A month passed by more slowly than James ever thought possible but when it did pass he was more than ready to get back into the action. He wouldn't admit it, but he had missed being on the ship with everyone else.

When the crew hadn't been on shore leave on the Citadel, the crew members had talked to him using their omni-tools or sent him pictures from wherever they were in the galaxy. He could recall all of them with clarity since he had looked over them so many times.

Shepard and Grunt yelling at each other, a thresher maw and a couple of varren lying dead between them with Tuchanka as the backdrop and Wrex in the corner looking on in amusement.

Garrus and Shepard laughing together while sitting in the lounge, a pile of cards on the table between them.

Liara and Javik silently sizing each other up, the look of disappointment and anger apparent on the asari's face.

Shepard sitting at a table alone looking at a cup she held in one hand, deep in thought and her face somber.

Shepard red faced and storming out of the comms room in the Normandy leaving a wake of scared soldiers behind her.

Shepard working on her model ships with the seriousness and concentration she used in battles.

Shepard with one arm around Garrus and another around Grunt smiling widely at the person taking the picture, a giant reaper in the background and a disgruntled krogan looking on at them with a strange expression on his face.

Shepard sitting back in a chair with a datapad in one hand and a hand up to her face pinching the bridge of her nose.

Shepard leaning towards-

"All ready to go?" a voice interrupted his thoughts as he stood there in the empty room looking around to see if he had gotten all his belongings, which didn't amount to much in the first place. A pistol, spare clothes, and his damaged armor which he had requested to take back with him much to the chagrin of the nurses.

"Yeah." he turned to face Shepard who had come into the room. She had finished what business she had on the Citadel and had told James to wait for her so that they could go back to the Normandy together.

"Been a while right?" Shepard grinned at him as they both walked out of his room and towards the elevator. She nodded to Thane who nodded back looking at her with his huge black eyes and sat in a chair overlooking the view from the hospital.

Not really, James thought to himself thinking of the omni-tool pictures he had received,"Yeah." he said anyway and selected to go to the Normandy docking bay. It had been a while since talking to her though, she hadn't checked in as often as the other crew members had because of her responsibilities but it didn't feel like a month had passed since he'd seen her.

"What's been going on these days?" James cleared his throat and asked. It was just the two of them inside the elevator and a little...unnerving to just be there with her in silence.

"Nothing new." Shepard shrugged as she crossed her arms and leaned against the wall looking at him,"Noncommittal council, feuding alien species, reaper war." she laughed,"Babysitting crew members." she thought of them fondly,"Ready to get back into action lieutenant?" she looked at him.

The doors to the elevator opened and they both stepped out at the same time.

"Can't wait to get to it commander." James replied with a grin as they made their way to the ship.

"Good." Shepard grinned and palmed the doors open,"Also, when you have time, come up to my cabin." she didn't say anything else as they entered the ship. Everyone was there to greet him enthusiastically, except for Liara, who had other business to attend to on the citadel and would be coming by to greet him later.

James watched Shepard quietly slip away before he could say another word. The crowd of people gathering around him grew and he was unable to ask her what she wanted when people started to ask him questions and crack jokes about him 'embracing' the commander as it were. He even received gifts from them. A faster shield generator from Tali and Garrus, a mod from Cortez (the same one that James couldn't fix, but the shuttle pilot had somehow gotten it to work), a bottle of tequila from Kaidan, an SMG and headbutt from Grunt, and even an apology and clean memory shard from Javik.

The hours rolled by with James eventually settling back into the shuttle bay with his arm full of the miscellaneous gifts he'd received from the crew. Liara had come by a few moments ago and had given him a hydra missile launcher (oh the irony) and a tech bomb in the form of a silver dog tag but a tad bit thicker and slightly longer, engraved with his I.D number and the ship name, SSV Normandy SR-2.

She explained that if he pressed his thumb on the back of the dog tag, it would read his print and immediately activate a jamming signal that prevented enemies from reading his position and disable all tech within a two mile radius. When James asked how and where she got something so powerful, the asari merely replied with a bright smile but didn't say anything in response as she walked away excusing herself.

He reminded himself not to get on the bad side of the asari as he threaded the bomb on next to his original Alliance issued dogtags around his neck. The shuttle bay was silent as he sat down on his cot and then making up his mind, he grabbed his bag and unzipped it to unpack.

The piece of armor he brought out was rough and charred. He could still smell the blood and smoke from it as he set it aside on the floor. When James had first laid eyes on his armor he had gotten a bit of a shock and did nothing but stare. By all accounts, he should have died. Was this close to what Shepard felt like when they brought her back to life?

He laid his armor out on the ground in a way that formed a human being. Charred, melted, sharp fragments clawing outwards where he had been hit. It looked like a shell of a man with a hole blasted through him.

"All good there Mr. Vega?" the elevator opened with a hiss and Cortez walked in holding a plate of food from the mess hall. He looked at James a little tentatively.

James cleared his throat and forced himself to look away,"Uh yeah. All good here Esteban." he stood up,"Is the commander in the mess?" he asked thinking about her request to visit her in her private quarters as he walked towards the elevator.

"I think the commander is in her cabin." Cortez replied as he sat down next to the shuttle with his omni-tool flaring bright orange as he turned it on and what seemed to be a data pack.

"Alright, thanks." James gave him a nod and then pressed the button for the captain's cabin as he stepped inside the elevator. He wondered what Shepard wanted to talk about that it had to be in her private cabin.

The elevator shifted and came to a stop a few moments later, the doors hissed open and James stepped out a little hesitantly. The only other time he'd been to Shepard's cabin was when he talked to her about joining the N7 program and even then it was a little unsettling...more awkward than anything actually.

He paused in front of the doors and then cleared his throat,"Um...uh, commander?" his voice came out a little choked and he cursed himself for sounding so tense for no reason at all,"You wanted to see me?" he knocked on the doors. Should he go in? Should he wait to be called in?

There was a pause and then,"Come in lieutenant." she sounded more tired than he'd ever heard her sound.

He straightened up and palmed the doors waiting for them to open before stepping inside. She was sitting at her desk with her back to him and working on a model ship, when he took a closer look it was a geth dreadnought. Her desk was a chaotic mess. Datapads leaning precariously against a pile of gun mods and SMG parts, part of her hardsuit was still lying next to her waiting to be fixed from a bullet hole that almost put her out of commission, model ship parts scattered around her, a chessboard abandoned on the side, and thermal clips thrown about.

"You um, wanted to see me?" he asked a little nervously. She wasn't really one to invite people up to her private cabin unless it was someone that she was in a relationship with or unless it was important.

"Yeah, hey." she set down the ship she was working on and stood up from her chair rubbing the back of her neck. She gestured towards the black sofa near her bed and they both sat across from each other.

Sighing, she gave him a little smile,"How've you been settling in?" she leaned back into the seat she occupied, her black hair was down and in a wavy mess and not in the usual tight bun she pinned it up in.

James shrugged,"I could do without all the jokes about me...you know." he turned a little uncomfortable,"But other than that, it feels damn good to be back." he flashed her a grin," I have a lot of catching up to do though." he said thinking about how small he had gotten. He would have to focus on training his body to get back into shape.

Shepard grinned,"You think you've got it bad liuetenant?" she leaned forward,"Traynor and Chambers are always asking me how it felt to be in your amazing arms." she rolled her eyes but grinned,"I've also got Liara on my case too."

"I didn't know I was that popular." James laughed,"I always thought that they've had a thing for the turian onboard, you know, with his voice and all." he wouldn't admit it, but Garrus's voice was interesting, all the tones and pitches and tenors.

"Sure." she shrugged,"But I guess arms and shoulders win hands down." her eyes sparkled in amusement.

"Guess I don't have anything to say to that." James replied lightly,"So did you call me up here to try to get me into your bed or what Lola?" he waggled his eyebrows at her eliciting a loud laugh.

"I called you here to talk to you." Shepard's face finally turned serious and a little dark. A sense of apprehension started to creep into James as he waited for his commander to say whatever it was that she wanted to say.

There was silence.

Suddenly Shepard sighed heavily and put her face into her hands,"I don't even know where to begin..." she muttered to herself rubbing her temples and frowning.

James held still and it seemed like all the breath in his lungs had frozen. Was she really going to kick him off the ship? Or was she going to assign him some menial task like cleaning out the sanitation tanks and never allow him to go on a ground mission again?

"First..." Shepard looked up looking a little shy,"Thanks for taking the rocket for me." her face was red but her words were clear and genuine,"I uh-"

"Come on Lola." James interrupted her mid-sentence,"You know that's not necessary." he raised an eyebrow at her when she cast him a scowl,"You've saved my ass more times than I can count."

Shepard laughed after a little pause,"Guess it makes us even then." and then she stopped and looked at him,"Just don't do that again okay lieutenant?" the atmosphere was tense for a split second as she locked eyes with him. Neither of them willing to give in.

"Got it Lola." James finally said and stood up, he was guessing that this was what she had wanted to talk to him about. Short, sweet, and straight to the point. Just like her.

"Oh and don't forget to take this with you." she said and tossed a black duffle bag that had been lying next to her on the couch at him before he could leave,"Welcome back lieutenant." she flashed him a smile and pushed him out of her room.

James stood outside the room still clutching the bag. It had been heavier than he had been expecting and he still felt a little winded. Shepard had a good arm.

Curiously he looked at the bag still in his arms. Whatever was in there, it was large, bulky, and hard. He unzipped it with a free hand and peered inside of it. Black hard pieces of...hard armor? He stuck a hand in and dug out a chest piece, it was matte black, thick and hard but the way it flexed in his hands told him how easy it would be to move around in this. As a veteran soldier, even he could tell that the hardsuit he received from Shepard was top notch and the most expensive of its kind. There were multiple slots for ammo, there were implants and VIs to moderate his shields and maintain his health should there be an injury.

James dug around more and felt something soft brush against his fingers and he pulled it out. An undersuit. Black, soft, and durable. There were multiple hooks stitched into it for his weapons and buckles to keep the hardsuit in place. It was thick but breathable and equipped with nanotechnology to repair itself if there happened to be a tear. He even noticed that it had been equipped with a basic VI for maintenance.

A strange feeling came over him as he shoved everything back into the duffle bag and hit the elevator button. He didn't know much about the prices on equipment he knew he couldn't afford, but this stuff was top notch and was one of the best ever made. He didn't even want to guess at how many credits all of this had cost her.

The doors opened with the usual hiss and he stepped inside pressing the button for the shuttle bay. This was way above what he had earned. But how could he give the gifts back? There was no way. James stepped out of the elevator when it reached his floor and made his way towards his cot clutching the bag in one hand and with a nod to Esteban, he shoved the bag under the cot and lie down on it with a silent sigh.

He had done nothing to deserve all these gifts. Was it pity? He shook his head, no, they had been scared. Scared of losing another member and this was just their way of expressing their relief. He understood the feeling well, but the gifts that Lola had given him were too much.

His eyes roamed the grey shadowy ceiling of the shuttle bay absently. It almost felt like she was undermining him as a soldier. But he knew that Lola-the commander wouldn't do something like that. She wasn't that kind of person. But still, this...gift that she'd given him.

James squeezed his eyes shut and sighed loudly while turning to his side. He was grateful, more than words could describe. The distant sounds of lights turning off for the night cycle reached his ears and he let himself relax into the thin material he was laying on top of. Better to get some sleep rather than think about everything, he reasoned with himself as he let himself relax.

And then all of the sudden he thought about that night where he and the commander had kissed.

"Ugh." James tried to bury his head into his pillow hoping that the memory would go away. He hated how memories like that just came and went without warning.

There was nothing going on right? The lieutenant's eyes opened and stared aimlessly at the wall of cargo boxes in front of him. There was no way something was going on between him and Lola...There were rumors of her being with the Drell...or was it Scars she was with? Hell...he never really paid attention to any of that until now.. .

"I don't know...who the hell cares." James mumbled to himself as he pulled the blankets up to his chest. Just sleep, he told himself and then cleared his mind of everything.

There would be a time and place for all of this. But it wasn't now.