ONE WEEK, FIVE HOURS AGO
As Maura came down from her climax, Jane removed her hand, staring down at the satiated woman below her. A crooked smile grew at the corners of her lips. Maura opened her eyes in time to see it.
Breaking eye contact, Jane looked around from the back seat of the car for anyone approaching. Especially cops. She knew too many cops. A patrol car a block away turned onto the street approaching at a speed that told Jane he was looking for drug or gang activity…or crimes against public decency. Something like what they were doing. "Shit," Jane said beneath her breath. The brunette dismounted, turning inside the car, stepping over the center consol, and plopped into the driver's seat.
"Jane?" Maura concern riddled her voice. Her legs were still parted, her pants unbuttoned. Jane could see Maura's still dark, wanting eyes in the rearview mirror.
"Everything's fine, baby." She pulled her keys from pocket and thrust them into the ignition. Almost immediately, Jane was in drive, pulling in front of the patrol car, and turning onto the next street. Jane kept looking in her rearview mirror to make sure the cop didn't grow suspicious and decide to follow them. He didn't. And too late, Jane realized that the pet name she used without thinking had made Maura noticeably blanch.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Jane's mind reeled.
"You okay?" Jane called before she lost her nerve, looking in the rearview mirror again trying to meet the other woman's eyes.
"Yes, sorry. Lost in thought." Maura smiled, suddenly handing Jane a professional smile instead of an intimate one like they shared moments ago. Jane could tell the pet name was bothering her but maybe it was something more. Jane's stomach clenched with regret. It just slipped out! She wanted to yell. She left Maura to her thoughts in the backseat as she berated herself for being so careless. But before the self-deprecation could really take off, Maura was climbing the center console to drop into the passenger seat. The grace with which Maura did so was not lost on Jane.
Jane didn't dare look at her. She didn't want to make matters worse. But what caught Jane off guard was the sudden fear of doing something that would make Maura want to go away permanently. Jane's jaw clenched, her hands tightening on the wheel. The realization unsettled her.
"Jane," Maura inquired softly.
"Hmm?"
Maura reached across the consol, her fingertips barely brushing against Jane's side. The reassuring but hesitant gesture melted the rigidity growing through Jane's body. "Do we need to talk about this?"
"About what, Maura? I'm sorry, it slipped, it won't happen again."
But it wasn't what Maura was talking about.
PRESENT DAY
She pressed open the door to the morgue. Maura was alone, familiarizing herself with the tools and cataloging something Jane couldn't quite see. The blonde didn't turn around.
"Hey," Jane's voice cracked. She cleared her throat to start again, "Hey." She said with more force. Well! So much for not awkward. Way to go, Rizzoli.
Maura turned slowly, still writing something in the margin of her notebook. She looked up hesitantly. The detective in Jane could see the M.E.'s body grow rigid. Maura didn't want to look at Jane and the reality of it struck Jane deep in the chest. Jane thought she was getting better at reading Maura…in the day time. But when their eyes met, Jane felt a familiar flutter in her stomach. God, I want you. Jane had to swallow the thought like a rock. The truth of their new reality hit her hard.
"Jane," Maura said the word like a prayer, an acceptance and an acknowledgement.
"Maura," Jane tilted her head just so, looking at Maura from beneath dark lashes. She stepped hesitantly closer, testing their resolve. Jane knew Maura had the same intention that she did, that this needed to stop. But…
"Jane, wait," Maura held her hand up, stepping back gently. "We can't. I have a rule against being intimate with co-workers." She punctuated the word like it could sum up everything that they were. But this sounded rehearsed. Jane could hear the practiced ease with which the words left her mouth. There was a sudden lack of sincerity in her voice, it was a side Jane hadn't seen before.
"And you never push the boundaries, do you?" Jane taunted her, trying to pull the Maura she knew back out. Maura had told her she was never spontaneous and reckless like she was with Jane. No names, no numbers, no details. Just sex. With another woman. It was scandalous and Jane knew Maura loved it. Because after all, no one begged for something they didn't actually want. And Maura had begged.
"Hush," Maura warned, looking around the room for onlookers or anyone within hearing distance. Her face flushed. She was making every effort to step back when Jane stepped forward. "Jane, please. We can't do this. Not now." She pleaded with Jane like it was paining her to do so.
Jane hesitated, taking in everything at once. Maura's face was flush, she shifted uncomfortably, her face wasn't distant or repulsed, it was distressed. Jane marched toward the M.E. resolutely, grabbing her by the elbow and dragging her through the bay doors at the back of the morgue. Unless there was a murder, there wouldn't be any bodies, living or dead, coming through today.
Once through the doors, Jane pushed Maura abruptly into the wall, away from the doors. "Look, I get that you don't want to see me anymore. You stopped showing up at The Dirty Robber after…that night." Jane hesitated, shifting her weight onto her other foot. "But when I saw you last night at the crime scene and again today, you…there's something…" Jane wiped her nose haphazardly, a physical manifestation of her struggle with the emotion. It was her tell. Maura recognized it immediately. Jane continued, "your eyes say, 'stay' but your body says, 'go'. So, which is it?"
ONE WEEK AND FIVE HOURS AGO
They drove in silence. The air between them was heavy with things unsaid. Maura didn't reach across the console again but her fingers itched to close the distance. When they finally reached Jane's block, neither said anything as they got out of the car and mindlessly went to Jane's door. Maura waited patiently as Jane pulled out her keys and let them in. Jane held the door open behind her for Maura to follow. There was no question.
Air crackled with the tension of their silence. As Jane went to the kitchen, pulling the refrigerator door open roughly, bottles clanking loudly in the door, Maura roamed the living room as if seeing it for the first time. In truth, it was the first time she wasn't completely distracted while she was there. Usually clothes were half off at this point. A very distracting activity.
Maura could see Jane standing in the light of the open refrigerator door, upturning a beer between her lips. She watched the brunette, taking in her posture, the arch of her back, the fall of her hair, the set of her jaw. Maura's head tilted as she studied her. She watched Jane finally drop the bottle back to a resting position. Jane's teeth clenched either from the hops of the beer or the ramifications of drinking so much in one swig. Jane turned from the refrigerator, leaning instead against the island in the middle of her kitchen. Maura watched as Jane refused to make eye contact with her. She put the bottle on the counter, swirling it on the surface. The edge of Maura's mouth curved upward. What a stubborn woman you are.
Maura approached the brunette cautiously. She knew Jane could see her advancing, Maura made no attempt to hide it. Jane's twirling halted when Maura was in reaching distance. Maura didn't stop, she reached forward as she had earlier, brushing the tips of her fingers along the smooth edges of Jane's waist. She still didn't stop. Maura pushed forward, the tips of her fingers becoming hands, hands becoming arms. Maura had one hand on the counter and one on Jane, a hand on something steady and a hand on something unstable. Maura tentatively pushed her body against the brunette's. Jane still hadn't moved but she hadn't moved away. Maura's lips found Jane's cheek, her jaw, her neck, gently drifting between the spots, nuzzling and inviting. When the hand on Jane's waist tightened, pulling Jane closer into Maura's open body, Jane vacated her beer for a better high. Maura. The word breathed through Jane like fresh air. Immediately, Jane's lips found Maura's.