Digimon World Tour Chapter 50: The One with The Apologies, a digimon fanfic

Digimon World Tour

Recap

[Anya] For some strange reason, we were taken to the capital of America, along with the other original twelve DigiDestined. We were told that we would have room and board in the White House, something Marcus did not take too kindly too initially. Rika and I took residence in the converted Washington Sitting Room, where we had the typical girl talk about Gregorivich and me. All I ask is for commitment, and he cannot give it to me. He wants to wait until the war is over, but by then we may be dead. We visited a joint session of Congress, where Izzy and Commander Sampson fought for our cause bravely. However, after a motion was passed that all motions regarding Digimon must be unanimous, Marcus... how should I put it?... went berserk. I was never so embarrassed in my entire life. He ended up taking a walk until a Digimon attacked the Smithsonian Castle. It was a fierce battle, and ShineGreymon nearly did not survive. However, Marcus came to the realization that the two of them were powerful because of their friendship, and he was able to calmly bring himself to Burst Mode. To put the icing on the cake, he saved an old lady security guard from a burning building. How is that for heroism?

Chapter 50: The One With the Apologies

["I'll Be There For You" (TV Size)

Written by David Crane, Marta Kauffman, Michael Skloff, Allee Willis, Phil Sōlem, and Danny Wilde

Performed by Brad MacDonald and Steven J. Blum]

We fade in at a darkened North Lawn of the White House. The lights turn on and the fountain starts. The scene shifts to in front of the fountain. We find a couch with a lamp to the right of it. Kari walks over and sits on it, followed by Rika and Anya. Marcus sits on the left armrest, with Matt on the right, and T.K. and Greg fitting in somewhere. The seating arrangement quickly changes with the claps, until we find all seven opening differently-colored umbrellas. The gang dances around in the fountain, with Rika "feeding" rubber ducks. Anya twirls a thin scarf around, then look around strangely.

Brad/Steve: (VO)

So no one told you life was gonna be this way (clap x4)

Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.

It's like you're always stuck in second gear

But when it hasn't been your day, your week
Your month or even your year but

The gang continues to tool around in the fountain, generally acting like they own the place. Marcus rests in a floating pool chair wearing sunglasses and sipping a drink. T.K. looks to his left, then his right, and then spits water upwards, imitating the fountain spray directly next to him. Greg does the "Mr. Roboto" dance, while Matt falls into the fountain while sitting on its ledge. They splash around and just have fun out there. They then flex their muscles, with Marcus having the biggest ones.

Brad/Steve: (VO)

I'll be there for you (Steve: (VO) When the rain starts to pour)

I'll be there for you (Steve: (VO) Like I've been there before)

I'll be there for you

'Cause you're there for me too

As the sequence ends, they sit on the couch facing away from the camera. Kari turns off the lamp, darkening the entire scene.

Thomas

It was one in the morning and sleep had escaped me. I had tried everything except meditation, which is what Gaomon and I were doing on the third floor promenade. "Mind if I join you?" a voice asked. I turned around, and there was President Obama in his sleepwear. He sat down beside me. "Not at all. I suppose you can't sleep, either," I said. "Indeed. I've been thinking about your friend Marcus." "Friend? Heh, that's a laugh. To be perfectly honest, I can barely tolerate his denseness." "Right."

There was a moment of silence, and then something came to me. "Mr. President, something will have to be done today about him. He must apologize to the Speaker, and probably the rest of the country." "That he will. I'll get Jay to pencil him in and round up the Press Corps. We'll do it from the Briefing Room just in time for the noon news." "Thank you very much, sir," Gaomon said. "My pleasure." Now that that was taken off my shoulders, I felt much better, so I returned to bed.

Greg

After we'd changed into some dry clothes, we tried settling into bed. The only problem was that one bathroom light was still on. I pounded on the door. "Who's still in there?" I demanded to know. "Pipe down, I'm concentrating!" Marcus shouted from inside. I got a peek in the door, and there was Marcus with his basketball shorts down to the ground and his boxers in plain sight. He was drinking a bottle of water and peeing at the same time. Agumon was watching.

"What on Earth are you doing?" I asked. "Look, if you gotta know... There's something to drinking and urinating at the same time. Balance." "Uh... yeah." "Isn't the Boss amazing?" Agumon gushed. "He sure is, Agumon. ….I guess." I just walked away.

Thomas

Breakfast was served at eight, and that was when Marcus was given his orders. He dropped his fork back on his plate. "Huh? You mean I have to apologize in front of the entire country!?" "Marcus, it's only to maintain goodwill," Commander Sampson said. I poured more syrup onto my waffles. "I don't like this as much as you do, but you have to realize that politics is a tricky game. Not everything can be solved with your fists," I added. "Oh yeah? Then why don't you apologize for me, Nerdstein?" Marcus snarled. "I didn't punch out the Speaker of the House."

Finally, Marcus grudgingly agreed to do it. Izzy, Cody, and I prepped him for it in the Oval Office. Rika and Renamon were there for moral support, while the President was there because it was his office. "Now Marcus, what do you want to tell the public?" Izzy asked. "Um... I did bad?"

The three of us shook our heads and Cody started pacing the floor, like a lawyer. "No, it doesn't sound sophisticated enough. Your actions were morally reprehensible and you feel a deep sense of remorse." Marcus' face let his lack of clues shine through. "Huh? What'd you say, Cody?" "You did the wrong thing and you're sorry." "Oh... OK, I guess that'll work."

"Don't forget to tell him about the questions," Mr. Obama said while he was sorting through some papers. "Wait, what questions?" Marcus wondered. "The press will be asking thousands of them. Radio stations, TV stations, newspapers." "Eh, newspapers don't matter." "Oh no, I know exactly who reads the papers. USA Today is read by people who think they run the country; The New York Times is read by people who think they ought to run the country; The Washington Post is read by the people who actually do run the country; The New York Post is read by the wives of the people who run the country; The Wall Street Journal is read by people who own the country; The Washington Times is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country; and The Globe is read by people who think it is." "What about people who read the National Enquirer?" Cody inquired. Agumon eagerly raised his claw. "Oh, oh, I know that one! The Enquirer readers don't care who runs the country as long as she's got big boobs." The president nodded his head in agreement.

Marcus

They had me get dressed in my suit by eleven so I could be out there in the Press Briefing Room by 11:15. I stood outside the entrance with Rika. "Man, this sucks," I said. "Don't worry about it, you'll be fine. The rest of us will watch in the Situation Room downstairs." Then we kissed until a page told me I had one minute. "Break a leg," she said, giving me the thumbs-up. I returned it. "Love you, babe." "Love you more." Then, she left with Renamon and Agumon. I cracked my knuckles and walked in.

The place was packed with people with pens and paper and things like that. They were all from the press. I walked to the podium and tapped the mic. "Uh, is this thing on?" I asked. They laughed. "All right. Good morning. My name's Marcus Damon. I'm the drummer of The Teenage Wolves, and I'm also an operative for the Digital Accident Tactics Squad. I was in the news recently because I punched Speaker Boehner and then saved a Smithsonian security guard the same night. I think that cancels out what I did wrong, right?" Nobody said anything, so I cleared my throat. "Ahem. Ohhhh-kay then. My actions on the House floor were morally reprehensible, and I feel a strong sense of remorse. That basically means I'm sorry. You guys are probably gonna ask why I did it. I'll tell you. As you probably read this morning, Congress wanted all resolutions and motions involving Digimon to be unanimous. Now, uh, if what Greg Logan tells me is true, that's never gonna happen. Alright? It's never gonna happen. And that, er..."

I checked my notecard, then tossed it into the air. "'Aggravates me to no end'. And I'm gonna be G-rated here because my sister may be watching in Japan. Hi, Kristy. Now, if what my commander says is true, and he's never lied to me before, then the military doesn't know how to fight a Digimon the same way we do. Now, I'm a professional. People like me, and Matt, and Kari, we're professionals. These people in Washington, they don't really know anything about it like we do. I get that they're scared. I get that they're worried. If I didn't have Agumon, I'd be worried, too. What these politicians need to realize is that politics doesn't have anything to do with Digimon. So they should leave us alone so we can do our jobs and bring peace to both this world and the Digital World. A friend of mine, Thomas H. Norstein, told me that not everything can be solved with my fists. I'm working on that. Now, I get that this country's gotta deal with Iraq and Iran and the Ayatollah, and all this other mumbo-jumbo that the President keeps talking about. But I guarantee you, that this is bigger than all that."

Matt

The Situation Room was packed. Thomas nervously chewed on a No. 2 pencil. Gabumon perked up when Marcus mentioned my name. "Oh, he mentioned you, Matt," he said. "I know," I answered.

Greg was on his third can of Mello Yello. "He's not pulling any punches, is he? Going for the left and the right." "He's doing a good job, I would say," Anya replied as she brushed her hair. T.K. added, "I'm glad it's not me up there."

Max wrote notes in a journal. "What are you writing those notes for, Max?" I asked him. "I want to modify some of his speech and use it for an audition."

Later, Marcus took questions. He claimed most of them were way above his job description and that they'd have to ask Commander Sampson, but he did plug the album. Thomas looked like he was in agony. "I never thought I'd say this, but Marcus Damon would make a great politician," Cody said.

Marcus later joined us, with a huge smile on his face. "Did you see that? They loved me out there!" he bragged. "Yes, yes," Thomas muttered while shaking his head. "What's the matter, Thomas? I said what you told me to say. I just, you know, added to it." "That's not the point. If you ask me, you made yourself look like a fool out there. That reflects on the rest of us." "Well nobody asked you, Nerdstein." "Stop calling me that, or I swear..."

I had to hold Thomas down. "Easy, boy. Gaomon, would you please get Thomas a drink? I think he needs it." "Sir, yes, sir," Gaomon replied. Thomas' eyes looked glazed over. "I think I'm losing control of my life," he moaned. "This is Washington, you're allowed to have a nervous breakdown once in a while," Obama commented.

Thomas

This was a complete and utter disaster. I sat there with my head in my hands, wondering where I went wrong. "Come on, guys. Maybe we should give him some space," Kari suggested softly. So, they left.

Minutes later, Gaomon returned with a saucer and a cup of tea. "Here it is, sir. One of the finest blends." I took it. "Thank you," I said. Then, I took a sip. "Gaomon, what did you think of the speech?" "Well, sir, I shall say that, as far as we can see, looking at it by and large, taking one thing with another in terms of the average of departments, then in the final analysis it is probably true to say, that at the end of the day, in general terms, you would probably find that, not to put too fine a point on it, there probably wasn't very much in it one way or the other. As far as one can see, at this stage." "You sound just like a politician." "Thank you, sir." "But really, what did you think of it?" "I'd like to withhold judgment at this time, for fear of hurting either yours or Marcus' feelings." I stroked him on the head. "Fair enough."

Meanwhile, inside the Bagra Army's headquarters, Dragomon continues his plotting. Tactimon practices sword drills. "Lord Dragomon?" "Yes, Tactimon?" "I wonder if somehow we are thinking of this the wrong way. It would seem to me that brawn is not always the most powerful force those humans have. If we can reduce the brainpower, then we can outwit them. At that point, they will be easy pickings." "Your plan intrigues me. Which human do you plan on eliminating?" "There can be only one. Thomas H. Norstein, the strategist." "Excellent. And I have the perfect choice. NeoMyotismon, come forth!"

"You called for me, Lord Dragomon?" a voice asks. In flies a high-class vampire-like Digimon. He has pale white skin, blond hair, white spikes sprouting from his deep purple armor, six red eyes and a second, heavily toothed, ghastly mouth gaping wide open as well as being adorned by the lunar symbol on his chest just above it.

Dragomon addresses him, "Yes. It seems that there's a certain target we want you to eradicate. Thomas H. Norstein, the strategist of the DigiDestined. We've compiled some data on him so you know what you're up against." A video screen pops up, showing all of Thomas and Gaomon's battles. NeoMyotismon lets out a devious smile. "Oh... fascinating. Don't you worry your little head over it. I'm on the job."

Greg

We watched the noon news and most of the cable news channels. Marcus provided just enough buzzwords to drive the media crazy. They were all talking about this press conference. MTV cut away from 16 and Pregnant long enough for RCA to admit they had no comment on what Marcus actually said, but that they anticipated record sales would soar. "Well, duh," Rika said. For the first time in history, Fox News and MSNBC both agreed that the president was actually doing something right regarding this threat.

As for Thomas, he left after lunch to the East Room. "Boy, Thomas must be taking your success really hard," T.K. guessed. Marcus smeared his napkin along his mouth. "Eh, he'll get over it. I mean, it was kinda his idea, wasn't it, Mr. President Man?" "Yes, and kind of mine," Obama said.

["Sooner or Later" (Acoustic Version)

Written by Alan Parsons and Eric Woolfson

Performed by Thomas H. Norstein (Crispin Freeman)]

In the East Room on the first floor of the White House, Thomas adjusts the piano bench. He then cracks his knuckles and sits down. Gaomon pulls up a chair and joins him."So, Thomas. Part of your plan was a success. Marcus apologized, and the media seems to adore him." Thomas takes some sheet music out of a portfolio he carries in a briefcase. Gaomon clears his throat. "Um, sir? I don't believe I've ever seen you act jealous of anyone else before." "Me? Jealous? Who could I possibly be jealous of?" Thomas asks. "Marcus, of course." "Pfft. Please. The man survives solely on lucky breaks and poor impulse control. I have a doctorate in medicine and am a respected multi-instrumentalist. He is a crude drummer and general lowlife who enjoys Foreigner." "I thought that one song Marcus sang at the wedding was nice." "Hmmm..." Thomas decides to let it go as he lifts the lid up on the piano. He does a quick warm-up and then begins to play an acoustic version of a selection from the "Vulture Culture" album.

Thomas:

Oh what a price we pay
For the things we say
And the closer I get to you
The further you move away

All the lies we tell
In the games we play
And the longer I think it over
The harder it is to stay

The piano Thomas is playing is the Steinway grand piano with gilt American eagle supports. It was designed by Eric Gugler (with help from Franklin Roosevelt) and was given to the White House in 1938 by the manufacturer. It is decorated with gilt stenciling by Dunbar Beck. It replaced an earlier custom piano from the 19th century that featured a similar eagle motif. We get general shots of Thomas thinking carefully, venting through his music.

Thomas:

Sooner or later I'll be free
To leave the past behind
Sooner or later you're gonna be
The last thing on my mind

Little by little I'm finding out
The truth behind your eyes
Maybe if I don't show
I thought you might like to know
You're gonna be the last thing on my mind

You didn't want to know
I could have told you so
But the moment I think it's over
The further there is to go

Just a little word
Such an easy way
But the longer I think about it
The harder it is to say

The White House has other pianos, generally kept in the upstairs residence rooms, such as the Central Hall. These are more traditional black grand pianos, most by Baldwin (which President Truman preferred).

Thomas:

Sooner or later I'll be free
To leave the past behind
Sooner or later you're gonna be
The last thing on my mind

Little by little I'm finding out
The truth behind your eyes
Maybe if I don't show
I thought you might like to know
You're gonna be the last thing on my mind

While he plays the instrumental break, Thomas' mind reflects back to the times when he and Marcus were forced to work together. He thinks about everything that Marcus does have going for him: his good health, his fighting spirit, his good looks and charisma, and his girlfriend Rika. Little does he know that a certain beautiful, seductive Russian woman with blonde hair is quietly joining him.

Thomas:

Sooner or late I'll be free
To leave the past behind
Sooner or later you're gonna be
The last thing on my mind

Little by little I'm finding out
The truth behind your eyes
Maybe if I don't show
I thought you might like to know
You're gonna be the last thing on my mind

At the piece's conclusion, Anya applauds. This catches Thomas by surprise as he looks to find the source.

Thomas

Anya and Lalamon had gotten in without my being aware of it. "Anya. Lalamon. What are you two doing here?" I asked them. "Simply admiring your work, nothing more," Anya simply answered. "Are you sure the others didn't send you to force me back into Marcus' big victory party?" She sighed. "All right, so you have me there. I actually came to make you an offer. I know we get onto you a lot about you not having a significant other, so I am giving you the opportunity to take me to dinner tonight."

"You don't want to walk out on this one, trust me," Lalamon added. "And does Greg know about this?" I inquired. "He doesn't have to. He's not willing to commit, so neither should we. Greg's never asked Anya to go steady." "How do you know this, Lalamon?" "I'm her partner. I know everything about her. Anya's too gosh darn serious, plus she's bossy. And you should see what she does with her toenail clippings!"

Anya quickly squeezed and stretched her partner out. "That's quite enough out of you, my little friend! No one wants to hear the sordid details of my life!" "I think they're somewhat interesting," Gaomon said. "Of course you would!" she snapped back.

I brought the conversation back to its focus. "Anya, I appreciate your concern for my welfare. I don't want to upset yours and Greg's relationship." "Oh." She lowered her head. "That being said, I would be honored to be your escort this evening, but only on the understanding that we remain friends and nothing more." Anya's eyes lit up. "You have a deal!" she agreed. We shook hands on it.

Greg

As if things couldn't get any stranger around here, we got a phone call from the band's social media manager. It seems that Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars had found out about Marcus' apology and thought that since they liked his style so much, they wanted to work with him on a song. "No kidding? Bruno Mars wants to work with me? All right!" Marcus cheered. He started fistbumping everyone in the room.

Later on, Anya and Thomas had an announcement to make. "Anya has given me the distinct honor of taking her out to dinner this evening," Thomas proudly informed us. This completely caught me off guard. "Huh?" Anya just smiled and shifted her hip to the side with one hand on the other one. "You never asked me to go steady," she said, to which I asked, "Can I ask you now?"

"Greg, it's nothing to worry about. I'm sure Thomas isn't planning on messing anything up between the two of you," Sora said. Thomas nodded to that, and I got an idea. "In that case, I'm sure Kari won't mind joining me as the four of us go on a group date." I turned to T.K. "Right, Takeru?" I asked him.

That confused him a little. "Huh? Why are you asking me?" "Oh please, it's obvious. I've dated Rika, that didn't work. I've dated Anya, she and I are supposedly on the rocks now. If she gets to take Thomas out, then the least you could do is let me finish the set."

"Finish the set!?" Kari repeated lividly. She quickly walked up to me. "I will not stand here and be treated like a trading card for your collection. Are we clear, Gregory?" "That's right, you can't treat my sister like that!" Tai added.

I put my hands up. "Whoa, whoa, I don't know what you're talking about. It's not like I'm going to make a pass at her. She is a claimed woman." "A claimed woman?" T.K. repeated. "Yeah, bro. You claimed her."

"I claimed Marcus," Rika proudly said. Marcus just grinned from ear to ear as he put his arm around her, grabbing a tight hold around her rear. "No one cares," I told her. It got bad enough to where President Obama just left, with Commander Sampson following.

The arguing went on for a while until Kari blew her whistle. "All right! I've made a decision. I'll join Greg, Thomas, and Anya on this 'group date'. Greg, T.K. and I are in a relationship, and I don't want you to mess that up for me. The four of us are going as a group of friends. OK?" I gave her the thumbs up. "You got it!"

She then turned to T.K. "T.K., I hope you don't mind," she said. "I don't. Just be careful." "We will," I said.

Marcus

We prepared for our night out on the town. While Greg, Kari, Anya, and Thomas would be going on a group date, I had a business dinner with Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars. So, I had to look my best. I had my suit pressed just for the occasion while Rika used gel to make her pineapple ponytail even spikier.

Julio, Obama's chauffeur, drove us in a stretch limo to The Mandarin Oriental hotel off of Maryland Avenue. When we arrived and stepped out, we were met by an ambiguously black guy who was about five-foot-four and wearing a brightly-colored suit, and a white guy who was just a bit taller. "Yo!" the black guy called to us. I looked him over. "Uh, so, where's your big brother?" I asked him. "My big brother?" "Yeah. Bruno." "Uh, dude, I am Bruno." "Marcus, that is Bruno Mars," Rika agreed. I looked him over again. "You're much shorter in person, Bruno." "Thanks," he answered. We introduced ourselves and then went inside.

While waiting for our entrees, Mark pulled out a notebook filled with lyrics. He turned it to the page he wanted and gave it to me. "Huh, so let's see what we got here 'Michelle Pfeiffer.' Oh yeah, she didn't get along with Max that well. 'Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent'. What's that?" "Those are my shoes matching my sunglasses," Bruno said. "Huh? Your shoes matching your sunglasses? What's that got to do with anything?" "Aww come on, man, you gotta look good. Where'd you get your suit?" "Rick Pallack." "Only place to buy suits?" "Damn skippy."

"'Skippy.' I like that. Can I use that?" Mark quickly asked. "Sure, knock yourself out," I said. He quickly wrote it down. "Now, what rhymes with Skippy?" "Mississippi," Bruno suggested. Mark wrote that down too.

Rika continued the conversation. "OK, Bruno, so why do you want Marcus?" "Because he tells it like it is. I mean, you heard him today." I shook my head. "Man, you're giving me more credit than I'm due," I said.

Rika

Marcus being humble?! Who is this guy, and what'd he do to my lover?

Marcus

We had a pretty decent dinner and just talked shop. We'd been competing in the charts, and "Locked Out of Heaven" was pretty good. It turned out I had more in common with Mark than with Bruno.

Greg

We went to this karaoke bar and restaurant that was supposed to be exclusive. It had a $500 cover charge, that's how exclusive it was. Thomas and I were the perfect gentlemen, and Anya and Kari could not be more beautiful. Kari, in particular, was wearing an all-white dress. Anya was in all black. The two could not be more differently dressed, but they were both stunning.

The dinner was sensational, but the conversation was completely lacking. All Thomas could talk about was his half-sister Relena's mysterious disease. Not even he knew the name of it. All he knew was that it gave Relena a very weak constitution and cut off access to the muscles in her lower body. "Thomas, please. Nobody wants to hear about your sister non-stop! We don't care!" I moaned. "I do," Anya insisted. "Nobody asked you," I shot back. She twisted her head away from me and let out a "Hmmph."

"Greg has a point. Can we please change the subject?" Kari politely asked. So, we did. "All right then. Kari, do you have a new topic for us?" Thomas asked. "Sure. I've been thinking, and this is incredible. Literally, as in not credible. About a few years ago, we were just average kids who just happened to have friends from another dimension. And now, we've been all over the world. It just blows my mind." "Mine, too," I agreed.

Just then, a gray-haired manager approached our table. "Excuse me, are you the Teenage Wolves?" he asked. "A part of them, yes. Why do you ask?" Thomas answered. "Well, we were wondering if you would perform for us tonight."

I saw this one coming a mile away and rolled my eyes at his request. I stood up, loudly tapped my waterglass, and made an announcement. "Can I have your attention, please? We're four members of the chart-topping Teenage Wolves, and this manager wants us to perform on stage! Can you believe this guy? We're trying to have a nice, friendly dinner here at this establishment and this manager over here has the gall to ask us to drop what we're doing and perform for you nice people." I turned to the manager. "Mister Manager, are you prepared to make a $10,000 tax-deductible donation to The Relena Norstein Foundation?" I loudly asked him.

"Wait, R-Relena Norstein Foundation?" Thomas stammered. I elbowed him. "Don't worry, buddy, I've got this under control." I turned back to the manager. "Hmmmm?" "Um... what is this foundation for?" the manager asked.

"I'm glad you asked. Thomas, tell him about your half-sister," I said. Then, I directed Kari and Anya up on stage.

"Gregorivich! Are you really going to be starting an organization for Thomas?" Anya asked me. "Well yeah. I figure it'll be the only way to shut him up about his sister." "That's so sweet of you," Kari added. I grinned, then turned to the backup band. After just a few minutes with them, I learned that some of them were session musicians in the 80s. We quickly formulated a strategy around Mr. Mister's "Broken Wings".

I called for a coin, and the drummer tossed one. "OK, heads, Kari sings lead. Tails, I sing lead. Does that sound fair to you, Kari?" I asked. She nodded, so I tossed the coin. It came up tails.

Minutes later, Thomas ran up to the stage. "All right, I just received a call from Dr. Damon. There's a Digimon headed towards Anacostia. I'll go investigate it," he said. "Sure you can handle it on your own, Thomas?" I asked as I quickly tuned their guitar. "I'm positive. I'll call you if I need you, which I probably won't." "Fair enough. Live long and prosper." I gave him the Vulcan Salute, which he returned. Then, he left.

After getting a bite to eat, we were ready.

["Broken Wings" (LP Version)

Written by Richard Page, Steve George and John Lang

Performed by The Capitol Hill Gang feat. Greg Logan

Lead Vocals: Greg Logan (Doug Erholtz)]

The band starts playing. Anya and Kari play percussion instruments. Greg approaches the microphone with a guitar. The instrumentation for this one is more reliant on guitar and less on electronic drums.

Greg:

Baby, I don't understand
Why we can't just hold on to each others' hands
This time might be the last, I fear
Unless I make it all too clear
I need you so, whoa

Take these broken wings
And learn to fly again
Learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in
Take these broken wings

Anya and Kari break away from their percussion and dance among the tables, each channeling their own inner Solid Gold Dancer. We get a number of varying shots.

Greg:
Baby, I think tonight
We can take what was wrong and make it right, mmm
Baby, it's all I know
That you're half of the flesh
And blood that makes me whole
I need you so

So take these broken wings
And learn to fly again
Learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in

Take these broken wings
You've got to learn to fly
Learn to live and love so free
And when we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in, yeah, yeah

Outside the restaurant, Thomas summons Gaomon, Digivolves him to Gaogamon, and then rides him through traffic. His destination: the small, historic neighborhood of Anacostia, immediately across the Frederick Douglass Bridge from the newly built Nationals Ballpark.

Greg: (VO)
And let us in
And let us in

We return to the restaurant.

Greg:
Baby, it's all I know
That you're half of the flesh
And blood that makes me whole
Yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeaaaah

Speaking of the Nationals Ballpark, NeoMyotismon freely extends both of his arms to reliably capture innocent bystanders, then wrenches them apart after forcing them to divulge all of their information.

Greg: (VO)
So take these broken wings
And learn to fly again
Learn to live so free
And when we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in

Take these broken wings
You've got to learn to fly
Learn to live and love so free
And when we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up for us and let us in, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah
Ooh

Thomas rides into the outfield like the gallant knight he is. Of course, this is what NeoMyotismon was counting on.

Marcus

Rika's and my earpieces went off, so we both went near the restrooms to answer them. "This is Marcus, what's up?" "Marcus, this is Dad. There's a Digimon spotted near Anacostia. I've already sent Thomas there, but I've got a feeling he might need backup." "You think he might need backup? Huh. In that case, call me when he actually does." "Marcus, what are you doing that could possibly be more important than this?" "I'm in a business dinner with Bruno Mars." "Marcus..." "Okay, okay, Dad. I'll take Rika and Bruno with me. Have you got the location?" "I'm sending the coordinates to your Digivice now." "Got it. Thanks." I hung up.

Rika threw up her hands. "Well, I guess we have no choice now. Bruno and Mark will have to come with us. Nice going, Marcus," she griped. "Don't worry about it, babe. Come on."

We went back to our table to find Bruno and Mark drinking it up. Rika snapped her fingers in front of them. "Guys, we've got a change of plans. We need you to come with us, pronto." "Fill my cup, put some liquor in it," Bruno ordered. She poured a small amount into the glass. I got the check and slammed it in front of Mark. "Take a sip, sign the check," I said. Then, I called over Julio. "Julio, get the stretch."

After Mark paid for dinner, we got both of them into a stretch limo. I read off the coordinates from the Digivice into Julio's GPS, and we sped off like it was nobody's business.

Thomas

Taking the proper precautions, I dismounted Gaogamon and did my research on this threat from a distance. "'NeoMyotismon, an Undead Digimon.' No level?" I shook my head, then looked up and pointed at him and ordered, "NeoMyotismon! Stop what you're doing this instant!" The giant Digimon turned to me. "Hmmm? So…. We finally meet, Thomas H. Norstein." "Hmmm? How do you know who I am?" "I have my ways. The Bagra Army has had a high interest in you for some time now."

I stared him down. "What's the matter? You don't like Kari now?" "Time is of the essence, sir. I suggest we deal with him quickly," Gaogamon suggested. Then, he reverted to Gaomon. I nodded. "Right! Prepare for Double Warp Digivolution." "Sir, yes, sir!"

I ignited my DigiSoul to the proper levels, then put myself in the proper position. "DigiSoul, Charge! OVERDRIVE!"

"Gaomon Double Warp Digivolve to…. MirageGaogamon!"

After the Digivolution, I stood ready for the inevitable deluge of Troopmon grunts. NeoMyotismon didn't fail to disappoint, so I entered in the proper code on my Digivice. "DigiSoul Aura Mode, on!" In seconds, the DigiSoul evenly coated my body in the proper consistency, so I secured my Digivice and gave a battle order. "MirageGaogamon! Use Attack Pattern Gamma Formation!" "Right" He quickly dashed behind him. "Double Crescent Mirag-!" Before he could execute the attack, NeoMyotismon quickly evaded the attack and struck hard from behind. "Is this the attack plan of a genius? I've never seen anything so predictable!" he taunted. "Ugh... now, sir?" my partner inquired. "Yes, now! Switch to Omega Pattern!" I directed. "Sir, yes, sir!" Our enemy shot us down effortlessly.

I gave another order to my partner. "Use Alpha, Sigma, and Epsilon Formations, in that order! I'll take care of these Troopmon!" "Sir, yes, sir!" I could now focus my attention on the Troopmon, which were quickly becoming more and more of a challenge. I mentally "uploaded" data from the third meeting between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier in 1975, then analyzed Ali's strategy. Everything came into place as I walked flat-footed to the center of the infield and proceeded to unleash a flurry of combinations on the Troopmon. The emphasis was on speed, accuracy, and precision as they started falling like dominoes. I discovered blisters developing on my thumbs, but I paid them no mind. Finally, the last one was down, and I could quickly and effortlessly tend to the blisters using a healing technique Rika had taught me.

I powered down from Aura Mode, looked up, and saw what was happening. It didn't look good for us. How was this possible? "Sir! I used the formations in that order, but he keeps countering. It's like he knows all of our strategies before we've executed them. What do we do?" MirageGaogamon quickly asked. My mind raced. "Have you tried Sigma-Delta-Kai?" "Sigma-Delta-Kai, sir? Which one is that?" I let out a sigh. "The combination of Sigma, Delta, and Kai Formations, of course." "Oh, of course. Just testing you." He attempted Sigma-Delta-Kai, but again NeoMyotismon came up with the perfect counterattack. MirageGaogamon was thrown into the stands.

"Just accept the fact that I know all of your strategies inside and out. Every battle formation, every plan. There's no possible way you can defeat me," our enemy taunted. I quickly played out every possible strategy in my mind, but based on knowledge I had gathered from observation, it wouldn't have mattered. NeoMyotismon continued, "And now, it's time to feast on your pathetic partner's energy. Nightmare Leeches!" He raised his hands and flying leech-like spirits flew towards MirageGaogamon. They clamped on and started draining his energy. My eyes widened. "MirageGaogamon!" I yelled.

I kept thinking and analyzing until I could feel my body start to shut down. I stumbled backwards into the outfield and fell onto the trimmed grass, being temporarily forced out of consciousness.

In my hallucinations, I was in a black area with Gaomon. "Sir, are you all right?" I sat up and shook my head. "Hmmm... in a void of nothingness. I'm fine, Gaomon. At least, I suppose so. So, all of our strategies are useless, he says." "That's right." "Hmm... then we'll have to come up with new ones." "That's going to take time we don't have, Thomas." "You're right." I started analyzing again, but that only made me dizzy, as my palms quickly made contact with the surface.

It took me a little time, but finally, something came together for me. "Maybe the best strategy against him... is none at all." Gaomon looked at me strangely. "Hmmm?" "I've had an epiphany. Marcus Damon does have a strategy after all, though it's not visible from the surface. It consists of going all out from the start, overpowering the enemy, and taking them out quickly before they can do any lasting damage."

I got back up on my feet. "Gaomon... I can't believe I'm saying this, but that is our formula for success," I said. He smiled. "I'm glad you think so, sir." All of a sudden, my Digivice began to glow. I felt something inside Gaomon. It seemed our heartbeats and thought patterns were becoming synchronized. Power began to flow through my body. Imagine, if you will, feeling very high thrust, exhaust speeds at around 10 times the speed of sound in air at sea level, and very high thrust/weight ratios simultaneously. Then, imagine this occuring inside your body without you ever leaving the ground. It was breathtaking.

I returned to consciousness in the real world with that very feeling. I found myself back up on my feet, in an offensive stance, completely covered in DigiSoul. I took the time to look around, and it seemed we had reinforcements. Sakuyamon Burst Mode had created a spherical barrier, while ShineGreymon Burst Mode was fighting off our enemy. NeoMyotismon was stupefied. "How did you manage to get up on your feet?!" he loudly wondered.

"Hey! Nerdstein! Over here!" Marcus shouted. I turned, and there he was with Rika, grinning like the devil. He and Rika gave me thumbs up.

I grinned, then turned back to my enemy. I threw down the gauntlet. "NeoMyotismon! It's time for you to leave the human world. I swear on behalf of the Norsteins, I will win!" "You're delusional!" our enemy shouted back. Marcus shouted to him, "You shut up! He doesn't have to explain anything to you!"

With that, I unclipped my Digivice and pressed the three buttons on it in reverse order. An aura covered MirageGaogamon as well as he shook the leeches off him. "Get ready, MirageGaogamon!" I ordered. Then, I swung my hand around and went into position.

I shifted the Digivice to the side, slowly bringing my free hand into the light of the Signal Port. I noticed the aura being drawn in as I swung it. "CHARGE! DigiSoul... BURST MODE!" I called. After the Digivice beeped, I thrust both hands fully out to my sides and fired the beam. My partner took the energy and gracefully accepted it, gaining wing-like decorations on his shoulder pads. He brought his hands up and apart, creating what looked like a crescent moon. As it expanded, he brought his hands up again, like he was about to execute a Spirit Bomb, and then drew out a crescent energy blade. "MirageGaogamon, BURST MODE!" I stared in amazement as I looked him up on the Digimon Analyzer. While I did that, my partner congratulated me. "You did it, sir! You were able to help me achieve another level of power. In this mode, my Meteor Shackle and Final Mirage Burst attacks will propel us to victory!" Then, I put my Digivice away and my proverbial game face on.

Marcus

"Hot damn! What are those things?" Bruno wondered. Mark took another swig of a bottle we'd bought for him.

Thomas

"MirageGaogamon! The only way to beat him is with brute force! Fight with your instincts!" I called up. "Sir, yes, sir!" With that, he charged into NeoMyotismon as the two entered combat. I could feel the outside temperature increase from the sheer impact of the battle. It went back and forth between the two until MirageGaogamon finally had the upper hand. "Meteor Shackle!" MirageGaogamon struck his enemy with a globe of light containing the energy of a planet. I know this because I looked it up on the Digimon Analyzer. Pink light scattered around the sky. "Impossible!" NeoMyotismon shrieked. He let out a roar of pain before finally reverting into a DigiEgg. When all was said and done, MirageGaogamon reverted back to Gaomon, leaving him looking very small and very tired. I put him back in the Digivice to recover. "Well done, Gaomon. Well done."

Sakuyamon and ShineGreymon powered down as well, and their human partners put them back in their Digivices. I calmly and triumphantly walked over to join them. "It seems I used a play from your book," I told Marcus. "Huh? I have a book?" I whispered his own strategy to him. "Oh yeah! Yeah, that's me, all right. Ha ha ha!" Rika hissed, which got her boyfriend's attention. "Oh, yeah. Of course. Thomas, this is Bruno Mars and Mark Ronson. We were in the middle of a business dinner when Dad called us. Bruno, Mark, this is Thomas H. Norstein, our keyboardist, producer and arranger." We exchanged pleasantries, waited for the police to arrive so we could fill out a report (for a change), then spent the rest of the night in the stretch limo attempting to finish writing a song they had been working on.

["Uptown Funk"

Written by Mark Ronson, Bruno Mars, and Marcus Damon (Jeff Bhasker, Philip Lawrence, Bruno Mars, Mark Ronson) with elements written by Devon Gallaspy and Trinidad James

Performed by Mark Ronson feat. The Teenage Wolves

Lead Vocal: Marcus Damon (Quinton Flynn)]

In this theoretical music video, we start outside the Capitol Building as we see Marcus, Greg, T.K., Matt, Rika, and Mark Ronson wearing brightly-colored suits and chains. They just hang out as a young and attractive Congresswoman passes by.

Band:

Doh

Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh

Doh doh doh, doh duh (Mark R.: Aaaaaaow!)

The group struts around outside the Capitol Building as if they own the place. They kiss their rings after "I'm so pretty".

Marcus/Band:

This hit

That ice cold

Michelle Pfeiffer

That white gold

This one, for them hood girls

Them good girls

Straight masterpieces

Stylin', while in

Livin' it up in the city

Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent

Gotta kiss myself, I'm so pretty

During each call of "I'm too hot", the five close in, with the order (from left-to-right) being Matt, Rika, Marcus, T.K., and Greg. Then, they break up after "Hot damn". Mark R. joins in on the third "Hot damn".

Marcus:

I'm too hot (Band: hot damn)

Called a police and a fireman

I'm too hot (Band: hot damn)

Make a dragon wanna retire, man

I'm too hot (Band: hot damn)

Say my name you know who I am

I'm too hot (Band: hot damn)

Am I bad 'bout that money?

Break it down

Various female members of the DigiDestined walk by (including Nene and Kristy), to the band's approval.

Marcus:

Girls hit your hallelujah (Band: whoo)

'Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to you

The scene switches back-and-forth to the band grooving outside the White House.

Marcus/Band:

'Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to you

Saturday night and we in the spot

Marcus:

Don't believe me, just watch (Come on)

The scenes keep switching back and forth.

Band:

Doh

Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh (Hah!)

Marcus:

Don't believe me, just watch

Band:

Doh

Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh (Hah!)

Marcus:

Don't believe me, just watch

Hey, hey, hey, oh!

The scene stops, as it switches to the group shuffling down a sidewalk in a line. Greg, in front, turns to "pour" some "liquor" (actually Pepsi) in Marcus' cup. Marcus "sips" it, while turning to "sign" a check on a checkbook Rika's holding. Rika then throws the checkbook away, and Matt, in back, catches it. Marcus actually wrote half the second verse (everything up to "Ride to Harlem...").

Marcus/Band:

Stop

Wait a minute

Marcus:

Fill my cup, put some liquor in it

Marcus/Band:

Take a sip, sign a check

Marcus:

Julio! Get the stretch!

The scene moves to the Teenage Wolves strutting down Pennsylvania Avenue alongside a stretch limo, which Julio is driving. Maxwell sits on one front corner, partially covering a headlight with his leg. Mark Ronson sits on the other.

Marcus/Band:

Ride to Harlem, Hollywood, Jackson, Mississippi

If we show up, we gon' show out

Smoother than a fresh jar o' Skippy

The scene moves to a shoeshine stand, where Maxwell is sitting down on the far right while reading a newspaper. Marcus is dancing around while getting his shoes shined.

Marcus:

I'm too hot (Band: hot damn)

Called a police and a fireman

I'm too hot (Band: hot damn)

Make a dragon wanna retire, man

The scene switches again to the House Chamber. Rika's on the phone, and only covers the mouthpiece long enough to say "Too hot" and "Hot damn".

Marcus:

I'm too hot (Rika: too hot) (Band: hot damn) (Rika: hot damn)

Say my name, you know who I am

I'm too hot (Band: hot damn)

Am I bad 'bout that money?

Break it down

Back by the limo, Maxwell and Mark Ronson have switched sides of the car.

Marcus:

Girls hit your hallelujah (Band: whoo)

'Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to you

The scene switches back-and-forth to the band grooving at the shoeshine stand and the Situation Room.

Marcus/Band:

'Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to you

Saturday night and we in the spot

Marcus:

Don't believe me, just watch (Come on)

The scenes keep switching back and forth.

Band:

Doh

Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh (Hah!)

Marcus:

Don't believe me, just watch

Band:

Doh

Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh (Hah!)

Marcus:

Don't believe me, just watch

Hey, hey, hey, oh!

We get shots of Marcus, sitting in the Oval Office, with his feet up on the desk. He addresses the camera.

Marcus: (rapping)

Before we leave

Let me tell y'all a lil' something

Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up

Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up, uh

I said Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up

Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up

As if by magic, the Obama women appear with Kari and Anya and start dancing inside the Oval Office.

Marcus: (rapping)

Come on, dance

Jump on it

If you sexy, then flaunt it

If you freaky, then own it

Don't brag about it, come show me

Come on, dance

Jump on it

If you sexy, then flaunt it

Cut outside the limo again.

Marcus/Band:

Well it's Saturday night and we in the spot

Marcus:

Don't believe me, just watch (come on)

We move inside the House Chamber as the band has set up shop in there. Bruno Mars is playing the drums this time, as the band performs with Marcus up front, Maxwell playing tambourine, and Mark Ronson playing guitar. As in the real music video, the Dap-Kings horn section collaborates with theAntibalashorn section to provide horns here. After Mark R. lets out his last "Aaaaaaow!", the video ends.

Band:

Doh

Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh (Hah!)

Marcus:

Don't believe me, just watch

Band:

Doh

Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh (Hah!)

Marcus:

Don't believe me, just watch

Hey, hey, hey, oh!

Marcus/Band:

Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up (Marcus: say whaa?!)

Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up

Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up (Marcus: say whaa?!)

Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up

Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up (Marcus: say whaa?!)

Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up

Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up (Marcus: say whaa?!)

Uptown Funk you up

Mark R.:

Aaaaaaow!

Greg

The date didn't go out the way I wanted it to. Sure, I enjoyed Kari's company, but something in the back of my mind kept nagging at the idea that I was meant to be with Anya. Kari and I stood at the White House front door. "Well, this is it," I said. "Yeah. I had a good time with you, but like I said, I can't think of you as anything more than a big brother. A really cool big brother. -Not, not to outdo Tai, of course." "Yeah. Besides, you're too young for me, and I could never compete with T.K." She let out a sympathetic frown. "Aww, don't say that. T.K.'s a great guy, but so are you. I can't help it if I have more history with him. Plus, you've got to get back with Anya. Why don't you just propose to her? That's what she wants." "It's more complicated than that. We'll have to talk about it later." She perked up again. "OK."

We'd raised about $250,000 for The Relena Norstein Foundation. I presented Thomas with a stack of checks. "What are these for?" he asked me. "The foundation, silly. I figure the more money you have, the more research you can do for your sister. All you have to do now is the paperwork to set it up and appoint people to work for you so you can stay here with the band." He examined the checks, then looked back to me. "Thank you so much." "Don't mention it."

Thomas

Late that night, I was doing my meditation as usual, when Marcus decided to join me. "Hello." "Hey there." We meditated for about 15 minutes or so silently. "Marcus?" "Yeah?" "I, um... I was wrong in my analysis of you. Your strategy is actually... quite effective. I've discovered that you and I are not all that different. That is, we have a striking number of similarities." "You don't say. Thomas H. Norstein stumbling for words. Well well. OK man, I'll try not to get onto you too much. Friends?" He offered his fist. I bumped it. "Friends."

Author's Notes:

We're playing around with history here because "Uptown Funk" was released in November 2014. However, I'm sure the Obama women would've loved it.

Obama's speech about the papers is an Americanized version of a speech given in an episode of the BBC sitcom Yes, Prime Minister.

"There's something to drinking and urinating at the same time. Balance." is actually a quote from Quinton Flynn himself on his Facebook page. I said I'd use it in a fanfic, and he "liked" it.

Next chapter, there's going to be a proposal. I'm just sayin'.