On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside."
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how?)
On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought...?)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness."
(And I am taking this...because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)
On packet of Nobbys'
Peanuts:-
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)