I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.
Secrets. Funny how, when you're about to be given something precious, something you've wanted for a long time, you suddenly feel nervous over taking it.
Everyone wants more than anything to be allowed into someone else's most secret self. Everyone wants to allow someone into their most secret self. Everyone feels so alone inside that their deepest wish is for someone to know their secret being, because then they are alone no longer. Don't we all long for this? Yet when it's offered it's frightening, because you might not live up to the desires of the one who bestows the gift. And frightening because you know that accepting such a gift means you'll want-perhaps be expected- to offer a similar gift in return. Which means giving your "self" away. And what's more frightening than that?
Sophia P.O.V
As I walked away from the car I literally wanted to hit myself. How could I drop something like that on him? Why the hell can't I control my mouth when I'm around Ian? He was never meant to know about what happened. How I lost our baby that I wasn't even aware of. Why do I keep digging myself a grave when it came to him? Maybe it's cause I got nostalgic with him taking care of me. How stupid was I to of got roofied? It's like I've come to this city and I'm not behaving like myself. I'm level headed I don't let things get to me and I certainly wouldn't of allowed someone to roofie me. I need to fix up and be that woman that I've been for last 13 years. I can't allow any of this to affect me further moving to Atlanta is about a new beginning. Not to let my past take control of my future. For me to somehow deal with all this without losing focus.
I made my way up to my suite as I walked in I notice there was bottles of booze everywhere. It looks like Loredana brought the party back here. I shook my head as I began to make my way to my room as I did notice about half a dozen people passed out on the suite floor. She really did go all out and I think she and I will be having words later. I walked into my room and luckily there wasn't anyone in here because if there was I would have flipped. I locked the door behind me so no random would come in. Really what I wanted to do was walk into Loredana room and give her a piece of my mind. From the looks of all this she didn't even care of the fact that she didn't seem me in the club. The more I thought about it the angrier I got so I decided a hot shower might help me cool down a little. Which it did but all that kept running through my mind was how out of all people that Ian to in a sense save me from possibly a horrible fate. He didn't need to do that maybe he did that because he felt that he owed me after the way he just upped and left. Or it could be the fact of how he broke my heart because he wanted to be the player and not settle down. Well he played the role of the bachelor pretty well and he didn't settle down with the string of women has been with. I think this relationship with Nina maybe the one. Am I jealous? Yeah… No….. I don't know. I guess the guy I thought I knew was gone but then this one act he did.
No I can't keep doing this to myself I refuse to let him get into my head I've done enough screwing up in the short time of me being here. If all goes well I'm going to be working with an amazing team and progressing my career. I will not allow Ian and my past or any feeling I may have ruin all that. So I calm myself down I left the apartment full of deadbeats and thought to take a little tour of the city that I may be calling home soon. I was kind of impressed in what Atlanta had to offer there was loads of thing that you could do places to go. I didn't look like I would be getting bored here anytime soon. So I found a coffee bar and stayed there for a while. As when I returned back to the hotel suite I expect all unknown people to be gone. I was trying to think of way to talk to Loredana about last night without it turning into a full blown argument. I got my cell out and began to flick though it I went to my twitter app and I notice I had couple of new notifications. When I check i had new followers Julie Plec, Michael Narducci then the name Ian Somerhalder. I felt my jaw drop as I kept looking at the notification. Why would he follow me? Why would he even do that? Did he take pleasure in torturing me? No I'm not going to let him get to me.
So right now I didn't know who I was pissed off with more Loredana or Ian for his stupid action. It was gone 2 in the afternoon before I headed back to the hotel. When I arrived the place was still a mess but minus the bodies. I could hear groans from the bathroom down the hall. As I went to go and see who it was I walked in on a very hung over Loredana.
"Hope it was all worth it" I spoke to her with disappointment in my voice while her head was still down the toilet.
"Please…. Keep the tone to a minimum" She groaned as she covered her face with her hands. She did look bad but right now I didn't care all she had was a hangover. While me I'm like a bomb ready to explode with Loredana abandoning me then Ian follow on twitter. I'm ready to blow at any moments.
"Did you even notice I was missing last night?" I asked her as she got up and held the counter to keep herself steady on her feet.
"You were with Dean I just thought you were getting your groove on" Is that what she thought? That I'm going to sleep with some random guy that was paying me some attention.
"Groove on? You being serious Loredana! You're so freaking unbelievable" I couldn't look at her no longer and I walked out of the bathroom before I did something I would regret.
"Sophia…." Loredana called out and I ignored her as I went into my room "Come on I thought after what happen…. God the room spinning" I sat on the bed and looked at her standing in the doorway looking pale as she held to the door frame. A part of me want to put her in bed and look after her but I refuse to do that because she didn't give me a second thought while she partied it up.
"That would be all the liquor you consumed" I spoke to her bitterly. She stood there with a sadden expression. The expression she would give when she was in the wrong.
"Sophia come on…" She approached the bed and sat next to me and rest her head on my shoulder. I think she needed to hear a few home truths right now.
"Do you know that guy Dean that you trusted me with. He roofied me." My stomach turned at the thought of what may of have happened. Loredana moved her head from my shoulder and looked at me horrified "That not the worst of it either. You wanna know who came to save my ass from god knows what!?" I never in a million years would have thought of him being there or the one stopping something terrible happening "Ian!" Loredana eyes widen as I mention his name.
"Ian? What? How was he even there…." She raised her voice slightly then held on to her head "God I'm not drinking ever…." She wined as she laid back on the bed.
"It's a club Loredana. Open to all" I spoke harshly as she wasn't getting any of this. It wasn't about Ian. It was the fact it should have been her who had my back not the guy who broke my heart playing hero.
"I'm so sorry Sophia." Looked at her and her face was filled with guilt as it all kind of hit her at once. "Look I just thought….." She shook her head and she sat up and placed her hand on top of mine "You know what it doesn't matter what I thought because I was wrong. I should have looked out for you not drinking myself into an oblivion. I forced you to come out when you didn't and if the unspeakable did happen I would never forgive myself. You have every right to hate me" I could never hate her. Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything
"I'm just mad I don't hate you." I placed my arm around her "Hate is a strong word. Let just say this is a lesson learnt. Sober or drunk we have each other's backs" I gave her a smile and she embraced me in a tight hug.
"I love you Sophia" She spoke into my arm awhile I soothed her back. I hoped she wasn't going to puke in my hair.
"Love you too crazy" I could hear her giggling as she pulled away. I called her crazy because at times she would do the most stupid thing. Classic example last night and bringing a whole load of stranger to our suite.
"So Ian was your knight in shining armour" I looked at her arching my brow as I didn't know what she was trying to imply "What come on your childhood sweetheart save you from some douche if that not a sign that there still something there. Then what is?" I knew what Loredana was getting at and I wasn't going to let her continue.
"It's not up for discussion." I told her firmly. If you hold back on the emotions-if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them-you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your heard even, you experience them fully and completely. I wasn't ready to open up or share any of that about Ian I had to put it all under lock and key like I have done. I can't let these emotions that are stirring up again control me.
So after that day it wasn't spoken about again. Loredana and I went back to Massachusetts to wrap up final part for the American Horror Story show. I was sent over the itinerary of the pilot for this new show The Originals. Well that one pilot episode we a true hit as all the dedicated fans of the show The Vampire Diaries. So it was confirmed that CW was going to start up this new chapter in the series of books written by L.J Smith. The cast were totally amazing and so welcoming. I was a little concerned at first as I find it difficult to make friends at times. Having Loredana by my side that wasn't an issue. We had a few random nights out with the girls and I have to admit Phoebe and Claire were truly as blast so welcoming. It appeared behind the scene Loredana had become a little close to one of the cast members. Joseph Morgan one of the lead charters of the show. Correction the lead charter as pretty much it's based on him. The only issue I had with this is the fact that Joseph was actually dating someone called Persia White. Yeah no matter how many times I had this conversation with Loredana all I got "We are just friends". While I saw otherwise the giggles between them and the lungful looks I just didn't like it. I had my own issue to deal with to be going into all that with Loredana.
From that one day when Ian followed me on Twitter he had been trying to get me to "talk". He had been asking to meet to talk for weeks but each and every time I refused. As I thought there nothing to discuss I didn't want to continue dragging up the past. We didn't need to be friends because we had gotten through the last 13 years of not being that. We never spoke to each other and cause now I'm working on the originals he final wants to make some kind of amends? I don't know if it was the guilt of be blurting out about losing the baby or was it the fact that he had left me in the hospital alone not knowing what going on. We both worked on two different sets we never crossed each other's paths and I had no reason to go anywhere near TVD set. So about a week ago I set Ian straight I tried to be nice to him because of this act of chivalry. This communication between us wasn't helping me in the slightest I was snapping for no reason. I was reminiscing over old times basically I was doing all the things I did not want to do. So I asked Ian polity to leave me alone that this meaning us being civil to one another isn't working. That there too much bad blood between us to move on from the past. From the moment I sent that I hadn't heard from him. I should feel relief. Right? Well I did but there was that little niggling feeling in the back of my mind but I couldn't let it control me. So I did what Sophia Romero always does and shuts it all off.
It was another day down the studio we were shooting the third episode which was kind of fun for me as I had to create like a masquerade ball custom. I was just finishing up Claire dress which I was kind of proud of because I wanted her to come across as dark angel. From my understanding of her charter Rebekah she was innocent and all the things that had happen to her had led her to be who was. That it wasn't in her control she was still that good person and wanted to be that person but circumstances made her who she is today. I could kind of relate to all that.
"Hey Sophia" I looked up to see Nina standing nervously in front me which took me by surprise. What was she doing here?
"Oh Nina. Hi" I turned and continued pinning the dress to avoid eye contact. I hadn't seen her since my little outburst. I was kind of hoping I didn't have to bump into her again. Then again she's come all this way to talk to me. First thing that hit my mind was the whole Ian getting in contract with me on Twitter. Right now I didn't need a girly bitching session.
"Look I know thing have been a little awkward between us." I heard her approaching me. God I didn't need this right now. I looked up at her and she gave me a small smile "I wanna clear the air" I began to frown as I didn't know what needed to be cleared.
"I don't think there much too clear Nina." I tried to not come across rude but what was there to clear up? Nina and I didn't work together we didn't actually need to interact so I didn't understand her gesture.
"Ian told me about what happened. I just thought we could have lunch and maybe talk?" Nina seemed like a really nice person she didn't look like she came here to cause trouble. What concerned me is what Ian may have told her.
"Yeah sure" Slipped out of my mouth I wanted to take it back but I couldn't. I feel an obligation to set the record straight. Not because I owed to set it straight for Nina but maybe for myself because if Nina thinks that old flame Ian and I had was going to be spark back up. Then I need to make it clear that would never happen.
Ian P.O.V
After dropping off Sophia and hearing the fact that one night I didn't just lose her but also our child. I honestly didn't know how to feel or to think. I went home feeling kind of numb and I knew that I had to do something to keep my mind off it all. So I went through my emails to do with my foundation to take my mind off what I had learnt. It worked for a little while until I went on to twitter and there she was as a recommendation Sophia Romero. I must have looked at her picture for hours the way she was smiling looking all sweet and innocent just as Sophia I always knew. One moment I was looking at her picture the next I clicked follow as soon as I did I regretted it. I wanted to unfollow but then I knew it would show up in her notifications. None of it was helping right now because all I was doing it making feel confused about my emotions. I had this perfect lady in my life right now a woman who I saw a future with. I couldn't let my past ruin that no matter how much I wanted an explanation or that I wanted to let her know how sorry I was. I needed to just let it go. So what was it all so hard for me to do that? With that question I knew I had to get out here. I took a chance and went over to Nina place because after telling her a small part my history she asked me to leave. So going to her place I didn't know what to expect.
When I got to Nina's it actually played out differently to how I thought it would. She was understanding and even asked me to stay with her which was something I didn't expect. I wanted to tell her what I had learn but I knew that would be a little too much for her to handle. So I kept it all to myself. Things were getting back on track with her and I didn't want anything else ruining it. From that one night of talking and just having a normal evening as a couple it put everything into prospective to me. That even with the messy past I have with Sophia somehow we had to overcome it and attempt to put the past behind us and may be friends. I knew which woman I wanted to be with and that was Nina but I couldn't carry this heavy weight no longer. So I messaged Sophia to try and resolve this I didn't expect a reply straight away. I didn't it must have been a couple of days before she did when she did I kept hearing the same thing that we should just leave the past. I thought maybe she was right and I tried to regain a connection with her just as friends. She was cold as ice with me which eventually lead to her basically leave her alone.
I don't know what it was about Sophia Romero that I couldn't leave well alone but I couldn't upset her further so I had to respect her wishes. The thing is in doing so I became a little snappy and Nina began to notice. Even how hard I tried to attempt to hide the fact that it bothered me that Sophia told me where to go. I was failing epically at it. Today was no different as shooting on the set I kept messing up my lines more than I usually do. I asked for a bit of time out and Julie was a little concerned about me asked what was going on with me. I throbbed it all off with some excuse which I knew she didn't buy but she left me to go back to my dressing room. I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes to regain my composure. I couldn't let all this affect my work life I needed to get a grip cause I'm slowly losing it. I heard a knock on my door.
"Five more minutes" I called out. As I knew it was one of the golfers wanting me back on set.
"Of course Mr Smolderholder" I heard a fake female voice and I knew exactly who it was. I opened my eyes to see Paul leaning against the door frame I couldn't help but laugh lightly as he always knew how to make me smile. "So what's with this funk you going through? The last time you were like this was when you and Nina were going through a rough patch" I didn't want Paul thinking that Nina and I had issue because truth was we were cool. Nina was being the lovable Nina as she always was it was me who had the issue.
"No we good" I assured him I didn't want Paul to think that we had issue. The thing about Paul he warned me about dating a co-star that if things get ugly it will be hard. Then when he found out about Nina and I well let just say he spent a whole night talking about what if goes bad. I didn't need a Paul Wesley lecture right now.
"So what is it?" He took a seat next to me "Family? Work? Foundation? I could go on for a while here" It was none of those but I didn't want to talk to Paul about my Sophia problem as when I spoke about to Nina it didn't go too well. I honestly don't know how he would react to my actions of that night. The fact that she's rolled into my life and shook it to the point that I don't even know what I'm doing.
"You know what!" I needed to get the focus off as Paul was pretty good at getting the truth out of me "You know what I need is a well deserve break from all this" I got up from the couch and went to the mini fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.
"Break from what? You've not even said what brothering you?" Paul was digging and I knew if I let him continue it would blurt it all out. I turned to him and he sat there with a sceptical look on his face meaning he was trying to read mine.
"I just need a break from Atlanta" Which was true I need a break from here. Then it kind of hit me maybe what I needed was like a crazy guy weekend. Go out get drunk have some fun and get Sophia Romero off my mind and let her control my emotions "Hey. You up for a guy weekend in New York? You know hit a few bars and clubs" I think NYC and Paul would be a great remedied to sort out my head with this situation I'm in right now.
"Well Torrey in LA and I have nothing else planned. Are you going to tell me the real reason for leaving town?" Once again Paul was fishing for the real reason and he wasn't going to give up.
"I told you I need a break…." I took a sip of my drink to hide my guilt of the truth behind it all.
"Ummmm sure. Well I'll leave you to arrange everything. Let me know the details" He wasn't totally convince but he made his way out of the room "Oh Ian" I looked up "Get your ass on set you know lunch is in an hour. If Kat and Candice get there first all the good stuff will be gone" I shook head as all Paul thought about half the time was food "Come on I'm serious. You have 60 seconds to get out there or I'll haul your ass out"
"You and your food Paul" You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analysing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on. That what I'm going to start doing I needed to appreciate what I had before me. I can't hold on what I could have had because it will drive me insane. So this trip to NYC is my way of letting go of my past with Sophia like a final goodbye and laying it all to rest.
Sophia P.O.V
Why did I agree to this lunch with Nina? Oh yeah cause I'm incredibly stupid that's why. Nina suggested for us to go to Rathbun's. I drove passed it a few times and it seemed like a nice place and I was told the food was pretty amazing. My only concern was what she wanted to talk about? What had Ian told her? Did he tell her about the baby? Cause if he had I don't know if I wanted to be having that conversation with Nina. I thought that we were going to go in separate cars but Nina insisted that she would drive. The car journey was awkward and I'm assuming the talk she wanted to have was going to be just as bad. We arrived and parked up the car as we approached the restaurant adoring fans were asking for her autograph and of course Nina took a picture with them. This was a side to Nina I hadn't seen part of me understood why Ian was with her. The way she was talking to these girls and telling them to stay in school how education was important. The way she answers there questions wasn't like some snotty celebrity she was really down to earth with it all. Then the dreaded question of when are you and Ian are going to get married? Nina and I share a look for a moment and she told the girls polity that she was having lunch with a friend.
We both walked into the restaurant and were shown to our table we ordered our food but the conversation was still a little stale. I could see that Nina wanted to talk about something particular but didn't know how to bring it up. So many possible things went through my mind of what Ian may have told her. I knew I had to breakup this tension that was clearly in the air.
"Food great" I spoke as I cut into continued to eat my four bean salad. It wasn't the best I had but I needed to say something.
"Yeah I love coming here. There crispy fires are to die for…and this blue cheese fondue…Delicious" Nina seemed to be in kinda high spirits or maybe she was always like this? "You want to try?" She moved her plate towards me. I don't know her that well but I think she avoiding the talk that she asked for.
"No it's okay thanks. So Nina you said that you wanted to talk. So what did you want to talk about?" I watched as she placed her fork down and looked at me for a moment. I didn't want to do the whole small talk she clearly had something on her mind so she needed to speak it.
"You know I really wanted to dislike you" I sat back in my seat as that was something I didn't know how to react to. I didn't know Nina she didn't know me the only thing we did have in common was Ian. "No sorry I didn't mean it like that. I just mean Your Ian ex-girlfriend and there always a reason why someone is someone ex" This what this was all about me being Ian ex? Maybe I need to set a few things straight with Nina as she really don't have anything to fear.
"Nina I really don't want to dwell past. I didn't come here to cause complications…." I began to say then she interrupted me.
"Well your little outburst proved otherwise" I regret doing that but when I saw Ian after 13 years it was like all that anger came to the surface. Believe me if I could turn back the clock I would of done it all so differently. "Look Sophia like I told you I just wanted to talk. I know about what happened that night. The night when you said Ian left you for dead" I didn't want to discuss that night least of all with a girl I hardly knew. I didn't even speak to my best friend about and even my family I'm not going to open up to Nina. If that what she actually expect then she's in for a disappointment.
"Nina I shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. I don't and I didn't want to cause complications in your relationship" This is one of those moment when you wish you could turn back time. I looked up to see Nina looking at me sceptically while arching her brow.
"You didn't want to cause complication but you drop the whole 'You left me for dead'" She was right with my outburst that I did it proved otherwise but I need her to know that I wasn't here to cause trouble.
"Well that was my mistake and I should have never brought it all up" I need to make it clear to Nina that my intension coming here were all professional it wasn't about Ian. "Look I see how happy your both are. I came here because I'm good at my job I didn't come here to ignite an old flame" Which was my actual reason I didn't even want to see Ian I couldn't because I knew what would happen and it did. Look where I'm at now. Here with his girlfriend trying to justify my reckless actions.
"You know I believe that. I believe you are amazing at what you do. I believe that you had no intentions of reignite that flame. You wanna know what else I believe?" Well at least she knew my intentions weren't to ruin their relationship "That you're still in love with Ian" I felt my jaw drop as she said those words. Is this what this talk was about that Nina thought I was still in love with Ian? I didn't know what to think right now but right now I was just stunned by her comment.
"Excuse me?" Were the only words that could come out of my mouth in that moment. As I honestly didn't know what else to really say after that accusation.
"Sophia. You two didn't break up because one of you fell out of love with one another" I wasn't going to listen to anymore of this I grabbed my purse and was about to leave. Nina caught my arm "It's because your brother Santino force Ian to leave you" I couldn't help but laugh as soon as Nina brought up Santino because "Why is that funny to you?" Nina spoke with confusion. I got out of her grip and got up I think Nina needed a wakeup call.
"You want to know why this is funny. It's because if that this story that Ian has spun you is true. What does that say about the man your with" Nina sat there a little taken back by my response. I got up from my seat and took out some money and placed it on the table. "This been nice and all but I don't think we will be doing it again." Nina looked at me regretfully but I had to walk away from her I couldn't keep going over and over the same thing. It's all in the past and I do not want to hold on to it anymore or for it to have control over me.
"Sophia….." Nina called out. I stopped in my tracks and turned to her.
"There nothing more to say Nina. I'm done with all this" With that I walked out of the restaurant. Walking away from bad situations and negative people sets a healthier tone for the rest of your life. It also gives those who do not know any better the opportunity to self-correct. There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right. Think good thoughts for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of life. Getting back up is living.
Ian P.O.V
So I arranged everything for Paul and I go head to New York I had it all planned out it was going to be one of those weekend we will never forget. My head wasn't in the game on set or with my foundation and I needed to blow off some steam to be back to the guy I was before all this happened. It's not all Sophia fault. It's just at times you think you can run away from your past but the thing is. No matter how much you run it will always come and haunt you when you least expect it. So this weekend was about me and my buddy hanging out and getting crazy. When I told Nina about this guy weekend she was okay with it. She wasn't actually being herself like she was quite a little withdrawn I asked if it was to do with going away. She insisted it had nothing to do with that. As she had a lot on her mind at the moment with the show and she was going to be auditioning for some cop movie she was put forward for. So I didn't push her too much as when Nina had these kind of audition she did close up to stay focus at time. So I didn't worry too much about it.
The night before I was due to leave to New York I took her to a nice restaurant and treated her how she deserved to be treated. Since this whole Sophia thing blew up Nina has supported me in so many ways. So I wanted to do the same for her. After the restaurant we took a nice moonlit walk I notice that she was on edge and I wanted to assure her a few thing. I think Nina thought with Sophia returning back in my life that it would change things between us. So I assured her that she is the only woman I want to be with that she is the only woman that I felt like myself with. Since what happened all those years ago that Nina made me feel like a better man that the person who I am now. Is down to her she pushed me with my acting and to pursue with my foundation. So I owed a lot to her for me being who I am. Nina seemed more relaxed after and when we got back to my place I showed her how much I was going to miss her over the long weekend break.
In the morning it was hard for me to tare myself away from her and with Paul constant honking outside it wasn't making it easy to say bye. Nina laughed it off and told me I should go before Paul kicks down the door or something. I gave her one final kiss and grabbed my case and headed out of the house. Paul sat in the car not looking amused whatsoever he really wasn't a morning person at times. I placed my case in the trunk and got into the car.
"Morning grumpy" I teased him as he looked like hell actually Paul looked like he hadn't slept. "Dude maybe I should drive" Paul arched his brow not looking amused "Hey what's up?" I could see from his expression he wasn't happy about something.
"It's Torrey…" He backed up the car on to the street "Apparently she's needed in LA for another two weeks" He spoke with frustration in his voice. The thing about Paul he didn't like to be apart from Torrey over long period of time.
"You know it's to do with her work" Sometimes he would get this notion in his head that he felt that she needed time away from him. Yeah Paul Wesley being paranoid I know crazy.
"Yeah your right. I just miss her at time" I know he found it difficult with Paul, Nina and I being so close I think at times he felt like gooseberry. I tried to not let him feel like that. "Anyway it's not about the ladies in our lives these next few days. It's about me and you buddy have great time" He was right this break was about him and I letting lose and having fun and when we do stuff like this we never fail to have a good time.
We arrived at the airport and checked in like always we were sighted by a few fans and took picture with them along with few photographers from the media. We hit the bar in the VIP lounge and had a few pre-flights drinks. This wasn't something I would normally do but today and this weekend we were gonna party like its 1999. That was the attitude that we both held and boy did we keep up with it. As soon as we checked into our hotel Paul was ordering room service it wasn't food it was a combination of drinks they had available. It was gone 7pm and we decided to go to Marquee from what Paul told me it was one of the hot spot in NYC. All I wanted was one night to not think about Sophia or how I messed everything up. I came here to finally let go and that's what I'm gonna do I'm not going back to Atlanta with these mixed up feeling. I have a great woman and I don't need to mess that all up over a girl I was once in love with.
We arrived at the club and Paul wasn't lying this place was amazing. We brought quite a crowed along with us which the owner gave us a VIP section to keep the screaming girls away. Who would have thought working on a TV show playing vampires would give you this kind of frame. I put it all down to that whole Twilight saga stuff that what got everyone wanting a vampire hottie or some cases a werewolf. So this night was going great I was having fun dancing getting drunk with my buddy. Really it was going all well until I saw this one girl who looked a splitting image of Sophia for a few moments I was convince it was her. I even approached her and that when I knew it wasn't instead it was a crazy fan who wouldn't let go of me. So I stuck around for picture and talked to her friends you know to be polite and all. Every moment I was standing that I was praying to get away. Which I did after about an hour. I walked over to our VIP section and sat down. I felt like I was tripping or something because I swore that she looked like Sophia and she looked nothing like her. What the hell is wrong with me?
"Come on you can't be missing Nina that much" Paul snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see him lounging on the couch with a bottle of Cristal in his hand "We here to party to forget about the ladies in our life" He took a swig from the bottle. He really wanted to party tonight from the looks of it.
"No it's no Nina" I told him firmly I didn't want him to think that I was having issue with Nina when I wasn't. I was having issue with myself.
"Ian I've known you for years and there something up… So talk" He sat up and leaned forward and had his serious face on or attempting to have one. God knows how much he had been drinking while I was gone.
"You know that new head of the wardrobe department…" I began to say and a huge grin appeared on his face as he cut me off.
"Sophia….. Romero" He spoke her name with an accent which kind of threw me. "I'm telling you if I wasn't a married man I would definitely….." I didn't want to hear what Paul would like to do with her so before he could tell me I cut him off.
"She's my ex" I watched as Paul jaw dropped as I told him that. He sat back on the couch and looked taken back.
"Ohhhhh" Was the only words he said before take a swig from the bottle.
"Yeah exactly. The way things ended with us weren't great. She's back and….." I didn't know how I was going to say this. Paul was my friend but he was also Nina too and I didn't want to put him in a situation where he going to feel awkward.
"You still have feeling for her…" He spoke flatly I didn't expect him to say that. Was it that obvious? "Smoldy I know that look. You're still in love with her" No I couldn't be in love with Sophia I was with Nina. I loved Nina. Paul taking this all out of context because I brought up that she was my ex and his assuming that there still feelings.
"Nooo… I love Nina" I insisted as I need him to know that but Paul didn't look overly convinced.
"Okay just give me the run down why you broke up?" I looked at him and I honestly didn't know what to say. I broke up with her cause her brother threaten to tell her lies? Or the fact she got run over and I left her literally for dead. Then to find out that not only that night I lost her but I lost also our child. "I don't know if the music but I can't hear no words coming out of your mouth" Paul spoke with sarcasm. I couldn't tell him the reason why it ended so badly. I know Nina knew but even as much as she tries to act the same with me it isn't the same.
"I'm not in love with her. I love Nina. I wanted to spend my life with Nina." I needed Paul to get that through to his head. Paul maybe drunk right now but his got a memory like an elephant and if he thinks for a moment that I still hold feeling for Sophia he won't stop. Just like a dog with a bone.
"Okay, Okay let just say all that's true" He places down the bottle of Cristal on the table. "You tell me why in the middle of one of New York hot spots with all this booze your talking about Sophia Romero not Nina" I was a little speechless after he pointed that out I didn't know what to say. The truth is Sophia was on my mind and Nina really wasn't "Buddy truth of the matter is you're in denial" He get up from the couch "This is my jam" With that Paul walked away leaving me behind to think about what he had just brought to light.
After that I didn't drink no more as whatever buzz I had before faded away after that conversation with Paul. Well at least he had a good night. Paul literally partied the night away and I had to carry his ass to our room. I brought him into his room where I dropped him on the bed. I went into the living room and sat there all night reflecting on what the hell going on in my mind. Right now I was more confused than I was when I first arrived here. The sun was rising and the view of NYC was as breath taking as ever. I loved coming here as this was home for me after everything what happened. This city can make you forget your worries but this time around for me it wasn't working. I went into the kitchen to make some coffee as I heard Pauls groans which meant he was going to make an appearance soon. Just as I thought that he walked into the kitchen and it wasn't a pretty sight I wonder how many girls would fan over him looking like this?
"Ohhhh man remind me again why was I ordering bottles Cristal again?" He spoke rubbing his head approaching the counter. I poured him some coffee into a mug and handed it to him.
"It was something to do with you saying this is how 'rappers roll'" Which actually what he quoted I think that was after the 4th shot of Patron.
"My head….." He groan as he rested his head on the counter. He wasn't going to get any sympathy from me I warned to calm down a little but would he listen…. Nope!
"Well that will happen after I think 3 bottle of Cristal" I went over to the fridge and got myself some OJ as I didn't need to caffeine as much as Paul.
"You have to admit it was good night though" He spoke proudly. As messed up as he looked he was still pleased with his actions from last night. I guess he doesn't do it that often.
"Yeah it was" I took a swig from the OJ carton and I notice that Paul was giving me a sceptical look. "What I just said it was a good night" He sat there shaking his head.
"Your so transparent it's beyond belief. You know if you go back to Atlanta like this your girlfriend Nina gonna ask questions" Me wishing for Paul to forget that conversation wasn't going to happen. What did I say about him having a memory like an elephant? Even drunk as he was he recalled the conversation.
"Paul don't start all this again" I put the OJ back in the fridge and looked at him I need to make this clear to him once and for all "My feeling for Sophia aren't what you think. It's just….." I was trying to search for the right word but nothing was coming to mind.
"All came flooding back to surface after seeing her after all these years. Why can't you admit that?" I didn't get him at time he wants me to openly tell him that I may have feeling for Sophia still. While he meant to be Nina friend?
"You know you're meant to be Nina friend. Convincing me I'm still in love with my first love not helping your friend" I kept my tone calm as I didn't want to make a big deal about this. I just didn't get why Paul wouldn't drop this. It's not like he knew Sophia. Yeah he thought she was… No I'm not going there.
"Actually I'm looking out for both of my friend here. I don't want Nina to be hurt because her boyfriend in love with another woman" I felt my jaw drop as I heard him say I was in love with another woman meaning Sophia "And I don't want you being with the wrong girl and being unhappy" Did he think I was unhappy with Nina?
"I never said I'm unhappy" I told him firmly. He got off the stood and grabbed his coffee.
"Look I'm hung over but not stupid. Ian I think you need to do some serious thinking" I try so hard to hide everything I'm feeling from those who probably need to know my true feelings the most. The thing is people try to bottle up their emotions, as if it's somehow wrong to have natural reactions to life. You learned to run from what you feel, and that's why you have nightmares. To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control. I think it is time for me to start accepting what I truly feel.
Sophia P.O.V
After my encounter with Nina I was kind of furious I didn't like the way she cornered me. She wanted me to admit to thing that I didn't want to admit to well not to her. I don't talk to many people about Ian. Actually I hardly talk to anyone about how I feel about him or about my past because it all hurts too damn much. I can't keep opening that door and allowing myself to get hurt over and over again. I spent 13 years of my life keeping that door shut and when it creaked open and a tiny fractions would seep out. It hurt because Ian was the only man I have ever given my all too not just my heart my soul too. Everything I was a total open book I always smiled I was always happy. I'm none of those things I'm not the person no more. I'm tired of people who have no idea about my past and even Ian past interfering. So If Miss Dobrev attempts a stunt like this again she going to see a side to Sophia Romero that she will not like.
Before I went back home I went for a long drive as I knew once Loredana would see me she would know instantly that something was up. I needed to cool down before seeing her and hopefully be an excellent actress. The only thing that could relax me right now was a double shot skinny latte it always calmed my nerves. I drove to the nearest Starbuck and got out of the car and went in to order while waiting in the line I tried to think of other thing that could calm me down. I started to think about work and about a few upcoming scenes that I need to make costume for. It actually helped a little surprisingly enough. I ordered my drink and had it handed to me a few moments later. I made my way out looking in my bag for my car keys. When suddenly I bump into someone and nearly spilled my drink over them.
"Oh God. I'm so sorry" I looked up to see a handsome man wiping away some of the coffee that went on his sweater.
"It's okay" He smiled then looked at me frowning slightly "Sophia? Sophia Romero?" I looked at him for a long moment and his face was familiar then it hit me.
"Preston?" A huge smile appeared on his face as I said his name. I hadn't seen Preston in years. His family had a home in the Hampton not far from my grandparents place. We actually used to hang out as kids until I stopped going over there. "Oh my god it's so great to see you. How long has it been?" I knew exactly how long it had been but I wanted to play dumb. I couldn't believe how handsome he had become. Preston was always handsome but with age it really did do him justices
"13 years too long. You're still looking as beautiful as ever" Preston always had a way with words. I Recalled how he was with the girls they flocked to him. It wasn't only down to his good look but they went after him as his family was the third wealthiest family in New York State. So you could see why they were that even more attracted to him.
"Like I remember always the charmer" I teased him. He always was quick on the mark to say some flirtatious comment or when you were feeling low he would say something that would pick you right up. I guess that's why we were good friends back then because no matter how much he used his charm I would always catch him out.
"It come being a DeFer it's in the DNA" That was true all the man in that family knew how to woo a woman without them realising what they are doing. "So what bring your to Atlanta? Last I heard you were in Massachusetts." Had he been keeping tabs on me? Knowing my grandmother I'm sure she updated his mom about me. Preston mom loved me I think she hoped that one day Preston and I would actually get together. Personally I could never see that happening.
"Yeah well I got a job offer and here I am" I took a sip of my coffee as for some reason the way Preston was looking at me made me feel a little nervous. "What about you? You're a little far away from Wall Street" I had hear he followed in his family footsteps becoming a partner in his father broker firm. That family made the most stupid amount of money in a day I don't know what they did with it. Well I'm sure they all found way to spend it. Me personally I wouldn't have a clue.
"I'm here for business. I met up with a few clients" Business trip that was typical all work no play just like this father.
"You're defiantly following in your father footsteps. Well it's been great to see you again. Maybe next time I'm in New York we could grab lunch or dinner" Not that I would get in touch with him. It was just one of those things that you say to someone you haven't seen in a while. I was about to walk off when Preston caught my arm.
"We don't have to wait until whenever you decide to come to New York. Why don't we go out for dinner tomorrow night? Our official first date" I felt my jaw hang slightly as Preston mentioned the word date.
"Date?" I questioned him.
"Sophia come on you know I had a thing for you since we were kids. You were so wrapped up in…. What's' his name again?" I was waiting for him to get brought up.
"Ian" I tried to say his name pleasantly but it was proven a little difficult as my anger from early was all to do with him.
"Yeah that's him. Anyway I'm not taking no for an answer." Preston insisted. He pulled out a pen and piece of paper from his jean pocket. He wrote something down then handed it to me "Here my number text me your address and I'll pick you up say around 8" Every part of me want to turn to him and say no. Or sorry I'm dating someone I can't. I wasn't thinking of every excuse that I could possible say.
"I'll do that" Slipped from my mouth and I thought I would regret it instantly but I didn't. I smiled at him and walked away getting into my car. Why shouldn't I go on a date with Preston it's a start for me to move on to start a new chapter in my life. What actually stopping me from doing that. I got my phone out and message Preston my address. I may of looked too keen but you know what I didn't care. With me doing this it will prove to me that I can move on from Ian Somerhalder.
Ian P.O.V
The flight back to Atlanta was a quite one for two reason one Paul still had his hang over and two I was reflecting on what he told me. When we arrived at the airport Paul offered to drive me home but I told him he was in not fit state to drive. So I drove instead. I brought him to his house and told him I would drop his car off later with Nina. He seem okay with that but I spoke too soon as he told me I need to fess up to Nina about what I'm feeling for Sophia. With that he went into his house. Was Paul crazy how could I speak to Nina about my feeling for Sophia she will flip out or cry or something? She wouldn't take it well and if she did then that would be saying something about our relationship. If Paul wanted me to fess up about possible feeling I may have for Sophia I think I need to face those feeling and the only way I could do that. Was to talk to Sophia myself. If I can look at her in the eye knowing what I know now. I will know if I'm still in love with her or not. Was that the right thing to do after her spilling about being pregnant then losing the baby? Could I go through another day feeling like this? Feeling that I don't have no control on how I feel? No I can't I need to talk to her I need to say my piece to her while I have the courage to do so.
I began to drive towards Sophia place. You're wondering how i know where she lives? Well I'm not stalking her let me put that straight. Joseph most of you may know him as Klaus dropped off Loredana the girl who lives with Sophia. He told me it was at Ridge View and you couldn't miss their home as Loredana had put a load of twinkling light on the front lawn in the tress. I was actually surprised Sophia let her do that but then again she's not the Sophia I knew all those years ago. I drove down the street as Jo mention twinkling lights were on show. I parked up and got out of the car I felt a little nervous but I knew I had to do this. It was one of those now or never moments. So I range the door bell and waited patiently. The door opened and it wasn't Sophia it was Loredana with a very shocked expression on her face.
"Hi is Sophia in?" I spoke while trying not to sound nervous I didn't want Loredana knowing what was going on. I just wanted to see Sophia and have it out with her.
"Errm…. Yeahhh I don't think it's a good idea you being here" From her reaction she knew about our history. Of course she would know Sophia had to speak to someone after what happen at the studio when we first met. Of course she going to confined in her close friend.
"It's Loredana. Right?" She stood there with her arms folded not looking impress. I needed her to know I wasn't here to cause any trouble "I've not come here to cause trouble I just need to speak to Sophia" I assured her. I didn't want to upset Loredana or Sophia but I can't hold these feeling back. The feeling that I've been kidding myself that I didn't have anymore.
"Loredana who….." I heard Sophia voice I looked up and I felt like my heart stopped beating for a moment. She stood there looking more beautiful than I could ever imagine. Sophia was something of true beauty and I let her slip through my finger for what fear? "Ian?" She spoke my name in confusion as she came closer to the door and I felt my heart accelerate due to her present
"Hey Sophia….." I rubbed the back of my head nervously but my voice gave away that this was something I wasn't prepared for. Even that I wasn't I knew it was the right thing to do. I was going to tell Sophia exactly how I feel about her. With the way she looked right now I wanted her more than ever.
"I think this is my cue to leave" Loredana spoke awkwardly and left the both of us standing in the doorway. Sophia was looking at me a little baffled with my sudden appearance. I wanted to talk but no words would come out as I was mesmerised by her beauty.
"Ian what are you doing here?" She spoke with confusion I think the last thing she thought on a Sunday evening was for me to turn up on her doorstep.
"Wow you look….Beautiful" I couldn't help but say it. I felt compelled to tell her that she look utterly beautiful. I notice though with my compliment Sophia felt a little awkward "Sorry I shouldn't of said that" God what am I doing I'm messing everything up and I haven't even said what I want to say yet.
"Ian….." Sophia began to say but I stopped her.
"Sophia I came here to say something. So please let me say it because I need you to know….." I was about to tell her how I felt when I was interrupted by some guy holding a bunch of flowers in one hand.
"Miss Romero. Stunning as always" He spoke flirtatiously to her which made my blood boil "These are for you" He handed her the bouquet of flowers and she smiled sweetly as she smelled them. Then it all hit me that this guy right here was Sophia date. Out of all the times I could of come here and told her how I feel I came when Sophia going on a date.
"Oh thank you" She looked up and I could see her eyes were awkwardly looking between myself and this guy. Who I could sense was staring at me. "Sorry Preston this is Ian" I looked at him and faked smiled. He looked a little familiar but I have seen hundreds of people and he looked like a total douche in my eyes.
"Ian?" He questioned while looking at me arching his brow then looking at Sophia "As in your ex Ian?" I didn't like him one bit and I wanted to punch him in the face right then and there. This was a sign I should have never of come here.
"I think I better leave you two to your date" I turned to walk away because seeing this. Seeing the woman that I am actually in love with, another man was too much. It hurt in more ways than one.
"Ian?" Sophia called out to me and I stopped half way down the path and turned to her "You said I need to know something?" She spoke with slight hope in her voice as if in a way she knew why I came. How could I turn her world upside down now? I've ruined her life enough I have to try and let her go.
"It's not important." I smiled at her then looked at Preston "You look after her Preston she's one of a kind" That she was. Sophia was a rare girl and you don't get many like her and I hope that this Preston treats her good.
"Don't I know it" He spoke smugly as he snaked his arm around her waist. Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with. That what I always had with Sophia she wasn't only my lover but my best friend. The chances of getting any of that back were at a lost….