"I need you to do this for me, Dipper. You need to make it so I never come back," Stanford crouched down as he spoke, laying a heavy hand on Dipper's shoulder.
"B-but, Great Uncle Ford…" Dipper bit his lip, staring holes through his shoes.
"It's the best way to prevent the destruction of this world," Stanford explained, voice rough. He shifted, lifting his hand, then cleared his throat and continued, "Anyway, it was- it was good to see Stanley again. And meet the two of you."
"But if you– if you go away that won't happen!"
"That's why I concocted this plan." Stanford turned on his heel, moving toward one of his work tables. "When you travel through time… those memories don't go away. They just move. The mind– the mind is complicated. It's built to sustain multiple realities, but it's not fond of remembering them."
"Why does it matter if we remember or not, it won't be real anymore." Dipper's hands balled up into tight fists. His fingers were sticky with sweat but the trembling energy in his chest kept him from rubbing them on his shorts.
"Fine," Ford huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It won't be real. The you who is you now, the only you you even care about, you present-blinded, small-minded doubter, won't exist. Wow, that was a lot of yous."
"Great Uncle Ford, are you– are you saying I'm stupid?" Dipper's anger was draining, his shoulders slumped forward and his hands fluttered upward, digging into the straps of his backpack.
"Well, if someone who lets his emotions get in the way of the greater good is stupid, then perhaps it fits." Ford pointedly turned his back on Dipper, fiddling with one of the devices on the table.
"What… what do you want me to do?" Dipper asked, a numbness spreading between his shoulder blades.
"I've explained this already," Stanford sighed, "Find Stanley, erase his memory, and send him on his way. Better yet, do it before he comes to Gravity Falls, then the whole messy portal incident can be avoided entirely!"
"So he'll never come to Gravity Falls?" Dipper's eyes widened. "Then I'll never, I'll never–"
"Come to Gravity Falls? Good, then," Stanford finished, his voice even. "Stanley wanted you to be normal anyway."
"You're asking me to give up the best summer of my life!" Dipper shouted at Stanford's back, tears spilling unbidden down his cheeks.
"I'm asking you to save the world!" Stanford rounded on him.
Dipper rubbed at his cheeks, fervently praying that his uncle would be unable to see that he was currently crying.
"And how is ruining our lives going to do that?"
"I never should have came back!" Stanford snapped. "Hell, I never should have left! I was- I was supposed to do something great! And, now I'll be able to do it!"
Dipper flinched as Stanford paced around him, shouting. He was a genius, Dipper reasoned with himself, he was The Author. If this was what he thought was best then it had to be. He swallowed thickly and pulled the measuring tape from his pocket.
"I'll do it, Great Uncle Ford."
"That's the ticket!" Stanford grinned, pushing down the bill of his hat.
Dipper smiled up at him weakly, pushing away his fears. He had a couple more questions but he didn't feel like he had the right to ask them. Yet they lingered, pressing in on him as he was squeezed through time and light.
Dipper recognized the car instantly. The paint job was brighter and there were fewer dents, yes, but it was the Stanley Mobile alright. It was parked on the side of the road and slowly being overtaken by an enormous snowbank.
"Now or never, I guess," Dipper muttered, wondering if it was weird to talk to himself. Stanford did.
He approached the car slowly, snow crunching underfoot. The snow spilled over into his shoes. He let out a piercing shriek as the cold seeped through his socks. His head shot up as the familiar creak of the car window rolling down met his ears.
"Hey, kid, whaddya think you're doing out in this storm?" Stanley's voice, not quite as low but certainly as abrasive, echoed through the deserted road.
"What do you think you're doing, Grun– guy-I-don't-know?" Dipper caught himself just in time. His eyes widened and he looked from side to side, certain that the time police would arrive at any moment.
"Whatever I want because I'm an adult," Stanley waved his hands in the air, a tight smile crossing his face. It broke in a moment, though, his brow crumpling in concern. "You need a ride, kid?"
"I, uh, ye- yeah. That'd be great."
"Alright, move your butt. The passenger door is open as of… now," Stanley announced, pressing a button on the door. He rolled up the window as Dipper crossed the frozen tundra to get in the car.
"Sooo…" Dipper slammed the door. He laid a hand on the dashboard, tracing the empty spaces where Mabel's stickers would never be.
"Where'd you need to go?" Stanley asked, starting up the car.
"Six eighteen Gopher Road," Dipper answered automatically.
"That's funny… that's, uh, that's where I was going." Stanley's fingers tapped a familiar rhythm against the steering wheel. He hummed tunelessly as the car lurched onto the road. "Didn't think Ford would be all that popular. You some kind of baby genius?"
"Nah…" Dipper could almost hear Stanford shouting at him. He shrugged off his backpack and snapped his seatbelt on. "I'm just Dipper."
"Dipper? Your parents hate you or somethin'?" Stanley snorted, but quickly sobered. "I know mine did. They named me 'n my brother Stanley and Stanford. What kinda… yahoo names their kids the same thing?!"
"Your dad," he answered, laughing nervously.
"HA! You got that right, kiddo," Stanley laughed with him. The same hearty guffaw Dipper had resented day after day.
He reached into his bag, the cold glass of the memory gun greeting him. If he did this, Grunkle Stan would never laugh at him again. He'd never start the Mystery Shack, he'd never ruin Lazy Susan's eye, he'd never hire Soos, he'd never invite them to stay for the summer, he'd never hold Mabel up on his shoulders and shoot off fireworks with them.
"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper hesitated, moving the gun around in his bag to get a better grip on the handle.
"What'd you call me?" Stanley frowned, pulling his eyes away from the road and looking at the child in the seat behind him.
"If you… if you could do something that would– would change everything and like, I don't know, save the world or something. Would you… get rid of the best time of your life?"
"Get ridda the best time of my life, huh?" Stanley rubbed his chin with one hand, squinting out into the snow.
"Would you?" he asked, leaning toward his uncle with an eagerness that sickened him. "If it would save the world?"
"No," Stanley replied, suddenly gaining confidence. "No! What's the world ever done for me?! I'd, uh, I'd watch it explode or whatever and know I did it."
"I can't let you do that," Dipper tried to sound cool when he spoke, but his voice cracked in the middle. He pulled the gun from the bag and pointed it at Stanley.
It was good that he'd already input the text, because he didn't think he'd be able to. His teeth clacked together and his shoulders shook as the air conditioner's hot breath pressed against his arms.
"Wh-what do you think you're doing?" Stanley shouted, holding up his hands. The car veered off course and he quickly grabbed the steering wheel again. "D-don't shoot!"
Dipper bit his lip and repositioned the gun in his hands.
"Please! I-I'm finally getting my life together. I'm gonna see my brother for the first time in ten years and it's-it's probably gonna go wrong but- I- I just want a chance to do something right for once.
"You wanna go to jail, kid? You got… you got endless potential here. Don't mess up. I messed up and I went to jail a coupla times and… I wish I didn't. Don't be like me."
"I have to!" Dipper cried out, fingers searching for the trigger. "You ruin everything! You and your brother fight and you- you push him through the portal and he's gone for thirty years, Grunkle Stan, THIRTY YEARS. And you spend everyday trying to get him back and he-he hates you! He hates you!"
"W-what's going on? Who are you? And w-what do you think know about my brother?!" Stanley pounded his fist into the steering wheel, causing the horn to honk loudly. "What do you know about him?! And why do you keep callin' me that?"
"I'm– I'm your great nephew from the future," he answers, shaking all over. "Great Uncle Ford sent me to do this."
"That-that doesn't make sense!" Stanley looked straight at him.
Dipper finally got a good look at his face. The bags under his eyes, the wrinkles already carving themselves in.
"Why… Does Stanford really hate me that much?" his voice was quiet as he spoke. "Enough to hire the world's smallest hitman?"
"If this makes it any better- which I guess it kind of doesn't?- he said he was glad to see you again," he answered, finger ghosting over the trigger.
"Then why… why doesn't he want to see me now! I- I won't mess everything up. I'm more than just some screw-up, I promise! Let's go to Stanford's house and just… see what happens. Please, you- you gotta believe me."
The words sent a shock through Dipper's system.
He could almost see Mabel hovering over the portal button, its harsh red glow casting shadows on her face. Mabel looking at Grunkle Stan with tears in her eyes. Mabel letting go of the button. Mabel floating away.
Dipper pulled the trigger.
So much for endless possibility.
Writer's Woes: This was written on a whim but I would love to explore this idea more. I have some idea for what kind of time shenanigans could happen next.