I stood in the MRI suite, decked out in a blue lead jacket, holding onto Meredith's foot. Bailey and Nelson had refused to let me in the viewing room, so I had settled for holding Meredith's foot. She had fallen asleep on the ride from the ICU to radiology. So I stood, absentmindedly rubbing circles on the arch of her foot, left with my own thoughts and the clanging of the MRI machine. My mind stopped swirling when the clanging stopped, and Meredith's still sleeping form rolled out on the tray in front of me. The door swung open and Bailey walked in with a few orderlies and an unreadable expression.
"Is she okay?" I jumped right to the point. Bailey rolled her eyes at me.
"Legally I'm not allowed to tell you that." She said as she took the lead jacket from me.
"But I have her Power of Attorney." I argued. "And I'm her husband."
"Well if you'd been acting more like her damn husband I might be more inclined to tell you. But for now you don't get to know. At least, until she wakes up, because I assume you'll be glued to her bedside like a sick puppy." Bailey huffed as she helped the orderlies transfer Meredith to the gurney. I moved to the side of the gurney, firmly grasping her hand and squeezing it gently. Bailey finished fiddling with the I.V. before turning and giving me a serious look.
"She'll be okay Derek." Bailey nodded then motioned to the orderlies to begin moving, leaving me to walk alongside the gurney and determine the meaning of Bailey's words.
It wasn't long after Meredith was resettled in her room in the ICU that she began to stir again. I immediately paged Bailey out of desperation to understand exactly what was going wrong in Meredith's brain. As soon as the page was sent I turned my attention back to the sleeping woman in the bed. Her eyes opened and drank in her surroundings before her gaze met mine.
"Hey" I said reaching out and brushing away a few loose strands of hair. "How are you feeling?"
"I...I...mm head-ache." She mumbled blinking a few times. I immediately reached for the button on the PCA pump to administer more morphine. Just then Bailey walked in. Meredith didn't waste a second "Wha...What's wrong... with..?" Bailey immediately grabbed the scans from Meredith's chart and handed them to her.
"See for yourself."
"Dr. Bailey I don't-" I began to interject out of fear for aggravating Meredith's headache.
"Hush you." She ordered, holding up a finger to silence me while Meredith studied her brain scan. I craned my neck to see the scans Meredith held. But before I could make out anything Meredith's pinky finger travelled to to a dark spot, about the size of a dime, in the left side of her frontal lobe. It was sitting precariously on the line of Broca's area and the M1 motor cortex. I had seen these types of injuries before and felt a huge sense of relief knowing that this is something people recover from with time and a little effort. But even knowing this I still clung to every word Bailey spoke.
"Basically blood pooled and clotted in the area of your brain that controls the muscle memory of your tongue." Bailey explained in patient talk. Even if Meredith was a doctor, she was still recovering from brain surgery and she didn't have the energy to process medical jargon into English. "It will take some time to heal. Once we can trust you in a regular room, we'll have someone from speech come up and evaluate you." Bailey finished and Meredith nodded halfheartedly, the drugs from earlier kicking in. I however, still have something to ask.
"She was suffering from aphasia, earlier, she couldn't think of the word she wanted to say." Meredith gave me a confused look like she didn't remember what I'm talking about. Which, between the drugs and the cranial injury, wouldn't surprise me if she didn't. Bailey gave me a sympathetic nod.
"That's expected. That will probably go away too. And even still it should only be mild. Like I said Derek, she'll be okay." Bailey gave us one final nod before she left the room. I turned my attention back to Meredith who was blinking sleepily and staring at me. I started running my hand through her hair absentmindedly. Meredith kept staring at me. Her mouth opened a few times, like she wanted to say something but she kept stopping herself and closing her mouth. I had to keep reminding myself not to push,that it wasn't that she didn't want to say something she just couldn't
"C-Come.." She motioned to the side of the bed and gave me a pleading look. I nodded and stood up.
"You want me to lie down with you?" I asked as she painstakingly moved to the other side of the bed.
"Mhmm." She mumbled, her eyes falling closed with exhaustion. I made quick work of lying down beside Meredith and gently wrapping my arms around her torso, mindful of her incisions. Her head fell on my chest and her soft snores filled the room. I smiled and gently kissed the top of her head.
I didn't sleep at all in the entire time I laid crammed in the small hospital bed. Despite the lack of feeling in my feet and Meredith drooling on me, there was no place I'd rather be. Richard had stopped by briefly, and before I could open my mouth to ask for time off, Richard had assured me everything was taken care I laid in the bed with Meredith while she slept. I stroked her hair and attempted to untangle some of the knots that had formed from lack of attention with my fingers. A few people stopped to check up on Meredith and give their well wishes. Nurses came through every fifteen minutes or so check her vitals. I barely moved. That was until she started to squirm. I could tell by the way her eyes moved behind her eyelids she was dreaming. She mumbled something incoherent bit as the syllables morphed into words I felt a hand wrap around my heart and squeeze mercilessly.
"Zo...Zola...p-p-please...I...mama's...soo...Der...Derek...DEREK."
"Meredith" I whispered gently shaking her gently, desperately trying to wake her up. "Meredith wake up."
"No...I I...I'm...I can...can do...better...p-p-please." At this point her monitors were starting to blare and she was really thrashing. She was going to hurt herself.
"Meredith." I yelled grasping both her shoulders, my face centimeters from hers. Finally her eyes snapped open, tearful and terrified. "Hey" I whispered.
"I-I'm so...sssoo...ssorry." She whispered, tears streaming down her face. I cupped her face and pecked her lips. I snaked my arms around her torso and pulled her into my chest.
"It's okay. I'm not mad. It's okay I promise." I soothed into her hair. She continued to cry on my shoulder, her tears staining my scrub top. I continued rocking her back and forth until I realized what a big hole I'd dug myself into.
A/N So that took a little longer than expected. I'm sorry but in my defense, I found a REALLY GOOD book. Like seriously my family had to make sure I hadn't died. Befpre anything else I FIXED IT (kind of) MEREDITH WILL BE OKAY DO NOT WORRY. Anyway I tries to make this chapter longer and honestly it was longer in my head. Also to clear a few things up first of I changed how Meredith is speaking and updated the previous chapter, so that it's coherent words. You just have to use your imagination a little. Also aphasia, in simple terms, is having a hard time finding and correctly using words. I found want read a really good example go check out Reclaim by AriaAridago. It should be listed in my favorite stories. Also I've started a new one shot series called Forgotten Conversations check that out. Also I've posted a poll I'd really appreciate your feedback on. Lastly I know I owe you a Tables are Turned. I will get to that it's just not on my top list of priorities right now. Thanks for reading and please review!