Eight and a Half

By Imagine Backstory

Chapter Twenty-Three – Flying Pigs & Christening Toilets

Jess

The sun was just beginning to set behind the buildings on Manhattan when I stepped into my apartment, casting the place in a warm, golden glow. Rory filed in behind me, squinting, her blue eyes more sensitive to the harsh light than my brown ones. We were silent for a moment, glancing around the place. I internally counted the things that were different since the last time I was here. I couldn't help but notice a lot of the personality had gone from the place; it made me realize just how much of a home Nora had made this for herself. The artwork was gone from the walls, a lot of the little decorative trinkets and souvenirs had been hers. I was simply left with furniture and books. It was strange to think just how quickly a place can go from ours to mine. It wasn't as satisfying as I'd hoped it would be.

I headed up to the loft, which was neat and tidy for probably the first time ever. Nora's clothes and vanity table were gone, and my clothes were neatly folded on the bed, which had been stripped. She'd bought all the linens, so I assumed she had taken them with her. I made a mental note to add bedsheets to the list of things I'd have to purchase now that Nora had gone.

"Hey, Jess?" Rory called from below. I peered over the edge of the loft to look at her. She was leaning back so as to see me, too. "I think we're gonna have to head to IKEA. Your kitchen is pretty much empty."

I grimaced. "Nora bought most of that stuff."

She disappeared back into the kitchen, which was underneath the loft's overhang. "You still have some food, you're just missing plates and pots and pans and stuff." I heard her moving about, opening and closing cupboard doors. "Huh."

"What is it?"

"All the regular drinking glasses are gone, but all the wine glasses and beer tumblers are still here."

"Huh." My turn to be stumped. I was pretty sure Nora had bought those, too. Maybe she was really serious about getting sober, and leaving them behind had been a definitive step towards that.

As I descended the stairs back into the living area, Rory emerged from the bathroom with a shrug. "Looks like she cleaned the bathroom."

"She cleaned everything." I stopped in the centre of the room, hands on my hips. It was true. The place was spotless-cleaner than it had been in the four and a half years I'd lived here. "It's kinda weird."

Rory came to me and wrapped her arms around my middle, her cheek coming to rest against my neck. I kissed the top of her head and folded my arms around her, too. For a moment we just stood like that, in the middle of my empty apartment, in silence. Then, suddenly, I couldn't bear to be there any longer. "Wanna get some coffee?"

Rory pulled back to look at me, her brow furrowed in confusion. "We still have to bring all your stuff in." By all my stuff she meant the things stuffed in the duffel bag I'd been living out of for three months.

I kissed her gently. "Later." I took her hand and led her to the door. "Let's walk."

I started towards the door, but she pulled back on my hand, stopping me. "Jess," she said in that tone of voice that meant she knew I was trying to avoid emotion. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged, running my free hand through my hair. "I just don't want to be here right now, that's all."

"You live here." Her voice was calm and soft, her eyes sympathetic. She massaged my palm with both her hands, encouraging me to open up.

I moved in and kissed her again, gently, sweetly. "I don't want to talk about it," I said, as gently as I could manage given my growing anxiety. "Can we please just go?"

"Jess..."

I sighed, conceding, knowing she wasn't about to drop this any time soon. "I guess I just... This was never just my space, you know? It was always ours, mine and Nora's. And it's weird to have to think of it so differently, now, now that so much has changed. And I guess... Seeing you here just solidifies that fact, and...I guess, it's kinda scary. In a good way, of course, because it's you, and you're here, and that's great, but...it's scary."

She was smiling, in a way which told me she understand exactly what I meant amongst all the scrabbling for the right words I'd just done. "I'm scared too," she admitted, closing the space between us so as to kiss my chin affectionately. "But we're in this together. And slowly, this will start to feel like home to you again, and things won't be so weird or scary anymore. I promise."

And I believed her.

Rory

Without fail, Stars Hollow always seemed to be the first place to show signs of Spring. Come mid-March the snow was mostly gone, save for some dirty brown bits on the side of the road, and the trees were beginning to sprout little green buds. As I drove by the town square, I could see preparations were underway for some sort of festival. It must have been some new one Taylor had concocted, as I didn't recognize any of the decorations from my youth.

Lorelai had begged me to come home for the weekend to look after Emerson and Paul Anka while she and Luke hammered out some wedding plans. They would be travelling all over the state trying to find a venue, and god knows that's impossible to do with a two year old.

I could hardly believe Emerson was two already. Ugh, birthdays. I'd celebrated my twenty-ninth back in October, completely uneventfully, as I refused to accept that I was nearing thirty with every passing day. Jess' thirtieth was coming up, I realized, as I pulled into my mother's driveway, pulling over onto the grass so Luke's truck would be able to get out. His birthday was at the beginning of April. I had yet to ask him how he felt about it... Something told me he wouldn't appreciate being reminded.

Lorelai came running out of the house as I exited my car, carrying a distraught Emerson on her hip. His curly hair was sticking up every which way and his face was red and screwed up from screaming. Lorelai looked positively dishevelled and she had on only one sock. "Thank god you're here!"

"What happened?" I asked, raising my voice so my mother would hear it over Emerson's shrieking. I held my arms out and Lorelai gratefully passed me the upset child.

"He's mad because Luke turned the TV off," Lorelai breathed, pulling her hair into a ponytail with her now-free hands. "Emerson doesn't like it when we turn the TV off. But Luke doesn't want him to become tech dependent like the rest of us. You know Luke. Old-fashioned and whatnot."

I nodded, bouncing Emerson in an attempt to console him, and for a moment appreciated the fact that my parents were raising a young child. Luke was nearing fifty and my mother, though spry and youthful as always, was beginning to show signs of the wear and tear of parenthood. But there they were, doing their best, as always, to do right by their kids. Me, Emerson, and April-all related somehow to each-other, but with a tangled net of complicated-ness in between. Not to mention Jess, who for a time had been like a son to Luke. And there was Gigi, too, on my side, who I hadn't seen in years, but I heard from my dad on occasion that she was doing well. The Gilmore-Danes-Nardini-Hayden-Mariano clan. Jeez. Talk about a modern family.

"Sorry to leave you with him like this," Lorelai apologized, running her fingers through Emerson's downy-soft hair.

"It's okay, Mom, I got this. You and Luke take off while you can."

I followed Lorelai into the house, where she grabbed her coat and slipped her feet into her Toms. "Luke!" she called.

"Coming!" came his muffled reply from upstairs.

Paul Anka came bounding down the steps to greet me, his tail wagging excitedly. I couldn't pet him with my arms full of toddler, but I didn't spare him a loud, keening greeting. "Hi, Paul Anka!"

"Okay, so, you know where the dog food is. Em will need a nap in about half an hour, but if he keeps on like this feel free to put him down sooner. There's a white noise machine in his room; if you don't turn it on he will not go to sleep, and I mean will not."

I laughed, shooing my mother out the door as Luke came thundering down the stairs. "I got this, mom, you guys have a good time. I hope you find what you need!"

"Bye, kid, and thanks again!" Lorelai called as she headed for the truck.

"Hi, Luke. Bye, Luke," I said as he put on his shoes and grabbed his coat.

"Bye, Rory," he replied, and shut the door behind him.

I was left alone with an excited dog and a wailing toddler. The first order of business was calming the baby down. I carried Emerson upstairs to the bathroom and turned the fan on, pacing and bouncing him until he stopped screaming. I remembered Lorelai talking of doing this with me when I was a baby; something about the noise from the fan and the constant motion was soothing. It worked on Emerson, in any case, and soon after I put him down for his nap. I turned on the white noise machine, kissed him on the forehead, and backed out of the room slowly. He didn't make a sound, which led me to believe he had tuckered himself out with all that yelling and had promptly fallen asleep.

Paul Anka followed me into the kitchen when I came down, his tongue hanging out his mouth happily. I gave him a good pet and glanced around the empty kitchen. Last time I was here, I'd still been with James. It was weird to think that at that time, I'd had no idea I would be here a couple months later with no ring on my finger and Jess' sweet text messages waiting on my cell phone.

I glanced at the clock over the stove. It was barely ten in the morning. I realized I had skipped breakfast, opting to sleep as long as possible and eat when I got here. My shoulders slumped. I highly doubted Lorelai had food in the fridge, and Luke of course had gone with her so the diner was probably in Ceasar's hands, and he just did not make the best pancakes. Although, inexplicably, the mere thought of pancakes made my face twist into a grimace. Okay, no pancakes today. Eggs, maybe?

I sat at the kitchen table with Paul Anka curled at my feet and took out my phone. There was an unread text from Jess.

Kill me now.

I grinned and texted a quick reply back. Hung over?

His reply was almost immediate. Inventory. I forgot about it otherwise I never would have let you go. Not that it was any easier without it.

My smile grew wider. He sure knew how to charm a girl. Another text came soon after. How's SH?

I just put Emerson down, and I think my ears are still ringing from the screaming. But it's good. Quiet, actually. I'm debating what to have for breakfast but I also don't feel super hungry.

Rory Gilmore isn't hungry? Hang on, let me look out the window... Nope, no flying pigs. What gives?!

No idea. Maybe I just need coffee first.

Knowing you, probably. I gotta get back to work. Text me later. x

kk xo

Deciding to take my own advice, I put a pot of coffee on, vowing to take Paul Anka and Emerson for a walk once the kid woke up and to go to Luke's or Weston's for lunch. As I poured the black liquid into a mug, however, I once again found myself resistant to the idea of consuming anything. I wondered, fleetingly, if I were getting sick. Dimitri had had a nasty cold for the past couple of days; no doubt he had spread his germs to me and maybe Jess, too. I made a mental note to ask Jess how he was feeling next time I spoke with him.

Later on, after Emerson's crying had announced his wakefulness, I bundled him up in the stroller, clipped Paul Anka's leash on (while he was distracted, of course), and headed out into the crisp sunlight.

I approached the gazebo, where people were still setting up for whatever festival was coming up. I saw Lane and headed over excitedly. "Lane!"

"Rory, hi!" she exclaimed. "I didn't know you were in town."

"Oh, yeah, I'm just here for the weekend to look after Emerson while mom and Luke check out stuff for the wedding." Lane crouched down to say hi to Emerson, who only stared up at her blankly. "What's going on here?" I asked, referring to the blue and yellow decorations donning the town square.

"The Spring Fling Festival," Lane explained with a roll of her eyes. "Taylor's idea, of course. Apparently Spring is arriving earlier than it ever has in Stars Hollow so Taylor wants to celebrate this historic moment."

"That sounds like Taylor," I said with a laugh. "It's nice to see you, Lane."

"Yeah, you too!"

Lane went to give me a hug, but I stepped back quickly. "Better not give me a hug. I think I'm getting sick. I wasn't hungry for breakfast, and I couldn't even have a cup of coffee this morning."

Lane winced. "Ooh, yeah, you must be sick if you can't even have coffee." I reached up to brush away a piece of hair that had blown into my face. Lane's gaze trained on my hand as I lowered it. "You're not wearing your ring..."

"Oh," I said stupidly, looking down at my indeed bare finger. "Yeah. I thought my mom would have told you. James and I split up."

"Oh no, why?" Lane asked, her brow furrowing with concern.

I sighed. "It's kind of a long story."

Lane nodded in understanding. "Let's go to Luke's. I'm done here anyway."

We made our way to Luke's, which was pretty empty considering most people were outside helping with the festival. Ceasar had the run of things in Luke's absence, as I'd suspected. Still not hungry, I opted for a glass of water instead as Lane ordered herself a sandwich.

I gave Lane the rundown on all that had happened since I'd seen her last. Her eyes grew wider and wider with every piece of information, and she looked especially stunned when I told her Jess and I had been together for about a month now without any hiccups. "Wow," she said when I'd finished, nodding absently. "So, you and Jess...?"

"Me and Jess," I confirmed.

"Again."

"Again."

"Wow." She was silent for a moment longer. "That's, like, super romantic."

I frowned. "It is?"

"Well, think about it! You guys dated when you were teens, then lots of drama happened, and then despite other relationships and stuff you guys still managed to find each-other again later in life? Super romantic! Like, the stuff of Nicholas Sparks novels, romantic."

I smiled at my friend, enjoying the ease of familiarity and girly chitchat. "Aww, Lane. I guess it is kinda romantic."

"You look really happy," Lane said, returning my smile. "Despite the fact that you're sick."

"I actually feel a lot better now," I replied, realizing. "I might get some coffee, after all."

Ceasar brought me a mug as Lane played with Emerson, who was doodling on the napkin I'd placed on his stroller's tray. I glanced out the window as I took my first sip of coffee. As I watched various townsfolk go about their business and saw the ridiculous decorations being put up, I realized just how much Stars Hollow hadn't changed a bit, and how much I had changed in comparison. No wonder Jess had felt trapped here as a teenager. Coming from the big city to this place was quite the culture shock. I still loved Stars Hollow, and would probably always call it my home, but I felt a strange sort of disconnect in that moment that I had never felt before when I came here. I felt a sort of heaviness in my heart as I realized the magnitude of this next chapter of my life with Jess, and that from now on my life wouldn't revolve around this town. Even though I hadn't lived here for years, even when I was living in New Haven with James, I still felt like my soul was in Stars Hollow, that my roots and heritage were here and always would be. But life goes on, and now it was pulling me elsewhere-pulling me to Jess, pulling me to New York, to Manhattan, to SoHo-my heart ached for the change but also swelled at the thought that this was really happening.

And just as all that realization hit me, a big wave of nausea also came over me so fast I gasped. "Rory-?" Lane called, but I had already gotten up from the table and dashed to the back room where the bathroom was.

I'd never been sick at Luke's before, but that morning I christened his bathroom. I heard Emerson start to cry out in the diner as Lane came rushing in after me to see if I was alright. Once I'd stopped heaving I felt significantly better, but for some reason tears trickled down my cheeks from my eyes. Lane held me in her arms as I let out the tears I hadn't realized had been waiting to fall.

Jess

Dimitri gave me a knowing look as I came back out into the bar area of Cafe Livre, shoving my phone back into my jeans pocket. "Everything good?" he asked as he poured someone a beer. The amber liquid bubbled up but didn't quite make it over the brim of the pint glass.

"Rory's sick," I told him as I grabbed the slip for the next drink order and set about preparing it. "The flu or something."

"She okay?" Dimitri asked.

I waved my hand by way of explanation. "Yeah, just miserable. She doesn't handle being sick too well."

"Who does?" Dimitri chuckled. He passed a tray of drinks to Matt, who'd just come up to the bar. He'd come up for the weekend to cover while Rory was away, satisfied that the March lull was sufficient enough reason to leave Chris alone at the Philly Truncheon for a couple days.

Matt himself looked positively overwhelmed, his dreadlocks piled on top of his head and secured with an elastic band. "It's nutso out there, boys," he said, taking the tray and balancing it dutifully on his forearm.

I grinned. "Welcome to Manhattan, brother. Bit busier than good ol' Philly, eh?"

"The Philly branch doesn't have this bar bullshit," Matt retorted pointedly. "How long you plan on keeping this shindig up?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, frowning. "The Cafe is a permanent thing, Matty."

"If you say so, boss." Matt flounced away with the drink tray.

"Why does he seem to be under the impression that the Cafe is temporary?" I asked Dimitri, watching Matt go about the Cafe with dark eyes.

Dimitri shrugged. "Scared of commitment that one. You know the type."

I scoffed, louder than I meant to. Oh, the irony. "Oh, that type I do know. Quite well, actually."

Dimitri gave me a sympathetic clap on the back as he took another tray of drinks to run to a nearby table. Left alone behind the bar, I felt an uneasy feeling like a pit in my stomach. My thoughts turned to Rory, who'd been put on bed rest by Lane after her trip to the diner's bathroom that morning, and I felt shitty for being here, totally useless to her. My first immediate instinct had been to drop everything and go to her. But it was a flu. Just a flu. And I had the Cafe to worry about. "Don't worry about me," she'd said, her voice slightly raspy. But of course I worried. How could I not worry? She was there, and sick, and I was here. What kind of boyfriend was I?

My anxiety was creeping up on me, only made worse by Matt's and Dimitri's comments about commitment, no matter how unrelated they were. I took a shot of whisky in an attempt to calm myself down. I didn't get anxious often, but when I did, it was crippling.

In sickness and in health.

That's what I would have to promise to her one day, right?

I shoved my hand into my jeans pocket, letting my fingers curl, once again, around the tiny velvet box within...

A/N: Yaayyyyy another chapter done! I think I may be on a roll... Please review!