew too?"

"No and yes, she's not supposed to be here. It's- part of the long story. She'll be on board until I can get her someplace safe," Carth offered up, mixed feelings about his son's obvious interest in Mission.

"I'm still not sure about- us. I need time to figure that one out. But I don't want to stay with the Sith anymore either- plus I would like to hear this long story of yours. I'll leave with you," Dustil added.

"Good, I'm glad son," Carth said, his voice catching slightly, betraying his emotion. It may have been Mission's presence that finally won his son over to the idea of leaving, but at this point he'd count it as a victory.

"You're not ready to leave yet are you? I need to go back, talk to a couple of buddies. One of them had family on Taris," Dustil asked. "I owe it to him to tell him what I learned."

"I have something to finish up before we leave," Carth paused, his mind racing for the best solution for his son. He wanted him off the planet now, but there was no practical way of accomplishing that. "Talk to your friends, I admire your loyalty, but make it quick. We may have to get out of here in a hurry."

There was a beep on the com, causing Carth to swear silently, his hand loudly pounded the control panel. "Yes, what is it" he asked curtly.

"Commander, I need to speak with you before you leave the ship."

"Bastilla, can it wait? I need to get back to the academy, we've been gone a while and it's late as it is and not to mention Traviata's been in that place alone for hours now."

"No it can't wait and- I will be brief."

"First time for everything", Carth said under his breath.

"Fine, doesn't sound like I have a choice," Carth replied, punching the button firmly, letting go a long breath, he rose. "Sorry about that."

"You command this mission?" Dustil asked coming to his feet as well.

"Yeah, well mostly- I really don't want to say it's complicated again," Carth said spreading his hands. "But it is. It's not a normal mission, it's turned into more of a special operation." Even thinking of trying to explain it to Dustil made his head hurt. Where would he begin? It sounded insane, even to him. Always had actually, but he went along with it anyway in the hopes it would end the war.

"Indeed, a very special operation," Bastilla cut in frowning.

Dustil jumped at her sudden and silent arrival. "Holy crap."

"A moment of your time in private, Commander."

"I'm sorry Dustil, this will just take a minute. Will you meet me in the common room we passed on our way here?"

"Yeah, sure," he muttered, coldly eyeing Bastilla as he passed her.

"What," Carth asked with steel in his voice, checking his chrono.

"How is Traviata handling being here?"

About the same as she was, maybe a little better judging by the looks of her, and he didn't think that was possible. Bastilla looked awful; her cheeks were sunken, black circles under her eyes, no makeup, sallow complexion. Instead of her customary scanty highly elaborate attire, she was wearing a simple flowing robe.

Carth shrugged, "As good as can be expected, considering."

"Commander, a few more details," she said with reproof. "This is important. I mean her mood, her actions, her visions, nightmares. I can barely sense anything from her in that place. The darkness is so strong- it makes it difficult. Has she been violent- angry?" Bastilla snapped sternly.

Sounded like Bastilla had been expecting Traviata's troubles, as well as obviously experiencing them herself. Carth didn't know if that made him feel better or worse.

"Like you, she has a short fuse lately- It's affected her in all the ways you mentioned, to varying degrees. But overall, she's okay. What do you know?"

Bastilla nodded. "Nothing, it's just that being here for a Jedi- especially for her- well it's unimaginable for someone who isn't a Jedi. The darkness calls to you constantly, it's an unrelenting assault on your senses. But if you've noticed no major shift in her behavior, then that is good news."

Carth's eyes narrowed in suspicion, his brow furrowing deeply. "Seems like she's doing better than you actually- but what did you mean by especially for her?"

"Oh, just that she's so untrained, with no mentor to help guide her through this while she's at the academy," Bastilla replied, her gaze shifting under his steady stare.

Lying, but that was nothing new. He was certain she'd been lying to him from their first meeting. As usual Traviata was involved in it somehow.

"There's something more you're not saying- always is with you, but if she's in danger you need to tell me," Carth replied. "I can't protect her if I don't know what I'm fighting."

"In a word- evil. In the end, you may be the one who needs protecting, or you may be her anchor to the light- I've said too much. Be careful Carth," Bastilla warned before quickly retreating.

Carth watched her leave, his head doing a double take. "What the hell was that," he said barely above a whisper.

Carth walked over to the com punching at the controls. "Jolee?"

"Yes," the old Jedi answered mildly.

"Better keep an eye on Bastilla- I don't think she's well," Carth warned.

"I already am, have been for a while," Jolee returned.

"Noted," Carth said heavily.

The sense of dread and fear he'd been having just doubled. Something wasn't right, and it was more than just the affects of being on Korriban.

"Is the idea of murder so appalling to you? Maybe I misjudged you. Are you certain you want to be a Sith," Yuthura asked darkly.

No not at all, but I can't tell you that, Traviata said to herself dryly.

The Jedi had visited Yuthura in her quarters after returning back to the academy. Carth was with Dustil and she'd felt led to show Yuthura the sword she'd recovered earlier. She'd hoped to gather some intel on Naga Sadow's tomb in the process. She not only got information, she'd hit the mother load, though it came with ramifications.

"It's not that- could you go over your plan again?" Traviata understood what she proposed very well. She was busy formulating her own scheme and needed to make sure she could align the two.

"Ah, you're afraid it won't work? I assure you, he'll take you to the tomb for your final test. He's been very impressed with what he's seen you do on the training floor. Once you present him with that blade, coupled with my recommendation, there's no doubt," Yuthura assured her.

"It will only be the three of us in the caves. Not like here, where he's constantly surrounded and we'd be vastly outnumbered. You are powerful, the two of us will be able to defeat him. Then I will become the headmaster. This is the way of the Sith," Yuthura finished.

"Okay, I understand. Count me in," Traviata replied. There was no other apparent way in, and she didn't have to kill the man. Though to escape with the star map, might require it anyway.

"Aren't you worried about being overheard? There's surveillance everywhere," Traviata noted, her eyes darting around for emphasis. "What if Master Uthar discovers your plan?"

Yuthura smiled thinly. "I'm in charge of reviewing security footage revealing any subversive or unusual activity. Incidentally, quite a bit of the surveillance on you has come across my desk due to the garbled sound. It's quite odd- some might think you were in possession of a com disruptor and that you were trying to hide something," she informed her, pausing to let that soak in.

Traviata swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. The Republic spent a lot of credits training her for this type of situation. Come up with a clever explanation, she scolded herself. Her mind raced. Words, words- she needed to say something. Anything. "Who, us? What would I have to hide? Besides, you approached me in the cantina. It's not like I was trying to get in here," she offered.

"Hmm, perhaps. Well it could be caused by any number of things of course. The building is ancient, and the students often don't hit where they're aiming with the Force lightening and it wrecks havoc with the electronics. Don't worry about it, I'm certain it is just a technical malfunction," Yuthura returned, watching her student intently.

Traviata waited, holding her breath. There was an unspoken 'but' left hanging in the air. No doubt it was coming.

"But had you not agreed to my plan or if you try to back out, I may just have to bring the issue to the attention of Master Uthar- Couldn't help but notice what great affection you and your companion- John- share. He's an interesting human, makes frequent visits to a Sith hopeful, Dustil. Funny thing, their resemblance to each other is uncanny. Odd, I just realized there's something wrong with the audio when they're together too," she finished, her voice rippling with soft menace.

A chill went down Traviata's spine at her words. She had them. There was nothing that would explain it. Their cover, if not completely blown, was severely compromised. If things weren't bad enough, they'd implicated Dustil as well. One thing was certain, Dustil had to get out of there immediately. His safety was now her top priority.

"Suffice it to say that you're not the only one who has disrupted surveillance footage. Our conversation is completely private," Yuthura assured, her self satisfaction obvious.

Traviata fought the desire to call her lightsaber into her hand. Three easy movements and the woman would no longer be a threat. The teacher had no idea how outmatched she was. That was not an option though, at least not at the moment. Yuthura was the way to get to the star map.

"Okay, as I said before, count me in. You'll have my full cooperation," Traviata affirmed.

Traviata reached out with the Force, probing the woman's thoughts. Frustration, anger, smugness, sadness and something more. Deception yes, but also perhaps some regret? It was hard to be certain, her mind had been so fuzzy since their arrival at the school.

"May I ask you a question," she asked mildly.

"That depends on the question," Yuthura replied guardedly.

"I was just wondering, why did you join the Sith?"

Why did she even care? This woman had just threatened her husband and his son, as well as her self. Still the Force was urging her to ask.

"The power of the darkside-" Yuthura started.

"No, I understand that part. I know about the power of the darkside. What did you want the power for?" Traviata interrupted.

"You are not a normal Sith- Of course I knew there was something, different about you from the start. I felt it at the cantina and I knew you could help me in my quest," she said, her voice tinged with curiosity.

"Fine, I'll tell you. I was enslaved, it happens quite often to Twi'leks. Anyway, I escaped but was marooned on an uninhabited planet," she explained, walking to her desk, absentmindedly fiddling with the sabre Traviata had relinquished to her on her arrival. "It was the Jedi Order that rescued me actually. Once I became a padawan, I left them to gain more power, to make a difference, to help others enslaved."

"Oh, that must have been awful. I'm sorry that happened to you. Have you been able to make a difference since joining the Sith then?" There was still a flicker of light in this woman. If she could only find a way to fan the flame, maybe she could be saved.

"No- I mean- not really," she admitted, letting go a long breath. "Here. You'll need this back. We'll meet Wynn in the morning. Make sure you get some sleep, you're going to need it," Yuthura instructed, holding out the sword for Traviata, but not turning to look at her. A slight wave of her hand and the door opened instantly.

The weary woman had returned to her empty quarters after her conversation with Yuthura, glad they were vacant. She needed time to think, and without Carth around to cloud her mind further asking probing questions.

The floor was frigid and rough, but she steeled herself against the cold, ignoring her shivering body. Instead of trying to meditate and feel the Force, she'd try just remembering a time when she'd done it successfully.

Crossing her legs, she closed her eyes and let her mind flash back to Dantooine's Jedi Temple and the meditation chamber there she'd spent so much time in. The peace and tranquility she'd felt then. Yes, she could feel the weight lifting slightly, the floor didn't feel as cold. The oppressive darkness of Korriban seemed to push back, causing the image to disappear.

She tried again, focusing on the same image. The way the room smelled of crushed flowers, animal's musk and peat. The floor was no longer hard, but soft like the handwoven mats that covered the warm wood in the meditation room at the Temple. She could clearly hear the wind sighing softly, the quiet murmurings of Jedi as they moved about the Temple and her own breathing. In her mind, she was there. For a few moments at least, before she could hold on to the image no longer. It wasn't much, but enough to leave her feeling much more centered and in control.

The Force. Jedi. Carth. Republic Fleet. Sith. Malak.

Traviata mentally ticked off the list of each thing that changed her life over the past months. How was this happening to her? She didn't even think she wanted to be a Jedi at all anymore. This power she'd learned to wield was too great. Combing through the caves and tombs, she'd barely needed Carth's help at all. Half the time she'd held back, not wanting to hurt his pride or increase his worry about her. The subject of the Jedi and her Force use was an unresolved issue in their relationship. Although they didn't speak of it much anymore, she knew Carth was deeply concerned about her abilities and what they could do to her and others if she lost her way.

Sitting in this bleak place, the idea nauseated her. They only had two more star maps to find. Then it would all be over. They could return to the Republic, resume their duties in the military and start a life together. Their future would be far less complicated if she could just leave the Jedi behind with the completion of their quest. Carth would be ecstatic if she did. Maybe that's what she would do. Until then, she had to figure a way out of this current debacle. A chill ran through her, no longer feeling the warmth that had held her too briefly.

Traviata rose and liberated the blanket from where they slept, cocooned herself into it, flopped onto the floor near the heat vent, and let her back rest against the bed. She devised a strategy quickly to accomplish her goals. It had been in her mind, really since Yuthura made her intentions known. She'd just hoped another way would come to her.

It was a solid plan. It wasn't reckless really, well given her lack of options, Traviata thought wryly. She'd rather not solo the operation, but having anyone accompany her was not an alternative anyway. Retrieving the star maps had been challenging so far, to say the least. Trying to acquire one alone? Her husband and C.O would call it a suicide mission. It was the only way though. She sighed loudly, and let her head lay back onto the bed, closing her eyes. He'd never go along with it, no matter the cost, but he wouldn't have to if he didn't know.

She'd feel better about her chances if she wasn't prone to suffering disturbing illusions of Malak and all his activities around Korriban. Malak had to be behind the mirages, after all he was the star of everyone of them since arriving on the frigid planet. He must be trying to turn her, or drive her mad- she grimaced inwardly.

She was going to talk to Carth about heading to Dantooine when they finished on the Sith home world. The Jedi Masters there would be able to help her, or at least give her some guidance on how to combat whatever the Dark Lord was up to. Could there be some type of a psychic Jedi band aid they could give her? She knew Carth hated the Council, but he'd welcome the idea of her taking a break and it would be a safe place to leave Dustil and Mission until their mission was complete.

Traviata stretched out willing her aching muscles to loosen up, enjoying the calm she felt once she'd decided on a plan to keep Dustil safe and retrieve the star map.

"You know, there's a name for what you're doing," Traviata announced softly, not opening her eyes, savoring the warmth of her nest.

"I thought I got a pass on that when we got married," Carth returned playfully, testing her mood. He continued to lean against the stone archway, where he was watching her, his arms crossed across his stomach.

"Not a chance, mister," she tossed back, doing her best not to smile.

"C'mon, that hardly seems fair."

Carth's footsteps were the only sound in the dim room. Traviata moved briefly to allow him to sit behind her on the bed, and then she rested against his legs.

"You keep that up, and maybe we'll talk about it," Traviata said with a slight moan of pleasure, as he began massaging her shoulders through the blanket.

"How did it go with Dustil? It's the middle of the night, so that's a good sign," she commented, leaning forward slightly so he could reach her back better.

"Yeah, I was hoping you'd be asleep. It went well, I mean- it's as good as it's going to be for a while, especially here. He's at least talking some, that's why I'm so late. After I'd showed him the proof about Taris, he did say he'd leave with us," Carth revealed.

Traviata opened her eyes at that, twisting around so she could see Carth's face. "That's wonderful and will make things a lot easier." She was thrilled at the news for Carth and Dustil's sake, but it would also make her plan much simpler.

Carth shot her a questioning look at that.

"You know, as opposed to dragging him out kicking and screaming," she explained.

"Yeah, agreed. Although I have a sneaking suspicion his meeting Mission has a lot more to do with him agreeing to leave than anything."

"I doubt that, but hey, at least he's got good taste, like his dad," Traviata teased sleepily, fighting a yawn, letting her back melt into his hands. "We get him out of here, give it some time, it will be fine. You'll see."

He nodded, pressuring her forward with his legs. "C'mon, get up," he urged, his hands now resting on her breastbone. He leaned around her, enveloping her in his arms, kissing her quickly on the cheek.

"Not even a slim chance of that," she replied, caressing the side of his face, rubbing the overgrowth on his cheek. "I'm comfortable."

He hadn't shaved since they'd been at the academy, she knew he preferred his old fashioned blade left on board the Hawk, and refused to use the alternative hair removal system provided at the academy. The result was a dark overgrowth peppered with some gray, leaving him looking rakish and dangerous at the same time.

"You were busy on the ship, you didn't even take the time to shave, which I was certain you'd do," Traviata commented, adjusting herself so she could lay her head on his leg, her fingers drawing invisible circles on the outside of his thigh. It was the most relaxed she'd felt since landing there.

Carth rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Took longer than I thought, and then I wanted to get back to you. I didn't like leaving you in this place alone."

"How was everyone? It's so hard to tell here, I can sense them all, but it's fuzzy- like a bootleg holonet recording of a movie," Traviata said casually.

Carth smiled, chuckling softly, one hand absentmindedly playing with her hair. "They're all okay. Mission misses you." No sense in telling her about the state he found Bastilla in. Traviata seemed much better now, more like herself than she'd been in a while. The last thing he wanted was to do anything to change that. It was nice to just be with her for a change.

"I want to hear about the bootleg holonet recordings? Seen a lot of those?"

"Are you kidding?" she asked, craning to her head to meet his eyes, returning his smile. "In boot- tons. Mostly comedies or action vids. We had such a great time."

"Ha, bet you're the first to ever describe boot as a great time. Of course with your previous training, I get that. Still- I don't know. I remember boot a little differently. Tough, regimented, competitive."

"Well yeah, during the very long days that sometimes lasted until sunup, it was like you said. But when we had a little free time or rack time, we had fun. You're telling me you didn't ever do anything remotely entertaining at boot Commander?" she asked with disbelief.

"Yeah, we played some pazaak when we could. Even that was extremely combative, literally and figuratively. I made enough credits to buy my mom a new television though."

"That's sweet, and doesn't surprise me," she replied, smiling softly, picturing Carth as a young recruit and proudly purchasing the gift for his mother.

"How did you guys get access to vids- sorry, I just can't get my mind wrapped around that one. You were on a constant lock down. How did it work?"

"Oh well Trask smuggled them in, we'd-" she stopped mid sentence, her eyes staring unseeing into the dark corners of the room. Suddenly she was choked up with emotion at the memories. She rested her head back on Carth's leg, feeling a wave of grief wash over her at the sound of his name. She did her best not to think of him, it was too torturous.

Carth's hand went still, his other arm gently stroking her back. Traviata very rarely spoke his name, the wound was still too raw and deep. Carth had lost a lot of good buddies over the years, he knew her pain and it never got easier, the list of lost friends just got longer. "I'm sorry. You don't have to go on," he whispered.

"No- no, I want to. He deserves to be remembered," she responded after a long silence. "We'd sit on my bunk, I drew the bottom one when I got there- anyway," she continued slowly, her voice faint, obviously lost in her memories. "For hours at night, after the endless drills and classes, we'd sit, completely exhausted, bitching about our C.O.- and drink warm beer- also smuggled in I should add and watch movies. Sometimes the sound quality was so bad, Trask would make up his own lines. He was hilarious. Before you knew it everyone was hovered around the tiny screen and laughing- forgetting all their worries, for a while at least..." she trailed off, closing her eyes against the tears.

"It's okay to cry, to mourn. You're human and you cared for him," Carth whispered, bending over and kissing where a tear had escaped. "You've kept it in for so long. I'm glad to hear you talk about him."

"He was such a great guy, kind but also a hard ass, and like I said funny- he was an amazing soldier. You'd have liked him a lot."

"I'm sure I would have," Carth said mildly. "He was a good friend to you, he was a brave and honorable soldier, a hero. He saved your life and that makes me forever grateful to him."

Traviata gave Carth's leg squeeze, kissing it lightly.

"Did you have friends like Trask when you were in Intelligence? You never mention your time there. Black ops have a rep for being tight, like a family."

He had a lot of questions about that period in her life, but they never really talked about it in depth. Speaking about her more recent boot camp experience renewed his lingering questions.

"No. Because of my skills, I floated around. Never got close to anyone. That time in my life is really just a blur of training, drills and classes. Lots of nameless faces, I'm ashamed to admit," she answered, yawning loudly.

"I had been out of the hospital about a month, after recovering from an op that went bad- anyway, I'd just got a promotion was about to go on my first solo assignment and bam, I was transferred to Fleet. I was devastated, but then I met Trask and he made it all fun somehow," she added, fighting back another yawn.

"You're exhausted, I am too. Let's get some sleep."

She groaned her protest, not budging.

"C'mon, get in bed where I can actually reach you, I'll finish giving you a massage. You only have a few hours before you have to be up," he said more firmly, scooting forward as he spoke. "C'mon, up."

If only she was faking her fatigue, she thought wryly. She rose to her feet, keeping the cover pulled closely to her and then fell onto the bed, laying on her stomach. Her plan wouldn't work if she couldn't get him to go to sleep, at least for a bit. He didn't sleep much, but she knew he'd doze off periodically most nights, even there. Maybe fully clothed, with one foot on the floor, and his blaster in his hand, but he did nap some.

Carth straddled her on the bed, careful to keep most of his weight off her, he began kneading the web of sore muscles across her back. "So did you have any luck with Yuthura? Did you find out how we might get into the tomb?"

"A little. I think she's going to be a big help and by tomorrow- we'll have everything we need," Traviata replied casually, hoping he didn't press.

"That's good to hear," he commented, his voice reflecting his surprise. "Tell me the rest. What happened exactly? What did she say?"

"Hmm, later- too sleepy," she trailed off, her voice muffled by the covers. "I love you, Carth. Always," she added even softer.

Traviata willed every muscle in her body to go limp, slowed her breathing. Being a little evasive was one thing, but she refused to outright lie to him about it. Feigning sleep was her only defense.

"Viata," he called out softly, his hands going still. "Traviata, I love you too. Sweet dreams," he whispered, when she didn't respond he kissed the back of her head and rolled off her gently, to the other side of the bed.

Carth tucked one arm under his head, rested his right foot onto the stone floor, and found his blaster with his free hand. He stared for a long moment at his wife, as if studying her and then let his eyes close. The two of them sharing a few intimate moments like any normal couple. His son and wife under the same roof. Would be a dream come true, if only we weren't in the heart of enemy territory, Carth thought. "Soon, I will get you both someplace safe," he promised before letting himself doze.