Chapter 64: Wedding Part I

The first thing I did when I got to the church on the morning of my wedding was text Kam. Not only was she the best person who could help me tame my stress level - which was excessive due to complications like still not knowing if I was actually going to have to marry Alexander or not - but I also just needed to take a break. Like get away from Sofija, Alexander's sister, and all the non-traditional bridesmaids their family had to offer.

Calm down. Everything's going to be fine.

Her text didn't calm me down. If anything, it made my anxiety a whole hell of a lot worse. I was shaking as I attempted to text her back, but surely enough, Sofija walked in, frantic as ever, but excited as hell. And holding the only thing that really mattered to her at that moment. My wedding dress.

"I invited Olivia here to help you into your dress, since, well, I wasn't quite sure what you'd think of me helping you. She's a professional and she'll be doing your makeup, hair, and everything else. Great. Now, get dressed. We have only a few hours..." Her voice because high-pitched and she began to squeal, kissing me on the cheek and leaving me with Olivia.

I'm not going to ask what the hell that means, but just an fyi, I'm now about to get into a wedding dress.

Setting down my phone, I watched as Olivia pulled out the dress. I swallowed.

Sure, the dress was... beyond gorgeous, but I didn't want to wear it. Not only was it tinted with pink and covered with flower patterns, but it was also a ball gown styled dress and to be honest, before that moment, I wouldn't have been caught dead in anything like that. Ever.

Before I could even understand the complication that came with wedding dresses and the obsession over whatever beauty and delicacy they were supposed to hold, I was dressed head to toe in something that most girls dreamed of being in, but I feared being in for multiple reasons.

Olivia began the final touches - curling the ends of my hair, putting on the veil, finishing the project by doing the simplest makeup I had ever seen on myself - and was soon done. I wasn't sure how long I had been in the dressing room or how long it had taken Olivia to prepare me for probably one of the worst days of my life. But either way, I had to come back into reality. This was it. The end of my life, basically. I was getting married - not as myself, but still getting married. Getting married to a man that I didn't at all, not in the tiniest way possible, loved. But that was my reality. Doing things I never wanted to do, putting up with shit no one normal ever even hears of. Taking shots for others. Sacrificing myself for the people I care for. Protecting those who I love. And to believe that it all started with my parents. My father, who wished for a son, though got two daughters. Who hated both of us, and always would. My mother, who put up with the hell she had begun living as soon as I was born. Who never wished for children, and didn't care for either of us.

"You look beautiful. Would you like me to get your mother-in-law?" Olivia spoke as I stared at myself in the mirror, attempting to not break down as I forced myself back into the reality I lived in.

"No. Maybe later. I just... need some time. You understand, right?" She nodded and smiled brightly.

"Of course. It's not everyday that you have to look your best, right?" With that, she left, leaving me to stare at myself in the mirror once again, for the millionth time it seemed.

I couldn't take it much longer. Just staring at myself in the mirror wanted to make me cry. What the hell was I doing? Getting married? To Alexander? The person who I barely knew and not at all loved? For the first time in forever, I felt like my heart could break into a million pieces. Alex's death did that months ago. But I was over it now. She was dead. I couldn't bring her back. But this - this was different. This was my future, or what future I had left seeing that I was practically screwed over after my breakout. But this was beyond some stupid arrest or my depression due to my only sister's death. To say the least, it hurt. And the last time I had felt anything as emotional as this was when I was sixteen. When I was with Patrick.

Patrick. Just thinking of his name made my tears fall. There wasn't any other person I wanted to be with right at that moment than Patrick. But this wasn't about me. This was about everyone else I cared for. I was doing this for them. For him. And that's all that really mattered. That I wasn't regretting making this decision for the rest of my life. Or regretting not making this decision.

"Miss Monroe. The ceremony's going to start in thirty minutes." Olivia yelled through the door. I wiped my tears and cleared my throat.

"Okay. Thank you." I swallowed the rest of my tears - figuratively - and walked back to the mirror, making sure that my eyes weren't too red, and would clear up in the thirty minutes I had left before the ceremony.

I looked down at the front of my dress, lifting up the skirt of the dress to practice walking up and down stairs. I closed my eyes for one second and opened them again, to stare at not just myself in the mirror like I had done a million times it seemed in the past few days. The air caught in my throat as the figure behind me took off the black mask he was wearing. My heart stopped, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"What the hell?" I turned around quickly, the layered skirt following me around on the pedestal-type flooring. My heart was racing now, no longer stopped in a deadly pause.

"I prefer 'hello,' but I guess I'll take what I can get with you." Patrick said, his eyes lighter than I had seen them in a while.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I breathed. Of course, I was over the moon about seeing him again - meaning that if I hadn't been at my own wedding, wearing a wedding dress, and with thirty people outside my door, I'd take things a lot further than just a long conversation. But I was worried. If Alexander found him. If anyone found him - my father included - he'd be dead in seconds. And it didn't help that he was in his costume for the Justice League.

"What do you think? Really? I sure as hell didn't come here to watch you walk down the isle with another man. And I definitely did not come here to be heroic and get killed, if that's what you were thinking."

"You've been talking to Kam. Oh my God... why the hell did I trust her?"

"In her defense, I was the one who threatened her if she didn't tell me everything."

"You didn't-"

"You know me, Sarah. I'd never hurt my cousin. Especially when's she's pregnant. That's a disaster waiting to happen. No. I threatened her by threatening her... boyfriend? Partner, maybe? I don't know. Whatever the hell he is."

"Then you must know everything. Like why I'm doing this."

"To protect the Justice League. To protect Madeline. To protect me. Which you don't need to do."

"Really? Then tell me, why is it that when I suddenly affiliate myself with someone, they get hurt. Roy. Dinah. Oliver. You. You all are hurt in some form and way. And it's all because of me."

"Sarah..."

"You can't tell me that you don't believe that it's true. That I'm just a cause for disaster in other people's lives."

"My life isn't a disaster."

"Really? Because it seems to me that it's more than just a disaster. You move every two weeks, you stay away from civilization, you raise a child by yourself, and your mother is dying because you can't go to a hospital to get the proper medicine. That's all my fault."

"No. It's not. It's your father's. He's the one doing this."

"Yeah, because of me. He's my father. He's reacting to everything that I do. And not in a good way."

"Sarah, you can't blame yourself for everything."

"I'm not going to lie to myself." Stepping away, I fixed my hair in the mirror.

"Why are you being so hard on yourself?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I lied.

"Is it because of Alex? Is it because of me? Is there something else going on?"

"Why the hell do you always expect something else to be going on?" I was angry. And it was all because Patrick was right.

"Because this isn't like you. You've never been this self-critical of yourself, and suddenly now you are? I don't understand..."

"There's nothing to understand."

"And yet, you're still lying to me. This is a long shot, but it's worth a try..." I rose my brow and turned around, being caught on the mouth by Patrick's lips. It was as unexpected as his arrival, but I loved it. His hands were on my waist, and mine were on his neck. For a tiny sliver of a moment it was like the two of us were the only people in the world. That was, until the door opened.

I froze and pulled away from Patrick faster than I thought my feet could take me. Patrick's eyes were as wide as Olivia's as we all stared at each other. I swallowed.

"Tell anyone, you're as good as dead." Patrick said, voice steady and calm, and deep. Olivia shook in fear, and my heart almost melted for her. She was only a civilian. A scared one.

I exchanged a glance with Patrick, and we both had the same idea. She had to be hidden. Which only meant one thing. We had to tie her up.