It's been a rough few weeks but I think that I'm finally starting to understand the whole picture of what precisely happened in Shoya Ishida's life before I took the driver's seat. It's the little things that really make a difference. The rumours that are spreading around in school, the way everyone looks at me, and how I apparently owe my mother 1,700,000 yen- or about 9,000 Pounds if you want to be specific- for some reason that I have yet to discover. Truth be told 1,700,000 yen isn't an inconsiderable sum of money for my standards, with the rate at which I am mining coin I will easily be able to pay my mother back when the value of the digital currency eventually skyrockets, but I am concerned with what exactly a pre-teen could do to owe someone thousands of pounds.

At any rate paying that much money to someone can't have been easy on my mother. She has a respectable job as the owner and a worker at her own hair salon, she is getting a good amount of money for what she does as far as I can tell, however that does not mean she just has nearly two million yen lying around. Either she took out a loan to pay it off, or she used her own personal savings that probably took a very long time to stockpile. Neither of those options are good either way.

Even if I didn't actually commit whatever this body did I am in possession of this vessel now. Besides it's almost fun for me to aim to achieve a certain threshold of cash, it's just like my old rookie days where I was practically living off scraps and carefully accounting for every single penny that I earned just to make ends meet, you know? The good times.

Plus Miyako is the first real parent that I ever had, she's kind, patient and overall just a really good person, I have a feeling that it'll feel good to repay her after all is said and done. And, it isn't just her that I found as my new family, I have a sister named Aika and a niece name Maria. At first I was surprised that my sister, who was barely even an adult, actually had a baby to begin with but it's obvious to me that she cares deeply for her daughter so her decision- accident?- to have a daughter was probably a good one. Her husband Pedro is a man that's constantly away from his family but just from the single time that I've met him I can tell that he really likes my sister- perhaps even loves her- and it's not as though he's doing what he does to be away from them. He regularly sends money to my sister and tries to visit whenever he can, he has my respect.

Overall I'd say that the Ishida family is a very regular but special family, it's not rich, it's not irregular, but it's close, it's loving and we each have our own lives. It's a lovely family.

But school on the other hand... not so much. The classes are both boring and pathetically easy, but I need to pretend to be stupider than I actually am, afterall if an average student suddenly started to get top grades then that's be more than a little suspicious. I had no intentions of making friends with a bunch of immature brats, but the rumours spreading around and the harassment I face are starting to become irritating. It's ridiculous how children be so gullible, a few idiots spreading a rumour is enough to totally isolate a kid, if I was normal then I'd be depressed. Because, in the social nightmare that is school the amount of social strength that you hold over someone can be a powerful thing, any single person could be completely overlooked if you have a large group supporting you. Though they learned not to get physical with me, that's a lesson that I had to drill into their heads a surprising number of times before they learned that I wasn't going to be their victim physically, the dirty looks I was getting and the taunting words were giving me a massive headache. Still though I did my best to ignore them, these people seek entertainment and want to incite a reaction from me, but I'm not going to give it to them, they'll stop eventually if I strip the process of it's amusement.

Probably anyway.

I skimmed through the room of the boy who's life I probably took over with boredom. I know scarcely a thing about the 'other me' despite actually being him now. It's like who I am is a stranger to me and I've always been curious in nature, so to entertain myself I've been skimming through his- my?- possessions to try and get an idea of what type of person that I was.

Most of it was about what you'd expect from a thirteen-minus year old boy. A few old games, some books that from the looks of things have never been read a single time, a... sign language book?

I was genuinely surprised that whoever I was actually had something like this, so instead of ignoring it I pulled it out of the dresser and inside one of the pages was a black bookmark.

Sign language has never been a thing that I've aimed to learn before, this is simply because... well it's never really crossed my mind. I know English, French, Spanish, German, Mandarin, Korean and I guess Japanese now, but sign never really crossed my mind. Learning another language is an extremely useful skill for any profession, so since I was thirteen I'd try my hand at it, I was pleasantly surprised that learning another language was quite easy for me, I've always had a photographic memory, it's quite a handy thing really, so after I learned French I tried to learn Spanish, then German, then so on and so forth. I stopped eventually but... maybe sign language could be something that I should try to learn.

I placed the book gently on the ground besides me for later use and turned my eye back into 'my' possessions to continue my rummage for other stuff to tell a tale for me. But, as I stared inside of the cupboard my eyes landed on a worn-out and ragged looking notebook. Seriously it looks like someone dumped it in water a few dozen times before crumpling it up into a ball afterwards so that it's eternally shoddy paper. Shoya really should have taken better care of his shit.

Oh, and I just referred to myself in third-person.

Usually I would have simply thrown a notebook that was in such poor condition away, however something inside of me seemed to urge me to just pick up that notepad and see what was inside. Well I have always gone with my instincts.

I grabbed the notebook by it's bottom right corner and noticed that there were words written on the front, the ink was blurred and smudged but I could still see the words:

'Shoko's Communication Book'

For some reason I felt a wave of sadness just from staring at it. But opening it up I was met with several surprising sentences. I flipped the pages that had just a few words at the start and carefully started to read this 'Communication book's' contents.

'Hello my name is Shoko Nishimiya. I hope that we can all be friends.' Huh? Nishimiya? That's the name of the girl who I might have bullied. So her full name is Shoko Nishimiya? But what is this book for?

I flipped the page yet again.

'Please use this book to communicate with me.' Why would someone need to use a book to talk with someo- wait. Don't tell me. Is this girl...

I flipped the next page with a bubble of anxiety in my gut. If my thought are really correct then-

'I can't hear.'

…Oh. Well that's not good.

Apparently I bullied a deaf girl.

I read those words yet again to see if they were correct and let a large sigh leave my lips at the revelation of what I was tied to with this vessel.

I might not be the most social or sympathetic individual, however I draw a very fine line in bullying someone with a disability like this. Unfortunately I now also have an extremely good idea on how I owe my mother so much money, hearing aids are expensive thing that can do wonders for the deaf, they are hard to replace and very costly. Still though, I owe around 9,000 pounds to my mother in UK currency and at least in my country they'd cost just over a thousand per pair. So in order to owe that much money to a person I'd need to break about eight pairs of hearing aids.

Just what did I do to this poor girl?

However, after a few minutes of pondering over the possibilities of what this body did in the past I decided that I had to move on and finish reading the book... and what I saw genuinely made my stomach ache with guilt for some unexplainable reason.

For starters most of the pages were filled with horrible notes that were full of hurtful and malicious comments, suicide baits, mocking her deafness, calling her a freak. It was all there for me to see plain and clearly.

At that moment I took the chance to rip out all of the hurtful comments that were stuck inside of that book, which were in a frightening amount, it took a little while but soon every page left in the ruined book, which was a lot, was clear of hurtful sketches and comments. That felt immensely satisfying for some reason.

Still though, just what should I do with this information? Even if I wasn't the one who committed the act personally this still feels like my responsibility, should I just forget it? Act like it never happened?

No. That doesn't feel right. Whoever this Shoko girl is Shoya clearly hurt her a lot- wow I'm never going to get used to referring to myself in third person- and just ending the story at that just doesn't sit right for some reason.

But what the hell am I meant to do? It's not like I know where they live, and even if I did, showing up out of the blue to apologise like that probably won't result in anything good, I'd just look fake if I did that.

I turned my green eyes onto the sign language book which was lying on the floor, I've never learned a single word in sign language, and I doubt that the kid before this had either. That'll have to change.

Miyako set the dinner table for four people as she hummed to herself, trying to lighten her own mood as her daughter, Aika, cooked some noodles and miso soup. Miyako was in a good mood today because of her son, a few months ago he begun to show very sudden changes in his behaviour, where he was depressed and inactive now, he was... well not positive, but the negativity in his life was sucked out, as well as the massive weight which seemed to be pressing down on his shoulders all the time.

She admits that part of her is conflicted on how to feel about this change, on the one hand, as a mother, she is glad that her son isn't showing signs of depression, but on the other hand she is... well extremely concerned that he can go from feeling guilty and moping around to curious and energetic in just one night. It was a bit jarring in all honesty.

Still though, she thinks that this is a good change for him. He could do with being less down in the dumps.

Miyako finished setting the table for herself, her children, and her infant granddaughter, she then turned to her eldest child and said." I'm going to go and get Shoya." In response she just got a tired grunt in response from her dark haired daughter. Being a mother is a burden that Miyako knows all too well, as someone so young she is doing a good job by simply growing out of her immaturity and being there for her baby. She couldn't be prouder of her Aika if she tried.

Miyako walked up her homes stairs at a leisurely pace and opened the door to her son's room so that she could get him down for dinner." Shoya, it's time to eat."

But after those words left her mouth she took a moment to look around his room and acknowledge how... clean it was, She knows her son inside and out, she can confidently say that he is a very messy person, he hates staying organised and his room is almost always a mess. But looking over his living quarters she could tell that it was all extremely well kept, there was no dirt on the floor, no clothes scattered everywhere, there wasn't even any dust to be seen.

Did her son actually do some spring cleaning? Well now she really has seen it all.

Speaking of her son. She found him lying on his bed with a book in his hands, he appeared to be flexing one of his hands in a very strange way, in fact it almost looked like he was practicing... sign language.

He seemed to noticed her presence and put the book he was reading down instantly as he sat up from his bed in a leisurely manner." Alright thanks for telling me. What are we having for dinner?"

She ignored his poor attempt to avoid the subject of what he was reading and immediately questioned him." Why are you reading a sign language book?"

Miyako was asking him more out of curiosity than anything else, he was once a bully who demeaned a deaf girl, yet he was here trying to learn sign language. What is he doing.

He just spoke." I had a book on it lying around here, figured I'd learn it. I've been learning for a few weeks." He spoke casually, and slightly uncomfortably, but he gave his reason very simply.

She raised her eyebrows at that." Oh really? There a reason that you want to learn it?" Of course she could take a guess, but she wanted to hear it from his mouth.

He seemed to look away slightly at that and just say." There's someone I need to apologise to, it would be... easier for her if I could do sign." He spoke very vaguely but Miyako could take a very educated guess on who he was talking about.

Miyako did internally smile a bit at that though, it was good to see that her son felt remorse for what he did, enough to try and learn a whole different language just to apologise, and that this little change didn't prevent that. It was a good thing to see.

She might be biased because she's his mother, but she doesn't think that Shoya would stop at just apologising to this girl. He made a big mistake all those years ago, but she doesn't think that he didn't learn anything from all of it.

She smiled a little at that." Well how about we have something to eat, your sister cook this time."

He perked up at that and got up from his bed with a leap before walking past her and down their houses stairs. Miyako took a moment to stare at the book her son was apparently reading.

He's definitely trying to face his past, just in his own way. For that she is proud of him. She is proud of both her children.

Sorry that it's been about a week and a half. I had exams and I couldn't afford to focus much on this one when I had other things on my P atreon that took priority, this one has just been a thing on my mind that I wanted to vent off so I probably won't be releasing this one as frequently as the other fics that I have going on. Still though, I'll try and publish often enough though so don't worry about me dropping this one. I'll complete it, eventually.