For a wile I just drove. I din't have a particular destination in mind, I just weaved my way through the chaotic streets of Seattle. I drove by the harbor. I considered pulling over and watching the ferryboats but images of pulling Meredith's cold lifeless body from the bay flashed through my mind, so I kept gong. I got on the freeway I had to fight the urge to put the pedal to the metal. If I wrecked and got hurt then we would have no chance of getting Zola back. And if I got arrested, the one person who would bail me out was currently unconscious in the ICU. So I did the speed limit and I found myself at the frat house. I really wasn't sure what to call it. A week ago I would have simply called it home now as I looked back at the trail of destruction I left behind I'm not really sure anymore. Sure the woman I loved and our daughter had lived here, but now one was fighting for life and the other was off somewhere in a foster home. I sat in the driveway for a good five minutes wondering how it all fell apart, before I worked up the courage to go inside.
Nobody was home and it was eerily quiet. The house looked like it usually did. Shoes were strewn by the front door and jackets were hastily hung up. I bit my lip at the small toddler sized shoes next to a pair of April's flats. I sighed slowly wandering my way into the kitchen. There was a laundry basket on the table and two more on the chairs. The one on the table was filled to the brim with neatly folded clothes. It was mostly Meredith's clothes. Her loved jeans and sweats and a few long sleeved shirts. Interwoven were a few of my old t-shirts and jeans. I smiled that she had done my laundry but instantly felt guilty because I had been planning on coming by to collect my things tonight, because Meredith was supposed to be on-call. I sighed as I hoisted the laundry basket on my hip to bring it upstairs. I was about to walk by Alex's room when something caught my eye. I poked my head in the room and was shocked to find it was empty. Meredith had kicked him out. Alex who was the closest thing she had to a family and had similar traumatic childhood experiences. She'd kicked him out because he'd ratted on her. A surge of anger washed through me. Alex had done the right thing and the poor guy had been kicked out of his home. I quickly let go of the anger, it's what had gotten us in this predicament in the first place. I continued to Meredith's, my, our bedroom. Quite frankly considering how I'd acted, it wouldn't surprise me if it was just Meredith's room for a while. The room was a mess. There were piles upon piles of baby clothing on the floor. There were bags of baby things from pacifiers to bibs. The sheets were twisted and strewn across the bed. I sighed putting the laundry basket on the bed and began picking up stuff and putting it away.
I must have fallen asleep, because a while later because I was jarred awake by the sound of my phone ringing. I blindly reached for my phone, knocking a few things to the floor in the process. I hit the answer button not bothering to check the caller ID.
"Hello?" I grumbled, blinking sleep from my eyes. The glowing red numbers next to me told me it was a little after 4 A.M.
"Derek? It's Richard." I was immediately awake. If Richard was calling it probably wasn't good.
"Is it Meredith?" I asked dreading the answer but knowing I was right.
"Yeah it is. Her ICP skyrocketed and we had to open her up bedside. Scans show at least four new bleeds."
"And you need to my consent to take her into surgery." I finished, swallowing the lump in my throat.
"Yeah. They're prepping her now." Richard sighed.
"You have verbal consent for now to do whatever. I'm at her house, I'll be there in about 15 minutes." I didn't wait for a reply before I hung up the phone. I quickly changed before running out the door. No one was home, which made sense because Lexie was probably still with Meredith and Jackson and April were picking up the slack of the missing residents. I jumped in the car and barely had my seat belt on before I backed out of the driveway.
The drive to the hospital was a blur. I probably broke a speed limit or two trying to get there, but there was hardly any traffic so I wasn't worried. I skidded into my parking spot and barely had the keys out of the ignition before I took off for the front door. The elevators were out of the question as I made a beeline for the stairs, taking them two at a time to the SICU. I burst through the door, jogging towards Meredith's room. April, Jackson, Alex, Mark and Bailey were at the nurses station. Upon seeing me approaching, Bailey reached behind her and grabbed a clipboard.
"Chief and Nelson are prepping her. Yang and Little Grey are with her." She said handing me a pen. I started filling out the paperwork and scribbling my signature.
"How is she? I mean...otherwise." There was a collective sigh from the group, that made me nervous.
"She's...hanging in there. Her kidney is having trouble picking up the slack and her liver is having trouble too. She hasn't shown any signs of breathing over the vent, so her lungs are having issues too. But it's only been 12 hours or so. We're still waiting." Mark explained with a solemn expression. I nodded still a little shell shocked.
"Can I?..." I trailed off gesturing to Meredith's room. Mark nodded.I walked over to the glass door and looked in. Cristina and Lexie were on either side of the bed each holding one of Meredith's hands. They weren't saying anything just looking at Meredith. The Chief and Dr. Nelson were huddled by the light board in the corner quietly discussing. Slowly I slid the door open. Cristina and Lexie instantly gave me death glares but said nothing, Richard and Nelson gave me sympathetic looks.
"Ah Dr. Shepherd just in time." Nelson greeted with false cheeriness. They both stepped aside to let me see the image on the light board. "As you can see she has four bleeds all relatively close together. I was planning on a craniotomy and if need be we'll leave the skull cap off." Dr. Nelson explained motioning towards the image on the board.
"Okay" I nodded, not really able to say much more through the shock of the reality. "Can I...Can I have a minute alone?...With her?" The Chief and Nelson nodded. Cristina and Lexie were more reluctant but after a stern look from Richard, they followed. I took one of Meredith's hands and sat down in the visitor chair beside her bed. I reached out and brushed a hand over her cheek. Her face was still really bruised and the road rash on her cheek was definitely going to scar no matter what Mark did, but she still looked like beautiful Meredith. "Hey" I whispered, hoping she could hear me. "I know it seems like you don't have a lot to fight for right now, but I promise that it will get better. You have to because I love you and I'm really sorry about the way I acted. But you have to fight because I want to say it to you and know that you can hear me. And Zola needs you to fight because were getting her back I promise that too. So just fight, please Meredith." The door opened and Richard walked in.
"I'm sorry, but it's time." I nodded standing and gently, I kissed Meredith on the cheek.
A/N Woah rough chapter. But hey at least Derek is talking to her even if she is unconscious. She's going to be okay I promise. I'm sort of enjoying pensive Derek without anything on Meredith's side but she'll wake up eventually and there will be adult conversing FINALLY. Please leave a review because that would make me happy.