N/A: Hi everyone! This chapter is a little longer than usual, and written by a very sleepy Bru, so mistakes might be plenty. I'm sorry. I hope you enjoy it, though. It was one of my favorites to write, and it starts setting the pace for our couple of horny beings. Have fun!!
Full Moon – Chapter 13
Edward's cabin was everything I could have dreamed it to be. And everything I didn't expect from a Cullen house.
It was small from the outside. It was a cabin, after all. But it looked somewhat magical.
It is almost winter, in the middle of Alaska. Everything is covered in snow and ice. Snow and ice, under the rare and random sun spots between the trees, looks bright. Not as bright and shiny as Edward leaving the car by my side, but still very fairytale-like. The small cabin was covered in a nice layer of snow, but the driveway and the path to the main door, were really nicely cleaned. Almost melted clean. The cabin was single floor, the windows were big, and with flower beds framing the bottom of it. It looked just out of a book.
Edward guided me towards the main door, and asked for the car keys, which I gave to him no questions asked. He fumbled with the keys for a second, before unlocking his door and opening it for me.
As most cabins, the main room was pretty much open floor. Reminding me of the main Cullen house. The entrance was straight into a living room area, with a really nice couch, a fireplace, a rug that looked very expensive and comfortable, and nice big cushions around. To the left, a small kitchen. Small enough to not take too much space, but big enough to have a 3-stool island, offering a nice eating area. All the kitchen appliances looked brand new and way too fancy for a cabin, but it is a Cullen house, that was expected. To the right, a really pale green piano, and a wall of books, in a lobby area where plants and art decorations made a nice corner for reading, and music. Straight across from the main door, double doors led to a backyard patio. I could see what looked like a hot tub, some patio furniture, and probably what was a great garden that faded into the woods.
And to the back, on the left, by the kitchen, was a hallway. Edward rested his keys on top of the kitchen island, and offered his hand to me, which I grabbed without a second thought, while he led me towards the room. And what a room.
Edward didn't have a room in Forks. Well, he did, but it looked more like a living room, or an office, than a bedroom, since he didn't own a bed. But this room, it had a bed. A four post, with a canopy, white drapes, and a rich dark blue bed sheet bed. Extremely unnecessary for someone that does not sleep, and does not need to rest. But absolutely gorgeous, and very comfortable looking. There was a TV on the wall, some artwork, a small closet, which surprised me more than anything else, because it just looked functional and clean instead of huge and unnecessary, and a bathroom with a really nice big shower.
It was a cabin. A gorgeous, homey, warm, and way bigger looking on the inside, cabin. And it was all Edward's.
"So, what do you think?" He asks, after the quick tour, as we are moving back to the living room, where the fireplace was on, and warming up the whole place.
"Edward, I love it. And I repeat, if you have this amazing place, why have we been hanging out in my dorm room this whole time?" I sit on the couch, smiling at him. I am joking, he knows that, but I am also a bit honest here. I would love to spend all my weekends in this nice living room space, warm by the fire, reading a book while Edward played the piano for me. No, scratch that, I'd love to spend all my days here with that, not only the weekends.
"Well, someone is having her full college experience. I wouldn't want to mess with that." He sits by my side, and we are just chilling in a very comfortable couch, in front of a fireplace, in a magical cabin.
"I don't mind it at all. I've had my dorm and roommates' college experience, I'm over it." I rest my body against his side, my head on his shoulder. "Not that I don't appreciate having my own corner, I love it, but this is another…" My sentence is cut short by a yawn, that I apologize for before finishing it. "This is another level." I nestle against him a bit more, feeling the tiredness reaching me for the first time this morning, after a restless sleep night, enough food for a coma, and the warmth from the fireplace.
"Another level good, or another level 'this is too much, what are you doing?'"
"Really good. It's a home, Edward, and it's lovely."
"With you here by my side, yes, it is a home." He answered, giving me a forehead kiss. I yawn, to tired to tell him how sweet that was. Although I'm sure that he could hear it from my elevated heartbeat. "Come on, love, let's get you to bed for a bit." He said reaching for my legs and my back, and picking me up. I could fight him, tell him I'm able to walk there by myself, but I wanted this experience of him carrying me to bed, in what kind of felt like, in a strangely weird but right way, our home.
I have no idea for how long I slept. And waking up in this amazingly comfortable and warm bed, made me not care at all about the time, or whatever I had planned for the day. All I wanted was to stay in Edward's bed, hopefully with him, which wasn't the case right now.
Judging by the delicious scent of tomato sauce, and the clinking of pans and silverware, Edward was cooking me some lunch. If I'm still dreaming, please don't wake me up, this is too good to be true, and I deserve it, even if it's just in my dreams. In your dreams he would be cooking naked, maybe we should go check that just to be sure. And be disappointed when we see that he is fully clothed? No thanks. But if he is fully clothed, we know for sure this is reality, isn't that even better? True. Kitchen here we go!
I don't want to get up, at all, but Edward was waiting for me, as he for sure knows I'm awake, and I need to get a reality check. I force myself out of the best bed I've ever slept on, and start walking barefoot out of the room.
The scent once I opened the door was even better than I could have imagined. I wasn't hungry yet. I doubt I'll be hungry for the rest of the day after that giant breakfast, but I was still salivating while following the smell and sounds, towards the kitchen. Edward had his back to me, while he was stirring a pot. He was fully clothed, including an apron. It is real, fuck yeah! He's not naked… Damn it!
I must have made some sort of disappointed sound, cause Edward laughed and turned to me, amused.
"You know, I understand we don't have the most traditional relationship out here, but I've always imagined you'd be happy to see me cooking a traditional Italian meal for you, not that you'd be deeply disappointed." He commented while walking towards me to give me a peck. "We can go grab something else from town if you aren't feeling like eating lasagna." He offered, still thinking the problem was his choice of meal, or his lovely act of love, cooking for me.
"No! No! That's not it, I love lasagna, I love you for cooking for me, it smells amazing, it was just…" I cut my sentence before I say too much, and he is starring at me, waiting on what I have to say. I blush before continuing. "Never mind, it's nothing, I'm just not hungry yet, that's all." I don't think he bought it, by the way he's looking at me he knows there was something else, but he doesn't push it.
"It will need at least another 45 minutes before it is done, maybe you'll be hungry by then. And if not, it's easy to warm up later." He is back stirring the pot. "Did you have a nice nap?"
"The best. I'm stealing your bed. I have never laid down in a more comfortable mattress in my life, you need to tell me where you got that so I can get one for myself." I sit down in one of the high stools of the island, to watch him cook and chat.
"I'm sure we can get you another one for your dorm, but it isn't my bed Bella, it is yours. I don't sleep, remember?" He laughs a bit, still focused on his cooking. Him saying that reminded me of what he mentioned in the car, when we arrived earlier.
"I thought it wasn't meant for sleeping. Am I going to have to 'not sleep' on it by myself? I was hoping we could do that together." I only realized how suggestive that sounded when he dropped the ladle in the pot of sauce, making a little metal tap sound. We do know how to go from innocent wholesome conversation, straight into dirty land hm? Hey, he was the one that started it by saying it wasn't for sleeping, I'm just reminding him of that. Sure sure.
He turns off the stove, before turning to face me. I can see in his face that he is trying to figure out what path to take in this conversation. It is a conversation we have tapped into a few times by now, and we did discuss a little bit last night when he seemed very willing to help me out next time I decided to deal with my frustrations. But it is something we didn't really discuss our liberties and limitations, let alone after the cock-blocking this morning. We do need to talk. He takes a few deep breathes, which I've realize he does to keep himself in check around me, before opening his mouth again.
"You're right, it isn't just for you to sleep on it. But can I get a couple minutes to put this together and in the oven, before we have this conversation?" He asks me, leaning his back against the sink besides the stove. I agree with my head, my heart pounding with the impending conversation we were about to have. He takes a few steps towards me, to give me a forehead kiss, before returning his attention to my meal again. I need a human minute.
"I'll use the bathroom for a second while you work on that." I let him know, already getting up and moving towards the room again.
I am anxious. My heart is pounding, and the fact that I know he can hear it, makes it worse. I know what I want, I know how I want to approach this conversation, and I know everything will be okay, no matter if we decide to 100% stop with all the sexual innuendos, comments, and exploration, or if we decide to dive head first into it. What stresses me out, is that I don't know how he will react to my proposition for our next steps, I don't know the extent of his limitations, and I don't want to overstep here. But if you guys don't talk, you will never know any of it, so that is the whole point of this conversation. True.
I take a few deep breaths, a pee break, and take the opportunity the not only wash my hands, but also rinse my mouth with some mouthwash, after the nap. I take not more than 4 minutes in the bathroom, and by the time I return to the kitchen, the same is clean, the lasagna is in the oven, and Edward is pouring me a glass of red wine.
"Thought you'd appreciate some wine with the meal, and why not start now and see if you approve of it?" He said, once he realized I had a quizzing expression on my face. I check the time on my phone, and it's only 10 past noon. I think for a second, realized that yes, I could use some liquid courage to appease my nerves.
"Fuck it, it is happy hour somewhere in the planet right now." I said reaching for the glass in his hand, making him laugh. Before he gave me the glass he gave me a quick kiss, whispering an 'I love you', which I said back, grabbing my cup. "Should we sit in the living room to talk?" I asked, a bit uncomfortable, not knowing exactly how to approach the conversation. He agreed, keeping a hand on my small back, and directing us to his couch.
We sat on opposite sides of the same three-seater, facing each other, my legs crossed on top of the couch, using both of my hands to hold my wine cup. Edward is sitting on top of one of his legs, his other foot planted on the floor. He's barefoot like me, and I realize I have never seen him barefoot without his socks on. I have never seen much of his skin at all, other than when he showed me what he looked like in the sun, so many years ago. Maybe that's where we should start.
"I have something I want to say, before we start this conversation." He said, taking the lead, and I waited on him to speak. "I want to start with I love you. I really do Bella, and you know that. It is because I love you so much, that I am more than willing to have this conversation right now. I'm willing to concede to a lot here tonight, maybe more than either of us were thinking I would any time soon, but I need you to understand that I will need some time to process, analyze, and get myself acquainted with every single step we decide to take in our relationship, that is ahead from where we have been lately. That being said, I don't want you to hold back on anything you want to say, to discuss, to ask for, and to understand. There is nothing you can say or do, that will push me away. I'm not going anywhere. It is just a matter of figuring out what is okay for us to approach, and what I'll need some time to prepare myself mentally for." Well, that answers some of our questions.
"I love you, with every cell in my body, Edward. Every part of me loves you, and every part of my body wants you, as you have realized by now." I know I'm blushing, and he is smiling at me. "I am 100% aware that we aren't going to sit here and have a 30min conversation, and then run to your room and have wild sex till tomorrow morning. I know that is not how we have to approach this, and I'm okay with that, I really am." I take a sip of my wine, a deep breath, and he reaches for one of my hands, to show his support to whatever I have to say in regards to us, and our sexual relationship. "I have been trying to put myself in your place. I know I could never really understand what is it like for you, as a vampire, to be around me, as a human, in a totally innocent setting, like us just sitting here holding hands. I don't know how much you need to hold back on your strength, not to smash my bones, when you hold my hand. I can't pretend I do fully get it, so I won't. But I am aware that is the main issue here for us, when intimacy is the subject."
"Yes, that is the main issue." He said, and the fact he vocalized it, showed that it was a point he really needed to be made.
"But not the only one?" I ask, knowing the answer, but needing him to be open about it all, so we can get through this, and into the fun part. He takes a few seconds, and I know he is also having some issues with the vulnerability of this moment, so I give his hand a squeeze, to let him know I'm always here for him too.
"I guess it is the only issue, just in different forms. I could break you, I could hurt you, I could lose control and bite you. If it is out of the bloom, if you just jump my bones when I'm not prepared, I don't know how much I'd be able to put myself together before losing control." He takes a deep breath before continuing. "I want you, Bella. God you have no idea of how much I want you. This morning it took me every single ounce of my will to not join you in bed, and give you what you were asking for in your sleep. But I need a full guideline of what to do, how much strength to use, and a lot of patience from both of us." I'm glad I'm sitting down, because hearing him say how much he wants me, make me weak to my knees.
"So as long it is a well discussed, and slow paced progression, we should be okay?" I ask, once I can find my voice again.
"Very slow paced. And as long as you are aware that the sex act itself, might have to wait until you aren't as breakable as now, I'm more than happy to work through all the steps with you." I take another sip of my wine, before resting the cup on the center table, and scooting closer to him, holding both of his hands. I take a deep breath, before taking the first step.
"Edward, I think we need a shower." I say, and he is very confused. "I think the first step, is for us to get comfortable around each other's body." He is getting what I mean, and his eyes are now fully black again, hungry. "I don't know how it is for you, but just having your skin touch mine, even just hands, or a cuddle, already sends sparks through my whole body. And I think a lot of it, it's the anticipation of what comes next. I don't think we are getting anywhere in the sex department, before we are comfortable with seeing each other naked, being able to touch skin to skin, knowing that is all that is happening." I wait on him to answer, and he takes a few minutes. He stands up, reaching for my hands so I can get up with him.
"What about a hot tub swim first? Bathing suits first. And then, if we think we are okay for the next step, we take a shower." He offers, and I smile at him. I can do that. I nod with my head. "I need to text Alice though. I don't think we are hanging out with the family today." Oh, I forgot about that.
"She's going to be mad at me." I say, a little sad for treating the Cullens this way, but knowing my relationship with Edward really needs this weekend.
"Bella, I'm pretty sure Alice canceled all weekend plans with the family last night. They still acted like we were getting a Bella and the Cullens day, in case you really wanted to see them at some point, but Alice knew we needed this, and that's why her and Jasper worked so hard to make sure my cabin was done today. So we would have all the privacy we could want. I'm only texting her, because she promised not to look into our future today, and she needs to know if we are all good, or if they need to be here later for plan b." I blush a little, knowing all Cullens are aware of what's happening here. Guess that's something I'll need to get used to.
Edward goes through his phone for a few seconds, before putting it away again. We are still standing by the couch, there's a silence in between us, as we don't know how to approach this.
"Do you want me to leave the lasagna to bake later? Or you think you want to eat first?" He asked, letting go of my hand, and moving towards the kitchen.
"I'm not hungry. We can leave that for later, thank you for cooking." I finally say when I find my voice. I grab my wine glass from the center table and walk towards the kitchen to wash it. "I like the wine too, and I think it will go well with the food." I offer, as a way to make conversation.
"I'm glad to hear. I've never had wine, so I didn't know which one to go for, Esme chose it for you. I think a it came from their wine cellar in the Denali house. She brought some collectibles to decorate here, and wine is always something you see in people's houses." I don't even know where to start processing that information.
"You never had wine? Edward, you're 120 years old, how have you never had wine?"
"I was 17 when I was turned. Granted, laws weren't exactly the way they are today, and dad would let me sip on his drink once in a while, but he was a bourbon guy." He said that with such a matter of fact attitude, I was still trying to process it all.
"And your mom? Not into wine either?" We never really talked about his birth parents, so I was curious. He was getting the lasagna ready to storage while we talked, so I sat again on the island stool.
"My mom didn't drink. Her dad was very strict, in his view women shouldn't be allowed to have alcohol. I don't remember him, or much from my human life to be honest, but I remember her not even wanting to touch alcohol." He finished what he was doing, and reached for my hand. "Do you want to watch a movie? Read? Chat some more? Or do you want to take a dip on the hot tub?" He asked me, trying to gage what I wanted to do.
For me, it was a simple and clear answer. I wanted him. If he wanted to lay down and watch a movie, I would gladly do so. If he wants to play the piano while I read, that would also be great. But he needed me to be the one to take the first step, and I was more than happy about that too.
"Well, I first need a bathing suit. No one warned me I needed to pack one of those, but I'll guess Alice was prepared for that too?"
"Of course she was. Right side of the closet is all yours. Second drawer should have what you need." He said, indicating the bedroom with his head, I sighed, absolutely not amused with Alice buying me even more things, but deep down glad she did think about it. Edward walked with me to the closet, and in a blink of an eye he grabbed something and went to the bathroom, returning in less than ten seconds, as if nothing happened. "All yours. I'll go get the tub warmed up, and get us towels. Take your time." He gave me a kiss on the top of my head, and left. My heart is fluttering.
Alice got me 4 different bathing suits. None of which were my style, but all would serve its purpose today. Two of them were an one piece, gorgeous both of them, but covered a lot more than what I wanted covered right now. All of them are going to cover more than you want, you just want to be naked. Touche.
I put those aside and move to the third one. The top is perfect, but the bottom would demand a full Brazilian wax for me to be comfortable wearing that around, and I'm not doing that right now. The fourth was the charm. A very simple black two-piece, with a decent coverage for the bottom, but also a nice top that would make my boobs look nicer. Alice, you're an angel.
I change into the two piece, and try to look around to find something to cover with, as it is quite cold outside. In the second bathroom cabinet I find thick bath robes, and a couple pairs of bathroom slippers, and once again I'm mentally thanking Alice for being a hundred steps ahead. I check in the mirror to see how I look, and I feel like laughing. I look like a mess. I look exactly like someone that didn't get too much sleep because she was horny, got a nap in that wasn't enough, had some alcohol, and now is about to take a huge step in her physical relationship with her vampire boyfriend. It is just a hot tub swim, more like a hot tub sit, it is not a big deal, don't be dramatic. It is a big deal! It's Edward! Exactly, it's the guy you've been in love with since you were 17, just go!
I put my hair up and take a big breath, before leaving the bathroom. I could have bet that Edward would be waiting for me already inside the tub, but he was actually still in the living room, on his phone, wearing matching robes with me. He looked up from his phone as I walked closer, and stared at me for a bit.
I could feel the energy in the air in between us. Neither of us knew what to do or what to say, but it wasn't awkward. We just both seemed to need a minute to grasp the reality of what we were about to do. It is not just a swim, it's the start of a new, exciting, and also dangerous, journey. It was a big moment.
"I have turned on the tub, still needs a couple minutes before it's warm enough. Alice asked me to tell you good job on choosing the swim suit you chose, and that we should be careful with it, because it's an exclusive, one of a kind, from some brand not even I remember hearing about." My brain is not really processing what he saying right now, so I just agree and walk closer to him. I need to touch him, I need to feel that this is real. And it is. I'm so ready. "She also reminded me that it doesn't matter if it's fall and cold, it is the middle of the day and the sun is out, you need sunscreen." He grabbed the bottle from the table next to him, and offered it to me. So this is how we start it, thank you, Alice.
I grab the cream, and start applying to my arms, quickly realizing I'd have to get out of my robe for that to work. It us now or never, Bella. Now it is. I take a deep breath, under the curious eyes of Edward, and I undo my robe, removing it quickly, so I wouldn't be seen as teasing him much. We need to do this slowly.
His eyes are scanning my whole body, without a single hint of him trying to hide it. I offer him my robe to hold, as I need both my hands to do this correctly, and it isn't until I only have the back left unprotected, that I say anything to him.
"Can I get some help with my back, please?" I ask turning my back towards him. He mumbles something I couldn't comprehend, but I feel him approaching me, so I take it as a yes. He grabs the bottle I'm offering him, and I hear him grabbing some of it, before starting to touch the back of my shoulders.
His hands are cold, as they always are, but I can barely feel it, because his touch is so light I doubt any sunscreen is actually being applied.
"Edward, I need you to apply a little bit more pressure than that. Try using the same strength you use when you hold my waist while kissing me, if you know how strong that it." He needs guidance, and I'm okay with that. He puts a little bit more pressure, but it's still way too little, and we need him to understand I'm not that fragile, so I change directions. "Lay your hand on my back for me please. Just rest your palm on it." He does so, as light as a feather. "Perfect. Now slowly start applying pressure to it, and I'll tell you when to stop." He does so, no questions asked. It's a very slow build up, until he reaches my first level for this interaction. "Stop." He does. "That strength you are using, I would consider light touching. I can feel it, I like it, but it's more of a teasing touch than a regular touch." His other hand joins the first one on my back, both doing light circular touches on my shoulders. I feel him approaching my neck, and every nerve on my body reacts to the kiss he leaves right under my jawline.
"I love you." He whispers in my ears, before moving away again, still keeping the same pressure on my back with his hands. I say it back to him, my knees bending a bit after the extra stimulation to my senses, before continuing with the instructions.
"Start putting more strength to it." Once again, I go through his slow build up, until telling him to stop again. "That would be my normal touch limit. So when you hold my hands, hug me, apply some lotion to my back, or you're just exploring around, that's a very comfortable and pleasurable strength to use." I tell him, when he starts applying more of the sunscreen around, in perfect motions. When his hands reach both sides of my lower back, I reach for them, stopping them there. He isn't moving or breathing at all. We both are holding just below my waistline, it's the first time his hands are in contact with that part of my body, skin to skin, and I love it. I need more. "Now, I need you to hold on to me with not only a bit more strength, but with more purpose too." I tell him, but he doesn't start doing it, so I use me hands on top of his, to show him how.
"Bella…" He says, stretching out my name. He's warning me that it might not be a good idea, but I'm very confident.
"Edward, just trust me that I'll tell you when to stop, and when I do, don't take your hands off. Leave them as I tell you to, please. I will not let you hurt me." I go back to pushing his fingers against my skin, and he complies, even slower on adding up the pressure, than he was before. I wait until he reaches a nice and pleasurable grip, and I tell him to stop again. "Move your hands and fingers around please, I'm perfectly fine, you're not even close to hurting me." I tell him, and he takes a deep breath before doing so. I hold back a moan, when his fingers start massaging me. We are in the middle of a very important boundary setting situation here, brain, not the time to get ideas. I need a deep breath before explaining this boundary to him.
"That is what you'd use for a massage, a make out session, or the base strength you can use around my body when we have sex. " I say, and his fingers completely stop. "Don't stop on my account." I laugh, but he still doesn't move, so I reach for his hands again, but instead of leaving them on my back, I take a step back, against his body, so his hands can reach my stomach. He is fully frozen around me, but as I start trying to move his hands around, he finally gives in and allows me to, keeping the perfect same pressure in every single finger that touches my skin. "You can use this same pressure basically everywhere around my body, and you will not be able to hurt me." I'm directing his hands around my stomach, my waist, ribs, and slowly reaching up. "So, when I ask you to touch me, hold me, to put your hands on me, this is what I mean."
I take a deep breath, my cheeks getting a bit red when I think about the next thing I want to tell him, and that I want him to do. But I push that back, because right now Edward needs me to be the strong and confident one, that is very sure of the next step.
"I am going to move our hands to my breasts next. I want you to touch them, on top of the bathing suit, just as you are touching my ribs right now. You can say no to it if you don't want to. I'm not going to be disappointed with you, I'm not going to be sad, you're not going to hurt my feelings. But that is what I want you to do if you feel comfortable doing so." I tell him, still not moving our hands up, I need him to be okay with it, it is only boobs, but it is the furthest step we have ever taken in our physical relationship so far, and I don't want to step on his boundaries and scare him away.
My heart is racing a bit, with anticipation. We still haven't moved our hands, we are very still, but our bodies are so close together, I can feel his chest raising with his deep breaths. He lays his head on my shoulder, pushing himself back a little bit to be able to do that, and he nods his head, letting me know we are ready for the next step. So I take charge of it, and I move all of our 4 hands to cover my boobs.
I knew this would be a big deal, even with some clothing in between us. My nipples are quite sensitive to temperature changes, and the cold has always been pleasurable. But even with that aside, Edward Cullen is touching my freaking boobs. He is absolutely still for a moment, not sure of what to do. But when my nipples harden under his hands, and I can't hold back a low moan, I hear his deep breaths by my neck, and his fingers start moving around.
I can't hold back the panting and low moaning anymore. I've been waiting for this for way too long, and I'm only human, after all. Edward still has his face pressed against my neck, which is I believe his way of reminding himself that I'm still a breakable fragile human, and that he can't lose control right now. But he starts giving small kisses to my neck, as his fingers are getting more comfortable taking charge of my boobs. He enjoys it as much as I do, and that realization, and the fact he just very lightly and carefully pinched my nipples, makes me moan louder, and drench my bikini bottom. He can smell that, because as soon as it happens, I hear a groan coming from him, and instead of his head pressed against my neck, he is pulling me against his whole body, and I feel every inch of how much he is enjoying this. We are ready for the next level.
"Edward." I try saying on a normal voice, but it just bluntly sounds like I'm moaning his name, and he really enjoys that. "I need you to add more pressure to that." I tell him, and he stops completely with his movements. He is scared, I can feel it. "This, right now, it's perfect for most of our interactions. But sometimes I will need it stronger and harder, and we need to figure out what that is for us, so it isn't a full gamble later." I'm trying to be cohesive, but my brain isn't really the most focused it has ever been.
"Bella, I'm not sure I can hold myself back much more than this." He says, and I can hear in his voice that he is trying very hard.
"We can stop here if you want to." I say, trying not to sound disappointed, but desperately needing him to say he wants to continue. His head is back on my shoulder, and he is taking very long deep breaths, getting himself back into a more stable mental state.
"I don't ever want to stop. But I need you to be clear of your limits. Do not let me go beyond it because it is still pleasurable. Do you understand?" He says, and I'm so excited I do a little excited jump, which makes my boobs bounce on his hands, at the same time my butt is rubbing his hard cock behind me. We both feel the response to that one jump I took, at the same time, and we both moan again. And Edward moaning, is the hottest thing I ever heard. Before I can just react and keep doing it, Edward has moved a few steps away from me. No parts of our bodies are touching each other, and I miss his hands on my body as much as I miss the air I breathe. Fuck, there we go again, I need him to touch me at all times or I'll go insane. I wait for him to come closer again, and start exploring my torso once more. He kept the same exact pressure he was using before, and I mentally thank his vampire brain, that is hyper aware of not only the environment, but also of his own body. His hands are starting to move towards my boobs, for the first time without my guidance, and that is hot as fuck.
"I'll let you know when you are reaching the limit, so you can stop before it, and still have some leeway." It is very hard to keep a straight thought, but I try my best. He starts adding more strength and nicer movements to his grip, and any rational thought leaves my mind. I need to work really hard to pay attention to when I need to stop him, even when I really don't want to.
I'm definitely losing focus of what I'm supposed to do here. Edward is full on massaging my boobs and giving a lot of attention to my very needy nipples right now, and he is doing an amazing job. My knees are getting weak, and I'm cursing Alice for this idea, because I'm wearing bikini bottoms, that don't hold liquid very well. I know he can smell how he is making me feel right now, because my thighs are humid at this point. I need at least one of his hands to reach lower, but I know he won't until he knows he isn't hurting me. So, it is with great sadness that I tell him to stop, once his hands are starting to get too heavy for normal human touch.
I'm panting really hard, my heart is racing, my blood is pumping fast and strong. Edward's hands slowly move from my body to his sides, and after a few seconds catching my breath, I finally turn around to look at him. His eyes are as dark as the night, his chest is heavily moving with rapid unnecessary breaths, and both his hands are safely tucked behind his back, as if he's scared of touching me again. But I can see in his face that he really wants to, and that is enough for me to understand he doesn't regret this interaction.
Every cell in my body is demanding I kiss him, touch him, that we get back to what we were doing. But my brain knows I've gotten away with enough today, and I should just be grateful and give him some space. I really don't want to be the voice of reason, but it's the deal we've made. I'm not breaking his trust.
We're in a very comfortable silence, just looking at each other and regulating our breathing, when I feel the need to change my weight from one leg to another, and that reminds me of my situation between my legs. I try to hold back the moan that comes from the pressure my position shift put in between my legs, but I'm not entirely successful. Edward head game low and he closes his eyes, taking deep breaths, getting his control back. When he speaks next, there's still a hint of his own excitement in his voice.
"The hot tub should be hot enough by now." God, the got tub, do we even need that now? We haven't seen him without the bath robe at all, yes, we need it. True.
"You should go ahead, I'll… clean up before joining you." I blush saying so, already turning my back to him again, but he reaches for my arm to hold me back, I turn to look at him. He looks like he's fighting to find the right words to use.
"Please, Bella, can you… not?" Wait, what??? "I don't want you to…clean-up." He would 100% be blushing right now, if he could. He takes a few more seconds before finishing his thought. "I know you might be uncomfortable with the idea of getting in the tub like this, and if that's the case you're free to shower or whatever beforehand. But being around your… scent… really helps with getting used to the extra stimulus in my senses." Oh. He is taking the next step into our slow steps, with getting used to me being horny, so he isn't too overwhelmed. I don't know how to answer to that. I'm definitely not going to shower, I'll do whatever it takes for us to get to the next steps. So I go for a parallel comment instead.
"Well, get your robe off then, and let's get in the water. Being wet and out here is making me very cold." He groaned, when I mentioned being wet, making me smile. "Last one on the water showers last." I say starting to run outside.
Bad idea, Bella.