Eight and a Half

By Imagine Backstory

Chapter Twenty-Eight - Weddings & Worries

Jess

God damn, I hated weddings. It just seemed like the silliest thing to spend so much money on. The getting married part I got for the most part, but the wedding part still rendered me clueless. Like, let's spend a bunch of money just to prove that we love each-other enough to get buried in commercialism! Blegh.

I'd been happy when Luke and Lorelai had tied the knot the first time. It had been a tiny ceremony, or so I'd heard-I hadn't been there, of course. Rory and Liz had been the only witnesses. That, to me, made the most sense when getting married besides just straight up eloping. Small, intimate, only your closest friends and family there, and sure, maybe a nice dinner afterwards. But the party? The decorations? The expensive invitations sent via snail mail? Why? It was totally elitist and frivolous.

What I hated more was being forced to be a part of the whole thing. I had to wear a suit and carry Luke's vows for him. I'd even been entrusted with the rings, for crying out loud, since Emerson was far too young to carry them, and Sookie's kids had bad habits of eating anything in sight (including Davey, who was twelve, which seemed just wrong to me). The saving grace was that they were going for a casual-chic vibe, which meant I could wear dark jeans with my black suit jacket. A checked blue dress shirt and white tie later, and I was ready to go.

Luke emerged from the bathroom in his old apartment over the diner, attempting to tie his tie. He was dressed similarly to me, except he had a plain white dress shirt and a blue tie, and a white boutonnière rose pinned to his lapel. His fingers were shaking and I watched him struggle amusedly for a few moments before walking over to him. "Stop, stop, stop," I said, knocking his hands out of the way and tying his tie myself. "You're making a mess of it."

Luke exhaled his relief as I fixed his tie problem at looked at himself in the mirror over my shoulder. He was fidgeting with nervous energy. I rolled my eyes. "Will you calm down?"

"Calm down? I can't calm down!" he exclaimed, his eyes darting all over the apartment. "My palms are already sweating and I haven't even gotten to the wedding site yet."

"I'll bring tissues," I grunted, smoothing his tie down when I'd finished. I patted him on the chest and stepped away, reaching for my pack of cigarettes. "I'm gonna have a smoke, be right back."

Luke's eyes flashed with panic. "You can't leave now; stay, talk to me, please."

"Luke, this cigarette is literally the only thing that's gonna get me through this ceremony. Unless you want me to go down a two-six right now. I mean, I'm happy to do that but I don't think Lorelai would appreciate my vomit on her nice white dress."

"No, don't do that," he muttered, grabbing me by the shoulder and steering me back into the room. "Just, if you have to smoke, just...do it out the window."

I stared at him, figuring my ears must have deceived me. "Excuse me?"

"Just keep the thing out the window, I don't care, just stay here with me, please."

A grin grew on my lips as I squared my shoulders, one eyebrow raised. "So, just so we're clear. I'm going to smoke this cigarette inside your apartment, just because you can't stand the thought of me leaving the room for five minutes."

"Will you shut up and smoke your cancer stick," Luke snapped before disappearing into the bathroom once more to check his appearance in the mirror.

I snickered and sat by the window, forcing it open with effort. It was a bright, crisp June day in Stars Hollow, and I could hear the efforts of the town setting up for the wedding at the gazebo outside. I knew Lorelai, Rory and the other ladies were all getting ready at the Crapshack. Luke and I were up here while TJ and Jackson, who had already gotten dressed, were outside helping out. What a bizarre wedding party. There was Luke and Lorelai as the bride and groom, obviously; Rory and me as maid of honour and best man, respectively; then Sookie and Liz as bridesmaids, Jackson and April as groomsmen. Yes, April was a groomsman. Don't ask me. Luke didn't want TJ as part of the wedding party. I couldn't say I blamed him.

As I smoked out the open window, Luke called out from the bathroom. "This is crazy, you know that?"

"I've been saying that since you guys announced it," I replied lazily. "You guys are already married. What's the point of all the...hullabaloo?"

"Hullabaloo?" Luke repeated quizzically, sticking his head into the doorframe to give me a look.

I shrugged. "That's what it is."

"You could have picked a less stupid word to describe it."

"You could have picked a less stupid way to celebrate your love for Lorelai."

"Okay, smart guy," Luke barked as he came out of the bathroom once more, this time doing up his cufflinks. He straightened himself out and faced me, arms straight by his sides. "How do I look?"

"Like a cardboard cutout of Tom Hardy."

"Ha-ha. Seriously, do I look okay?"

I briefly glanced at Luke's appearance. "You look fine."

"You didn't even look at me."

"Will you relax?" I asked, standing and tossing my cigarette out the window. "You look great. Lorelai is gonna be thrilled, the ceremony is gonna be fine, and after that you can get nice and drunk. Rory and I got Emerson tonight, so you don't need to worry about a thing. Alright?"

Luke narrowed his eyes at me and then sat on the edge of his bed, reaching for his shoes to put on. "You know, I'm gonna remember your smart-ass attitude for when it's your turn."

I cocked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"You know, when you're the one getting hitched," Luke explained as he tied his oxfords. "You're gonna be freaking out and I'll be right here with my feet kicked up making wise remarks at your expense just like you're doin' to me now."

"What makes you think I wanna get married?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Well, I just figured, with you and Rory...and the baby on the way...you know..." Luke trailed off with a shrug.

I didn't know what to say. I thought about that tiny velvet box, which had been sitting in my dresser drawer in Brooklyn for a couple months now. Did I want to get married? I'd mostly gotten it as a just-in-case kind of deal, rather impulsively when I had gone to return the one I'd bought for Nora. It had been sitting under the glass and it was so exquisitely Rory that I hadn't been able to resist, and I'd ended up exchanging rings. Now, however, with everything going on, with Rory's pregnancy and her working at Truncheon and me staying at her place five nights a week, I almost started hyperventilating just thinking about it. It just seemed like too much, too fast. I reached up and loosened my tie, suddenly feeling suffocated in the tiny apartment. "I'm gonna go see how they're doing out there," I said, suddenly just wanting to be anywhere but in that room. I was out the door before Luke could protest.

Rory

The Crapshack was a complete and total disaster. Clothing, make-up, hair accessories, baby toys, and other such paraphernalia littered the floor and every available surface. Lorelai, Sookie, Liz and myself were all in the upstairs bathroom getting ready for the big day. Even though April was a member of Luke's side of the wedding party, we let her hang out with us to spare her the boredom that was bound to come from being with the guys all day, but as it turned out, she'd been demoted to babysitter and was currently downstairs with Doula, the four Belleville kids, and Emerson.

Lorelai was busy doing her own hair and make-up. The rest of us were getting ready, as we'd spent most of the morning eating and drinking and chatting and were now rushing to catch up. Sookie and Liz were carrying on their conversation from earlier about their respective men. I hadn't been able to really get involved; partly because I was the only sober one around here besides the kids, and partly because I didn't have the same sort of stories to share. It was both a relief and kind of sad.

I eased myself out of my chair and reached for my dress, which was hanging from the shower rod with the others. I was nearing the five-month mark of my pregnancy, and my belly was protruding humbly. I wasn't quite waddling yet, but I certainly felt uncomfortable sitting or standing too long. The next four months were bound to be long ones until it came out of me.

He. Until he came out of me.

I hadn't told anyone about the sex. No one knew I knew. I'd wanted to keep it a surprise, but I couldn't stand not knowing something and not being able to plan. At my last ultrasound, I'd asked the technician to tell me the baby's gender. I'd promptly burst into tears, my stupid hormones getting the best of me again. A girl I might have been able to handle, but I didn't know the first thing about boys. Even with my experience, I was still convinced they were all from Mars.

Even so, I'd been dreaming of this baby boy ever since. I imagined him with brown hair, like mine and Lorelai's, maybe kind of curly the way Emerson's was. And then big, gorgeous brown eyes, rimmed with thick dark lashes, set under a surly dark brow...

And then I would remember. The kid wouldn't have brown eyes. He would likely be blond. Blue-eyed, like both his parents.

The thought nearly made me cry every single time.

"Oh, Rory," Sookie cooed, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder blade. "The ceremony hasn't even started yet."

I accepted the tissue she offered me and dabbed at my eyes impatiently. "It's these damn hormones," I choked out pathetically. I sniffled and looked at Sookie through my watery eyes. She was giving me a sympathetic smile so warm it only made me cry harder.

Later on, we rounded up the troops and finally headed out towards town square. We were quite a bunch what with the kids running about, the rest of us in dresses and heels that sunk into every patch of grass, and me lumbering along with my belly.

I'd never seen the square look more beautiful. The gazebo was covered in sheer white fabric, and an eclectic bunch of mismatched chairs decorated the entire space. Most were occupied by townspeople and other guests. I saw my Grandparents chatting with Michel and waved as I trekked by them. The rest of the square was decorated with the honoured couples' casual-chic theme: white, blue gingham and burlap. Lorelai hid inside the school, Sookie went to alert the guests that the ceremony was starting soon, and I went to the diner to get the guys.

As soon as I walked in to Luke's, I felt the feeling of pure panic in the room before I saw it. April was on the phone next to the kitchen, her back to me. Jackson and TJ were seated at one of the tables and scrambled up as soon as I walked in. "Rory!" Jackson exclaimed. "Hey, hey, Rory!"

"What?" I asked suspiciously. "What's going on?"

"Whatcha doin' here, kid?" TJ asked, completely ignoring my question. "Thought the ceremony wasn't supposed to start for, uhh, another, uhh, twenty minutes?"

"Twenty minutes ago," Jackson hissed to his companion.

"Jackson," I pressed, my tone a warning. "What's wrong?"

Jackson opened his mouth to speak, but just then Luke came barreling down from upstairs, his cellphone pressed to his ear. He snapped it shut when he saw me standing there. "Rory!"

"Luke!" I cried, getting exasperated quickly. "What's happening?"

"Have you seen Jess?" Luke asked hurriedly.

I saw the panic in his eyes and I knew he was being serious. "No, I haven't," I said. "I thought he was with you?"

"He was, but he went out to check on the square, and he never came back. That was an hour ago and no one's seen him since, and he left his phone upstairs." Luke peered through the window and saw Sookie directing all the guests to their seats. "Aw, jeez. They're getting ready to start. Great, this is just great. I'm gonna kill him."

April hung up the phone and turned to face the room with a helpless shrug. "He's not at the bookstore. I've called everywhere now."

"Okay, Luke, you need to relax," I snapped, going full Gilmore mode on him. "Jackon, get him some water, or a beer, or something to calm him down. TJ, don't say a word. I'm gonna handle this. I'll be back soon." I turned on my heel and wrenched the door open, the bell going mad as I slammed it behind me.

Damn it, Jess.

I stalked across the square towards Sookie, who was doing a fine job of getting things organized. I pulled her aside to have a covert conversation by the gazebo. "Sookie, I need you to stall for a bit," I whispered, glancing around to make sure no one was nearby.

"Why, what's wrong?" she asked, her eyes wide with confusion.

"Jess is missing," I hissed.

"What?"

"Jess is missing," I said again, impatient. "I have a pretty good idea where he is, but I'm gonna need a few minutes to get him back. Can you stall for a bit, please?"

Sookie appeared dumbfounded, but she nodded. "Sure. Of course."

I wasn't sure if it was the hormones talking again, but as I made my way through the town towards the park, I didn't think I'd ever felt so mad in my whole life. My feet were aching, I was sweating down my back, I was uncomfortable with the big lump in my torso, and I was so totally pissed at Jess for pulling this kind of crap on a day like this. The stupid disappearing acts got old when he was a kid, but he was a thirty-year-old man now, and this was his uncle's wedding, for crying out loud. What the hell?

Sure enough, there he was, sitting in the middle of the stupid bridge. His jeans were rolled up to his knees so he could dangle his feet in the water, and his shoes sat forgotten next to him. He was hunched over, his face in his hands, and I knew he could hear me approaching because I made a lot of noise lately, but he didn't move even as I came to stand a foot away from him. "Jess," I snapped.

He still didn't budge. "What?" he asked, his voice muffled by his hands.

"What?" I repeated incredulously. "What do you mean, what? The ceremony was supposed to start ten minutes ago. What the hell are you doing out here?"

He lowered his hands but he still didn't look at me. In fact, he was looking anywhere but me. He looked at the pond instead. "I don't know," he said with a hopeless shake of his head.

I was suddenly exhausted, and my shoulders slumped forward as I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Jess, this is so not the time for you to get all moody," I said firmly. "Luke needs you. He asked you to be there for him, and you're damn well gonna be there for him. So whatever you're sulking about right now, push it aside for the next two hours and for once think about people other than yourself. Please."

He pushed himself to his feet and grabbed his shoes, brushing past me without so much as a glance in my direction. "Whatever."

My blood sang as I followed him. "We are so talking about this later," I muttered, quickly striding by him and hurrying up the hill ahead of him.

"Can't wait," he called after me in that most irritating sardonic tone of his that I hated so goddamn much.

Sookie was in the midst of telling some elaborate story when Jess and I emerged from the park. I waved madly to get her attention and gestured to Jess as he streaked out from behind me and towards the diner to join the other guys and April. Relieved, Sookie wrapped up her story and hurried towards the school, meeting me outside the front doors. "What happened, where was he?" she asked breathlessly.

I rolled my eyes. "Doesn't matter. He's here, we're ready. Let's do this." The two of us went inside the school to fetch Lorelai.

I found him later on, after dark, after the ceremony, after the dinner, and after everyone had drank enough to start dancing and no longer pay attention to those still seated. He was sitting at one of the tables furthest away from all the activity, his suit jacket nowhere to be seen, his tie loose around his neck, his hair messy from running his hands through it so much. I sat a couple chairs away from him at the otherwise empty table and sighed. We were silent for a moment as I watched the festivities from afar, hating him, in that moment, for ruining this day for me. I decided to tell him as such. "You ruined today," I said quietly, not even able to look at him. "You ruined my mother's wedding day."

"They seem perfectly fine," he murmured, nodding his head once in the direction of the happy couple as they slow danced on the dance floor.

"You ruined it for me," I snapped, finally turning to look at him. He still wouldn't meet my gaze. "For Chrissakes, Jess-we aren't seventeen anymore! You can't just disappear when important stuff is going on. I thought you knew that by now." He didn't say a word, didn't move except for a muscle that twitched in his jaw. My lip trembled but I refused to cry. "Let me guess, you're not gonna tell me what's going on." Still nothing. "How am I supposed to trust that you're going to keep your promise? That when the baby comes, you're gonna stick around? When you can't even be on time for your uncle's wedding? You think standing there at the altar was hard? What's it gonna be like when there's a tiny human screaming for you, and you're exhausted, and the baby smells like poop, but he needs you all the same?" Well, that did it. I totally failed at the not crying thing. I brushed the tears away, frustrated with myself for reacting this way.

He shrugged and made a vague gesture with one hand. "Luke said something to me earlier that made me freak out. I don't wanna talk about it... I just needed to be alone for a bit and I lost track of time."

I was exasperated, but was trying really hard not to be impatient. "That's all well and good, Jess... But why the attitude when I came to find you? You really pissed me off. I was mad the whole ceremony because of you."

"Because you were mad, I guess," he said with another shrug. "I could tell just by the way you approached me that you were gonna go off about how I was acting like a seventeen-year-old again."

"And you didn't want to prove me wrong?" I asked.

"Sometimes it's easier to prove you right," he said pointedly, finally turning his burning chocolate eyes on me. "You'd already made up your mind." I sighed, sitting back in my seat, letting another long pause pass between us. "I'm sorry," he said eventually, glancing at me sidelong. "I didn't wanna ruin your day."

"Yeah, well, don't take all the credit. I was already grumpy," I muttered, shifting in my seat accordingly. "I'm so uncomfortable all the time, and I'm not even as big as I'm gonna get yet."

"You're pretty huge already," he said, a grin slowly growing on his lips. He chuckled softly when I swatted him with a cloth napkin. "So...we're good?"

I sighed again and shook my head with a grin. "You're so infuriating, Jess Mariano."

"I do my best," he replied with a crooked smile. "I am sorry, though. Seriously. Tensions were just...running high today, I guess."

"I'm sorry, too," I said. "For getting so pissed without hearing you out. And...for all that stuff I just said, too. That wasn't fair."

"I'd say it was pretty justified actually," he replied calmly, reaching out to brush my cheek with his forefinger affectionately. "For the record, I'm not going anywhere."

I smiled. "Okay."

He studied my face for a moment and his expression shifted. "Hey...you said he."

"Huh?"

"Just now, while you were ranting at me about the baby...you said he."

"Oh." I was caught off guard and just blinked stupidly. "Well. You know. It was just a generalization."

"Ror...are you having a boy?" he asked, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

I smiled and took his hand in mine, placing it gently onto my belly. "We are having a boy," I reminded him, and laughed before letting him kiss me.

A/N: Couples fight, y'all. The good thing is, most of the time it's over something stupid, and they can make up easily if they're really meant to be together. R&J are going the distance, but that means they have to ride all the ups and downs along the way.

Also, review for Baby Boy Gilmore?! Let me know your ideas on names... I have one in mind but I wanna hear your thoughts. ;)