Thank you BobtheFrog for the review! Originally I had planned that Marie was going to kill the man, and it would be a secret. But realistically I don't think that would've worked out, plus the little moment with Malarkey seemed to work well. She really is! It's a shame that PTSD studies didn't come to be until after the war (the term PTSD wasn't even invented yet!) so many soldiers really didn't receive the help they need when they were discharged. I agree with you!
Thank you Jeni for the review! Wow! Your kind words were so inspirational and brought a smile to my face! And yes, I admit it; I am a very cruel author! Your review means more to me than I can explain! And don't worry; your English sounds fine :)
Thank you drovingallday96 for the review! I think everyone in general is glad Marie didn't pull the trigger, although I originally had a different outcome plan, I think everything worked out for the better. It wasn't all Sink's fault, and it was for their mental health (but trust me, I rather her stay with the boys!) I think the next chapter will answer all your questions!
Thank you MASHlover23 for the review! I'm happy she didn't kill him; too, it came out better that way. I can't believe this story is so close to its conclusion! It makes me emotional just thinking about it!
Thank you LauRa-ReaDinG-XoX for the review! Everything will be answered in the next chapter! It's hard to believe that all the events are going to finally be boiled down to one chapter! Stay tuned!
Thank you tigerroar9 for the review! There are only two more chapters left, so I don't think it's going to get much happier, although hopefully it'll be more uplifting than the last few chapters. Thank you for your encouraging words :)
Thank you torral11 for the story favorite, follow, and for adding me as a favorite author! Wow!
Thank you mngirl for the review! I know, the poor thing never catches a break. This chapter will reveal all, so be prepared! Thanks for your kind words :)
Thank you AccioAlly-AccioAlly for the story follow and favorite!
Thank you seeingthroughtheblack for the story follow!
Thank you LondonGirlxXx for the story follow and favorite!
Thank you for all the favorites, follows, and reviews and encouraging words that I update sooner. I'm sorry it's taken me so long! Here we go, second to last chapter! I can't believe how close to the end this story is, I was getting emotional just writing it! Please enjoy…
The kraut hospital seemed more compact and more dingy than usual; Marie suspected her mood played to her surroundings. Abernathy flipped through the discharge papers, scanning each word and shaking he head as a faint, sad smile traced her lips. Her hair was extra frizzy and uncombed, and her eyes appeared to have permanent purple circles smudged underneath. She looked like she'd been through hell, and in all actuality she had. Marie sat on her hospital cot, waiting for her to speak as the tiny room's atmosphere became more and more dense. Marie tried to keep her eyes trained on anything to distract her, but instead she found an old, silver speculum placed beside the cot in a bin, waiting to be sterilized after use. This only made her uneasier, thinking about the added trauma that must've happened in this very room as Abernathy arrived.
"I reckoned you'd be getting this, I just got my papers this morning." Abernathy sighed, handing the papers back to Marie.
Marie looked down at the cot sheets, still feeling deeply shaken from Sink's news. It was still hard to believe that she'd be leaving Easy Company for good. She felt almost as if she was suspended in a state of unreality, but the longer time ticked on, the more she knew it was real.
"It's probably for the best." Abernathy added, her voice surprisingly unfaltering.
"I let everyone down, Abbie." Marie replied, her eyes still downcast in shame. "I've become unfit to perform my duties as a soldier, just like the paper states. I've ruined the opportunity of women joining the front. Maybe even forever."
"Not forever, don't be so hard on yourself." Abernathy reached out and clutched Marie's hand. "Just for a little while."
"Decades, maybe even centuries."
Abernathy shook her head. "It wasn't just you. Causalities happened to the men, too. You know Colonel Sink was pressured to do this because we're women. The statistics are faulty, because only seven women were accepted. Don't blame yourself." Marie placed her papers harshly aside, feeling frustrated and helpless. She wanted nothing more than to crumble them up and throw them away. Abernathy was right, and she knew that there was nothing she could do about it. It hurt too much to even consider leaving Malarkey and Easy Company.
"What am I going to tell Don?" She whispered weakly, her voice too constricted even muttering that sentence.
"Tell him the truth. It's not the end of the world." Abernathy rationalized. "Maybe he already knows, I'm sure Speirs received the memorandum already."
Marie stood up, and paced around the cot. "How can I do that, when I'm not even brave enough to tell him about the miscarriage?"
Abernathy's mouth dropped open. "You still haven't told him? Marie…" Marie waved her hands in dismissal of her words, unable to look at her and face the truth. "You have to tell him, you can't just leave and keep that secret."
"What am I gonna say to him? 'I'm leaving in a couple days back to the States forever, oh, and a few months ago I was pregnant but the baby didn't make it.' Yeah, that'll go over real well. He'd never want to speak to me again, and that is not how I wanna say goodbye!"
Abernathy sighed, appearing to be almost disappointed in Marie. "He has a right to know."
Marie felt dizzy, as if the room was going to come crashing down on her. She planned out what she would tell him in her head many times, but the conversations always ended with the worst case scenario. Marie's breathing became labored as grief slowly started to creep up and blind her. She turned slowly to face Abernathy, looking so pitiful that Abernathy couldn't help but frown and return her equally sullen look. She hastily wiped her nose, swallowing hard as Abernathy kept her gaze steadied on the sergeant.
"I can't…" Marie rasped.
"You have to. If you can't say it aloud, then write it down."
Writing the truth down felt a lot less intimidating than saying them aloud, Marie had to admit. She nodded, silently agreeing with her withered friend. Abernathy still had her journal that she occasionally scribbled in; she ripped out a paper for Marie and gave her a pencil. Marie was reluctant to reach for the items, already getting cold feet about the entire idea. Abernathy coaxed her to take them, stretching out her arms as fair as she could. Marie sat down and pressed the back of the paper to Abernathy's journal, eventually willing herself to write down the dreaded words she'd been holding in for months.
'I'm so sorry I never told you, Don. I love you so much, and yet I am still so afraid. That time you saw me all bloody at Eagle's Nest wasn't from my period – I'm sorry. I was pregnant and lost the child. I understand if you never want to speak to me again.'
That was all Marie could manage. Tears had blurred her vision too much for her to continue on. She folded up the paper with shaky hands, and stuffed it in one of her BDU pockets. She glanced back at Abernathy for approval, and she nodded solemnly to the sergeant. Even after writing that down, no relief came to Marie.
"Feel better?" Abernathy asked.
"No." Marie admitted. "I still have to give the note to Don, tell the company we're leaving, and I don't even know what I'm going to do when I'm home." Home. That word seemed so foreign as she said it. It frightened Marie thinking about going back to her yellow house in Georgia; going back to being a regular nurse in a hospital; acting like a 'normal' girl again. Her sister and her father will be shocked by how much she changed, hell her brother was even taken aback when he saw her in that bar.
Abernathy's head dropped slightly. "I don't even have a home to return to."
Marie recalled Abernathy telling her how her parents had disowned her after she enlisted. This struck Marie, she felt so much sorrow for her poor friend. Too much has happened to this young woman in such a short time.
"You can come and live with me." The words flew out of Marie's mouth.
Abernathy seemed a little startled by her proposal. "I-I couldn't impose-"
"My father won't mind, I guarantee you. I can't let you go back to the States without a home."
Abernathy chuckled slightly, although there wasn't much humor to the tone. "Well, I guess that solves one dilemma."
Tomorrow was the day, the day Marie dreaded more then anything she'd experienced in this whole damned war. She slowly packed her footlocker, discarding things that she knew she wouldn't need when she returned home. Marie wore her dress greens, ready to attend one last get together before her and Abernathy shipped out for good. Her movements were robotic and slow as she folded her BDU's, checked her medical supplies, and made her bed. She felt drunk on disillusion as she continued to scan the room and make sure she didn't leave any necessities behind. This fucking party was supposed to be a joyous event, instead it was her only time to tell Easy Company that she'd been discharged and was leaving for home tomorrow morning. How the hell was she going to tell her dearest friends in the world that there was a good chance she'd never see them again?
She clutched her gut, nearly wrinkling her clean dress greens as the thought shot a sharp pain through her body. Marie thought of Abernathy, having to spend her last day in the kraut hospital, her belongings already packed and placed in her dank, tiny room. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair at all. The war was over and everyone was supposed to be filled with glee, but instead she was being sent home prematurely, leaving behind her family and her lover. Nothing played out how she originally intended, but that was war for you. She slammed her fist down onto her room's nightstand, feeling satisfied by the pathetic creaking sound it made, almost in retort. She slammed her fist down again, this time feeling pain rebound from the wooden surface.
"You stupid, fucking table. You're nothing compared to what's going on in this big, shitty world." She gave one of the nightstand legs a kick with the side of her foot. "You're lucky you don't feel anything, I would give anything to be numb again. Times were simpler back then." Marie shook her head, feeling ridiculous that she was actually trying to have a conversation with an inanimate object. "Oh well, not like I can talk to anybody else about this."
Someone knocked on Marie's door, startling her from her one-sided conversation. Marie slowly opened the door, seeing Talbert standing outside it. He was also in his dress greens, but he looked grey and deeply depressed as he usually did nowadays.
"Floyd?" She was surprised to see him.
He glanced curiously behind her, seeing that she had packed up most of her belongings. She swallowed, her throat visibly bobbing, knowing what he was going to ask. She wished that this wasn't so hard for her.
"I just came by to let you know that I've resigned as a staff sergeant." Tab told her, his grey-blue eyes still lingering on her packed footlocker.
Marie furrowed her brow. "Why?"
Tab sighed heavily, as if the rank of sergeant had been an awful burden for him. "I wanted a demotion. I couldn't do it anymore, Marie. Easy Company is starting to split up, and I'm worn out."
Marie nodded, understanding where he was coming from. "I've got some news to tell you, too." She attentively gripped her forearm, feeling just as nervous as she was at the hospital just thinking about her delivery of news. "Harper and I have been discharged and are headed back to the States in the morning."
Tab appeared astonished by the news, his eyes widened as a spark of life seemed to return to them. But just as easily as it had come, it had faded. "Oh…" He replied lamely.
"I'm going to tell everyone at the gathering this afternoon. Lord knows how I'm going to break the news to Malarkey." She instinctively placed her hand on her side pocket, which held the note she had written in the hospital. Though it was paper, it felt like it weighed ten pounds. Tab placed a succoring hand on her shoulder. The soothing gesture made tears threaten to prick at her eyes, making her instantly feel agitated. She had to avert her eyes, instead staring at the stripes tailored to the front of his uniform.
"What are you going to do when you get home?" He asked.
"I think I'm going to travel to Miami and visit Emilia's parents." She answered honestly, it was something she'd been contemplating on doing since that dreadful day in January. "It just… feels like the right thing to do."
Tab's face became even grimmer as he acknowledged her words. "I was planning on that, too, but I don't even know what I'm going to say to her family." He looked at her helplessly.
Marie took his hand, it felt like ice against her own flesh as she incased it in hers. "They would love to meet you, Floyd, I know it."
It was Tab that averted his eyes this time, and she could see his eyes become glassy. He didn't try to hold back the tears, and soon after Marie started to cry along with him. It was a silent cry, the only thing heard between the two soldiers were sniffles.
The two embraced each other, knowing that this was a mixture between a 'goodbye' and a way to balance out their bottled feelings. The two released, both wiping their eyes, straightening their caps, and trying to look dignified as if they didn't just break down. Tab saluted her briskly, and Marie did so back, feeling her emotions wanting to break free once again.
"It's been an honor serving with you, Sergeant Docherty."
"Likewise, Sergeant Talbert. I'm so glad I met you."
As Marie arrived, she felt reclusive and didn't want to mingle with anybody. The party was being held in a nice garden area, filled with green and flowers as soldiers talked politely amongst themselves, sipping fine wine from a glass. Marie's stomach churned with mounting anticipation as to how she was going to announce her and Abernathy's departure. She hated leaving the men behind when there was still a war raging in the Pacific. She just prayed they got some decent replacements that wouldn't screw up once they landed on the beaches of Japan.
She scanned the area, looking for Malarkey so she could deliver the news to him first. She thought that it would soften the blow for the both of them, although she dreaded his reaction more than anyone else's in the company. As she slowly walked through the gathering, Lipton came up to see her, smiling in greeting. She studied him for a minute, seeing that it was rare for Lip to be in his dress greens. Carwood Lipton was one of those kids that were forced to grow up too fast. His father had been snatched away from him at the young age of ten, and his mother was left paralyzed from the waist down. Lip's nurturing nature had allowed him to haul the responsibility of his family onto his shoulders – and he never mumbled a single complaint. He'd always been a man of a few words. As Marie looked at him it was hard to accept that he was nearly the same age as her. His skin was rough and weathered, his kind eyes drawn heavily with crow's feet, his hairline was already receding. This man hadn't only become one of her best friends in Easy, he was a surrogate father to her.
Lipton noticed how she looked at him and he cocked a confused eyebrow at her. "Everything okay?" He questioned.
Marie smiled thinly, ready to tell him the news she had told Talbert just a couple hours ago. "Not really." She admitted.
Lipton looked disheartened by her answer, and she knew then that he had some news that was equally as bad as hers. He motioned for her to follow him, and she sulkily obeyed, afraid as to where he was going to lead her. He talked to her about Easy Company and future plans, the guests of this party, the weather, although Marie was far too preoccupied in her thoughts to pay attention. He stopped, looking straight ahead at someone, and she followed his eyes to find Winters talking intently to Malarkey.
"So it's an airborne exhibition, they have one of every Allied combat plane they've used in the war." Winters went on explaining to the red head.
"Uh-huh, I mean, yes sir."
"You'll be like a technical advisor, make sure they get everything right."
"I understand, sir." Malarkey stated, appearing content.
"Sorry it's not a more hospitable location."
Malarkey grinned. "No, sir, Paris is just fine. If you need me to go, someone has to be there."
Winters smiled. " Yeah we do, we absolutely do. And your drive will drop off at a hotel of your choice. And m, I don't think we'll see you back here anytime soon."
Malarkey pondering Winters' words for a moment, almost as if he was hesitant to answer. "I won't let you down, sir." Malarkey saluted, and shook the Major's hand.
Winters noticed Lipton and Marie watching, and nodded in their direction. He gave Marie an apologetic smile as if he knew about everything going on. Lipton nudged for Marie to go ahead and discuss things with Malarkey. Malarkey had spotted her now, and gave her a slightly dismal smile. The timing of everything was just so bad; the two of them were just talking about the future and now both were being discharged and moved out of Easy Company. The two lovers walked toward the corner of a stone building to get some privacy, neither speaking a word to each other at first.
"So, I sure you heard I'm being reassigned. The 506th is about to be deactivated…" Malarkey started, his voice so quiet Marie could barely hear him.
"You're leaving, then." Marie replied, duly. It was almost unbearable to look at Malarkey and tell him her side of the news. He smiled patiently at her as she averted her eyes, observing the rest of the party. She drew her anxious eyes back to him. He looked so handsome in his dress greens. His red hair combed and parted to the side, his face clean of any stubble, his affectionate eyes as dark as ink. She knew part of him was excited to leave for Paris, hell it was better than Japan, but what he didn't know was there was no way she could join him.
Marie swallowed, feeling as if her saliva was going to clump together in her throat. Christ Marie, just tell him and get it over with. She thought to herself, it was better to just let it out then beat around the bush.
"I've been discharged and I must leave tomorrow. It's an order." Marie blurted.
Nice one. You could've sounded less cold, Marie. Hi-ho fuckin' silver.
Malarkey furrowed his brow. "What?" He seemed utterly baffled.
Marie cursed herself as she felt the heaviness of tears form once again behind her eyes. "Sink is discontinuing with female paratroopers. I have to go home." Marie felt the note she had written poke and prod in her pocket, practically begging to be read.
"But…" Malarkey glanced away, his hand now covering his mouth as he processed the news.
"It'll be okay, I'm sure you'll be right behind Abbie and I." Marie quickly added.
Who am I trying to kid?
"It's for the best." She continued, unable to stop her rambling and a tear from dripping down her cheek. "You can go to Paris, then you'll be back in Oregon before you know it. You can finish your degree, and mend things with Bernice."
He looked stung by her words. Marie realized that it sounded like she was ending it, but it felt like the end even without her stupid mouth running itself. They were going separate ways, and the Army was going to make sure to keep them apart. The Army wanted the female paratroopers home as soon as possible so they could sweep the statistically low success rate of the trial.
"So, that's it then?" Malarkey finally said.
The finality of his words might as well been daggers. "Only for a little while, I mean, we'll see each other again, right?" Marie replied, hoping they were able to keep in touch.
Malarkey pulled her into a suffocating hug. She clung to him desperately, wishing to gather up as much as she could before she had to depart. The man she had lived with, fought with, and loved for the past three years would be going separate ways. She hated goodbyes, always had, but this one was by far the most painful one she'd ever experienced in her life. She still had to tell the rest of the company, too, but after this she didn't think she could handle it. They pulled apart reluctantly, the two of them never wanting to let go. Marie reached in her pocket and pulled out the folded paper before she forgot and handed it to him.
"Promise me you'll read this after the party." She instructed in an uneven voice.
Malarkey nodded, looking confused by the paper, but he didn't question it. He reached out for her hand and held it, which only felt as if her heartstrings were going to be ripped in half.
"Now I have to tell the rest of the company the news." Marie muttered, looking at the peaceful and cheery faces of the men that surrounded them.
"I'll help you so it's not so hard." Malarkey told her, his fingers still entwined with hers.
Marie could only nod, her face contorting as if she was in physical agony. She held onto Malarkey's hand as she stepped out to tell Easy Company that she was leaving for good. There was no guarantee that she would even see any of these men again, and the thought of the unknown outcomes is what frightened her the most.
She really hated goodbyes.