Chapter 17
Please ignore spelling and grammar mistakes. SM owns everything.
LPOV
It took me several minutes to finally realize what happened. Jacob has finally told me everything. Well almost. We still need to discuss many details. But, no matter how hard I tried, I could not help but feel hurt that he did not tell me. He still held back. I know he was going to tell me. I know that our previous misunderstanding had him on edge about any withheld information.
But it still hurt. And he loved bella. It hurts to even think that before me, he loved someone else. And, that girl was bella, who is a part of my family. Jealousy filled me. No, I cannot think like that. He is mine. He loves me not her. However, I still needed time to process all this.
I went back into my room to take a shower and clear my thoughts. I believe I was there for a long time because when I got out of the shower, mom was there. 'Hey sweetie. You ok?' she asked the moment she saw me.
I nodded at her in answer. I could see the relief on her face that this time jake and I properly talked and nothing bad happened. She will never admit but she trusts jake with me. 'I am happy to see no tears this time' she just confirmed my thoughts with a smirk.
I gave her a small smile. 'Tell me what are you thinking?' she asked after a few moments. I sat on the bed and took a deep breath. 'I think that he should have told me from the start. But I also feel that maybe he is right. After last time, I was probably not ready to hear more. Knowing about his .. umm .. first love, his infatuation with bella would have pushed me too far. If this was about some ex girlfriend who lived in other city or state, I probably would not mind. But she is here, right here, in front of his eyes.'
'I understand' mom agreed 'But, what else is troubling you?' she knows me too well.
'Mom. I.. I do not know the extent of their relationship. The way bella reacted after seeing him, I got that they were really close. I also understand that he loves me now. But ... but' I tried to tell her but it hurt too much.
'But you are afraid that he still have feelings for bella.' mom completed my sentence. I nodded while fighting tears. I cannot lose jacob. I just can't. He is it for me. Losing him will kill me. 'ssshhhh baby. Do not cry. It is going to be okay' mom cooed and hugged me.
'I can't lose him ma. I just can't. I love him so much. So much it hurts.' I cried silently on her shoulder. I heard dad enter my room. He stood besides us. 'I am sorry. I just' I tried to stop my tears.
'Do you love him?' dad suddenly asked startling me. I looked at him and nodded immediately. 'so much' I explained. He gave me his famous dimpled smile. 'You know that he loves you too right? More than anyone or anything.' I nodded again to answer his question. He continued with his speech though.
'Then why are you crying? You do not have to worry about anything. You know I am no jasper' I smiled at that 'But even I can see and feel that he loves you lilly. He would do anything for you. If you love him and he loves you than these details, his past, your past, nothing else matters.' he completed. I took some time to process his words.
'Thank you, dad. I am trying to understand. Really I am. I promise this time I will think everything through.' I told him. He smiled at me, kissed my forehead and left us alone. 'He is right you know' mom said. 'I know mom' my answer brought a smile on her beautiful face.
'You do not have to worry about jacob's feelings for bella. I can assure you that. But if are still worried then talk to him. Tell him what you think or suspect or fear. Communication is the key honey.' mom's advice was good as always.
So that is what I did, followed mom's advice. I called jacob. Morning had passed in dilemma and now it was afternoon. He should be at home because he had patrol in morning. Wait, he was at my house in the morning. What he was doing here when he had patrol? This question was the first thing on my mind and it came out of my mouth the moment jake picked up the phone. 'hello' he said.
'You had patrol this morning. Then what were you doing at my house?' I asked. 'huh' it was his response. 'Jacob' I sighed on the phone.
'Well, I am glad that you are still talking to me. I wanted to see you because my wolf was getting agitated. Maybe the wolf realized that something bad was going to happen. So I came to see you.' he explained.
'I will never stop talking to you jake. Never. Not especially after last time. Even if you start ignoring me, you won't get rid of me.' I told him truthfully. I heard him take a deep breath, maybe in relief. 'Is there a happy ever after?' he asked so suddenly that I was startled. So I asked 'What? I don't understand. What do you mean?'
'I mean that all I want is a happy ever after with you. But fate just keeps throwing problems at us.' he sighed on the other side. I nodded but then remembered that he cannot see me 'I know jacob. But you are my happy ever after, wherever you are. It feels right when I am with you and I want to feel that way for the rest of my life.'
'I want that too lilly.' I heard from the other side 'I love you' he said after few moments of silence. 'I love you too jake, more than anything.' few moments of silence followed again.
'I am afraid' I told him. 'Of what?' he asked with confusion lacing his voice. 'Of losing you' And I got a 'What?' in answer.
'I am yours lilly as you are mine. You are not going to lose me. My heart will beat for you till my last breath. We can handle anything that comes our way. Together' his words gave me the relief I so longed for.
After our phone conversation, I thought about everything. From the day I came to forks to the moment my phone conversation with jake ended.
Review or PM me. Jake and lilly are going through a lot. What you think will happen next?