Disclaimer: I don't own but I wish I did. All characters belong to Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Author's note: Sorry, it's been so long and this chapter is too short. However, I felt I should post something.

Betrayal

Chapter Five

Buffy had spent the last week in a haze. It had been one of the most emotionally draining weeks of her life. Everyone was wondering where Spike had disappeared to and Buffy was sick of answering their question. She had never been a good liar, and as a result she figured that nobody believed her excuses. All of this was nothing compared waking up in the morning without him beside her. His familiar presence had anchored her during her most terrifying nightmares. She still had those dreams, where she woke in her coffin, scratching, screaming and crying. It was not something that happened frequently, but occasionally she found herself back in that place. Every morning she awoke expecting to find him there and the misery would hit her again. She was going to work but many of her colleagues were avoiding her as she was liable to bite their heads off for no apparent reason. Dawn was calling over regularly and keeping her company. Spike was still refusing to take her calls which annoyed her no end. She knew she had no right to expect anything of him but still he was being childish. It was on one of those regular visits that Dawn confessed that she had been in touch with Spike a few times and that he was in Cleveland with Gunn while he cleared his head. It hurt to know that Spike would rather confide in her sister than him. She could hardly blame him. While her sister was being supportive Buffy could tell that she was disappointed in her. She seemed to have a pattern of letting people down of late. Dawn had looked at her earnestly. "Promise me something, Buffy. If you're not sure of what you want, leave him alone."

Buffy's eyes were drawn to the phone yet again. She wanted to try his phone again, despite the fact that the likelihood that he would answer the phone was next to nothing. She was turning into psycho Buffy. She restrained herself for another hour before she succumbed to picking up the handset. It rang three times and by some miracle it was picked up.

"Spike," she croaked.

However, it wasn't Spike, but there was another familiar voice instead. "Hey, B! Spike can't come to phone right now."

"Faith! What the hell are you doing answering Spike's phone?" Buffy's eyebrows went right up into her head. "Are you trying to make it a clean sweep, huh? Angel, then Riley and now Spike."

Faith sounded hurt. "Hey, that's uncalled for."

Buffy was on a roll now. "Is it? Spike has a thing for slayers and you have a thing for my boyfriends."

"Oh B, you're such a hypocrite. You cheated on him, not the other way around. For your information Spike has a thing for you, not a thing for slayers. Even if I wanted, which I don't by the way, Spike wouldn't come near me."

Buffy was silent and chastened. She realised the truth of Faith's words; she was both jealous and a hypocrite.

"Look B, I don't know what went down between you, but the man still loves you. He wouldn't be so upset if he didn't. He has girls throwing themselves at him, and he didn't so much as bat an eyelid. Poor boy's so Buffy whipped that he wouldn't know what to do with another woman."

She knew it made her a bitch, but she was relieved to hear that he was still thinking about her, even if it was about how much she hurt him.

"Do you think he can forgive me?" Buffy didn't know why she was asking Faith of all people. It wasn't they were friends but she couldn't help herself.

"I don't know, B, but he sure as hell ain't over you."

"Not the same thing," Buffy muttered.

When Buffy got off the phone, she was on the verge of tears. She needed to talk to someone that wasn't Dawn. Her little sister was too close to the situation, to Spike. If only her mother was alive. She was terrified of being pregnant, of losing Spike and of raising a child. Joyce always knew the right things to say, but her mother wasn't here. The only person she had shared her worries with was Dawn. She hadn't yet worked up the courage to tell her friends she was pregnant and let alone that it was Angel's. They all knew that she had had a huge fight with Spike and he had taken off for a bit. She knew the gang would find out eventually and maybe she could start with Willow. There were some things you needed your girl best friend for and being pregnant was one of them. Her mind made up, she dialled the redhead's number. Willow answered her cell phone promptly. "Hey Buff."

Buffy spoke softly. "Will, there's something I need to talk to you about. Can you please come over?"

Her friend sounded concerned. "Buff, are you ok?"

Buffy scoffed. "I don't want to talk about it on the phone. I just need to talk."

"Of course, I'll be there in a few hours."

Later that evening, Willow arrived with a box of chocolates and Buffy's favourite ice-cream. Buffy threw her arms around her when she came in the door. Willow hugged her back tight. Once the greetings were over and done with, the two women headed to the kitchen for some bowls. Buffy felt nervous and two exchanged meaningless gossip about their workplace.

They were sitting on the sofa, when Willow finally asked the question they had been dancing around for the past half hour. "So, what's this thing you want to tell me?"

Buffy bit her lip. "I've done something awful, Will. I'm going to tell you something and I need for you to listen and not to judge."

Willow looked surprised at this, but nodded giving her ascent. "I promise."

Buffy took a deep breath and began. Willow sat patiently and quietly through the story. Her brown eyes were compassionate and she squeezed Buffy's hand. "Thanks for telling me."

Buffy supressed a sob. "I seem to cry all the time."

"That's completely understandable." Willow patted her hand. "It's the hormones."

"I know." Buffy smiled weakly. "Is it wrong that I'm glad I am pregnant? I never thought that I wanted a child, but now I really want this baby."

"Of course, it is. This is your baby, no matter how he or she was conceived."

The two women embraced, and for the first time, Buffy felt like maybe she could do this.