Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own plot. This is an act of love for these characters and world. Maybe an act of love isn't the right word. It is Joss Whedon's fault that I'm enjoying hurting these characters.

Hey everyone. Go me – I'm back with another update. This story has taken over my brain at the moment. Proceed with caution; Angel doth appear in this chapter. Thanks so much to all those reviewing and adding to story alerts and favourites. I've been blown away by the response. Thanks to you all.

Betrayal

Chapter Eleven

Buffy wasn't sure how she managed to play the perfect hostess all the way through their dinner. Knowing that she was about to let her friends know how much of a bitch she actually was made her really nervous. Nonetheless, they managed to get through the main course and when they were comfortably full she dropped her bombshell.

She coughed politely trying to gain their attention. "Guys, the reason why I asked you here is that there is something I need to tell you."

Willow was sitting alongside her silently communicating her support. Buffy was so grateful; she never would have got through this her best friend. She made a note to let Will know how much she loved her later. Xander and Giles looked at her expectantly and a little apprehensively.

She decided it was best to just blurt it out. "I – I'm three months pregnant."

Giles nearly spat out his tea. "Pardon?"

Xander, for his part, almost choked on his food. "Sorry, did you say pregnant? As in you're having a baby?"

She tried for flippant. "Is there any other kind?"

Giles seemed to be lost for words, while Xander had no such problem. "Gee, wow, Buffy. I don't know what to say. How? I mean Spike's undead."

Buffy shifted guiltily, her eyes downcast. "I cheated on him. It's why we broke up."

She could feel the two men's eyes looking at her. Were they judging her? Willow put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She knew she had to get this all out before she chickened out. "That's not the worse part. I slept with Angel and he's the father."

There were joint gasps of surprise from the men.

Giles found his voice at last. "Are you and Angel involved now?"

She tucked her hair behind her ears. She spoke in a small voice. "No, we're not. He wants to be though, but sleeping with him was a mistake and it cost me Spike. I'm not in love with Angel, and this baby in no way changes that."

"Wow!" Xander exclaimed. "I never thought I'd feel for the guy. Hell Buffy! Way to smush a guy's ego."

Buffy flushed. She saw Willow send a withering glance Xander's way. "Buffy knows she messed up. She doesn't need us reminding her of it. She needs our support right now."

Giles stood up and hugged Buffy. "We're here for you, dear. Aren't we Xander?"

"Of course," the young man added. "I didn't mean to sound judgy. I was just surprised." He moved to embrace her also after Giles' let her go. Why had she ever doubted their support? She had the best friends in the world.

Xander and Willow left after dessert, but Giles offered to stay and help her with the washing up. She was glad to have a little time to have a one on one chat with her former watcher.

She spoke in a low voice. "You must be so disappointed in me?"

"I confess I was surprised; nevertheless, your relationship with Spike or Angel is none of my business. I rather think it's only Spike that would be feeling disappointed in you."

She was struck by a fresh sense of shame for her behaviour once more. She was busy feeling sorry for herself when Spike was the one who deserved compassion. "I'm being selfish worrying all about me when I brought this on myself. You should have seen his face, Giles."

"I can imagine. It was a pity you didn't let us know this break up was your own doing, though. I fear I have been a little cool with Spike. It doesn't do to jump to conclusions, especially, when it comes to William the Bloody. I might have to apologise to him. He'll never let me live it down."

He spoke in a joking manner but she felt the sting of his remonstrance just the same. She didn't know what to say. Why didn't Spike say something? He could have told them of what happened. Maybe it was time she grew up and accepted her culpability in this whole affair. She should have known that her friends with their misplaced loyalty would blame him and not her. "You know you don't really know Spike. He's a great guy; I didn't deserve him. I miss him so much."

Giles was looking at her concerned and patted her arm. "I'm worried for you Buffy. Motherhood isn't easy and your situation will only complicate things for you. However, if anybody can do this, you can can. You're the strongest woman I know, but you're going to have a lot challenges ahead of you."

She smiled weakly. "I know- I'm going to have to be grown- up Buffy."

"Do you think a reconciliation with him is possible?"

She shook her head. "He hates me now."

"I doubt that very much. One doesn't just fall out of love."

"True, but from the last conversation we had Spike made it clear it was over."

Buffy had been thinking a lot about their relationship since that disastrous conversation. How much of an idiot she had been to suggest they remain friends? If she loved him she had to let him go. That was what Dawn and the old adage said. It was hard though.

Giles brought her back from her reverie. "Pardon my prying, but what does this mean for you and Angel?"

"Angel's determined to be involved. I want him to be too. I know what it's like to have a single mother and a father who doesn't give a damn. I don't want that for my child."

"Are you happy about this pregnancy?"

She nodded. "Yes – even though I wish it could have been Spike's. I regret the way it came about. I might never get a chance at a family again and I really want this baby."

"Buffy, I hope you don't mind me saying this. Perhaps, it's for the best then that you and Spike are over. I simply can't imagine Angel being willing to let Spike raise a child with you."

This was the exact same thing Spike had said to her. Angel had been difficult in the past about this. Since their last meeting he had been keeping a respectful distance. She hoped that this meant that he had accepted they would never be involved as lovers again. He was waiting for her to make the first move. Maybe for the first time in months she should do the right and mature thing. She was going to have to speak to him and soon. Things between herself and Angel needed to be mended if they were going to raise a child together.

The following evening, after much thought, Buffy dialled Angel's cell phone number. He picked it up almost immediately.

"Buffy," he said quietly.

It was good to hear his voice. "Hello, Angel."

"It's great to hear from you. I hated parting on such bad terms."

"Yeah, me too," she confessed. "I don't want to fight with you and I was probably a little harsh."

"I'm sorry. I was out of line coming like that."

"You were. How have you been?"

"I'm good. I hope you don't mind but I told Connor about the baby. I really want you to meet him. I was thinking of bringing him to meet you."

He sounded very cheerful. She wished she was as carefree. She felt guilty about being excited and she keeping so much to herself as only Willow and Dawn had been her confidantes until she told Giles and Xander.

Angel must have caught her melancholy mood as he asked her, "How are you doing?"

"If I'm honest, I'm not great." She couldn't prevent the bitterness in her tone. "I guess you'll be happy to hear Spike and I are over."

"Oh?" She could tell he was trying to keep his voice level. Of course he was delighted. She rolled her eyes.

She knew she had to impress on him again that this changed nothing. "Angel, I still love him, but he can't forgive me. What we did to him was terrible. I'm not going to jump back into bed with you now he's gone. I'm sorry if I hurt you and I don't want to lead you on."

"I accept that, Buffy. I can do friends. I understand that you're not looking for a replacement and still have feelings for Spike as much as it pains me to admit it. I can't help the way I feel about you though. Things may change in the future, but I won't push you. You've got my word."

He was still holding out hope evidently. At least he was listening to what she was saying. If she was to be with Angel it would mean that she had been living a lie all this time. And what would that make her? No, all these years with Spike were happy and she wasn't waiting around for Angel. She couldn't deny that she still had feelings for him, because if that was the case she never would have slept with him.

There was an uncomfortable silence between them until Angel spoke again. "Okay. I've been thinking about when the baby comes. I want to move nearby."

"Oh!" She had been so busy thinking about the present that she had hardly spared a thought for when the baby was born.

He was stuttering, which was unusual for Angel. "I – I - I don't mean to live together or anything-"

"I understand," she interrupted his babbling.

He mustn't have heard her as he continued. "I missed so much with Connor. I really want to experience it all this time round."

Buffy smiled. "That sounds like a good idea. The baby should have both parents nearby."

It would be awkward with Spike though, but the baby was who should come first now.

"Buffy, we're going to have a baby," she heard him say in an almost giddy tone. She never heard him speak like this before.

"I know," she said, feeling a wonderful swooping feeling in her belly that had nothing to do with the life growing in there. "I'm scared."

To be continued….