Bit later than I would have like but I struggled with connecting the various bits if this chapter together.
Thank you for all the reviews on the latest chapter!
Lyall Lupin had often heard the phrase 'it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' and he was always conflicted.
He would tend to disagree; the pain of losing his wife, his beautiful, kind, and compassionate Hope, would haunt him till his very last breath. Knowing he would never again hold her hand, keep her close, bring her tea in bed. They had only been able to send their son off to Hogwarts together four times. Instead of the full seven they should have covered. Having to see the look on Remus' face as he told him that his mother was gone, and how Remus had disconnected to deal with the grief. All the while taking care of Lyall as his life fell apart. He is able to revisit his best memories of Hope without it causing him great pain, but instead with a sense of gratitude that he got to have those moments with her at all. That is when he would start to agree with the statement.
The idea of never having met her, and living a life just one second ticking after the next for the rest of his days, made him shudder in hindsight. It was why he would look to his son with deep worry. When he finally got his feet back under him he realised how grown up Remus had become, or always had been. At barely 15 years old, Remus already knew he would never be able to gain employment befitting his education. Would never be able to live his life without hindrance at every-turn, never have someone to hold and be held by for the rest of his life. Never have his own family. Astonishingly, Lyall saw that his little boy had made peace with that, it was a fact, and there was no point wishing it were different. But Lyall wished, oh how he wished, that he knew what he had done to make his own son see himself as a burden on his family.
Once Remus' seventh year had finished, he came back to live with Lyall for a few months before Sirius Black had come and said that Remus could live in with him, no strings attached. In his words, 'mate, I have way too much money, most of it got in ways I don't want to think about too much. Let me do something good with it, let me take care of you'.
Lyall had often wondered if there was something more than platonic going on between Sirius and his boy. He had tried to approach his son about it, on the last day spent under his roof. Remus had just smiled, that seemingly content yet somehow still melancholic smile.
"You once told me that when your heart beats faster, your hands shake, and your knees go weak, that isn't love. When you are calm and at peace in their presence, you will know you have found the one to spend the rest of your life with. Sirius doesn't make me calm. Yes, he makes me laugh, he makes me happy, but he makes want to break things and rebel too."
He had laughed and smiled then, a good genuine smile, as Lyall dragged him into a hug. Told him how much he loved him and that he would miss him.
"I love you too, Dad."
That was probably the last uncomplicated conversation he had ever had with his son. A couple of years later, after the murder of the Potters and the miraculous defeat of Lord Voldemort, someone had knocked on his door. Lyall had opened the door to see his son, holding nothing and looking so lost and broken he had wanted to cry. While the rest of the world celebrated, he held Remus and rocked him slightly as they sat on the sofa, his only child sobbing into his shoulder. A week later of trailing around the house like a wraith and Remus was gone again. Leaving only a note that said he had to make his own way, that he couldn't rely on his father forever.
Over the years he saw him occasionally; just the two of them sitting by the fire drinking tea, or making dinner, discussing their lives. Or he received owls from Remus asking for advice, or describing his adventures. From the different tags on the owls, denoting country of origin, Lyall gathered that Remus was travelling all over Europe, particularly favouring the Scandinavian countries. His letters told stories of various beasts he had encountered, the jobs he had undertaken, and the new knowledge he had gained from various wizards and witches he had met along the way.
The visit just before he started his first term for Hogwarts, Remus needed somewhere safe to transform. It was then that Lyall realised how much damage a wizard could do to himself when apparating great distances and so frequently. No human, magical or otherwise, would have been able to survive swallowing a whole vial of Dittany concentrate. Where Remus had gotten it, Lyall would never know, but he figured the wolf had to be useful somehow. Unfortunately, it was the wolf that was causing Remus so much trouble. His hesitance to accept the DADA position, even though Lyall knew he was practically born for it, and his reluctance to form attachments.
He was clearly lonely, but unable to recognise it in himself.
It was at the end of Remus teaching year, after he had been outed as a werewolf and felt the need to flee, that he came back to Lyall again. Only this time, Lyall had something more to give him, than just advice and familial affection. An uncle that he had barely seen since he was a child had died, and Lyall was now the eldest remaining Lupin alive. They may not be an Ancient or Noble house of Pureblood origins, but they were one of the oldest Wizarding families in Britain. The Lupin line always giving at least one magical son, they could date back to when the name was written as Lupinus, on the Isles of Anglesey. The cottage left to him was in North Yorkshire and hadn't been touched in years. Lyall had offered to help Remus repair it, but predictably his son declined, thanked him, and told him not to worry about it.
But Lyall did worry.
The war restarted and he was just waiting for one of the Order members to tell him that they were sorry and that Remus was dead. No-one turned up, and only the odd, increasingly distressing, letter penned by Remus kept him informed of events.
That is, until one day, Lyall received a letter from his son saying he had something important to show him. He had to sit down for a few minutes.
- - - oOoOoOo - - -
15th August, 1998
It had come to the Lupins attention that Remus was being awarded an Order of Merlin, not only for his work in the war just past, but his original efforts in the First Wizarding War. Kingsley argued that he was the only one alive that had fought so actively in both Wars, and seen them both through to the very end after risking so much.
"I could give you a full list of the reasons why I am giving you this award, but I know that you'll find someway to politely decline each one. So, I'll just tell you this. I've already told everyone on the Wizangamot who is getting this award, and I refuse to change it now. The other witches and wizards that played a part actively fighting against Lord Voldemort will get their own medals of honour. But this award, is for you, Remus." Here, Kingsley had given him a stern look that bartered no argument and jabbed a finger in Remus chest, "I will pin the damn thing to your face while you sleep if I have to, do not challenge me."
Remus has been so shocked that he let his jaw drop open, and he could still hear the echoes of Tonks choking with laughter on the sofa, where she had thrown herself in hysterics.
So it was, that Remus John Lupin, Ex-Hogwarts Professor, and agreeable werewolf, was to be given an Order of Merlin, First Class. It was the day after Minister Shacklebolt's surprise visit that Remus decided now was the time to visit his father.
A week after sending a letter to one Lyall Lupin, and receiving an immediate positive reply, Remus floo'd his family to a wizarding village located just west of Cardiff. From there they trekked across meadows and down a narrow gravel road until they stood a few feet from the closed, dark oak door. The house had only one floor, but had many fenced areas that, Tonks noted, housed various vegetable plants. Pots lined the walls of the house, each with a different herb growing from it, and to the right of them there was a large pond, with fat newts lying on the paving stones surrounding it.
Now that they were here, the excitement Remus had felt at the prospect of introducing his family to his father left him. Instead, he felt nauseous and guilty. Where do you start when so much has happened and your father hadn't been clued in to any of it.
He noticed Teddy's hair had changed to a ridiculous shade of purple, no doubt trying to emulate the clump of lavender he was staring at. The beige coloured hat, that matched the mini jumper Molly had knitted for him, was doing nothing to hide the unnatural hair colour. Remus gave the hat a tug to stretch it over Teddy's fringe, while Tonks looked on at his struggle.
"Remus, for goodness sake, stop fiddling with it, you're gonna stretch it, then Teddy will be very unhappy with you."
Upon hearing his name, Teddy perked up and gazed at his father, who had resumed his efforts of getting the tiny woollen hat to stay over brightly coloured hair. The hat simply refused to obey, and a few eye burning tufts were still sticking out. Remus relented when Tonks gave his hand a slight smack.
"Don't tell me you're getting anxious now that we're actually here?" Tonks said, sounding a bit despairing but tinged with concern. "Don't you tend to fret before you act, not the other way around? From what you've told me about him, your father sounds very forgiving. I'm sure it will be fine."
"I just don't want to overload him. I mean, I already feel bad enough as it is. What am I going to say? Hi, sorry I haven't dropped in for the past few years, there was a war, I kind of died for a bit. Met a girl, like you wouldn't believe, I was a prat about it, go figure, but we're married now! Also, congrats, you're a grandfather, here, take this fluorescently coloured spawn."
"What?" a voice breathed behind them.
Turning around slowly, Tonks and Remus saw a man bordering on seventy, with one gloved hand holding onto several carrots, and the other holding a trowel. Even though he was covered in streaks of dirt, Tonks could immediately see the familial similarities between father and son. Lyall Lupin looked like a white haired, older, and less scarred version of Remus, blue eyes and all. He had the same gangly build, but was slightly leaner than his son.
"I think ... we should all get settled inside," Lyall suggested, still looking startled even as he passed them to get to his front door. "Or maybe we should sit out side? Yes, it's sunny, outside is good."
Tonks and Remus watched as Lyall retreated into the house, not noticing that he dragged mud in with him. Tonks turned to Remus with a completely blank expression, and he too turned, looking horrified, as she cleared her throat to speak.
"Well, you broached every single topic at once. Kudos."
- - - oOoOoOo - - -
Ten minutes later, Tonks and Teddy were settled in one of four conjured wicker chairs placed around a glass table on the patio outside the backdoor. Tonks had made an off hand comment about how unwise it was to leave her unattended around something so breakable, but turned to Remus and told him to 'help' his father in the kitchen.
Remus walked back into the house and saw his father attending to three cups of tea. He could smell the cinnamon from ten feet away, where he stood in the doorway, and knew the older man had gone to his default coping method. Chai tea.
"Need any help?" Remus croaked, feeling incredibly anxious.
"What?" Lyall asked, surprised to see him now hovering a couple of feet behind him. "Ah, no, I'm good, thank you."
"Ok."
Incredibly uncomfortable, Remus turned to go back outside but stopped in his tracks as his father spoke.
"Are you happy, Remus?"
The younger Lupin turned to look at the elders face. Seeing only concern and apprehension, he said, "Yes, very much so."
"Oh," Lyall immediately lunged forward to bring his only child into a hug, "I am so glad, Remus. So very glad." He sighed with relief and Remus clung back, burying his face into his fathers shoulder, uttering a whispered mantra of apologies.
"Shh, it's alright, it's alright. I know where your need to stay away from people stems from." Lyall pulled back to grab Remus shoulders and look him right in the eye, "but do you have any idea how frustrating it is trying to make you understand you needn't avoid everyone? Especially those who love you."
Remus snorted, "You and Dora are going to have that in common."
"Dora being the lovely woman you brought with you I assume?" a wry smile gracing Lyall's face.
Both men heard a short bark of laughter before it was quickly muffled. Remus withheld his own amusement as he turned to the still open back door.
"Eavesdropping doesn't become you, Dora!"
"Second nature being an Auror I'm afraid, hun. Constant vigilance and all that."
Lyall raised his eyebrows at that, walking round the side of Remus to give him a 'do tell me more' expression. It was completed by a smile that spoke of the promised privilege a parent gains when their offspring come baring a partner. The promise of sharing embarrassing childhood moments of said offspring to their significant other.
"Don't you dare," Remus breathed.
"Should have visited earlier with such juicy news. That'll teach you," Lyall chuckled patting his son gently on the back before collecting the cups of tea.
"Dad, please," Remus said, despairing as he watched his father disappear into the garden. He heard the words, 'so let me tell you a story about this time when he was seven' before he threw himself toward the garden.
- - - oOoOoOo - - -
Thankfully, no embarrassing stories were shared but only under promise that Remus answer any questions Tonks asked about his childhood honestly. He dreaded his acquiescence as soon as the agreement left his mouth.
Between the pair of them they managed to cover the past three years efficiently. Starting with how they met, which coincided with the tale of how Voldemort rose again. To how things got difficult with Sirius death and Remus personal issues getting in the way with developing a relationship with Tonks. Lyall had decided to interject here with a comment, as delicately as possible.
"Out of past curiosity, did you and Sirius ever progress anywhere?"
Remus nearly drowned in Chai, inhaling suddenly with shock, just as Tonks pointed an excited finger right at his face.
"I knew it! I knew you two were shagging back in the day!" Tonks exclaimed, completely forgetting that Remus father was sat opposite them, watching the pair with a pleased gleam in his eyes. Remus spluttered.
"What? No! We were not ... dating," he hissed.
"You don't have to be dating to-"
"There was nothing serious with ... Sirius," Remus hid his eyes with the palm of his hand, elbow resting on the table. "Can we move on?"
"I don't know. I've just discovered that unflappable, Professor Lupin does actually have a type," Tonks said, voice incredibly smug.
Remus folded his arms on the table before burying his face into them, groaning.
"Does he now?" Lyall had joined the verbal fray.
"Oh yes, it appears he has a thing for rebellious and the most mischievous members of the black family."
"Is that so? Do tell me more."
The next half an hour was spent with Tonks and Lyall chatting to one another effortlessly. Remus had to begrudgingly admit that they got on extremely well. Tonks had been the one worried she would embarrass herself, of course he would be the one to suffer that fate instead. He propped his chin on his still folded arms to watch their conversation, which eventually lead onto how their relationship had taken off.
"Figures everyone but you would think it was a marvellous idea," Lyall quipped.
"Oh, shush," Remus mumbled.
It was then that the conversation turned to the arrival of Teddy. Tonks had been on a path to completely gloss over Remus moment of complete madness, but he couldn't do it. He had to tell his father everything, including his less than admirable decisions.
"You left?!"
"I know, I know, believe me, I know," Remus straightened up in his chair. "I just, didn't want to subject a child to a world where he would be hated for his parentage. Something he couldn't control."
Lyall knew his thought process came from experience. An event that he couldn't control led to a friendless childhood, and a home that never stayed still. Yet, Remus, his own child, had never blamed him, his father, who was the cause for his lycanthropy.
"Remus, that child would still be there, and you would still be it's father, absent or not."
"I know," Remus said quietly, "I never said it was an intelligent decision."
Lyall looked from the purple haired baby curled up in Tonks arms, back to Remus, who had followed his gaze and was now looking at Teddy fondly. "You came back though."
"Yes, he did. Honestly, he was gone ... just over a day, tops? How many times do I have to say this," Tonks said.
"Dora, you're trivialising what I did. I should never have left, shouldn't even have considered it."
"But you came back," Tonks followed, speaking each word clearly and slowly. "That's all that matters to me now, ok?"
Now appeased that she had made both Lupin men understand her, she turned to the elder and asked "would you like to hold him?" She pointed down at the sleeping Teddy whose hair was starting to fade into his customary shade of turquoise.
"I wouldn't want to disturb him.." Lyall started, even though he had been looking at his grandson - a grandson he couldn't believe it - with longing for the past hour. Before he could say anything more, both parents moved to gently rouse Teddy from sleep and hand him over to the Lupin patriarch.
Cradling his grandson very carefully, he looked at his features, and the swiftly changing hair colours as Teddy woke up properly. The little boy smacked his lips before yawning, and investigating the new person holding him. Lyall looked back up at Remus and Tonks.
"A Metamorph?"
Tonks responded by blending her hair into the same cyan colour as her son, then grinning brightly.
"Ta-da!"
"You sure know how to pick them, don't you?" Lyall said, giving his son a look with one eyebrow raised. "Successful Auror, Mad-Eye's own protégé no less, a member of the Black family, Metamorph, and defender of Lycanthrope rights."
Remus just smiled, very happy and proud of his wife. Tonks shook her head to return her hair back to pink, as she looked at Remus practically glowing with joy at his fathers obvious approval. She had to admit, she felt really good too. It was a shame the impromptu and rather rushed introductions between Remus and her own parents hadn't gone nearly as well as this one. She'd been worrying about meeting his father for months, having already known that his mother had passed away when he was barely fourteen. However, she had worried needlessly, his father seemed to be very fond of her already. No doubt due to the shared love and concern they both held for Remus, both desperately wanting him to accept that they would always love him, and he would always be deserving of it.
Lyall was currently tickling Teddy under the chin, which the baby was finding highly amusing. Waving his arms rigidly in joy, hair flashing through various colours. The older man laughed softly, tickling the baby's middle now. He suddenly stopped, however, when he felt something rhythmically wiggling against the arm holding the infant. Lifting Teddy up, Lyall saw a tiny, wagging, blue tuft of a tail peeking out from the bottom of the woollen jumper. He look up at the parents, incredibly startled, as Tonks hid her giggles in her cup of tea. Remus openly chuckled and leaned forward to take Teddy from his father.
"He seems to have gained an affinity for canine morphs, we're not quite sure why," Remus explained, supporting Teddy against his shoulder, one hand on the back of his head and the other under his pyjama covered backside. The little blue tail was still wagging furiously.
"No idea," Lyall agreed, with a small smirk. Internally, he was overjoyed to see his son refer to his condition so lightly. He turned to the woman he knew was responsible for this and smiled at her gratefully.
"Thank you, for everything you've done for him," he whispered, leaning toward her so that hopefully only she would hear. He knew of his son's extra-sensitive hearing, but he seemed distracted by Teddy's antics and, therefore, probably wasn't paying attention.
"He does have something else to tell you though," Tonks whispered back, conspiratorially. "Don't you, Remus?"
"Huh?" he answered, distracted by booping Teddy's dog nose and watching the baby's eyes cross to look at his finger.
"About the thing Kingsley told you about?" Tonks prompted.
"Kingsley? ... oh, OH," he re-adjusted Teddy to sit across his lap, and cleared his throat. "Yes, it's ... Dad, I'm being given an award, it seems, by the Ministry. The ceremony is at the beginning of October and I can bring two people along with me." He paused for a second before continuing, "I want to bring you with me, if that's alright."
Lyall smiled at his son, but then looked quickly between him and Tonks.
"Surely, you want to take Miss Tonks with you?"
"That's Mrs. Lupin, ya' know," Tonks corrected, waggling her eyebrows in a fashion that had Remus poking her in the shoulder. Lyall regarded Remus.
"You know, I still can't believe you have a wife."
"Neither can I," Remus answered, leaning over to give Tonks a kiss on the cheek. "Dora has her own invite, so she is attending regardless, I can still bring an extra two people."
"What is this award exactly?" Lyall asked, "you never actually said." Remus muttered something that he couldn't quite catch, and Tonks pinched him in the thigh. "Sorry, didn't quite catch that, Remus."
"An Order of Merlin."
"An Order of Merlin!?"
"First Class," Tonks muttered, finishing off her tea to hide her smirk.
"So, do you want to come?" Remus asked, tentatively.
"You bet your ass I'm coming to that!" Lyall exclaimed, slumping against his chair staring off into space, and beaming with pride. "I think I might need some more tea."
"Right you are," Remus said quickly, re-positioning Teddy to his shoulder and standing. This day had gone so well that the usually quite loud pessimistic voice in his head was being overridden by the recently more dominant voice of optimism. A voice that sounded a lot like Sirius, kindly telling the other voice to get fucked and just enjoy the day.
Just as he passed into the house and headed for the teapot he heard his father address Tonks.
"A bloody Order of Merlin, a wife, a son, and reinstated as Hogwarts Professor. He really has been busy."
"You've no idea."
Next one hopefully focusing more on Tonks, as I noticed that I've written this story Remus-centric
The chapter is called Wolf Plant because Lyall means Wolf and I know Lupin is supposed to be a take on Lupine, but whenever I see I just think of the plant Lupin instead.