note: I call Soos' grandmother Alba because she needs a first name
B is for Banned
"You can take your call now, Mr. Pines." The officer herded him out of the cell, roughly pushing him along. "And, make it count. You only get one."
"Yeah, yeah, I got ya. Not like I haven't been arrested before," Stan grumbled, waving his hands dismissively.
He pulled the phone off the hook and slowly picked at the numbers one by one, trying to remember what came next as he went along. He frowned as he entered in the last three digits, not entirely sure if it was right.
Stan forced the phone between his ear and shoulder. He practiced the motions of the coin trick he'd been working on, but without a coin it wasn't much to look at. The dial tone trilled in his ear as an imaginary golden dollar ghosted smoothly over his knuckles.
"Hello, this is Alba Ramirez. What can I do for you?"
Stan could almost see her, in her pink curlers and slippers, chipped nails tapping against the phone.
"St-Stanford Pines, here. I, uh, need you to tell Soos not to come in for work tomorrow?"
"Why is that, Mr. Pines?"
"I, um, well, I might be in jail right now."
"Well," she huffed. He could hear her eyes rolling.
"Look, it's no big deal. I may have tried to… cancel July 13 and may or may not have threatened some government officials and driven my car into a building." Stan explained in one breath, feeling rather childish as he spoke.
"Oh." Alba was silent a moment, but quickly recovered, "That was very stupid."
"Alright, alright, it was dumb. Just don't go blabbering about this to Soos, okay?" Stan fiddled with the metal phone cord in one hand and pinched the bridge of his nose with the other. "He doesn't need to worry about this kinda junk."
"Soos- he thinks you're a great man, Mr. Pines," Alba sighed. "Try to be that man."
"I am trying," he replied, throwing his hands up in the air, "It's just nothing ever goes right when I try!"
"You need to relax. Do you need a ride? Just a ride. I cannot pay for you; we have no money right now."
"They're gonna release me soon. Just… if you- if you could come tomorrow? The car's totalled…"
"I'm sure I can manage," Alba replied with a laugh.
"What's so funny over there? I'm in jail over here, so I can't hear it." Stan didn't pause to allow her a response, "Anyway, I- I guess this is the part where I say thanks or something."
"You're welcome."
"Okay, I'm hanging up-"
"Not yet." Alba sucked in a loud breath before continuing, "It was stupid but you tried to do something good for Soos and I-"
"You don't have to thank me, Mrs. Ram-"
"No, Mr. Pines. You misunderstand me- I wanted to say do better next time."
There was a loud click and the line went silent.