Disclaimer: Can I please borrow these characters, Mr Whedon and Mutant Enemy? I promise I won't hurt them (much).

Betrayal

Chapter Eight

Spike had tossed and turned all night. It had been only a few hours since he had gone to see Buffy and found Angel there. He knew he would have to speak with Buffy again but he had made up his mind now and there was nothing that would change it. It hurt to realise that it was truly over. Yet, it gave him a strange sense of peace at the same time. It was the first thing he was sure of since that horrible day he learned Buffy had betrayed him. He conceded he probably had overreacted the day before. He could have listened to the inevitable explanation; however this was an indication of what the future had in store if he took Buffy back. There was a time when he would never have thought of rejecting her. He had learned something important things that year he spent away from Buffy. He could be someone in his own right. He had always defined himself by his relationships. He was the loving son, Drusilla's lover and partner in crime, and finally Buffy's lover. He knew he didn't need Buffy to survive and he could be a good person with or without her. He learned some self-respect that year despite the needling Angel gave him. He deserved better than then this sorry excuse for a relationship. He still loved her; after all you don't just stop loving someone. Nevertheless, his trust was lost and without trust there was nothing left for him. Also it was best to get out now because he knew he could easily stay and fall in love with the child she was carrying, even if it was Angel's. For if he stayed he was sure the whole thing would come to a sticky end and it would hurt all the more.

After a restless sleep he got out of bed shortly after Dawn, Michael and the kids had left for the day. He spotted the morning's newspaper left on the table and careful to avoid the light coming in the window grabbed the paper and took it with him. He searched through the classified section. He knew he had to find his own place. He couldn't be mooching off Nibblet for much longer. The Bit had a family to take care of now and since Giles had discovered his hidden talents for translation he earned a decent wage of his own. There were only two adverts that caught his eye and he took out his cell phone and made appointments for viewing later when it was dark. Once those appointments were made, he decided he had better call Giles and make arrangements to go back to work. He would have to apologize for leaving him in the lurch when he was only meant to leaving for a week.

"Hello," Giles said on the other end of the phone.

"Hi Rupes," Spike began awkwardly. "I wanted to let you know I was back."

"Oh good. Buffy said there were some problems in Cleveland, which meant you were longer than anticipated. As it happens I have a great deal of translation I could do with some help with."

"I can come over later when it's dark to collect them."

"You don't want me to drop them over, then? I've hardly seen Buffy these days.."

"No," Spike said firmly. "I'd prefer call over."

Giles sounded a little taken aback at his sharp tone. "Spike, is everything alright between you? You've both been acting a little strange of late."

Spike ignored the question. "I'll see you later, Rupert."

"Later, then," the watcher replied.

That visit wasn't going to be fun. When Giles was curious about something, he was tenacious. He had other things to deal with first though like telling Buffy his decision. After that he reckoned dealing with a probing Giles would be easy.

Spike was settled on an armchair with a mug of blood watching Coronation Street when Dawn and the kids arrived in the door.

"Hey Spike." She greeted him as he got up from his seat. She turned to her kids who looked ready to make a beeline to the vampire. "Dinner is in an hour. Get started on your homework. You can talk to Spike later."

She headed towards the kitchen and he followed.

She smiled at him. "How was your day?"

"I've been doing some hunting for a pad of my own."

"Oh." She looked surprised at that. She had obviously deduced from that his decision regarding his relationship with Buffy. "Maybe you shouldn't be making any snap decisions around about now."

He fixed her with a withering glare. "I thought you said you would support me no matter what my decision."

"I'm sorry, Spike. I'm not taking any sides. I'm just worried about you doing something you will regret."

"I'm sorry too, Bit. I didn't mean to snap. I know what I'm doing."

"Then you have my full support. Have you told her yet?"

"I sort of did last night in the heat of the moment, but we're going to talk properly tonight."

She patted his hand. "Remember I love you, doofus. You're the big dumb brother I never had."

He punched her arm playfully. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

She giggled. "I thought you were slow, but I never thought you were that slow."

He smiled affectionately at her. "You remind me of my best friend, when I was young. Her name was Amelia. We grew up together. She was a disparaging little chit as well."

As soon as it was dark enough, Spike headed over to see Buffy. He rang the doorbell. It felt strange to be doing that in his home but he knew it wouldn't be his home any longer. He waited anxiously at the door and a surprised Buffy opened it. She looked gorgeous in a black shirt and a pair of blue jeans.

"Can I come in?" he asked. "We need to talk."

"Of course." She moved away from the door to allow him in. She closed the door behind him and they stood awkwardly in the hallway. He didn't know where to begin. His planned speech didn't feel right. He owed this woman more.

"I really missed you," she whispered. She wrapped her arms around him. Her scent filled his nostrils and he felt like he was home. Things were never that simple though. He gulped and pulled away reluctantly. It wasn't fair to let her think this was going anywhere.

"I missed you too, Buffy." His gaze swept her body. "You look good."

She smiled shyly and took his hand. "We really need to talk and you ran out on me yesterday."

He nodded. "I just couldn't after seeing the grand poof there."

"I get it, Spike." She gave him a small smile. "Do you want a drink or something?"

He shook his head. "No. This isn't exactly a social call." His lips twisted into a painful smile.

"I guess it isn't."

This was fucking hard. He took a deep breath and decided to just blurt it out. There was no point putting off the inevitable. "I'm sorry, Buffy. It's over." His sorrowful blue eyes met hers. "I can't keep doing this. I don't trust you anymore and now with Angel's sprog in the mix there's no way it would work. Angel will always be around and I'll always be wondering if you want to be with him."

"Please no," she whispered. Her eyes were filled with tears. "Can't you give us a chance. Please."

He shook his head. "Buffy, I won't settle for second best anymore. That's all I've ever been to you; the stopgap until you and Angel finally get your act together."

"Oh Spike you were never second best. You meant more to me than you know."

"Why did I always feel like that then?"

She had no answer to that.

"I think I should go. I'll come back some day when you're at work to get my things and I'll drop my keys in the letterbox."

To be continued..