Colby took a deep breath hoping that it'd make him feel better but instead it gave him time for his brain to process every case scenario possible for that call, he only emphasized the worst though.

He left his room making the door bang behind him and rushed upstairs to the room 812 not even bothering using the elevator. When he reached the room he froze for a couple seconds in front of the wooden door, breathing heavily. For a brief moment his mind was completely empty but soon his emotions took over him, his whole body was shaking.

He knocked on the door violently, he felt like crying for the rage he felt would turn into tears but Joe opened the door before that could happen. He entered his hotel room abruptly. "How could you!?" He asked through clenched teeth. Colby didn't look at Joe's face he immediately made his way to the long curtains covering the window. Joe was as confused as can be, he didn't have a clue of what was going on or why his boyfriend was flipping out. "Where's that fucker!?" He yelled. Joe's eyes widened in disbelief, he was shocked and concerned. He closed the door rapidly trying to think of something to make the other stay calm.

"I- I don't-" Joe tried to say but was interrupted by the furious man in front of him. He finally understood why Colby was so mad.

"Is he in there?" Colby yelled again pointing at the bathroom, but Joe had no time to answer "That's why you were taking so long…" He was mumbling now, not screaming anymore. Joe had an unreadable expression in his face, hands hanging on the sides of his body, lips pressed into a thin line and eyes on Colby, but his body motionless. "I called you, I called, but you didn't answer. I've done some serious shit in my life but I don't think I deserve this from you" He muttered a few more things about trust before he got to the bathroom but before he could reach the doorknob Joe spoke.

"I lost my phone today" Joe said firmly, his voice didn't tremble once. He was looking at the exposed window. Colby closed his eyes and sighed, he lifted his hands to cover his face. He felt so stupid, relieved, but stupid. "That's why I was taking so long, I was looking for it"

"I'm so sorry. I thought that-" The brown eyed man apologized, still hating his own guts

"That I was cheating on you!?" Joe's voice was louder when he interrupted the other "You don't trust me. I mean, you don't even trust yourself how can you possibly trust others, right!?" Colby took two steps and stopped right in front of Joe whose eyes followed him "Have you ever wondered why none of your relationships have worked so far, huh?" Colby looked down at his feet as those words were spoken, he didn't have a response for that.

"I'm just jealous because I care about you, a lot. Leati, I love you, never doubt that!" He struggled to say, he felt like his heart was being tightened so hart that it was impossible for it to pump the blood to his whole body.

"I know you do, but that is not enough… Colby that was not jealousy, those were your trust issues taking control over you! I would never in a million years do anything to hurt you. Ever. And I am sorry that you think of me as a… Cheater!?" He couldn't believe Colby actually thought he was being cheated on.

"No, I don't think-" He sighed. He could feel his heart beating nervously against his chest. "Leati, I'm sorry, okay? I just can't stand the idea of losing you!" He had his eyes wide opened and a small frown. Joe's eyes were turning red and glassy

Joe looked down. He narrowed his eyes and a tear fell brushing his cheek and kissing his upper lip "Well, you just did."

Colby took a step back as he heard those words coming from his lover's mouth, it was like he had been stabbed in the chest with a dagger. He finally felt what is like to have his heart broken for real. He wanted to cry, but his pride wouldn't let the tears fall in that moment. Colby felt Joe glaring at him, tears streamed down his face, Colby couldn't watch those gray eyes full of tears.

"Get out, please." Joe requested looking to the floor and pointing at the door "You actually made me doubt every decision I made about you" His voice was weak, like he didn't believe his own words. Colby couldn't believe those words either, he felt lost and empty when he heard that. He paced out the room hoping to God it was a nightmare. Nightmare. That word never sounded better. The door closed behind him. The way to his room seemed like it was never going to end.

1 am

He took his card key out of the pocket of the hoodie he had on that night and opened the door. The hotel room was dark, lights from outside the window weren't enough to light it up. He slammed the door shut with a swing of his arm and stopped there for a second, in front of the wooden dark door and like he'd just realized what had happened, he burst himself into tears. He tried to make himself stop crying: he took several deep trembling breaths, he jumped in place, he wiped his tears, but nothing worked. Colby was pacing back and forward with his hands on the back of his head, he was trying to figure out what to do next. This is a dream. A very shitty dream. He thought and ran to the bed throwing himself onto it burying his wet face in the pillow.

Pain. He could feel the emotional pain that was consuming him on the outside of his body. It had turned into physical pain. He was sobbing. Empty inside. Lost.

2 am

The tears had dried and Joe was lying on the bed, covering his face with both his hands. He got up, he was extremely tired but couldn't sleep either so what was the point of being in bed? He walked toward the balcony where he sat on the wooden bench which had some throw pillows on it.

The sky was this red color, almost brown, due to the clouds that were hiding the dark night. It was definitely going to rain the next day. The fight played over and over in Joe's mind 'til he realized he was single. He bit his lower lip hard as he felt his eyes filling with tears again.

3 am

He felt like his heart had shrunk to the size of an olive, he couldn't see himself without Joe, which was ironic, because when he was single he used to say that he loved to be alone. Colby looked at his pillow, there was a grayish spot from his tears, he had been crying since he got to his room so he decided to stop – like it's that easy – he lied on his back facing the ceiling. What am I going to do without you? He thought. Sleep. Sleep sounds good. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, but he was struggling to breathe for it felt like he had a ton of iron right on his chest "Shit." Mumbled Colby opening his glassy eyes. He grabbed his cellphone to check the time, but it wasn't even near the time for breakfast. He would at least have an excuse for being awake at 7 am on his day off. With the phone on his hands, the thought of calling Joe crossed his mind a couple times, but Joe was probably asleep by then and he didn't want to bother him and Joe probably didn't want to hear his voice.

4 am

I should call him…I have the hotel's phone. Joe thought for a brief moment, but he didn't exactly want to talk to Colby after what he did, how could he? Why don't you trust me? What have I ever done to you to make you not trust me? These questions were invading his brain. He searched for an answer, but he couldn't find it. Colby had no reason to believe that Joe was cheating on him.

It was summer, but the night was cloudy and cold so Joe went inside. He sat down on the bed looking down at his fingers and wondering what movie they would've watched if it wasn't for the fight. Gosh, he hated Colby for ruining such calm night. Damn! I have to go get my phone, at least I know where it is now… He thought, but his mind went back to Colby.

He let himself fall back. His back met the mattress. Joe felt Colby's soft touch on his skin, the taste of his mouth on his lips, his warm breath on his neck, the look he made when he was turned on or the one he made when the alarm clock woke him up in the middle of a dream… He already missed those things, his mind was playing him. He tried to shake those thoughts off of his head. How he wished Colby was there and everything was okay… Damn you!

5 am

'You actually made me doubt every decision I made about you' He heard Joe's voice say. Colby wasn't prepared to listen to that. His heart hammered inside his chest, those words kept playing and playing on his mind. He shed a tear. He needed to think of anything else so he turned the TV on, but turned it off right away, he saw something that reminded him of Joe. Everything reminded him of Joe, and the mess he'd done. He sat up straight on the bed, his legs hanging on the edge. The brown-eyed man looked in the mirror hanged on the wall on his left I look like crap He thought. I am crap… He raised his right hand to brush the tears falling along the bridge of his nose and on the top of his cheek bellow his left eye. He got up on his feet and stepped toward the balcony with his hands shoved into the pockets of his light gray hoodie. He stared outside for a little bit wondering if it was cold out there or if it was going to rain struggling to keep his mind off Joe. He finally decided to walk outside and sit on the wooden bench to wait for the sunrise.

6 am

Joe couldn't sleep, but being awake was killing him. Once more, he got up. He paced back and forward, again and again and again. That fight was all he could think about. Enough. He thought punching the wall in front of him. He looked at the door on his right. What the hell would I do outside!? He asked himself, then looked at his watch and then to his left where the balcony was. Joe pulled the sheet out of the bed and wrapped it around him and went outside to watch the sun rise on that cloudy sky, sitting on the same old bench. The only thing in that night that felt right.

7 am

Colby was hungry, but he didn't want to run into Joe at breakfast so he decided to wait more half an hour. He was being an actual child, but he just didn't want to face him… What would it be like? They always had breakfast together – well, most of the times – What would he say if he saw him? He was definitely not ready to be ignored.

8 am

I hope I don't see him at breakfast Thought Joe changing his dark blue t-shirt to a dark gray one. He put his hair on a bun looking in the mirror in front of the bed. He grabbed his card key and left the room heading the hotel restaurant.

"I hate not being with you. I never realized just how much I need you in my life."