Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead.

a/n: I've been so busy with work and with things at home, and also I've been struggling with a really bad case of writers block in regards to this particular chapter. As I've had to change my intended plot, there are a few things that Merle has now had to deal with. This chapter really has not been one of the easiest to write-it has been a total nightmare, and it feels like I've been to hell and back writing this. But now it's done, and hopefully the next chapters will be a lot easier to write.

The one line that Daryl says...yes I know it was used in the series in regards to different people, but that line...hell, I've been dying to use it here. So I did :p

...

"He shouldn't have done what he did, Carol," Maggie said. "You can't try and justify any of it."

"I'm not making any excuses for him...but I feel bad about all of this," Carol answered.

Merle paused outside Carol's cell at the sound of their voices. He narrowed his eyes, leaning closer to the wall, trying to ignore the sounds of the other residents in the prison wing, muffled and bustling about underneath where his boots were planted firmly on the metal of the gangway.

"You shouldn't be making any excuses-we all saw what happened."

"I know," Carol sighed, tiredness plain in her voice. "I know how it seems, but I honestly didn't know that he would react like that."

"I've told the council."

Merle leaned more towards the cell at the sound of the Asian's voice. "I don't know what action they're going to take, but something has to be done," Glenn answered. "When it comes down to it, we don't know much about him and what he was doing in Woodbury."

Merle huffed at that, glancing away from the bars of the cell door and grasping his prosthesis with his hand. No, nobody really knew what he'd done back there, and he'd only told her a small amount of it. He could only imagine their reactions if they knew what he'd done, what Blake had made him do.

He had no regrets over kicking the shit out of that cock sucking bastard Scott-the only regret was that he hadn't had done it damn well sooner. It was his fault that Carol had gotten involved in this...it was because she was stupid enough to be with his miserable self that had gotten her into this situation. If she'd had stayed the hell away like all those times he had warned, none of this would have happened. And now he had to face the repercussions of his actions-and he could only imagine how a certain damn officer asshole was going to gloat over this. Probably a few of those other self satisfied pricks too.

And of course it had to be the Asian punk to go and rat on his ass-that fact wasn't lost on him at all. Glenn had been wanting to get his own back for what he done to him and his pretty little girlfriend.

"After this, he has lost any right to be in this group. He doesn't belong here-we can't trust him," Maggie said, and he could hear the sudden vehemence in her voice.

Merle leaned against the wall, the sudden fight that had been coursing through his veins fading and leaving a sourness that he couldn't shrug from off himself. The assholes were probably right. He had no part in the prison or with the group-he was too volatile and they were just waiting for him to fuck up to give them the excuse to get rid of him.

He grimaced, dropping his hand from his prosthetic to swat at the sweat beading on his brow. He knew what he had to do-and as much as he didn't want to do it, he'd have to. He didn't want to be the cause of any more problems for his brother, or for her.

Casting a reluctant glance towards Carol's cell, he pushed himself off the wall and slipped quietly down the metal gangway back towards his cell.

…

He pulled the backpack that he used for runs from underneath his bunk, staring at it sullenly, before sighing and reaching across to grab at a handful of spare clothing that was stacked neatly in the far corner of his cell. His eyes traveled across the small room, and he quirked an eyebrow as he saw one of his paperback books on his nightstand. He grabbed at it, thrusting it into the backpack along with the clothing.

He bit at his lip, taking a momentary stock of belongings that he would need to take with him, making a mental note to raid the pantry for a few cans of food with ring pulls and water bottles-enough to tide him over until he found himself a new place and new area, far from the where the prison was.

"Merle? You wanna tell me what the hell is going on?"

He glanced up quickly and saw his brother staring at him in confusion. He watched as Daryl raised his hand to his mouth and worriedly bit at his thumbnail. "Keep out'a this, little brother. This ain't nothin' to concern you."

"Like shit it ain't," Daryl hissed, watching his brother intently. He narrowed his eyes, "You gonna tell me what you been up to?

"Finally went an' put down that bastard, Scott," Merle said pointedly, "An' it felt damn good too, I ain't gonna lie. I doubt yer lil friends are gonna be so happy about it though-and I sure as hell ain't gonna waste my time pissin' my pants waiting for that judgmental asshole Rick Grimes to pass verdict on my ass. No siree. I'm getting the fuck out'a here while the going's still good."

"So...you're just gonna hightail yer ass out of here, huh? You're gonna run Merle? Like you always do? What about Carol? You figured that out, or you just gonna leave her like you've always left me?"

Merle turned and grabbed at his brother, catching his shirt in his hand and twisting it, before shoving him abruptly against the wall. He leaned his face in towards Daryl's, his eyes blazing angrily. "You don't know shit."

Daryl glared at him, standing his ground. "I know you're a goddamned coward, Merle."

Merle thrust his chin out defiantly, "You think they're gonna allow me to stay here after that? What you got in that head of yours Darlina? Shit for brains, huh? Wise up boy, they've been looking for an excuse to kick my ass out'a here, an' I been gone an' given them a reason. It don't matter none why I did it."

"You still ain't said why," Daryl questioned.

Merle leaned back and shook his head, his fingers loosening their grip in his brothers shirt. "Ain't got to give a reason," he said sighing. He saw the look in his brother's eyes, and relented a little.

"Look Daryl...I turn round after beating the crap out'a that ass wipe- an' I see Glenn and Maggie gawking at me like I'm shit on the goddamn sidewalk. Lookin' at me like they did right before I hauled their asses off to Woodbury. Ya know, good old times, yeah." He paused, glancing at Daryl and seeing the pained expression on his face. "You know they ain't wantin' me here, brother. If it weren't for that sweet little thing of a mouse-I reckon I'd been long gone. I ain't stupid-I ain't got no rightful place here, not like you."

Daryl stared at him, then shook his head in disbelief. "You know what? Ya need ta grow the fuck up, Merle. It ain't always about you. You ain't never seeing the bigger picture, ya dumbass. You just think about ya damned self. When we were kids... and when you were high and off your damn fuckin' head with your tweaker friends, you had a reason to be an asshole. Now you're clean and you're here, and I'm seeing that ya ain't got no reason no more. If you're gonna run, just do it Merle. Get the fuck out of here. I ain't needing you."

Merle gaped at him, "What the hell?"

Daryl paced across the cell floor, shrugging. He paused at the cell door, turning his head and glancing over his shoulder, "Ya heard me brother. I'm done with your crap."

Merle watched as Daryl walked away, listening to the sounds of his boots thumping on the hard ground and then fading into the distance. He narrowed his eyes as he tore his gaze from the cell door, turning his head to look sourly at his backpack.

…

"I was wondering when you were going to make an appearance," Hershel said from his seat as he watched Merle stride into the room. He placed the book that he'd been reading face down on the table in front of him, and clasped his hands over the table top.

"Whatever ole man." He glanced around the library, "Where's Ranger Rick? Thought that asshole would be here to gloat. An' where's the rest of y'all do fuckin' gooders?"

Hershel shook his head as Merle dragged a chair across the floor and sat heavily in it, his hand catching out and grasping at his prosthetic arm, his fingers fidgeting across the dull metal. "There's no need of that, Merle," he reprimanded softly. "There wasn't any need for Rick to be here."

"Huh," Merle grunted. "So y'all been discussing me? I bet Glenn couldn't wait to rat on my ass."

"No. Actually, Glenn vouched for you. The same as Maggie did." Merle looked at Hershel quickly and frowned. "There's no need to be so surprised, son. They told me and a few of the other council members what happened."

Merle grimaced sourly, "Oh yeah, I bet they fuckin' did."

Hershel glanced up, shaking his head slightly. "Merle? You're not doing yourself any favors. I can understand that you're thinking the worst, but from what I've heard-Scott's behavior was inexcusable. We can't, and will not tolerate any kind of behavior like that here. Right now, Scott is locked up in his cell. He has a bust rib, bruising and contusions, some minor lacerations to his face and a broken nose. I've fixed him up to the best of my ability...and I need not remind you that I am more used to treating cattle and horses, not people," he said wryly.

"I don't know why ya bothered. He ain't nothin' but garbage." Merle stared at him for a moment, "Look, can we just cut the crap and get to the damn point, Hershel?" he demanded.

He was feeling downright uncomfortable and wary of what the hell was going to happen to him. It annoyed him that he'd gone against his gut instinct to run-but if the truth were to be told, Daryl's' words had hit too close to home. He didn't know if he was here to prove a point to his brother, or to prove a point to himself.

Hershel looked at him, inclining his head briefly and gazing away to look across the library. "A human life is a life. It goes against my nature to think differently, Merle-especially the days that we live in now."

"The asshole was asking for it. I weren't about to let him go an' hurt her, Hershel."

"I know, son." Hershel sighed deeply, scratching at his beard, "And if I am honest with myself...given my prior statement, I can't say that I blame you for what you did. I would do everything in my power to defend my girls-Maggie and Bethy. But you've got to understand it was the wrong way to react. We can't act so impulsively and use our fists. We have a council for-"

"Ya really think I was gonna sit on my goddamned ass while he was hurting her...and wait for y'all to make a decision? Fuck that," Merle spat.

"If everyone took matters into their own hands, we'd soon have a crisis," Hershel said. "It's why we have a council and you need to understand that, Merle. The council haven't fully decided what we are going to do where Scott is concerned. But, we do not take lightly abuse towards our womenfolk. That is totally unacceptable."

Merle sighed under his breath. After everything that she had been through with her bastard of a husband, she didn't need to be dealing with shit like this from a stranger. For all his faults-and Merle knew damn well that he had a whole load of those-he had never in his life physically hurt a woman. He had seen enough of that shit from his cunt of a father to last him a lifetime.

He looked up quickly as Hershel rose to his feet a little too unsteadily, dragging his crutch under his arm. Merle made to rise up from his chair to help the old man, but Hershel just gave him a small smile and waved away his attempts to help.

He frowned as Hershel hobbled towards him, trying not to flinch as the old man paused, clapping one hand on his shoulder.

"She's a good woman, Merle. Probably one of the best that you'll ever know."

Merle glanced away from him quickly. "I don't know what the hell ya mean by that."

"I may be old and I may be bordering on senility at times, but one thing I am not, is blind. I've seen how the two of you are together."

"What ya been seeing ain't meanin' no damn thing, Hershel." He squirmed in his seat staring fixedly at the wood of the library floor and trying to ignore Hershel's earnest look. It was starting to damn well feel like every one in the prison knew what was happening between him and Carol.

"You can try and hide it all you want, but your actions speak louder than words. You wouldn't have done what you did otherwise. I've said this to you before Merle, different circumstances I know, but the meaning is the same. Don't let your pride and stubbornness get in your way. We all need someone...and I think that maybe you've found that out for yourself. The good Lord in his mercy saw fit to bless me not once, but twice with the love of a good woman."

Hershel stared at him for a moment, squeezing his hand on his shoulder before lifting it off and grasping at his crutch, turning to walk out of the room. "You're lucky to have Carol in your life. Don't fuck it up, son."

Merle watched as the old man hobbled out of the room, sighing all the pent up frustration from out of his lungs. He felt weary and confused. What he had expected to happen...hadn't and now he was at a complete loss. He sat for a moment, staring at his prosthetic, wanting to go and see Carol, but half fearing her reaction. He had expected Hershel to read him the riot act...he had thought that their self appointed council would have just kicked his miserable ass from the prison, but they hadn't done any of that shit. And now he honestly didn't know what to expect from her either...but the urge to turn tail and hide out somewhere until the shit blew over was starting to tempt him.

He got to his feet, irritably kicking his chair away and as he raised his hand he looked at the dried blood smeared across and on his knuckles. Indecisiveness crowded his thoughts. He hadn't seen Carol for a while, and he felt like an asshole for not checking to see how she was.

Chewing at his lip, he eventually made his mind up and he paced restlessly across the library, shoving the door open and walking smack into Glenn.

"What the hell, Kim Chi? What ya doing out here, being all sneaky and shit?" he barked loudly in surprise.

"Merle...I was just coming to see you," Glenn backed away, putting space between them. "You've spoken to Hershel?"

"Oh, yeah. We had ourselves an interesting little talk," he frowned.

"And?"

Merle shrugged, "What ye want me to say? Adios amigo? Nice fuckin' knowing ya?"

Glenn rolled his eyes, "I didn't mean that." He glanced away from him, staring down the corridor. "Have you been to see Carol? She was asking Maggie if she'd seen you around."

"No. I ain't gone seen her yet. I...huh...I was busy. Not that it's anything to do with you, boy." Merle was damned if he was going to admit that if it hadn't had been for Daryl, he would have been winging his ass away from the prison hours ago. He looked at Glenn cautiously, narrowing his eyes. "Is she alright?"

"She's fine. Just a little shaken up by what happened," Glenn said.

He nodded his head regretfully, yeah he bet she was. Thank fuck that little asshole was locked up behind bars...and Merle couldn't help but feel the irony of that, considering what they all now called home. "I gotta be going." He raised an eyebrow at Glenn and made to shove his way forcibly past him.

"Merle," Glenn called out.

He stopped in his tracks, his shoulders stiffening as he turned his head to stare at the Asian. "What?" he said curtly.

Glenn met his gaze unwaveringly. "Remember when you found us? Before you kidnapped me and Maggie and took us back to Woodbury with you?"

Merle sighed angrily, "I ain't gonna do this with you now, Kim. I ain't got the time or the damn inclination."

Glenn stepped closer to him, his dark eyes fixed unflinchingly on his. "I would have done anything to save Maggie. I still would. This with Carol and Scott? The frustration, the anger-knowing that you'd do almost anything in this damn world to save them and feeling powerless to stop any of it? You know what it feels like now, Merle."

Merle stared at him in surprise and was about to retort back, but the look on Glenn's face stopped him, and he thought better of it, clamping his mouth tightly shut. Glenn was right. He would have done any damn thing.

"Look, that before...Woodbury an' all? I ain't gonna make any excuses for what I did then. All you had to do was tell me where my brother was. But ya fuckin' didn't. I ain't gonna apologize for that, so don't ya go expecting me to. Yeah I've made a few shitty bad decisions, but that...that one was on you. I would've even called it quits on what happened back there in Atlanta, but ya didn't give me any damn choice. All I wanted was to see my brother."

"There's no excuse for what you did, Merle. What happened to Maggie? I can never forgive you for that," Glenn retorted hotly.

"Yeah, yeah I know," Merle grunted, gritting his teeth. "Huh...look, I told ya before-we ain't ever gonna be friends, an' we ain't got to be liking each other either, but we have to get along. Reckon we should agree to disagree on a few things, alright?"

Glenn sighed tightly, dropping his eyes from his to stare intently at the far wall. "Okay. You're right."

Merle looked at him thoughtfully, "So, we're all done with this shit?"

Glenn nodded, and Merle turned away from the younger man, taking a few steps before he heard him call his name again.

"A few of us are going on a supply run tomorrow, and... I'd like it if you'd come with us," Glenn asked cautiously.

Merle glanced at him in surprise, seeing the wary look painted on the younger mans face. He wondered if Glenn was offering him some sort of weird assed proverbial olive branch, and he knew damn well that he would be an ornery asshole if he didn't accept the younger mans obvious begrudging request. "Alright. I'll huh..see ya in the morning, Glenn."

"Okay," Glenn nodded, "Good." He offered Merle a small half hearted smile that appeared to be more of a grimace, before stepping past him hurriedly.

Merle sighed as he watched the Asian disappear into the prison wing. It seemed today was the mother fucking day of complete and utter goddamned fucking mysteries. He wanted and craved a cigarette badly, but he remembered that he'd left them in his cell...and as much as he wanted a smoke, he wanted and ached to see Carol more.

He glanced around the prison wing narrowly, making sure that there was no other fucker that was going to stop and want to talk crap to him, before making his way up the metal gangway to her cell.

She was sat on her bunk, one of his old shirts pulled across her lap, her head bent down in concentration, a needle and thread held in her fingers. She was completely unaware that he was stood there watching her. He leaned his shoulder to the cell door, the cool metal of the bars pressing against him and his gaze softened as he looked at her. He felt a pang as he watched her fixing up his shirt, and he realized that she was trying to repair the one that he'd worn when he'd stupidly tried to take on the Governor.

"Hey," he said softly, pushing himself away from the door and finally stepping into her cell.

Carol glanced up at him, the needle and thread falling from her fingers to land on the floor. She stood up quickly, his old shirt fluttering and falling across her thighs and she caught at it awkwardly with one hand, her fingers curling into the dark material.

Merle strode towards her, reaching out and taking the shirt from her, dropping it on to the mattress. "Look, hell...I'm sorry mouse. I should'a come seen ya earlier-"

"Merle," she said quietly, and he swallowed quickly at the sound of tears in her voice.

"Ah shit darlin'," he breathed. "What did he do to ya?"

She shook her head, "Can we not talk about it now, please?" She moved closer to him, slipping her arms around his waist and pressing her cheek firmly to his chest. "Don't talk. Don't say anything, Merle. I just want you to hold me."

He did as she asked without question and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. He held her with his prosthetic gently, his hand reaching out and cupping her head, pressing her to him. He frowned, his fingers smoothing through her hair and he kissed the top of her head, her hair brushing softly against his nose.

They stood that way for a long time, his fingers trailing through her hair, his cheek resting against her. Her hand slipped from his waist, pressing to his chest, and he wondered if she could feel the beat of his heart as it thudded pitifully in his chest. She looked up at him and smiled softly, and he lowered his head, brushing his lips gently across hers.

"Well shit man...if this ain't looking like one of them goddamn romance novels."

He almost jumped out of his own damn skin at the sound of his brothers voice suddenly booming through the small cell. "Jesus, Daryl...yer timing sucks for fucks sake, little brother," Merle growled.

"Yeah, and yer a fine one to talk, Merle. Ya big dumbass," Daryl replied, smiling as he watched them.

Carol leaned a little from him to glance across to his brother, "Stop it, the both of you," she chided them softly.

"Merle?" Daryl asked, his voice suddenly low and full of emotion. "What I said earlier-shit man. I didn't mean any of it. I just wanted ya to know, brother."

"Don't ya go an' lie to me Daryl. Ya meant every damn word," Merle said quickly, "An' I'm glad that ya did. Shit needed to be said. You were right."

"What needed to be said?" Carol asked softly.

"Ain't nothin' really darlin'. Jus' me being a dumbass and my baby brother kicking butt," Merle said.

She looked up at him, pursing her lips and only humming in response.

Daryl shifted restlessly at the cell door, and Merle noticed that he had his crossbow strapped to his back. "I gotta go. I just wanted to see ya both before I left."

"Where ya going, Daryl?" he asked curiously.

"I'm gonna go fer a few days, hunting."

"Want me to come with you?" Merle questioned, stepping back and smirking slightly as Carol tightened her arm around his waist briefly, her fingers digging into the small of his back.

"Nah," Daryl shook his head, "You need ta be here, Merle," he said, looking at the both of them, and backing slowly out of the cell.

Merle let go of Carol reluctantly, moving away and towards his brother. "Thanks man," he said softly. His brother gave him a brief nod, his eyes skipping past the both of them to stare rigidly down the cell block.

Carol moved past him, and Merle watched as she touched at Daryl's cheek carefully, "Be safe out there, Daryl. Come back to us in one piece."

"I will," Daryl nodded again. His hand caught out and touched her arm quickly, before dropping back to his side. "Look after that dumbass of a brother of mine. Keep him out'a trouble."

"I'll certainly try to," she said wryly.

"The hell, woman?" Merle scoffed as Daryl strode away from them. He leaned out of the cell and watched as his brother disappeared from view, before tugging at the blanket that had been half pulled back from the cell doors. It fell thickly, shrouding them in darkness and Merle was surprised at how quick the damned day had flown by.

Carol moved across the cell, lighting the little lamp on her nightstand. She turned and looked at Merle, "I suppose we should go down and join the others-it's gotten so late."

"I ain't bothered," he replied. "I ain't seen ya...not since-" he frowned, glancing away from her.

"Not now Merle, please," she said as she sat on her bunk, looking up at him and offering him a small wan smile as she patted at the empty space next to her.

He raised his eyebrows as he went across and sat down, and he reached his arm out, wrapping it around her as she edged closer to him, her head resting on his chest. He pressed his lips to her forehead, smirking a little as she moved and snuggled up to him, her one hand slipping about his neck.

He listened as the sounds of her breathing got steadily slower and deeper in the quiet of the room, and he glanced down at her, smiling as he saw that she had fallen asleep. He curled his arm around her, holding her more firmly against him, wondering at the fact that for the first time in his life-he felt that he actually was a part of something.

What that something was-he wasn't exactly sure, but he would find out and even if that meant that part of it was accepting the olive branch Glenn had seemed to offer, then he would do so and he would try his best not to fuck things up.

But, he couldn't one hundred percent guarantee that shit still wouldn't happen.

...