Chapter 18
When Arya opened her eyes the first thing she saw was the back of Gendry's arm.
She flinched back, pushing herself away from him.
I do cuddle!
She thought in horror, feeling her face heat with embarrassment and anger towards herself.
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid.
Her eyes glanced over to Gendry, who had his back to her.
The impression of her body on the mattress was still visible right behind him.
She combed her fingers through her hair to calm herself. It was still stiff from all the hair product Tom applied last night. Or rather, earlier this morning.
A shower is in order, she thought as she kicked the covers off herself and jumped off the bed. She stole a last glance towards Gendry.
The muscles on his back were corded, despite the fact that he was sleeping.
Her stomach turned with nervousness.
What is happening to you Arya? She asked herself, taking in a deep breath.
There had been more than one occasion where Arya had seen a shirtless guy.
The gym.
The public pool.
That summer at the beach when she was on vacation with the Baratheons.
Never before had a man's body made her feel this way though.
If anything, she frowned in disgust at the comments Sansa made about men.
This was different though.
This was Gendry.
Gendry her friend. The guy who arrested her, when no one else would.
The guy that was actually willing to wrestle her, rather than call her a little silly girl for even thinking about wrestling a guy. The guy who said she wasn't ordinary; who ran away with her and felt the silly need to protect her.
He was stubborn, and an over thinker. He teased her endlessly.
But Arya couldn't forget the feeling she felt when he said they were two against four when Tom and the rest took them captive.
He actually considered her someone strong enough to fight men. He considered her his equal. And that had made Arya's insides jump in a way no one else had caused before.
"I think I like him." she confessed to herself inside the shower.
And then tears of anger welled up in her eyes, and she didn't fight them.
She just let the water wash them away, hoping it also washed away the feelings she felt.
In her head she replayed moments. His self defense lessons, and the fire that they ignited inside her chest.
The way her stomach jumped every time he rolled his eyes at her, or smiled at her.
When he would say her name. When he would give her that pissed off look that let her know she had been reckless.
He stood by me.
He had his own demons to face and run from. His father was Robert Baratheon, and according to Jaqen, Cersei wanted him dead.
Gendry should get as far away from her and everyone else involved in this entire mess.
But he stood by her.
He was her only friend in the world.
The bed was empty when Arya walked out of the shower in the now clean jeans and shirt Yoren had brought for her. She made a mental note to do the laundry next time it needed to be done.
But then she remembered her conversation with Jaqen the night before, and realized she wasn't sure if that would be possible now.
Gendry had bugged her endlessly the night before, and they had even argued when she wouldn't tell him the plan.
"You just met the guy, and youre gonna tell me that... that all of a sudden you trust him, and you can't tell me shit?!"
Arya let her glance fall to the floor, "No," she answered hesitantly. "It's compicated." she finally told him, not meeting his eyes.
"Fine." he said, "Fuck it. Whatever." he turned away from her, but she caught him by the arm, half expecting him to pull away from her.
He didn't.
"You're my friend. My only friend. Everything's gone so wrong, and you are the only person I completely trust. Jaqen said..."
Gendry gently pulled away from her then, looking into her eyes for a brief moment, "It's fine. You don't have to tell me." he said weakly. His words and expression drained of the anger he had had moments ago. "We should go to sleep."
And he turned away from Arya, slipping out of Tom's pants and into bed in just his briefs, turning his back to Arya's side of the bed.
"I'll tell him." she said out loud towards the side of the bed he had slept in.
They were both stubborn and proud and that was an awful combination. But she would find a way of making him know how much she actually cared for his friendship and how much she actually trusted him.
Gendry and the rest of the men were sitting at the table when Arya walked out of the room.
Only Harwin and Gendry were eating.
Tom, Lem and Anguy looked half dead and hungover.
"Rough night?" Arya called to them with a small smile as she sat on the seat next to Lem. Only Anguy looked up with a wince that might have been a smile.
She glanced at Gendry. The area arround his stitches was an aggressive violet-red and it looked a bit swollen, but thankfully not infected.
It would be the first thing she would tell her mother when she saw her again, Arya thought with a small smile.
Maybe she sucked at needle work, unlike Sansa, but she had successfully stitched up Gendry. She was sure Sansa would have fainted, or grown sick at the sight of the gash.
Gendry was looking at all the men expectantly. Arya's eyes furrowed, confused.
Tom cleared his throat at the end of the table suddenly, making her turn her attention to him.
"We owe you an apology." He said lowly, clearing his throat a second time, "The strip club. We shouldn't have put you through that. It was Jaqen's orders, but we should have found a better way to get you to him."
"It's ok." Arya told him with a shrug, turning to Gendry.
She didn't doubt he had given them the same speech he had given Harwin earlier that morning after she had stitched him up.
"No it's not." Gendry said with a hint of irritation.
"It's not." Lem said stupidly, shaking his head at the table, never looking up. It made Arya want to snicker.
"You don't take innocent little girls to a strip club." Anguy added.
Arya made a face. "I'm not innocent!"
That brought light laughter from the men. All except Gendry.
"Yes you are!" he said and at that, Anguy looked up at Gendry, his eyes growing wide.
"Oh fuck! Your face!" he cried, reaching over with a finger, probing at Gendry's brow before Gendry smacked his hand away.
"You cut him open Lem!" Tom cried, amused.
Arya was surprised, since that was the first thing that drew the eyes when you looked at Gendry's face, that they were just now noticing the stitches.
"Who stitched you up?" Anguy asked, glancing meaningfully at Arya.
"I did." she answered before Gendry could, and crossed her arms over her chest, daring Anguy to make fun.
"I doubt your delicate feminine touch could have done a better job." Gendry told Anguy with a smile, catching Arya's eyes.
She smiled too, looking down shyly.
Oh my God, Ive turned into Sansa.
She felt her face redden at the realization.
"She's blushing!" Tom cried, pointing at her face.
Arya's eyes grew wide, and her forehead wrinkled at the accusation. Everyone's eyes were on her when she looked up at the men, and that made her face heat even more.
"No I'm not! she yelled like a child and pushed her chair back, stomping towards the balcony.
"Sure, you notice that, but not the bloody stitches!" she heard Harwin tell Tom before she closed the door behind her.
The cold air felt good against her warm face, and she took in several lungfuls, feeling in chill her lungs.
She heard the balcony door open behind her, and she was half expecting it to be Gendry, only to find out it was Harwin.
"Have you told him yet?" he asked behind her after a long moment of silence.
Arya rolled her eyes, and shook her head. "I don't like him." she lied.
"Not that." Harwin said with a small laugh. "I don't think you have to tell that to him. That's clear to everyone, even Lem."
That made Arya fume. So everyone could tell.
"I meant if you've told him you have to leave him behind?"
Arya flinched at the words. "No." she said stiffly.
Behind her, Harwin sighed.
"Well, you should. You owe it to him." he told her, sounding so much like her father it brought tears to her eyes.
When she turned to face him, but he was gone, and she wiped at the tears and followed him inside.
xxxxxxxxxx
Brienne pulled at a loose thread on the sleeve of her sweater, balling it up between her thumb and her index as she sat in the hospital waiting room.
Renly had first heard about his brother over the television and had tried to visit him that same night, but Cersei didn't allow it.
Robert, Stannis and Renly had never been close, but Renly still felt a bit sad over the situation with Robert.
After being turned away though, Renly had pretended like it hadn't hurt him, and had gone about his days like nothing had happened, until Brienne finally convinced him about trying to visit Robert again after she had seen the report on the television about Robert and his persistent comma.
Renly had finally given in and had even asked Brienne accompany him.
The feelings that stirred inside her upset her more than she wished.
You would have expected Ren to ask Loras to accompany him, rather than her, but he had asked her, and that had made her insides turn to jello and she hated it.
Renly walked into the waiting room, and she could tell he had been crying.
"How is he?" Brienne asked as she stood from her seat and crossed over to Renly.
He merely shook his head and she found herself hugging him as he began to sob against her shoulder.
"Shhh." she whispered in her deep voice, feeling her eyes fill with tears. "I so sorry Ren. I'm right here."
She whispered over and over, rubbing his arms soothingly.
He pulled away slowly and looked into her eyes, his face was just a few inches away from hers.
"Thank you Brienne. You're such a good friend." he whispered and leaned in to kiss her softly near her lips.
She closed her eyes, swallowing hard.
"Renly?" she heard someone call, and when she opened her eyes, she saw Cersei Baratheon.
Brienne recognized her, as well as her children, from the news reports.
With her was the man who had called Brienne over to his car back at the station a few days ago, and she realized this was probably her twin brother, Jaime Lannister.
"Cersei." Renly said, pulling himself free of Brienne's embrace, taking a few steps towards his sister in law.
"I thought I made myself clear, Renly, I don't want..."
Renly cut her off. "Yes, yes. You made yourself very clear. We were just leaving." he told her rudely, grabbing Brienne's hand and pulling her down the hall towards the exit.
Her eyes met the man's for just a second, and a shiver ran down her spine.
xxxxxxxxxx
After breakfast Gendry and Arya packed the few belongings they had waited downstairs for Tom to bring the truck around.
It seemed that every day that passed grew colder, bringing more snow, and more wind.
Her father had been right when he had told her that this winter would be an especially cold one.
All trains and flights were cancelled and so their only choice was to drive.
Anguy chattered on as usual, and Arya really wished he would just shut up for a moment.
She had asked Tom if Gendry and her could ride in the camper, since she wanted the privacy to talk to him, but Tom said it would be way too cold, and Arya didn't argue.
It was almost impossible to have any real privacy with them, except when Gendry and her were in their bedroom.
They drove on for most of the morning, not stopping, until about 3, when it grew almost impossible to see anything through all the snow.
Lem had put chains on the tires, but even so, not long after they started driving again, did the truck begin to swerve on the road and Harwin suggested the stop for the day.
"I've never seen it snow like this before." Gendry told Arya, and she nodded.
This was crazy. A blizzard, no doubt. A monster blizzard out to get them, and swallow them whole.
"Me either." Anguy agreed.
They stopped at a hotel that stood right infront of the motorway, and Harwin checked them in while the rest smacked the snow off each other's coats and jackets that had collected quickly on their short run from the truck.
Arya was surprised Harwin got Gendry and her a room of their own, but she was sure that after the deal struck with Jaqen, he knew they wouldn't run.
As soon as they walked into their room and Gendry closed and locked the door behind him he turned to Arya.
"We should make a run for it. As soon as the storm ebbs a bit." he told her.
Arya took in a deep breath, and from the look on his face, she could tell he was expecting her to say what she said next.
"I can't."
He huffed out, rolling his eyes. "Can't or won't."
Arya closed her eyes.
She had been ready to tell him. She had been preparing her speech the entire ride here, but she found herself at a loss for words.
"Both." she let out weakly.
He rubbed a hand over his, letting out an exasperated grunt.
She realized she had to tell him. She just didn't want to.
Not because she didn't trust him, but because telling him, meant she would have to also tell him that she had to leave him behind, and she didn't want to tell him that, because she didn't want to leave him behind.
"It's complicated," she began to say, "but..."
"Really Arya?" he snapped at her, "Cause I'm a smart guy, so why don't you explain it to me?" he yelled, surprising her with his sudden anger.
Her breaths began to grow labored as she searched her mind for the best way to explain it all to him. He had a right to be upset. She surely would if she were in his shoes. Even if it hurt him, Harwin was right. She owed Gendry an explanation.
Gendry was staring at her, waiting for her answer. She finally opened her mouth to speak, but he spoke before her.
"I didn't have to do this." he whispered. "I didn't ask for any of this. For you to turn up at my place!" he began to raise his voice with every word. "I didn't have to come with you, and help you, and risk my life for you." he was yelling now. "I had my own shit to deal with. I had my own life. But I did! I came. I'm here, and I've risked my life for you. I did. Alright. I did."
Arya felt a fury rise inside her, and all other emotion was gone. All except the anger.
"Why did you?! Huh?" she demanded as she walked up to him and shoved him back forcefully. "You didn't have to. I didn't need you." her voice broke, and tears began to well in her eyes, but she choked them back. "I could have done all of this on my own." she shoved him again, "I didn't ask you for your help! I didn't ask you to risk your life, so why did you?Tell me! Why did you!" Her hands slammed against his shoulders once more, but he made no move to push her hands away. He only stood his ground.
"Tell me!" she yelled furiously.
His eyes met hers, and they were glazed with unshed tears. "I don't know." he whispered. "But I'm starting to think it was a mistake."
She blinked back, worrying her bottom lip against her teeth, stealing a quick breath before she spoke again.
"Well, it's not too late. You can still leave. No one is stopping you."
There was a long, pause before he finally spoke.
"Maybe I will." he said through clenched teeth as he turned and left the room.
Arya closed her eyes, hoping that kept the tears from falling, but a few managed to escape, and she let them rest on her face.
She hated hurting Gendry.
Making him feel that she didn't care or appreciate him.
But it was easier this way, she thought. For him to leave her, instead of her leaving him.
She was used to it. People always left her. Gendry would be just one more.
It was still snowing outside, and Gendry had left his jacket, so she was almost sure he hadn't left.
But when he didn't return right away, she began to grow restless and left the room for a walk.
She ended up at the lobby, and when she heard Tom's singing coming from the pub, she walked in and sat on a stool by the bar. The bar was full of ruddy faced men and and women. There was no doubt all were sheltering from the cold outside
She looked to her side and noticed Tom had a fairly pretty woman sitting on his lap as he sang in Spanish. Harwin sat across from them, drinking and clapping along to Tom's song.
Lem was in a different table, leaning in to whisper something into the ear of a woman, who in turn giggled thickly and leaned in to whisper something in his ear.
Anguy and Gendry were nowhere to be seen.
The bartender offered her a drink, but she refused it.
A man a few years older than Harwin sat himself next to her and said something to her in Catalan.
She didn't understand Catalan, and his breath stank of liquor, so she leaned away from him quick, making it even more difficult for her to catch anything he said.
"Get away!" she told him, and she moved to the empty stool next to her.
"Ah, you're english." he said in a thick accent. "I said, you are very beautiful." he said, before he hiccuped.
"And I said, get away, so bugger off." she said in a low voice, not wanting to attract attention to herself.
The old man moved so that he was once again sitting next to her. "What's your name, sweet peach?" he leaned into her once more, nearly falling off his stool and on her.
"I think she said bugger off." Gendry said as he caught the man before he fell on Arya. "So, leave her be."
Arya noticed the hard squeeze he gave the man's shoulder.
The man's eyes widened a bit as he eyes Gendry up and down, and for a moment, all the drunkenness seemed to drain out of him as he slid off the stool and walked away.
Gendry placed his beer on the bar and sat himself next to her, never meeting her eyes,
Arya, on the other hand, didn't tear her eyes off his face. After a while, he noticed.
"I know. I'm sorry." he said acidly, not sounding the least bit sorry. "I'm sure you could have handled that all on your own."
"Gendry, I... What I said... That wasn't the way I meant it."
"Yes it is." he said, cradling the beer bottle in his hands and turning it idly. "Now, go away. I want to drink this in peace. This is no place for little girls."
She knew he said the last on purpose, to spite her, and it worked, for she clenched her jaw to hold back her words.
"Gend.."
"I said, Go away." he told her slowly, marking every word, as if he were speaking to a child. He looked into her eyes then, and for the first time every Arya saw nothing in his blue eyes.
She rolled her eyes and whirled off the seat, running for the stairs, taking them two at a time until she was at their floor.
She took her second shower of the day, hoping it would calm her, and slipped in her bed, her hair still wet.
Later that night, she wasn't sure how late, she felt Gendry walk into the room. She opened her eyes a crack, and saw that he only turned on a table lamp and it was only so he could undress himself and drunkenly.
She stared at his slow moves from under her lashes, and was about to speak, when she saw him pull his pants off, briefs and all, exposing his bum.
Arya shut her eyes quickly, embarrassed that she'd witnessed that, but even more embarrassed that she wanted to open her eyes again.
She heard the click of the lamp as he turned it off, and opened her eyes again.
She was almost certain he would try and sleep on the floor, but to her surprise, he slipped into the bed next to her, as always giving her his back, and before long, he was snoring lightly.
Arya sat up on the bed and stared at his slightly uncovered shoulder for what felt like minutes.
"Good night Gendry." she finally said, when she was sure he was a sleep, and she slipped under the covers.
That night, she dreamt of blood. Blood, and death, and her father.
When she woke the, her chest felt heavy and hollow.
She rubbed at her eyes with her knuckles and rolled out of bed.
Gendry wasn't in bed anymore, but again, his jacket was still there.
She walked to the window and noticed it had stopped snowing, but the streets were thick with over a foot of snow.
Snow was Jon's favorite part about Winter.
She closed the curtains and changed into her jeans and shirt, and slipped into her boots.
With hope, they would leave today.
She splashed cold water on her face and hair, trying to placate it as much as she could, before she headed out of the room.
There was no answer in the room the others were staying in, so she took the lift downstairs.
They were probably at the pub, the drunks.
The elevator doors opened, and Arya furrowed her brows.
The lobby was dead.
No one was behind the front desk. All she could hear was a distant, canned voice from the television in the pub. When she followed the sound into the pub, she saw everyone standing and sitting around the television that hung from the ceiling. The bartender, the front desk clerk, a few hotel guests, the bell boy, Harwin and the guys, and Gendry.
On tv:
"...A neighbor called authorities when she saw light coming from one of the Stark residence's rooms. When the police broke in, they found Ned Stark's wife, Catelyn, dead in her husband's office. The death is still under investigation, but it seems that all clues point to suicide..."
"Who's going to tell her?" Tom whispered, his eyes still glued to the television.
Arya inhaled sharply, and everyone turned to face her. She sobbed out thickly, before turning away from them and running for the door. Someone called her name. Either Gendry or Harwin. But she kept running.
Out the hotel, across the snowy parking, until she came to the side of motorway, where she stopped.
Her chest heaving with every sob, and she found it hard to breath. Hard to move.
Snow covered everything. Everything around her was white. White swallowed up everything, except her.
Except the emptiness inside her. Except the pain.
The tears were cold on her face, but nothing compared to the cold inside her chest. That hollow that had been present ever since her father's death, was now an abyss, and she was falling in.
"Arya."
She turned slowly, facing Gendry, who stood a few feet away from her.
His breathing was hard, from the running, and rising in the air in small clouds.
"Arya" he said her name again.
And she ran. Ran towards him, until she collapsed into his chest, sobbing loudly.
"i've got you." he whispered against her forehead as his arms wrapped around her firmly, pulling her up to her feet.
She kept falling though, slipping from his iron grasp; but he kept his arms firm around her, repeating those same words.
"I've got you...
I won't let go...
I've got you."
Until she somehow felt the darkness that was pulling her become stronger that him, and she felt too heavy...
That's when he put an arm under her legs and picked her off the floor in one swift move move and craddled her against his chest, turning towards the hotel.
She clung to him, feeling the darkness swallow her up completely. And she gave in.
Jon, her father, and now ... her mother.
AN
I'm back. With another chapter. Las Vegas was bleh, but just cause it was work. Beautiful city though.
This chapter ... hoooo... well, it was a heavy one to write. This is where the story begins to change, cause as we all know, this scene ends with The Hound taking Arya, but it didn't happen that way.
SO... THank you all for your wonderful reviews. You're all amazing, and you make this story possible by reviewing.
I hope to reach my goal of 200 reviews by chapter (with both the Stark girl and that Stark girl) and we're almost there :)
also... once i reach chapter 20, I will go back and sorta clean up the story, for those of you interested in rereading it from the top, It'll be nice and clean and more clear.
so it'll be sorta like a that Stark girl marathon ... lol
Again, thanks for your reviews. I love you all...
PS: I really recommend you listen to Never Let me go by Florence for that last scene. It's what i was listening to and the scene echoes off the song