They say everything becomes clearer in hindsight. Then again, they also say the only source of knowledge is through experience, so I suppose it really took living through it for me to be able to completely understand what having mitral valve regurgitation meant. Now that I have, the warning signs leading up to my surgery are as clear as day.

The first time I had a hint that something was wrong was midway through a Cheerios practice sometime towards the end of my junior year. In all honesty, the first signs weren't a major change from normal, just a little shortness of breath after exercising. At the time, I just figured it was because I was a little out of shape. Spring had just sprung, bringing more rigorous workouts with it, so it made perfect sense to me that I would be left huffing by the time we were done.

Unfortunately, things only got worse over the next eight months.

By the following November, I couldn't walk up a flight of steps without getting winded. I was also sleeping a lot more than normal. On weekends, I would feel the need to take naps halfway through the day, and falling asleep during class was increasingly becoming an issue.

In my defense, I was an extremely active member of my class at that time, which made all the symptoms not seem too surprising. I was the class president, co-head cheerleader, and lead choreographer for both the Cheerios and Glee club. On top of all the school stuff, I was also participating in dance classes several times a week. Needless to say, I had a lot on my plate, which made everything I had been experiencing only seem natural.

Then, there was my collapse. The big neon light that proved without a doubt that something was wrong.

It was a chilly mid-December morning, and everything was proceeding just like any other day. I had arrived early at the dance studio to go over the choreography for our upcoming winter showcase. As the day progressed, I started to notice my heart racing, but that's normal while dancing, right? Figuring it was nothing to worry about, I just ignored it, but it continued to persistently demand my attention, which started to worry me. Suddenly, I stopped mid-routine among the sea of my peers, fighting to breathe as I clutched a hand to my chest and held on for dear life. The entire room started spinning as I noticed the other dancers around me stopped to find out what was wrong.

The next thing I knew, I was stumbling to the floor and blacked out.

I had awoken in a cold sweat that morning, which really wasn't anything new after going through a similar progression the past several weeks. Every night, I would force myself to fall asleep, relive the events leading up to my collapse, and then jolt awake, only to find out that I still had hours to go before I had to get up for work.

It was always the same routine. At least, it was for this time of year.

December always had a way of bringing these nightmares in with the cold, much to my dismay. I'm sure it goes without saying that I didn't necessarily enjoy having to go through this same cycle every single year. If anything, I absolutely hated it, but there wasn't much I could do to stop it. Over time, I just learned to bear with it until the nightmares had passed.

That was my one and only solution.

"Brittany, uh, Spears?" I heard someone suddenly call out, drawing me out of my thoughts. Looking over to the pick-up counter, I noticed the barista glancing around the spacious seating area with a confused but polite smile.

"Actually, it's Brittany S. Pierce, but thank you," I corrected with a grin of my own as I stood up to make my way towards him.

"Oh, sorry about that. Cassie likes making jokes out of people's names sometimes," the boy informed as he handed over the drink, tipping his head towards the girl behind the register who was focused on taking another person's order.

"Oh, don't even worry about it. I promise this is not the first time someone has made the connection. Anyways, thanks for the coffee!" I reply, raising the cup up slightly in a gesture of appreciation.

Giving a slight nod of his head, he returned the sentiment by responding, "No problem. Hope to see you again!"

Having received what I came for, I turned to exit the establishment. Stepping out into the chilly morning air, I scrunched up my shoulders and pulled the collar of my jacket tighter around my neck to hopefully block out some of the cold. My plan of semi-bundling up was foiled, however, once I heard my cellphone start to ring.

Answering the call, I greeted, "Hey, Mom. What's up?"

"Nothing much. Your father and I just started making brunch. You're still coming over, right?"

I couldn't help but release a giggle as I rolled my eyes at the query. "Mom, you've already asked me this a hundred times. Yes, I am still coming over. I'm actually on my way right now."

"Oh, okay, so you'll be here in about ten?"

"Well, I'm coming straight over from work, so it will probably be more like fifteen minutes."

"Alright, we'll see you then, Sweetheart. Drive safe."

"Always do," I replied with a slight smirk before hanging up. By this time, I had crossed the small parking lot and made it to my car, getting in so I could continue the trip to my parents' house.

The drive turned out shorter than expected, with me making it just a minute or two past the ten minute mark. Once I had successfully parked the vehicle, I grabbed my tall latte and headed towards the front door. Not needing much of an introduction, I just walked right in and went to the kitchen where I knew I could find my parents.

"Hey, Mom and Dad," I greeted as soon as I spotted them still preparing our food. Turning around from his spot by the stove, my dad gave me a wide grin. Not wanting him to have to leave his posted, I quickly crossed the room and allowed him to wrap me up in a one-armed hug as he continued to stir the pan of scrambled eggs with the spatula in his hand.

"Hey, Honey. How have you been?" he questioned before pressing a firm kiss to the top of my head.

"I'm good. Tired, but good," I answer honestly as he released his arm from around me. Suddenly, I noticed his eyes drift down to the cup in my hand. He didn't have to say anything for me to know what he was thinking. His inquisitive expression said it all. Feeling the need to clarify why I was suddenly drinking a beverage he and my mother both knew I had completely sworn off, I explained, "I was dragging a bit this morning, so I decided to get some coffee to help me get through the rest of the day. Don't worry, this is the smallest size they had available."

Despite my verbal affirmation, we both ended up entering a silent conversation regarding whether or not everything was really alright. He was expressing his concerns because he knew how much I hated caffeine's effect on my body, especially the way it made my heart race, but I quickly assured him that I would be okay. This was just a one-time thing.

Realizing that we had both finished our quiet exchange, my mom inquired, "So, what is the elusive Santana up to today?"

"Oh, just doing some work on a case. She's actually supposed to be coming over sometime this afternoon."

"I still cannot believe you haven't brought her by yet. It would be nice to meet the girl who's making my daughter so happy," she teased with a sarcastic smirk. She knew just as well as I did that our schedules just haven't worked out the way we would have liked them to. There was one thing I now had, however, that could at least hold her over for the time being.

"Well, I don't know how much this will help, but Quinn actually took a picture of us after the game this past weekend and sent it to me," I offer as I pulled out my phone. Bringing up my photo album, I tapped on the picture I was looking for and handed the device over to the other woman.

"Oh my goodness! She's absolutely gorgeous!" she gushed as she allowed my father to see the photo of San sitting sideways on my lap with my arms securely wrapped around her waist; both of us sporting wide grins as we looked up into the camera.

"Tell me about it," I commented with a lovesick grin. There was no need to hide it. Everyone already knew I was completely smitten. "Anyways, I'm going to go find Tubbs while you guys finish up the breakfast burritos."

"Alright, I'll come up and let you know when we're through. It should only take another minute or two," Mom responded as she handed the device back to me. "He's probably up in your room somewhere, if that helps."

"Okay, thanks," I reply as I shove the phone into my pocket. Leaving them to their work, I made my way upstairs and to my old room. Everything was just as I left it with old pictures lining the walls and shelves packed with dance trophies. As always, I tried not to focus on the latter. Sometimes, it just hurt too much to remember something that used to bring me so much joy.

Not giving the subject any more thought, I glanced over to the bed to find my cat curled up into a ball. "Hey, Lord Tubbington," I called out to the slumbering feline. Realizing my presence, the cat snapped his head up and made a little chirping sound. Actually, it was more like a squawk, but same difference.

Setting the latte down on the dresser, I padded across the room to lie down next to him. Once I was comfortable, I began running my hand from the top of his head to the tip of this tail, saying, "I see you're still pretty intent on claiming this room as your own. You're lucky I don't care or else you'd be locked out of here for good."

L.T. must not have found my teasing very amusing because he release a big yawn and laid his head back down on the mattress to get back to his nap.

Smiling a little at his relaxed form, I joked, "Well, I'm glad at least one of us is sleeping."

"You know, you should probably take him with you when you leave today. He always likes to being over at your place around this time of year so he can keep an eye on you and make sure you're okay," my mother's voice called out from somewhere behind me.

Rolling over to face her, I sat up and replied, "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mom, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't really care all that much."

"You haven't seen him lately, Britt," the woman insisted. "For the past few days, he's been really antsy and pacing all over the house. He's also slept in here every night for the past two weeks, which is weird since he usually prefers your father's recliner."

"Okay, well, we'll see how he reacts when I go to leave and just take it from there. He's always been pretty good about letting me know when he wants to come over."

Sending me a nod in agreement, the woman added, "The food is ready, by the way."

"Awesome! I'm starving," I responded with a broad grin as I pushed myself up from the bed, following my mother back down the stairs to eat.

I ended up staying there for the next several hours until finally announcing that it was time for me to go. Giving them each a farewell hug, I promised that I would try my best to bring Santana by soon to meet them and turned to head out. Just as I was about to open the door, however, I felt something rub up against my leg.

Shifting my gaze to the floor below, I found Lord Tubbington weaving his way between my legs as he rubbed up against their sides. He must have grown impatient of my lack of response at some point because he soon stood up on his hind legs so he paw at my thigh.

"What is it, Tubbs?" I asked as I stared down at the feline demanding my attention. He let out another croaking noise, which didn't really help explain much. L.T. must have realized that he was going to have to spell it out for me because before I knew it, he was dashing off into our washroom. Following his lead, I walk into the room to find him trying to open the door to his kennel with his paw.

"See, I told you he wanted to go with you," my mother chuckled as soon as she saw what he was doing.

I couldn't help but smile at the cat's persistence as he continued his attempts to pry open the barrier. Feeling the need to help him out, I stepped forward and released the latch that was holding it closed. Lord Tubbington instantly darted inside as soon as it was open, which made me laugh.

"Wow, I've never seen you this excited to come over before. Did you and that calico have a falling out?" I joked as I re-secured the lock on the carrier door.

Little did I know what I would soon find my answer, which was apparently no seeing as how the cat in question was waiting by the front door whenever I walked out with Tubbs in hand. I allowed the pair to exchange a series of meows just in case he needed to tell her where he was going before loading him into the passenger seat of my car. Once we were out of the driveway, I glanced over at the large cat beside me and asked, "Did you get to tell your girlfriend good-bye, Tubbs?"

The cat let out a small chirp, which I suppose was meant to be a yes.

Santana showed up about an hour later. By that time, I had already tidied up the house and gotten L.T. all set up for his stay, however long that would be. Hearing a knock at the door, I put down the food and water bowl I had prepared for him and walked over to the front door. After checking the peephole, I opened the door and greeted, "Hey, Babe!"

"Hey, yourself," she returned as she rose up on the tips of her toes to give me a small peck. "How was brunch with the fam?"

"It was good. They asked about you."

"Oh, did they?" the brunette joked with a smirk. I was about to confirm the response when I suddenly heard a muffled thump. Looking over, I spotted Lord Tubbington getting ready to lay down on the couch.

"Um, Britt? Did you get a cat?" Santana asked, drawing my attention back towards her.

"No, that's Lord Tubbington."

"I thought you said he live with your parents," she recalled with a confused look.

"He does, but he really wanted to come with me this time so I brought him along."

"Oh, okay," she answered without a second thought. Walking over to the couch, she sat down next to the feline, who gave her an unsure look. "Hi, Lord Tubbington," she greeted as she held out her hand to let him smell. "It's nice to finally meet you." L.T. still maintained his hesitant gaze but allowed her to gently pet his head despite his uneasiness. "I don't think he likes me very much," Santana noted as she continued to slowly stroke the cat.

"Actually, you're doing better than most people. He almost tore Rachel to pieces the first time he met her."

"Well, I bet she deserved it. Huh, Lord Tubbington?" Santana joked as she got a little braver and scratched him behind the ear.

Giggling at the accuracy of her statement, I responded, "Actually, she kind of did. She had never really been around a cat before so she just walked up without giving him time to get to know her and ended up paying the price. She still doesn't really step foot near him to this day." At the time, it wasn't very funny, but now looking back, I can't help but share in Santana's laughter as she pictured the encounter in her head.

"Yep, that definitely sounds like something Berry would do."

Between chuckles I clarified, "In her defense, we were only eleven, and it was the first time we had ever hung out at my house. She didn't know about his trust issues. Anyways, you ready to go pick up some dinner?"

"Yeah, let's go," she replied, giving Lord Tubbington one more scratch under his chin before standing back up.

She ended up staying until the early morning, and at that point, I just assumed letting her stay over. It wasn't until after she agreed to my proposal that I remembered why I had recently avoided spending the night with San. She still didn't know about my nightmares nor did I know how to tell her about them on such short notice. As we got ready for bed, I just prayed that tonight would be one of the nights I could elude my past.

Unfortunately, we don't always get what we want.

I suddenly awoke with a start, causing me to shoot into an upright position and immediately throw a hand over my chest to feel the hard pulsations of my heart. Though the beats were sporadic due to the nightmare, they were still there. That realization was enough to cause tears to start prickling at my eyes, just as they did every night that I was forced to go through this all over again.

Feeling the wet streaks making their way down my face, I brought the hand that wasn't glued to my chest up to cover my eyes. Hearing a quiet sob escape my lips, I slowly clutched the material of the shirt I was wearing in my hand to help keep me grounded to reality.

That's when I heard the faint sound of footsteps just outside the bedroom.

Sliding my fingers apart slightly, I peeked through the cracks to find Santana standing in the doorway with a glass of water in her hand, frozen in place with wide eyes staring right back at me. I'm sure this was not what she expected to see when she walked back into the room.

"Britt?" I heard her quietly call out to me, as if she was afraid to say anything louder than a whisper. "What's wrong?" she tentatively asked. I could tell by the look on her face that even in the dim lighting she could see how visibly shaken I was as my quivering hand grasped onto my shirt with all its strength.

My mind must have somehow gotten away from me because the next thing I knew, I was hearing the sound of the glass being placed on the small table beside the bed. Looking over, I discovered that she had made her way across the room and was preparing to slide back under the sheets.

As soon as she had scooted over to my side of the bed, she pulled me into her arms. "It's okay, Britt. You're going to be okay."

"Nightmare. I-I had a nightmare," I stuttered out as my body continued to tremor uncontrollably. The last thing I wanted her to think was that I was having a heart attack or something.

"Shh, it's okay," she gently hushed me, sensing that I was in hysterics. "I understand. You don't have to talk about it right now, though. We can talk about it in the morning if that's what you need."

Realizing that she had given me a temporary out, I nodded my head and sat there for another minute before slowly sliding back down into a laying position. Once San was resting beside me, I allowed her to pull me back into her protective arms. We were both quiet for a while, aside from my quiet sniffles and the occasional whimper, when Santana suddenly spoke up.

"Would it help if I turn on the light or something?"

"No, I just really need you to hold me," I answered honestly while somehow managing to bring myself even further into her embrace.

"Alright," she responded simply as she started to gently run her hand up and down my back in attempt to help calm me down. Slowly but surely, I felt my body begin to release its tension and give into the tiredness it felt as I fell back asleep.

My second wake-up call came in the form of my phone ringing. Groggily rolling over, I reached out and blindly searched for the device without bothering to open my eyes. It was only when I found it that I was forced to crack them open so I could see who was trying to reach me.

"Mmm, Britt, who is that?" Santana mumbled as she buried her face into the space between my shoulder blades.

"Sorry, San. I forgot to tell you that I'm the doctor on call this week. I'm sure it's just someone calling to talk about my hospitalized cases. Go ahead and go back to sleep. I'm going to go into the other room and take this real quick," I informed, slowly pulling the covers off from around my body.

As soon as I moved to step out of bed, I felt the pair of arms wrapped around my waist tighten considerably, pulling me back into the woman they belong to as she said, "You can stay. I don't mind."

"Alright, if you say so," I lazily chuckled out just before covering myself back up and answering the call. "Hello? Hey, Kara... Good morning to you, too… Uh-huh… Mhmm… Okay, just keep her on those antibiotics, and we'll see where that gets us over the next few days… Alright, perfect. How's Banjo doing? …Oh, awesome. I'm glad that he's finally eating… Yeah, go ahead and give him another fourth can of food with some dry kibbles to nibble on if he wants. You can also put a note on his account to start the oral meds tomorrow morning… Alright, thanks… Yeah, see you tomorrow… Okay, bye."

Rolling back over, I pressed a gentle kiss to Santana's forehead. Pulling away, I stared at her for a long moment with a dopey grin plastered on my face until I heard her suddenly ask, "Are you feeling better?"

That's when the realization hit me that last night was not a dream. Feeling the smile slip away, I answered, "Yeah, San. I'm feeling a lot better. Sorry you had to see that, though."

"Britt, being girlfriends is supposed to mean that we are in a partnership. We're in this together, okay?" The brunette waited for me to give her a sign that I understood, which came in the form of a feeble nod, before continuing, "Now, do you want to talk about what happened?"

Releasing a sigh, I replied, "It was just a reoccurring dream that I've had to deal with for a while now. Nothing new."

"When did they start?" she asked timidly, not knowing my boundaries concerning the topic.

"About three weeks ago would be the short answer. The longer answer would be my senior year of high school. The same year I had my surgery." Knowing there was still one more thing to come clean about, I added, "They come back every year around this time, usually around the time that I schedule my yearly check-up exam."

"So, does that mean you've already scheduled it?" she inquired as she continued to stare at me with eyes full of concern.

"Yeah, I have."

Taking a moment to think over all the newly acquired information, she informed, "Well, I hope you know I'll be going with you to this appointment now. Last night was just too much for me to let you do this on your own."

"I know. I understand," I conceded without a fight.

"Good," she stated as she gently pushed me onto my back so she could lay her head on my chest, allowing the quiet but constant beating of my heart to lull her to sleep. It was only once her breathing had evened out that I allowed myself to follow, hoping that I would find nothing but sweet dreams while wrapped up in her arms.

And for the first time in days, I did.

Author's Note:

Thank you, as always, for taking the time to read my chapters and leave feedback. I also wanted to point out that I really like to drop small hints of what's to come, so if I make light of something that is not discussed in the current chapter you are reading, you can almost bet that it will be foreshadowing what's to come.

Anyways, I think that's about it for now. Hope to see you all next time!