Disclaimer: The genius that created Buffy isn't me, but I enjoy borrowing characters for non-profit making fun.

Betrayal

Chapter Ten

The relief Spike had felt initially at his decision to end things with Buffy was soon replaced by rage. He found himself spending his evenings getting drunk and his nights beating on demons and vampires. He took out all that rage he had inside and directed it at the monsters that lurked in the dark. While that fulfilled his desire for violence, it did little to quell his loneliness. He had grown accustomed to the feel of her warm body next to his, her lithe body writhing in passion for him, and the feeling that he was truly loved at last. What a sodding idiot. Six years may not be a century, but it had been the happiest six years of Spike's unlife. All the time he had spent with Dru didn't compare. Bitches - both of them. But then he had always been love's bitch. Not anymore. Now he knew that those six years had been a lie. Buffy had been waiting for Peaches to come over all human and he was just convenient. It didn't matter what she said. He knew the truth now. She had lied to his face, claiming she wasn't looking for normal – the white picket fence and the two and a half kids. Normally he could smell that type of bullshit a mile away. She had him fooled. For Christ's sake if she said she had wanted children, they could have gone to a sperm donor or adoption. They could have raised them together. No it was Angel's child she wanted all along. She could continue lying to herself; he knew now that she wasn't over Angel. She was stubborn and wouldn't readily admit she had been biding her time. Nevertheless, it wouldn't be long before she would be back in Angel's arms though. He only hoped he would be over her before it got to that point. He didn't hold out much hope though.

So many thoughts swirled through his mind as he stood surveying the place he had called home for so long. Spike had waited until he was sure Buffy was out for the night and he would be uninterrupted. There were so many reminders of their life together. He didn't take much stuff with him. Most of the clutter in their home was theirs or Buffy's, and he didn't need any more reminders of their love affair. He could dredge up the memories well enough himself without any help. He had gathered his entire music collection and boxed it. There were a few dvds that he owned as well. He was putting off the most difficult part – going into their bedroom. Eventually when he had gathered everything and visited every room in the house, he knew he could avoid it no longer. He walked up the stairs clenching his fists in anger. To think she had taken Angel into their bed made his blood boil. He wanted to punch something. He took an unneeded breath before stepping into the room. It looked the same as he had left it and he tore open the wardrobe and took his clothing from the hangers. On the bottom of the wardrobe were his shoes and boots. He never was one for much variety of footwear, so it didn't take very long to box them all up. Finally, he went to the chest of drawers on what had always been his side of the bed. To his disgust he noticed the picture of himself and Buffy was still on the top of the chest. It was a picture of them hugging on the first day they moved into the house. He scowled at it, barely restraining himself from smashing it. Was Angel starring at it when he was fucking her? Was she looking at it when she opened her legs? He wished now he had brought somebody with him to keep his mind off things. He couldn't help the angry thoughts that swirled in his head. He rubbed his forehead and trying to calm himself. The quicker he did this the sooner he was done. Then he never would have to return to this place again.

Two hours later, Spike was back in his apartment drowning his sorrows. At least his friend Jack Daniels was reliable. His need for alcohol was only matched by his need for violence. Once he had his fill, he would head out on patrol. Surely there were some bads that needed thumping? He drank the contents of his glass in one go. He could pretend he was smashing Angel's head in. He smirked at the thought, but quickly deflated. He couldn't even fight a proper fight with Captain Forehead anymore –what with him being human and all. It was hardly fair; Peaches shags his girlfriend, and he couldn't even give him a proper hiding. If he couldn't beat him fair and square what was the point? There was no joy in an uneven fight after all. Instead of refilling his now empty glass he slugged straight from the bottle instead.

It was nearly three the following day when Spike awoke. He had drunk himself into a stupor and never made it out to patrol. Not that it mattered much when there were so many slayers about the place. He decided to bite the bullet and start unpacking the boxes he'd left untouched since coming back the previous night. He was almost done when his cell phone rang.

He checked the caller id quickly before answering. "Hello Rupes."

Giles sounded cranky. "I do wish you wouldn't call me that."

"Well what do you want?" Spike was getting impatient himself.

"I'm making sure you haven't forgotten that you agreed that you would take a few of the girls out on patrol tonight. If I may say, Spike, you haven't been your usual self of late since all that business with Buffy."

Spike ignored his last comment. "That's fine. I'll be there."

"Good – we don't want a repeat of last time when you forgot."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Is that it, then?"

The Watcher coughed. "Just one more moment of your time."

Spike sighed. "Right then – make it quick."

"I'm worried about Buffy. Do you think you two might resolve your differences anytime soon? I don't know what happened between you but-"

The vampire cut across him. "You don't have a clue what went on. It's none of your business." He hit the end call button. He could tell by Giles' words that of course he thought that he was the one to blame not Buffy. In the recent weeks since the news of their break up had come out, he had been regarded with suspicion by their many of acquaintances, no doubt convinced of his culpability in their break up. Of course, it was Spike's fault; he was the monster after all. He hadn't corrected them, only concerned with the opinion of his actual friends. Let them keep their precious Buffy on a pedestal; he had never been good enough to have her anyway. Of course, when the whole story came out, he figured the Scoobies would still rally around their slayer no matter what.

The doorbell rang and Spike made his way to the door. Dawn stood there fiddling nervously with her hands.

She came across the threshold and threw her arms around him. "Hey Spike."

He smiled back at her. "How's the family?"

"The kids are driving me insane as usual."

He laughed. "Glad to hear it."

"How are you?" He knew from the steely glint in her eye that she had found out about him clearing his stuff. "I offered to help you. Why didn't you ask me?"

"I'm a big boy. I wasn't born yesterday."

"Not even last century," she joked.

"How did Buffy take it?" The words were out before he realised he was speaking them aloud.

She shook her head sadly. "How do you think? I think it's hitting what a big mistake she made cheating on you."

Spike felt an irrational twinge of guilt. "I hope you two aren't fighting over me. I was the one she wronged, and I appreciate your loyalty, Bit. But she's your sister."

"We're not, but I have to say I'm worried about you. I've been hearing stories about you being all foolhardy and stupid."

"Me never," he retorted, trying to making light of it. He really wasn't in the mood to talk about this.

She just glared at him. "You're taking stupid risks and eating people's head off for no reason."

He laughed, unable to stop himself. "I've not been eating anybody, pet. I'm on a strict diet these days."

"You know what I mean." She narrowed her eyes. "Stop pretending to be okay when you're clearly not."

He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "Look, Dawn, I need this. I'm not being all suicidal. I've always revelled in the hunt – you know that."

She exhaled noisily. "Just be careful. I don't want to lose you." She hugged herself – looking like a little girl again instead of the woman she had become.

He sought her eyes. "I will I promise. I don't mean to worry you."

She bit her lip nervously. "Okay, I understand."

She threw her arms around him. "I love you even though you're stupid."

"You're an insufferable bint and I've always had a soft spot for those."

She punched his arm hard. He smiled at her. He was wrong. Jack Daniels wasn't his only reliable friend. He knew she was right. This destructive state wasn't doing him any good. He needed to let go of the anger and accept this thing with Buffy was over and move the hell the hell on. But it was bloody hard.

To be continued….

Nothing much happened in this chapter, but I'm setting the scene. I know this story isn't for the faint hearted Spuffy shipper but bear with me. Please drop a note and let me know what you thought if you get the time. I would really appreciate it.