Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any characters

Kaname…why, Kaname? Why do you feel like you can't talk to me about what you're going through? Did you think you would lose me? Did you not realize that nothing in the world would have ever made me leave you?

Somehow, though, I never truly trusted that you would never leave me. I suppose that even after I became a vampire, some part of me still thought that there was no way you could ever truly be mine…that distance I felt whenever I'd admire you from afar and wistfully imagine you were mine never truly disappeared from my heart…

Was that it, Kaname? Did you feel that same distance wedging its way between us? Did you feel my insecurity? Did my own insecurity make you insecure as well? Did you not realize how much I truly wanted to be with you…how much I truly was yours...because I never wholly realized how much you were truly mine?

Or did you not love me the same way I love you? Did you not feel like nothing in the world could keep you away from me…not even your own insecurity?

Did you never truly forget your first love? The one you had to give up so long ago…

You are my first love, Kaname, so I know…I know what that pure and innocent bond feels like. But like you…I have another love…a love I just can't seem to shed my attachment of…

How can you love someone so much and yet…and yet be severed from them because of silly and ambiguous feelings for another?

Is that you view your feelings toward me, Kaname? Silly and ambiguous…coming with a certain desperation to love someone else because you're so afraid of ultimately winding up lonely…

I was so afraid that I'd never be able to have you that I found myself clinging to another…I found myself falling for Zero only after I realized his feelings for me because in my heart that I thought Zero would never have abandoned…

He never would have abandoned Yuki Cross…

But, you, Kaname, have blatantly gone and abandoned me…you weren't safe enough, so my heart sought that security in fantasy that ended before it even began.

Is that really all I am to you, too? Am I merely your back-up plan?

…

And if my feelings for Zero are based on a desperate lie and a desperate need to be love then why…why do I still love him this much?

Yuki's tears splashed into the dish water and she planted her hands on either side of the sink and began to fiercely cry. She had snuck into the Headmaster's house late into the night, sometime after all the other students had left and the police cars had driven away from the front of the campus. She'd spent much the night pacing around the house in the dark, terrified that their plan wasn't going to work. She thought Kaname was going to see right through it. When the sun finally came up and she saw the house work that had been neglected since the Headmaster had been arrested, she thought it her responsibility to do the chores.

I'll wash you dry, okay, Yuki?
Sure, Zero…

Yuki's nanny had passed on a short while before Zero had come to live with her and the Headmaster. The Headmaster had wanted to look for a replacement, but Yuki had insisted it wasn't necessary. She was old enough by then to stay home alone if she had to and help out with chores. She had also felt that replacing her nanny would have been much like replacing her mother. That woman had been the only mother Yuki had ever truly known.

Zero had been quiet and obedient when he first came to live with the Crosses. Whenever the Headmaster asked him to do something, he simply did it. So, doing chores together became a natural part of Yuki and Zero's daily routine. Even when they had gone to high school and had been allowed to move into the dorms, they still found themselves spending a lot of time together at their childhood home.

Yuki felt so strange and so lonely just then without Zero there to help her. She thought about all the few times she'd had to do the dishes alone and realized that Zero had been there more often than not.

If my feelings for Zero are based on a desperate lie and a desperate need to be love then why…why do I still love him this much?

"Yuki! Yuki, we're home, where are you?"

Yuki jerked her head up upon hearing the Headmaster's voice and made a mad dash into the living room to greet him.

"Well hello there," The Headmaster smiled upon seeing the look of relieved surprise on Yuki's faced.

"Headmaster, Zero!" Yuki cried and found herself running to Zero without even thinking. She placed her hands on Zero's stomach and gasped, "How did you get out of jail?"

"Serine came and bailed us out," Zero stated.

"Serine? Really?" Yuki cried. "Where is she now?"

"I don't know," Zero said. "Given the current circumstances, we just decided to let her go."

"I see," Yuki replied. She looked down, then, too ashamed to look Zero in the eye as she whispered, "I am so sorry all this happened. I never thought the police would get involved."

"It's fine," Zero insisted. "I was the one who fired those shots that those day class girls who were spying on the Night Class heard, so if it's anyone's fault, it's mine…"

"If you want Kaname to come running back here, then all you have to do is die, Yuki Cross!" Aidou yelled as he pinned Yuki up against the main door of the Night Class dormitory. Ice formed up Yuki's legs, all way up her back, and around her arms and shoulders. Zero ripped the Bloody Rose from his jacket and aimed it directly at Aidou's head.

"Hanabusa, let her go!" Zero demanded. "Or I will take you down!

"What do you care, Zero?" Aidou sneered, turning his gaze towards Zero. "You said that you wanted all Purebloods dead, so I'd say I'm doing you favor by killing this girl."

"I…" Zero sputtered as he realized that what Aidou was saying was true. Zero should have wanted Yuki Kuran dead just as much as he wanted any vampire dead. He couldn't believe that he would grow so attached to a Pureblood that he would actually find himself defending their life. He shouted, "I don't want to happen like this!"

"Like what?" Aidou demanded. "If you want the satisfaction for yourself, then go on then…I can tell that Bloody Rose is just dying to put a bullet in this evil Pureblood's heart."

"There is no order from the Association to kill this Pureblood," Zero stated.

"Well, lucky for me, I don't follow the orders of that damn Association," Aidou said.

Shiki spoke, "What do you honestly intend to, Hanabusa? It's not like you can handle an anti-vampire gun. And even if we were to stand here why you tried to beat her black and blue or even tried to drink every last drop of her blood, you still wouldn't be able to actually kill her."

"Damn," Aidou whispered. He stepped back a few feet. Yuki meanwhile melted the ice that was restricting her limbs. Aidou said, "Do you have any idea what I'm going through, Yuki? I miss my father so much and yet…yet I still can't hate Lord Kaname…and I hate myself for that! But even so, I want nothing more than for Lord Kaname to come back."

"I want him to come back too," Yuki said. "I understand exactly how you feel, Aidou."

"No, you don't understand, because you can't possibly understand how I feel about Lord Kaname!" Aidou shouted. "You have no idea how you can love someone so much and yet not actually be in love with them. How do you…how do you even define something like that?"

Love someone…without actually being in love with them?

"You know, Aidou, maybe you're right," Zero spoke, still holding the Bloody Rose by his side. "Maybe the only to make Kaname come back is for Yuki to die."

Rima muttered, "Don't tell me you're so desperate to complete your mission that you would actually kill her after all."

Kill her…? Zero's right hand shook at the very thought.

"No, that's not what I had mind," Zero said. "I was thinking more along the lines of faking her death than actually killing her."

"How the hell do you intend to pull that off?" Aidou demanded.

"Simple…we cause a scene, right here, right now, and report it as a murder." Zero said. "I'll bet you anything there are day class girls skulking around the Moon Dorm as we speak. If they were to hear a couple of gunshots, then they'd surely stir up a scene."

"Then what?" Aidou sneered. "You confess to her murder?"

"No, you do," Zero replied.

"Me?" Aidou cried.

"Sure. You said you wanted him to come back. And who do you think Kaname will come running back to?" Zero questioned.

"The person who murders Yuki," Aidou realized, then blurted, "But that'll never work! You heard what Shiki just said! Kaname wouldn't be dumb enough to believe that I could actually kill her either!"

"We'll just see," Zero murmured and lifted the Bloody Rose.

"Zero! Don't!" Yuki cried as the first shot sounded. She grabbed Zero's left arm as Aidou fell to his knees as the bullet pierced his right shin.

"You bas—

The second shot drowned Aidou out in the precious moment that Zero took to fire it before Yuki managed to grab the handle of the Bloody Rose and managed to redirect its aim to ceiling. The bullet went directly into Aidou's shoulder.

"Let's get our story straight for when people start asking," Zero said coolly, as his fingers and Yuki's remained wrapped around the Bloody Rose, which was still pointed at the ceiling. "Aidou attacked Yuki with a knife. He pierced her heart. I attempted to take him out, but I was too late…"

Aidou, gasping and pain, gritted his teeth and look over to the table where the dirty dishes from their last meal still remained unattended to. Six knives lay scattered about as well. Aidou thought about how he'd passed by that table on his way to Yuki. Although he hadn't been contemplating murder in those moments, he still couldn't believe how close he'd come to having a true opportunity to kill Yuki Cross.

"It's my fault, Yuki," Zero insisted. "Please don't feel that you are the one to blame in any of this."

Maybe I didn't have a direct hand in anything that happened yesterday, but…there's still so much that I'm to blame for…how could I have been so selfish?

"Please don't cry," Zero whispered and wiped the tears from Yuki's eyes. "Kaname is coming back very soon…I promise."

Yuki looked up into Zero's and thought, how do you love someone so much without actually being in love with them?

Zero spoke, "If you don't mind, I'd like to go lay down for a little while. I had a bit of a rough night."

"Right, of course," Yuki replied and stepped out of Zero's way so that he could make his way toward his bedroom. She felt a sharp pain in heart as she watched Zero enter his room.

The Headmaster spoke, "Well, I suppose all we do from here is wait for Kaname to show up."
"Yeah," Yuki choked, wishing for nothing more than for Kaname to take the bait so she could finally put an end to all and save Zero. Perhaps the only thing she did wish for was for there to be another way.

Kaname, you asked me to kill should I ever intend to abandon you. I promise, I will fulfill your final wish before I fulfill my final wish to save somebody that I caused so much pain.

I won't cause you the same pain, Kaname. I won't ever abandon you, even if you have abandoned me. I won't abandon you even in death…

"My Lord…"

"Yes…?"

"The Association is planning to lure you to Cross Academy by sending news of Lady Yuki's recent death."

"I take it Yuki is just fine, then?"

"Yes, of course…"

"Thank you. That helps me out considerably. I am so relieved to have you back… Serine."

"I will be forever loyal to you…Lord Kaname…"