Chapter 46.

So. This took forever to update... My bad! I've been busy and ill and tired and I just...! Yeah!

For those of you who are waiting for a Lord of the Zombies update, I'm sorry it's taking so long! Writers block. :P You see, I'm getting to a good part of this story, and my attention's a little more focused on This is Home. But! I will get an update out, soon! :) I already started writing the chapter and everything. It's just a matter of time.

I don't own Lord of the Rings. I love Theoden's angry yelling at Saruman in the movies, so I quoted it in here. I do not own the rights to it, but that's okay! I'm just writing this for entertainment. I am not gaining any money from this whatsoever, and I do not want credit for any quotes that I may have taken from the books or movies. I try to avoid direct quotes, in all reality. That being said, I'm not going to quote the entire Isengard scene. If you're reading this, chances are you know what happens.

(Sophie)

"They what?"

Kristy sighed, regretting saying anything. "You know, I knew that you would freak out."

"How could they leave without me?" Do they not know me at all? "I should be there!"

"Now, Sophie..." Boromir tried to calm me down, but I think that he was expecting a different argument than he got.

"Or... Collin should be here!" I cried, causing my friends to stop and stare. I raised an eyebrow at them, giving them the 'for real?' look. "Do you guys really think that I want to go to Isengard? No! I don't! I'm just totally peeved that they dragged my best friend away right after he got back!" For real! What the heck, guys? Just go get him killed for real this time, why don'tcha?

Jerks. They'll never learn, will they?

Kristy let out a sigh and rolled her eyes. "They'll be back soon, Soph. Just take a deep breath and relax."

"How can I relax at a time like this? What if he dies?"

Kristy shrugged, sending me a less than happy look. "Then they're all probably gonna die, and that includes Legolas. So, calm down. You're not the only one who might lose someone."

My eyebrows shot up in a most curious look. "Mmhmm..."

"What?" My best friend sighed in frustration.

"Oh, nothing." I shrugged, turning away nonchalantly. "It's just that I'm sensing something..."

"Sensing something?"

"Mmhmm... Something's telling me that a certain SOMEONE is in love!" I turned back to her, giving her a cocky smile.

Kristy's cheeks turned red in a bright blush, and she looked like she wanted to punch me. "You're being ridiculous."

"Perhaps... Or perhaps I'm right!" I'm banking on me being right. That typically happens when speaking of Kristy-pooh.

My friend sighed, looking down at the wagon that was now carrying us to Edoras. "What is love?"

I could break out into Haddaway's 'What is Love,' but that would just burst poor Kristy's eardrums. So, I'll take a much more mature approach. "It's butterflies gone haywire in your stomach. They've mutinied, my friend. They've gone against the tight-net boundaries that you've sewn around them, and they're preparing an all-out attack on the rest of your body. If my calculations are correct, it's already begun. First, they'll go for your eyes to blind you to what is coming. Then, they'll go for your legs, turning them into jello. After that, they'll go for your arms, making you ten times more clumsy than you were before. Then you'll lose the functions of your voice, rendering you speechless. After that, they'll finish you off by attacking your brain, making you ask silly questions such as, 'what is love?' And guess what, Kristy? I know who the leader of that butterfly rebellion is. It is Legolas, the apple of your eye, himself. Forgive him, Kristy! He has no idea how bad this has become!"

Yes. That explanation of love was far more mature than singing a song.

Kristy gave me a look that suggested how crazy she truly believed me to be. "Have you and Boromir had these problems?"

"Oh, yes!" Boromir answered for me. "I let loose an assassin butterfly of my own to start the rebellion. It took quite a bit of work, but it was worth the trouble."

I smiled at my fiance, fighting the urge to kiss him. "I love you, man."

He gave Kristy a wink. "You see! It has worked!"

Oh, goodness. And I thought that I couldn't love him more.

Kristy actually cracked a smile, shaking her head. "Well, my butterflies are relentless."

Yepp. Sounds about right. They get you when you're not looking, and they never, ever stop.

"Don't be silly, Kris." I gave my friend a smile. "Butterflies mean well."

The look on her face insisted that she wasn't so sure.

(James)

"'Sup, man?" I looked at Collin, who eyeing the land around him. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah." He waved me off, continuing to explore the land. "It just looks... Different, here."

Oh, yeah! I forgot that he'd been here, before. Must be some crazy flashback. From what I've seen, it's a big mess. Lots of rubble and rubbish lying about. And deforestation. It's a hippie's worse nightmare.

We rode our horses right up to the front gates of Isengard, and were more than pleased at the sight of our hosts. Two very familiar, very lovable hobbits were sitting on the ruins of Isengard's outer wall, their legs swinging off the side, mouths full of sweet foods and pipe-weed smoke. The men of Rohan stopped to stare, clearly surprised to see such tiny beings at a place that once housed a massive army of orcs. Not only that, but I'm sure that most of them have never even seen a hobbit!

"Oy, what do yeh think you're doing?" Gimli exclaimed as the hobbits stood to welcome us. "You had us worried sick, and here you are, smoking without a care in the world!"

"Yeah, and without us!" Collin frowned, throwing an arm in the air.

The hobbits turned to look at our faux-hawked friend with wide, unbelieving eyes. "Collin!" They shouted together, nearly leaping off of the wall to get to their old friend.

Collin slipped off of his horse and braced himself for the group hug of a lifetime.

"We thought you were dead!" Pippin cried as he ran head-first into Collin's legs, knocking him off balance and sending him right onto the muddy ground.

"How are you still here?" Merry asked, joining his friend in the loving Collin dog-pile.

"Disappointed, are we?" Collin laughed, refusing to let the little guys let go, despite the obvious pain that he was receiving from his wounds. I think that he was just pumped that he didn't die for nothing. Heck, even I wanted to jump up and give the guys some lovin'! I missed those two. They're like little miniature Collins.

The hobbits continued to wrestle the laughing man to the ground as the rest of our group watched with small smiles. Of course, though, their patience could not last forever.

"Young hobbits, who is running Isengard?" Gandalf asked, tapping Pippin's back with his staff.

The little guys pushed themselves off of Collin, who was left to pick himself up from the dirt and the leaves that covered the muddy earth.

"That's Treebeard!" Merry chirped, looking quite proud of himself. "Come, he should be around here, somewhere!"

Collin pushed himself off of the ground, all the while picking the leaves out of his hair. "Hey, have you two gotten taller?"

We let the hobbits lead us up to Isengard's tall, black tower. Orthanc, I think it was called. Anyways, it was huge, and it looked like it belonged in some sci-fi, rather than in the middle of a forest. Even so, the tower was the least of my worries.

Trees. Walking, talking, blinking, yawning trees. Their voices were slow, low rumbles, and the ground shook violently with every step they took. Every normal man stared in awe at the mighty creatures as they tread through the mirky waters that grew deeper and deeper as we neared the tower. Of course, Gandalf looked perfectly unimpressed, and Collin looked like he'd just walked into Disneyland. Merry and Pippin held their heads high, proud to have had experience with these mighty beings, while us big people remained surprised. Ents, they called them.

"You'll love Treebeard." I heard Pippin gush to Collin, who was spitting questions out faster than the poor hobbit could answer. "Merry and I spent plenty of time with him, just wandering through the forest. He saved us, you know!"

I was too busy having mini heart attacks to pay any more attention to the conversation being held between my two excitable friends. I am the best friend of the Prince of Mirkwood, close friends with the future King of Gondor as well as the future steward, and I have had the company of various people of very high importance! Dang it, I should be able to handle a couple of animated trees!

I was trying so hard to keep a straight face. I'm determined to make a name for myself in this world. I'm sick of just being the 'friend.' Gosh darn it, I'm going to be important, one day! Important men need to be cool with odd things. But talking trees...?

As we neared the giant needle of a tower, a rather old-looking Ent joined our party. He had this odd grey beard that seemed to mix in perfectly with his bark-like skin, and I could barely hear Pippin proudly whisper to Collin, "That's Treebeard."

"Young master Gandalf!" Treebeard seemed to hum, his voice a low grumble in the wind. "I'm relieved that you've come!"

"Woah..." I heard Collin sigh, and I turned around to see him shooting me a, 'can you believe it?' glance.

"There is a wizard that needs dealing with, locked up in his tower!" Treebeard continued, shooting the tall dark building a somewhat worried glance.

Gandalf nodded, all business. "Be careful with what you may say, companions, and tread carefully. Saruman may be defeated, but he is still very dangerous."

My lip twitched. This prick's the reason we nearly died back at Helms Deep. I couldn't wait to get my hands on him, dangerous or not.

Our horses plodded through the mirky watters, following Gandalf, who was guiding us safely to the ominous tower ahead.

"You should have seen this place before, Collin..." Pippin continued to ramble on to our friend about the adventures that he and Merry had experienced. "Giant holes in the ground, and orcs everywhere! One false step, and we could sink down below! It's a good thing we've got Gandalf to lead us..."

The hobbit grew silent as we finally reached the tower, for a deep voice began to ring from above.

"You have fought many wars and slain many men, Theoden King, and made peace afterwards. Can we not take council as we once did, my old friend? Can we not have peace?"

So this must be Saruman. His form looked rather small from atop his tower, but I could see that he was leaning on his staff, looking down at his conquerors. His voice was deep and elegant, but I don't think that his well-versed words meant much to us, anymore. Especially after Helms Deep.

Theoden looked up to the wizard, whose silver hair was flying about in the cool wind. "We shall have peace..." He began, his face contorted in anger. "We shall have peace, when you answer for the burning of the Westfold, and the children that lie dead there! We shall have peace, when the lives of the soldiers whose body were hewn even as they lay dead against the gates of the Hornburg are avenged! When you hang from a gibbet, for the sport of your own crows, we shall have peace!"

My heart started pounding with anticipation. Let's kick some ass! King Theoden is definitely on my 'hero' list, now. Let's see you try to sway us with your sugared words now, Saruman. Even Theoden's men could hardly conceal their grins.

War turns men into dangerous beings. Dangerous, bloodthirsty beasts, longing for revenge.

I couldn't see Saruman's expression, but I can only assume that it's far from pleased.

"Gibbits and crows? Dotard!" Saruman's voice had gone from nice and sweet to pissed-off cow in no time at all. "What do you want, Gandalf Greyhame? Let me guess. The key of Orthanc? Or perhaps the keys of Barad-Dur itself? Along with the crowns of the seven kings and the rods of the five wizards?"

What is he going on about? We're just here to kill him, is all.

I shot Collin a look as Gandalf began to try to compromise with Saruman, curious as to how he was taking all of this in. He was stone-faced, though, and his eyes were fixed upon the distant wizard. He let out a sigh and shook his head as Gimli yelled.

"I've had enough! Shoot him!" The dwarf nudged Legolas. "Stick an arrow in his gob!"

'I second that!' I wanted to shout, but Gandalf's stern glance to the dwarf made me think otherwise.

"No!" Gandalf motioned for Legolas to lower his bow. "Come down, Saruman!" Again, he pleaded with his old companion, doing his best to get the upperhand. Saruman was too stubborn, though. No matter what Gandalf said, the other wizard just had to fight it. What happened next, though, nearly scared me to death.

Saruman, having heard enough, shot forth a giant flame from his staff. It consumed Gandalf in seconds, and the entire party sat frozen in panic. Our worries were satiated in moments, for Gandalf had emerged unharmed. Instead, he was quite pissed. And that's an understatement.

"Your staff is broken!" Gandalf cried, and the long stick in Saruman's hands turned to dust, and I had to fight the urge to cheer.

As much as Gandalf wanted Saruman to help us out, it just wasn't going to happen. We'd pleaded with him countless times, but he never ceased to turn down our offers of mercy. Finally, a small black figure appeared behind the wizard, catching the eye of Theoden King.

"Grima! Come down!" The king called up the the man behind the wizard in a more civil tone.

Grima? Grima Wormtongue? Oh, I've heard stories about this creep. He's the one who had poisoned the king. The one who ran away once we beat the crap out of his henchmen. Let me tell you, if I get my hands on him, I'll strangle the creep. Nobody creeps on my sister and gets away with it! Not only that, but he's probably the one who gave Saruman the idea to attack Helms Deep. He'd been in Edoras long enough to know how things were run. There's no doubt in my mind that he knew where we would be hinding.

Unfortunately, though, the king seemed to have other plans for him. He asked the dark and weak-looking man to come down, and to rid himself of the wizard that had caused us all so much trouble. By the looks of the man's posture, he seemed to like the idea. His former dreary stance had straightened out into what looked like a more hopeful body language.

We should have suspected that Saruman wouldn't like us messing with his slave. He mocked Rohan, her king, and everyone who's ever called it home. Collin's eyebrows furrowed as Saruman spat out a round of insults, and Theoden's face fell into a frown.

"Grima..." Theoden called up, doing his best to ignore Saruman's poisoned words. "Come down. Be free of him!"

"Free?" Saruman almost laughed. "He will never be free!" The grumpy old wizard turned around and striked Grima across the face, knocking the man down to the ground. I could see Collin wince from the corner of my eye, and the soldiers around us had a look of discomfort on their faces. Saruman had said that Grima would never be free, and I think that those words hit home for most of us. After all, weren't we fighting for our freedom? Freedom from this senseless evil?

"Saruman! You were deep in the enemy's council!" Gandalf tried once more, but even he knew that hope was lost.

Suddenly, amid all of the arguing, Grima's small dark figure rose up from the ground, a knife in hand. The blade went straight into Saruman's back, and the wizard's angry yelling was cut off immediately. Legolas shot an arrow off within seconds, hitting Grima right in the gut. As the dark man fell back, the white wizard fell forward. Saruman's body cartwheeled out of the sky, stopping with the disgusting sound of skin being ripped apart.

Saruman was skewered onto the point of his water-wheel, and blood was beginning to seep through his robes. The hobbits looked away, eyes shut, and a few of the soldiers let out a gasp. The empty eyes of Saruman disappeared as the wheel began to spin, sinking the dead wizard in the water.

Collin let out a sigh, his eyes alternating back and forth between the now bloody waters, and the tower where Grima lay dying. I don't think that anyone hates death as much as that man, even when it's the death of his enemy. If he had it his way, everyone would be spared. Then again, I believe that we all hate this scene. In the end, revenge is what sucks a person into the darkness.

As Collin was mesmerized by what had just happened, Pippin slid off of his horse, his eyes set on a little glow in the water. My friend, thrown back into reality, jumped in after the little guy. "Hey, man! What are you doing? Hobbits can't swim!"

Pippin dived into the water, hopping back up with a large, dark ball in his arms. At this point, Aragorn had taken an interest in the loud splashing sounds being made by our friends. "Collin, what is going on?"

"Bless my bark!" Treebeard, tall enough to see over Collin's head, took a step back after his eyes had found the big glass ball.

"Peregrin Took, bring that here!" Gandalf demanded. "Hurry, now!"

Collin and I watched Pippin with raised eyebrows as he hesitated to give Gandalf the pretty crystal thing. In the end, we looked at each other with what must have looked like expressions from college students on St. Patty's day.

"Let's go get drunk!" He proclaimed with a tired sigh. "I'm sick of all this crap."

(Sophie)

"All hail the victorious dead!" Theoden shouted, glass raised.

"Hail!" We all replied, throwing our mugs up to chug away the first round of ale.

I'd completely forgotten the taste of Rohan's ale. Sweeter than beer, but far manlier than wine. Just how they like it. The taste all but threw me into a reminiscing state for a moment. I thought back to all of the days that Collin and I would spend in the inn, drinking beer and laughing with all of our friends. Back in the early days, Gandalf would leave us here while he ran off to do wizard-y things. Back then, there was this fresh feeling in the air, like it was summer vacation, and one day we would just wake up back home. It was before we got so attatched to the world and all of its inhabitants.

Except for the orcs. No one really cares for the orcs. What's Sauron's deal? Of all things to rule over in this world! You've got Ents, Elves, Hobbits, Dwarves, Men... And he chooses Orcs? The most disgusting creatures on this earth?

Not like it really matters, of course. Either way he's trying to kill us. And so far, he's doing quite well in doing so.

As soon as the king was finished with his speech, the sevants rolled out several barrels full of various ales, wines, and other spirits that are a tad strong for my tastes. Musicians begin to play on violins and flutes, and many of the younger Rohirrim begin to dance. Collin, knowing very well that Eowyn's more of a hostess than a partier, ignores the fact and drags her out for the first dance. Despite her plentiful protests, a smile is plastered on her lips, and she quickly quiets down long enough to enjoy herself for once.

Kristy stood beside me on her toes, trying desperately to find a certain elf among the tall, blonde people of Edoras. A rather helpless cause, considering the fact that I saw Gimli drag the poor elf off just moments ago.

"What are you doing, Kris?" I pulled on her sleeve, begging her to come back down from the clouds. "Forget him, for now! You can see him, later. Go have some fun, ya crazy!"

Before Kristy had time to argue, a grinning Eomer dragged her out for a dance.

That's more like it.

"Would you like to dance?" Boromir asked, rather awkwardly, I might add. I think that he was expecting me to say no.

He guessed right. "Do you want me to break your foot?"

He laughed, running a hand through his hair. "It seems as though we'll have to keep you away from our Gondorian balls..."

That's right, sir! Have the booze sent up to my room. I'm sure that you folks don't know how to party, anyways. Not compared to these people.

.

"Collin... I'm worried about James."

Collin followed my gaze over to where our friend sat haunched over a table, mug of ale in hand, doing his best to ignore the several young Edoras women that were fauning over him. A small smile spread across his lips as he shook his head. "Remember when that was me? Boy, imagine the heartbreak when those girls find out that he's married."

"To an elf, of all things." Boromir nodded, scanning the room with his eyes. "It has been quite some time since I've been to Edoras. I'd almost forgotten how cheery they could be."

You're telling me! I used to live here! "I wouldn't have minded living in Rohan for the rest of my life, had I not already sold my soul to Gondor." Boromir laughed a little at this, knowing that I was referring to marrying him. "I would ask you your opinion, Boromir, but I already know your answer. So, what about you, Collin? Now that you've got your life back, where do you plan on going?"

Collin shrugged, taking another swig of whatever spirit he'd chosen to drink tonight. "Dunno. Supposing we surivive all of this, that is... I'm not entirely sure. All of my friends are getting married, all of the elves are leaving... Eomer and I can't be life-long bachelors together, anymore, now that he's going to be king... I dunno! I'm confused as to whether or not my options are wide open or completely limited. I mean, I've got no money."

"Nonsense, brother!" Boromir laughed, giving Collin a hard pat on the back. "If we survive this, you will be a hero in all lands. Kings will throw their daughters at your feet, and noblemen will fight with one another to sponsor you in whatever conquest you see fit for the moment. If we survive this, your life will be set. You've already made friends in Gondor, why not stay there?"

Yeah, why not stay there? I mean... I don't want to appear selfish or anything, but... I don't want Collin going anywhere if I can't follow. I may be getting married, but Collin's still my best friend, and I can't even begin to imagine life without him. It'd be harder to adapt to than it was to adapt to this world's plumming system...

At that moment, James scurried up, looking over his shoulder to make sure that he wasn't followed. "These women are frightening me, you guys..."

"Do they know you're married?" Collin asked, eyebrow raised.

James's eyes lit up, and a goofy smile crossed over his lips. "That's a great idea! I didn't think about that!" Then, he ran off once more.

Boromir sighed. "I'd better follow him. I believe that he's had too much ale..."

Once he was gone, I turned to Collin with a raised eyebrow. "What do you mean by, 'supposing we survive all this?' Don't you think we can win?"

"Oh, I'm sure we can!" He shrugged. "The good guys always win. We have something worth fighting for, you know. It's like in Harry Potter. Voldemort was just plain mean. He didn't really have anything to fight for. Kind of like Sauron! What's he going to do after all of this? Sit around and kick at rocks? No, I don't think that he's really going for it. If we were gone, he'd have no one to mess with. He's just a big bully, is all."

Makes sense. Like I said, who would want to live in a world of orcs? Not me!

"He may be a bully, but most bullies don't have posessed rings or armies of gross poops."

"That is true!"

Hmm... "Did you mean what you said, Collin? That you don't know where you want to go?"

He gave me a small smile. "Don't worry, Soph. I'm sure living without me won't be that bad."

But it will be! Sigh...

Wait a minute. "I have something for you!"

"You do?"

"Yes!" I grabbed his hand and dragged him through the crowd of drunk dancers. "You're gonna love me!"

"But I already do love you!" He laughed, but I continued to drag him.

I led him to my room and flung the door open.

"Sophie, your room's a mess!"

"Oh, shut up..." I dropped to the ground and opened the chest at the foot of my bed. There it was! "Aha!" I pulled the camera out of its bag and jumped back to my feet.

At the sight of his old Camera, Collin's eyes widened. "Sophie! You held onto it all this time?"

I smiled, nodding. "Of course I did! I even brought your journal. But don't worry! I haven't read it. It's sitting at the bottom of your camera case." Even though it was tempting to read... "I even kept on filming stuff for you. It's not the best of quality, but... You know. I just thought that I might as well carry on your legacy."

Collin took the camera from my hands and gave me a smile. "Thank you, Soph. It means a lot. I thought it'd be lost forever." He examined it, pleased to see that it was scratch-free. "It's weird, isn't it? This is the last thing we've got from our world. We wouldn't be able to fit into our old clothes, now. I've gotten buff, and... Well... Your boobs have gotten bigger."

"Hey!"

"I'm a man, Sophie! Don't think that I haven't noticed!" He laughed, shaking his head. "Ahh, well. I suppose we should be getting back to the party, then? I'd hate to miss the chance to film some of this stuff. D'you think that the hobbits would do another dance for us?"

Oh, Collin. They're drunk. They'll do anything.

Sorry for the long wait for this chapter! It's not oober exciting or anything, just a filler.