Personal space: Once again, thanks to all of you who had read this story, whot put it in the fav list or in the follow one... It means a lot to me! Special thanks for zoeperja and goldacharmed for their rewievs. You made my day.

As always, if you can real this chapter is due to my beta InsertImaginativeNameHere... so... thank you really much!

Chapter 3: Deal?

-Finally! Time for dinner! Are you coming, Matt?-

Foggy got up from the chair behind the desk of Matt's office which the two of them were sharing to work on a new case. It was something they used to do since they had become associates at Landman and Zack

They used to sit together reading documents and searching info on the internet, talking about what they had found and doing a sort of brainstorming to came up with a possible strategy.

It was around 10 pm, not exactly the right time for a full dinner, but Stick's visit had shocked both of them, and Foggy couldn't manage to calm down by himself, so Matt had thought that it might be more useful for his friend to begin to work on their new client's requests instead of going home and only to keep thinking about what happened.

Besides, if Foggy was with him, he could protect him.

-Yeah. I'm coming-

Matt tried not to think that it could be one of the last meals he would have with his best friend. He had no idea of the intentions of his old mentor, but he was sure that if he really wanted his help, he would find a way to use him. As always.

Every time the lawyer thought about it, anger and frustration rose in him, making him wish he wasn't so weak.

Your family his your almost could hear Stick's voice in his head, telling him not to be such a mawkish pussy. He shook his head to clear his mind. He had to stay lucid and think.

-Are you ok, buddy?- Foggy asked for the hundredth time, not without reason. He was aware that he'd been probably the most terrible company that day, but his brain was working really hard to find a way out. However, deep down, he knew that there was only one thing to do in order to save his friends.

He didn't dare to ask more about the blind man than what Matt had said to him, but he couldn't really stop asking him if he could handle the situation, and the brown-haired lawyer couldn't blame Foggy for that.

-I'm ok- he replied, then he decided to clarify, knowing that Foggy wouldn't stop caring about him. (Probably he wouldn't anyway, but it was worth a try) -Stick is... was an important part of my past. Without him teaching me I would probably have been driven mad, but he wants me to be his soldier, to be completely focus on this war he thinks is going on...-

-He wants you to be a killer, too?- Foggy interrupted him, probably for the first time since their fight. He usually let him talk and then he asked questions, when he needed to understand something better. This wasn't the case. Matt understood he was probably scared to death, behind this kind of mask of a concerned friend he was trying to keep on his face, successfully, at least for now.

-Probably- he started, then he rectified himself, choosing to be completely honest - Yes. He wants me cross that line-

-Can he?- Matt could clearly hear his friend's fear, right now. The mask had fallen apart, revealing a really nervous and terrified Foggy. The blind man found himself strongly moved by the show of concern. He always considered his partner like family, because he was the only one he had in his life, but so far he hadn't fully realized that it was the same for Foggy. That made things more difficult for him, and, for a second, his resolution had shaken.

You can't go back, Murdock. He told to himself, his inner voice so similar to Stick's it was annoying. It's for his safety.

-What?- he asked.

-Make you do that-

-I don't think so- If only I could be as certain as I sound...

-And what about... I mean.. you almost killed Fisk after Miss Cardenas' death...what if he can push some button and make you become a killer?- Nothing to say about that. Foggy was a damn good lawyer. He knew exactly what to ask and when. Like right now.

You mean what if he touches you or Karen...or Claire? He thought, but he buried his fear under the menu of the small restaurant Foggy had taken him to, pretending he could actually see it.

-Matt?-

-What?-

-You can really read it?-

-Not at all- he admitted, and at the same time he cursed himself. That was a rookie mistake. Now Foggy would know that he had something else in his mind -I was just... - he tried to save himself, to prevent Foggy from knowing he had already decided what to do. -overthinking-

-About Stick?-

He nodded, a sad smile on his face. He was trying so hard enjoy the night, to focus on Foggy, to joke and eat with him as usual, but his heart refused to support him. He really, really wanted to change the subject of the conversation, but, again, his soul had decided for him, and he found himself talking about his time at the asylum and about Stick finding him.

-You know... when he came to the orphanage, the very first time, I was going crazy. All those noises around me, they were overwhelming me...-

-He saved you?-

-In his own way...yes. He did. Then he left me.- he couldn't avoid his tone becoming bitter when he began to explain why his mentor left him. He'd realized in that moment that for all those years, he had felt guilty about that; that if he hadn't given him that stupid piece of paper he'd never have abandoned him. He could have been a good soldier, or pretended to be one, just to have someone who cared about him. -For a bracelet-

-For what?-

And Matt told him the truth about the months he spent with Stick, training himself and becoming stronger everyday and also how the man had left him when he had dared to make him that little present.

Then something, while he was still talking, something had happened in his mind.

In that moment, he really understood that Stick no longer had any influence over him. All that fear, the awe for him, they were all in his head, but they had no more reason to exist.

He was no longer the lonely kid Stick had found at the orphanage.

He did it. Even without Stick. He found Foggy, Karen, Claire, even Mrs. Cardenas.

Everything Matt would decide, he would do it for the safety of his family, not down to fear of Stick.

He was a grown man, and that old blind guy would never control him again.

He suddenly felt quite stupid for the panic attack he had experienced when the man had shown up earlier.

Foggy was really impressed.

Although he and Matt had been friends since the first time they'd met, and Matt basically knew everything about his partner's family, he had never spoken too much about his past willingly, and Foggy had never insisted on that either.

For him, it was really easy to talk about his happy childhood and how much his mother wanted for him to be a butcher, and because of that, he could barely imagine the pain Matt had suffered, so he never asked any questions, even if he had always been ready to listen to him and comfort him any time he needed.

Sometimes the blind guy had told him about his father, or, once or maybe twice, about the time he had spent in the orphanage, but he never had gone into as much depth as he was doing right now, and the blond lawyer didn't exactly know how to feel about that. He felt somehow honoured by this sudden confession, but he was also asking himself why Matt was saying all this just now. Was Matt thinking of doing something stupid?

Shut up, you paranoid! He told himself. He's just sharing a part of his life he couldn't tell you before because of his secret. Probably he's just getting everything off his chest. Now, be a good friend, shut up and listen to him.

This time, he didn't need his best friend's superpowers to feel how painful it had been for him, how for a moment he had thought, or better, hoped, with all his heart, he had found someone who could actually replace his father, just to find out that the man had never really cared about him.

He felt, now more than ever, a real distance between the two of them. They were both born and raised in Hell's Kitchen, and their paths eventually met that day at the Columbia University, but their lives before that were totally different. He wondered how they had ended up in such a friendship.

-Man...- was the only word he could say, barely able to look Matt in his blind eyes.

-You know? He kept it. The bracelet-

-He did?-

-Yeah. I found it the night we fought at my place-

Foggy didn't really know what to say about that. Some bell, in his head, was saying to him Stick had planned everything. Everyone who could spend some time with Matt Murdock knew how emotional that guy was.

He was silent, you could say even shy, but he was led almost only by his feelings, and that had put him in trouble more times than Foggy could remember.

So, if this Stick was dangerous and cruel as Matt was saying, he could easily have let the bracelet drop to make him think he cared about him.

-What do you want to say?-

Damn Murdock and his superpowers.

-Nothing you wanna hear-

-Try me-

-Nope-

-Foggy...-

-Shut up, Matt. I'd really want to say what I am thinking, but it'd probably lead to a fight, so I'm going to keep my mouth shout-

Matt sighed, but also gave a little smile.

They ate quietly and then they separated to go to their own homes.

-Are you going to join me or not?-

For the first time in his adult life, Matt jumped out of his skin . He had been home for about an hour, and he hadn't noticed Stick's presence until he made himself apparent .

When he had spoken, the young man was barely awake, completely unaware Stick was in the apartment. He sat up immediately, almost trapped in his own sheets.

He heard his heart running fast, and he concentrated on calming himself down. He had to stay calm, and go ahead with the plan he had come up with just before going to bed.

You can do this. He told himself. Your mind controls your body, and you are no longer the scared kid you were twenty years ago.

He didn't really want to talk to him, but he forced himself to.

Matt got up, throwing his white sheets away and faced his former mentor man to man.

For a moment, he had thought he could pretend to be the same, scared guy Stick'd met at "Nelson & Murdock", but he soon realized it wasn't possible. Stick had taught him how to recognize humans' emotions and feelings by listening to their heartbeats. He could manage to fake with regular people, even with Foggy sometimes, but he had no chance with the old man, so he didn't even try to do that.

Let's let Stick know I am following him because of people I care about.

Let's show him family can also be source of strength.

-Yes- he answered without a hint of kindness in his voice -but we make a deal. Here and now. Forever. I'll do whatever you want. You stay away from my family-

-Your family? Oh, Matty, Matty... you still believe you can have one?-

Matt ignored him. He didn't care what the old man thought. It was his own life.

-Deal?- He asked in the same cold voice.

-Deal-

-What's the plan?-

-We are leaving, kid. Right now. Take your cane and leave everything behind-

Matt felt his heart suddenly heavy. He had thought that something like this could happen, obviously (and for his friends' sakes, it was even the best thing) but he felt sick anyway.

He is no longer controlling you. He reminded to himself, just to be sure. You are doing this for your family. You will come back, and you will not cross that line.

And this time, his inner voice sounded more like a mash-up between the ones of all the people he cared about. He felt a little smile reaching his face, but he forced himself to to stay serious.

Matt Murdock had to die, at least for now, he knew that.

He perfectly knew he was going to break Foggy's heart (again), but he couldn't do anything else. He wished he had seriously calculated the possibility of leaving, he wished he had left a message, or something for them at the office, but he hadn't had, and now it was too late.

I'm sorry, Foggy. Please, don't hate me.

He left his phone, still on, on the couch and followed his mentor.