Chapter 58: Resignation
My mind was being slow as I stared at my phone as it laid helplessly on the counter. The buzzing had just stopped, but I knew for a fact that it wouldn't be that way for long with everyone calling me. I knew I should've turned my cell off, for multiple reasons other than it's constant buzzing, but for once in my life, I really didn't care. And for once in my life, I felt my insecure, helpless, and most of all, scared, than I had felt in my entire life.
"Sarah. I don't care if you answer that phone, but at least answer me." I didn't even twitch as I continued to stare at my cell phone and Ace began walking toward me. Moments earlier I had been on the street, almost jogging to get away from the people who packed the city. But the only problem with running away was that people noticed me. Or more like saw me. And Ace, being the sneaky bastard that he was, had tracked me for the past two weeks - the whole time I had been away from him.
I barely even took notice to him kneeling in from of me and placing his hands on my knees as I continued to leave my head cranked to the side, my eyes glued to the electronic at my right like I would die if I didn't. And in some cases it was true. Or at least for my own sanity.
"Sarah. What's going on?" I heard him repeat for the millionth time. For someone who had tracked me for over two weeks, he sure as hell was clueless to what really was going on. That's when it hit me.
It had been merely a day after the only death I was really affected by for me to move on from my denial stage. I was in denial, but I knew the truth. She was dead. And she wasn't coming back.
"Oh my God..." I muttered, looking away from my phone for the first time in forever it seemed. "Oh my God..." I said again. I could only imagine the clear confusion written across Ace's face as I put my face into my hands, tears spiraling down my face rapidly. I wasn't having delusions. I wasn't seeing things. I didn't see my own sister's death because I was delusional. It was all real. And I was the only one to blame for it.
"Sarah..." Ace mumbled, trying to pull my hands away from my face. I rejected everything.
"Leave me alone." I said with all the strength that I could. It wasn't much use or force, but Ace seemed to get the point when he stopped trying and walked away reluctantly. I heard a door close and suddenly I was able to breathe again, though I didn't know that I needed it before. Wiping my eyes, I reached for my phone, my whole body shaking as tears fell and my heart shattered over and over again as the images and videos and thoughts and the whole fact that I was the cause of Alex's death replayed in my mind.
My fingers flew as I opened up a text message and started typing. Everything that was going on at that moment was too much to handle, and I knew what had to go first.
Finishing my speech-like message, I looked over it once, not even bothering to re-word or re-write and soon enough, pressed send. I swallowed and stared at the front door, realizing that I was in a living room of an apartment. And Ace wasn't there. Sneaking out, I sighed, relieved that I was away from... everyone. Away from anyone who could potentially get hurt because of me. Again.
But that wasn't the only thing I had just done. That was far behind the thing that I had just done. I had just resigned from my position with the Justice League.