Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.

...

Leaning his back into the door frame, he had watched them guardedly as they sat around a large round table in the recently cleared out library. Rick had been late, and now that he was there, he had held court, and Merle honestly thought that the man hadn't really paused for breath. Ideas were being bandied around left, right and fucking center.

His eyes had roamed over the small group as they sat all huddled together conspiratorially.

Maggie and Beth were sat with their old man, offering ideas on horticulture and farming. Rick had agreed, and then refused abruptly when Hershel suggested that it would be an idea for Rick to step up to that. Merle had found that funny as fuck-the thought of officer friendly swapping his pistols and badge for a shovel and flowers. Like that shit would happen. Rick loved to power trip on his ego way too much.

Merle himself had offered up the thought that there should be more able bodies in the watch towers at all times. Never knew when that Governor would strike, and Rick had practically shot him down on that idea, stating that it would be a drain on man power when other necessities were more needed, such as the need for more constant supply runs. With Winter drawing closer and the amount of people living at the prison, they would soon exhaust the precious little amount of food stocks. So that was the priority, not manning towers. Rick had conceded that the shifts as was would still stand, but nothing more. He had taken on board Merle's other thought on munition runs. No shitting surprise there.

Andrea had volunteered herself for supply runs and more watch shifts. Merle knew that like him, she was having difficulty finding her feet back within this group, and like him, their distrust of her was obvious because of her close relationship with the Governor.

Cooking and laundry duties were going to be distributed as normal, but with the added pulled in help from the new residents, and Merle thought it was high time that that lazy pampered lot pulled the sticks from out of their collective asses, and started contributing.

He had been less than impressed with Ricks idea that for now, the original group would have to bunk up and share cells until a new cell block wing was cleared of biters. Like that was going to happen. He wasn't about to give up, or share his cell with any fucking one. And why the hell should he? He didn't care two shits if they were sleeping three or four to a cell. Wasn't his problem. He didn't ask for them to be here.

He had sighed irritably when Carol had been given extra duties-and now she was also to hold schooling sessions for the congregated children. He'd half wondered if that had been such a good suggestion on Ricks part-especially in light of what had happened to her kid. But she had agreed, even quite fervently to the idea, and it had surprised the fuck out of him.

But, the most single goddamned fucking surprising event had been Rick announcing at the end of the meeting, that he was stepping down and handing over decisions that were now to be made by the group as a whole.

And at the point, Merle had laughed so hard that the breath had stuck in his gut, and he'd had to make a rapid exit, his thick rasping laughter barreling off the walls...much to the ire and annoyance of everyone else.

...

"When the hell ya get back, little brother?" Merle asked, staring and frowning largely at his brother. "Didn't see ya at that meeting yer girlfriend Rick called earlier."

Daryl huffed, glancing at him, adjusting the saddlebags of Merle's old Triumph. "Just shut it Merle. Got back some time ago. Didn't know Rick called a meeting."

"Yeah he did bro, say, he sure likes to throw his weight around, don't he?"

"Ain't like that, Rick does what he has to. Told ya before brother-if it weren't for him, we'd a lost more from the group than we have. He does fine by us, I ain't never got a problem with that."

Merle glanced away from him, narrowing his eyes again. He didn't know what had happened with the group from the time they had left Atlanta to the time they'd holed up at the prison. But obviously enough had gone down for Daryl to swear his undying allegiance to that shitty sheriff. "You ain't never said what ya went through, after that shit at the quarry."

"'Cause you ain't never asked, you dumbass," Daryl retorted as he stepped away from the bike and walked over to where his brother stood.

It was Merle's turn to huff. He looked at his brother, his gaze softening a little when he saw the pale cast to his face, the dark smudges under his eyes even more prominent. "You should rest up Darlina. Ya lookin' like crap."

"Pffft. Got no time to rest." Daryl sighed, "We didn't find him, sorry Merle. We looked, me and 'Chonne, but the trail's gone off, gone cold. Couldn't track much for shit."

Merle glanced at him sharply, a wry smile tugging at his lips. "'Chonne? Since when the fuck ye get all pally with the mute, huh?"

Daryl ignored him, "I dunno where the hell he is, but the trail disappeared not long after Woodbury. We're gonna go out again tho'."

"Governors a wily son of a bitch," Merle grimaced.

"We tracked him a while through him the woods. He musta got a vehicle, and can't track that fer shit," Daryl grimaced. "I wish I could told ya different, Merle. Reckon now-he's long gone. Maybe...try to pick up again in the morning, I dunno," he sighed tiredly.

Merle turned and watched as Maggie came across. She smiled warmly at Daryl and frowned a little at him, and he thought that was just right, fucking typical. He saw his brother look at her, and nod in greeting.

"Ya seen Carol, Maggie? I haven't long been back and I ain't caught up with her yet," Daryl asked.

Maggie smiled a little at him, "Carol? Oh, she's gone on a run with a few of the others. Some of the new ones from Woodbury; Tyreese, his sister, Scott and Andrea."

"She's what?" Merle hissed, suddenly feeling pissed. He hadn't seen her since the meeting had been called, and that had been fucking hours ago. He didn't much care for the company she had gone with either. He'd wished that he'd smacked Scott a lot harder than he had done. Knocked the little creep out, maybe then...he wouldn't be on that run with her.

"It's good to see you back, Daryl," Maggie said as she moved past them.

"Is good to be back," Daryl followed Maggie with his eyes, before looking back at Merle. "Ya spoken to Carol an' fixed things with her?" he questioned softly.

"Yeah," Merle said distantly.

Daryl grunted at his side, "Merle?"

"It's fine, baby brother. Told ya." He looked at Daryl fixedly, "Ya know she about went and kicked my ass, huh?"

The only response he got was a long stare and a sudden smirk.

"It ain't funny," Merle said sourly.

Daryl's hand caught out suddenly and gripped at his arm briefly. Merle glanced at him, seeing a tight expression on his brothers face. He frowned as Daryl gestured one hand to the benches, and Merle shrugged nonchalantly before following after him.

They sat there a while in silence, Daryl reaching into his leather vest and pulling out a packet of cigarettes. He offered one to Merle, and flipped his lighter, lighting the smoke. He took one for himself and lit it, puffing out a steady stream of smoke.

Merle held the cigarette tightly between his fingers, glancing back at his brother. Something was eating him and he watched as Daryl rolled the cigarette between his thumb and forefinger before taking another long pull of it.

"What's up, Daryl?" he asked quietly, watching as his brother shifted in the seat next to him restlessly.

Daryl shrugged before answering. "Why did ya do it, Merle?"

"Do fucking what?" Merle questioned.

His brother looked at him long and hard, chewing at his lip. "Go out like a jackass after the Governor."

Merle leaned back in his seat, raising the smoke to his mouth and drawing hard on it. He let it out in a long sigh, watching as the grey smoke plumed in the air between them. He knew what Daryl was asking, and it wasn't just about what Rick had asked him to do. He didn't want to discuss this, he hadn't discussed it with anyone-the only one that really knew the truth of it was Michonne.

"I'm asking ya Merle," Daryl said, "Tell me brother, and don't go an' give me any of yer bullshit."

"Did it for ya, you and yer asshole friends. Reckoned I could take out a few of the Governors men...hell maybe even Blake himself. Buy y'all some time," he admitted reluctantly.

Daryl was silent for a moment, before turning in his seat and facing him. "It's more than that, I know. Ya didn't think ya'd come back, bro."

Merle laughed, but the sound was flat and without humor. "No. Yer right Daryl. I didn't think on the chance that I'd come back. It was a one way trip for me 'til Michonne went an' fucked my plans up."

"I need ta know why," Daryl quietly insisted, not taking his eyes off his brother.

"What the fuck is this Darlina?" Merle grunted angrily. "Twenty fuckin' questions? I don't wanna talk about this shit no more."

"Reckon I've a right to know Merle. Yer my fuckin' brother," Daryl spat back.

Merle puffed on the cigarette angrily, almost spitting the smoke out in a dark little cloud. He narrowed his eyes warningly. "Get the fuck off'a my back. I did what I did 'cause I thought it'd help. Shit is my thanks, same as goddamned usual."

"Ya know Merle, ya tell everyone else to grow the fuck up, nut up and be a man, but way I see it? Yer that same fuckin' idiot not facing up to all the shitty decisions ya made. You say about Rick? Fuck man, yer way worse."

Merle pushed himself to his feet, flinging the cigarette away. "What the hell you know about me, huh? What the fuck you know 'bout any goddamned thing I went through?"

Daryl narrowed his eyes, "You," he hissed, "You went and fuckin' left me. Not just once, fuck no. Ya left my ass out there to rot with our old man. Let me take all those beatings. Ya know nothin' Merle. Ya ain't nothin' but a goddamned fuckin' coward."

"You lil shit," Merle spat.

Daryl got to his feet and lurched towards Merle, curling his hand into a fist. He shoved at him, knocking him back a step. "Did ya think by going out there and dying was gonna be yer big goddamned redemption act, huh? Fuck you Merle."

Merle saw red. He couldn't stop himself as he threw a punch at his brother. Daryl side stepped quickly, and caught him with a solid right hook to his face which sent him stumbling to the ground. "Ya little asshole," Merle spat. He pushed himself off the ground with his hand, and then was knocked flat on his back as Daryl flew at him. His brother caught him again with a hard punch to his chest, catching him on his injured shoulder. He winced as the pain tore through him.

"I only ever wanted my fuckin' brother back, ya chicken shit!" Daryl cried out angrily.

Merle tried to kick at him with his foot, only to feel the wind knocked out of him as Daryl flew at him again. His brother sat astride him, pushing him back with his hands, leaning over him. His eyes blazed with a fury that Merle hadn't seen before, and he saw the bright shimmer of tears suddenly in his brothers eyes. He laid back on the concrete and closed his eyes, feeling the fight seep out him.

"You...ya wanna know why I did it, huh Daryl?" he said quietly as he opened his eyes and stared back at his brother. "I did it 'cause yeah, I ain't nothin' more than an asshole, and I don't deserve none better. An' yeah, I thought I'd die. But I wanted to give ya the chance I ain't never given ya before. Dontcha think that there's not a day goes by that I ever regret what I did? 'cause I do. But I can't change shit. I can't go back an' change the fuckin' past."

Daryl gripped his shoulders tightly, a single tear welling from his eyes and slipping down his cheek. "I just wanted ya back. Was all I wanted."

"Don't ya get it Daryl? I couldn't go back. I left 'cause I would have killed him. I had to fuckin' go. I was wrong. I should'a stayed, but I didn't. Man, I was fucked up. I took those beatin's too. Took 'em long before you were born. Ain't no damned excuse, and I'm sorry. I should'a stayed, and I didn't. I fucked up man, I ain't proud."

Daryl pushed himself off him, and sat heavily on the floor next to him, pulling his knees up and banding his arms about them. "I looked up to ya Merle."

Merle sighed as he sat up. He reached out his hand and caught Daryl's arm. "Don't hate me brother."

"Ain't never hated ya," Daryl said quickly. He sighed and pushed himself up, offering his hand to Merle and pulling him to his feet. They both stood hesitantly facing each other.

Merle swallowed hard. As much as he cared for Daryl, he had never shown him, thinking that their fighting and bickering was enough to let him know. But he realized it wasn't what Daryl had needed. He was the bigger brother, and it had been his duty to look after and protect him, and he had done for a while...until it got to the point that he couldn't take the constant destructive fighting that their father drunkenly gave every single fucking day. And he'd run, like a pussy whipped coward. Gone and tried to medicate and drink his sorry fucking ass to oblivion, anything to try to numb the constant aching hurt.

He sighed. Maybe it was high time now that he manned up and took the responsibility of his actions.

"I ain't never meant to hurt ya, little brother. I fucked up I know, and I'm sorry. I'm...I'm trying to change. Turn over a new leaf an' all that shit." He watched as Daryl glanced up at him, and he felt sickened to see the tears on his face. "I ain't asking yer forgiveness Daryl, 'cause I can't forgive myself."

Daryl stepped hesitantly towards him, and Merle paused before pulling him to him, wrapping his arms around his brother. Daryl leant against him, little sobs sneaking out of his mouth, and Merle stroked his hand over his hair, before kissing the side of his head. "I'm sorry, Daryl," he whispered. "Dontcha go on hating me...I can't live with myself if ya do."

"Don't hate ya," Daryl murmured. "Ain't never hated ya bro. I love ya."

Merle felt the tears well up in his own eyes, felt the bitter sting of them prickle beneath his eyelids, and he swallowed tightly again. "I'm tryin' to be better. I'm tryin'."

Daryl sniffled, and Merle fought back a pang at the sound. How much he'd remembered the sound of his brother trying to hold back scared frightened tears as their old man loomed over him, belt at the ready in his drunken paw of a fist. He shook his head bitterly. He could have spared his brother so much if he'd had the balls to stay. His fingers curled tightly in Daryl's hair, and he hugged him, before easing away and stepping back.

"I love ya Daryl. I always have."

He watched as his brother stepped back, his head downcast. "I know," he said softly. "Ya gotta make it work here Merle. I don't want to lose ya."

"Ain't going anywhere, brother."

Daryl nudged his arm and offered him another cigarette. They stood and smoked together a while in silence.

Daryl raised his head and glanced at him, a small little wry smile twerking his lips upwards suddenly. He leaned towards Merle and hit his arm. "Pussy," he said.

Merle bit back a grin as he punched him lightly in the shoulder, "Faggot."

Daryl laughed a little at that, before banding his arm around Merle's shoulders. "C'mon big brother. We got shit that needs seeing to, reckon Rick or the others got summat that wants doin'."

"Now that man's a pussy assed faggot begging for a damned good ass whupping," Merle sighed.

Daryl shook his head, "Stop," he smirked.

…

As it turned out, between them both they were more than busy over the next few hours. A new cell block had been cleared of biters, and Merle, Daryl, Maggie and Beth were conscripted as the clean up crew.

And it hadn't been really that long since Merle had found himself in a similar situation, surrounded by mattresses. Only this time he wasn't tearing them apart looking for a nice little vacation-this time he was clearing them out of the cells, stacking the most heavily soiled to one far wall, the less stained ones nearer to one of the cells where Beth sat on one of the stripped down metal framed bunks, studiously scrubbing, with a soapy bucket next to her feet.

She glanced up as he strode past, smiling a little as he huffed and puffed shoving another stinking mattress to the pile. He raised his eyebrows at her, "Huh. Sweet lil thing like ya shouldn't be in here scrubbin'-"

"Merle," Daryl warned.

"Hell brother, I weren't about to say nothin'," he commented mildly. "I'm a reformed man."

He heard his brother chuckle, the sound muffled. "Bullshit."

"How many more of 'em bodies ya gotta drag out'a here, Darlina?" He watched as Daryl popped into view, pushing a gurney with two bodies strapped to it.

Daryl swiped one grimy hand over his brow, and tugged the bandana off from his lower face. He shrugged, "Gotta few more, then I'm done. This weren't as bad as when we first cleared out C-block."

Merle glanced across as he heard Maggie approach. She had a freshly filled bucket of soapy water. Her hands and arms were stained vividly red. She had been going around the cells and scrubbing as much of the bloodied gunk off the walls and floors as she could.

"Was a kindness 'em wardens killin' those men in their cells, dontcha reckon," Merle rasped. "Such a damned kindness."

"No. It wasn't," Maggie replied warily, glancing away from him to look in the direction of her sister.

Merle laughed a little, "Dontcha believe it. Those men were here for a reason. Ya know every convict says their innocent. And most of the time, maybe they are. Maybe they ain't. But I bet yer sweet ass, if they were alive now, with this group? You wouldn't be sleeping so sweetly with yer lil chinaman tucked up in yer arms. Glenn would've been their bitch for sure, an' you Maggie? You an' that sweet lil thing of a sister ya got? Hmm."

"What is your problem, Merle?" Maggie rounded on him angrily.

"Fuck's sake Merle, shut it, and leave them alone." Daryl growled.

Merle bit back a chuckle at the pissed little looks both Maggie and his brother were shooting him. "Huh. Goddamned convicts," he tutted, ignoring them both.

"They weren't all bad. There weren't nothin' wrong with Oscar, or Axel," Daryl grabbed at his arm and pulled him several feet across the cell block, out of the way of the Greene sisters.

Merle frowned. "An' where are they now, lil brother?"

Daryl narrowed his eyes at him. "They're dead, ya know that."

Merle sucked at his teeth, "Hmm. Point proved. Convicts expendable."

"If ya ain't got nothing better to do, bro-there are cells at the far end ya ain't gotten yer skanky old ass to yet."

He glanced quickly at Daryl, smirking, "Say what Darlina?"

Daryl gestured impatiently to the far end of the block and Merle shrugged, taking the hint. "Don't get yer pantyhose in a knot, I'm goin'."

Merle watched as Daryl turned from him and pushed the gurney out of the block, and he walked over to the end cells. He peered in with a curl of distaste pulling at his mouth as he saw the sickening amount of dried blackened blood sprayed across the far wall of the cell, the body laying on the ground with the majority of its head blown away.

He grabbed at a leg with his hand and dragged the body out into the hallway, before stepping gingerly into the cell. His eyes roamed pityingly over the small room, before dropping to a particularly grimed stinking mattress. He tugged at it, his eyes narrowing as the mattress slipped off the bunk. He could see a small slit to the right hand side, the dirty off white stuffing spilling out of the mattress. Merle paused undecided, before pulling it closer and inspecting it.

He glanced over his shoulder, before thrusting his hand inside the incision, his heart beating a little faster as his fingers enclosed on a piece of small plastic. Wonderingly, he snagged at it and pulled it out, turning a small plastic ziploc bag over in his hand.

Daryl's' boots clomped heavily back into the cell block, and Merle listened carefully, before raising the bag up into the light, and looking with wonder at the small white pills inside. His breath caught as he roughly counted a dozen or so pills. Amphetamines.

I'll be fucked.

He heard Daryl make his way towards him, stopping abruptly at the entrance of the cell. "What ye doin' Merle?"

Merle guiltily and swiftly palmed the pills to the pocket of his pants, before turning and smiling at Daryl, "Get off'a my case lil bro. Ya jus' gonna stand there an' gawk at me? Shit brother, we got work to do."

...