Next chapter, stuff happens, go!

To Guest: That's a good thing, right?

To Justice Tokidoki: Yeah, Death does come off as a bratty kid, doesn't it? XD I didn't think too much about that, but you're right. And sorry that it wasn't too action-packed (but still more than last chapter, right? :D), but fighting isn't what always constitutes a final battle—especially one like this. And yay, Lucy is done being useless at practically the end of the story! XD Haha, thank you for your compliments on that! Life is also being an ass, and that's okay because Life is always an ass, if you get what I mean. :P And that chess analogy you made…man, you have no idea. NONE. Heh. And yes, now all three Natsus are in the same place! Who knows what will happen?! (it's not a battle of the souls like you think it's gonna be) Ahem. And yes, poor Natsu hasn't had a break this entire story! Don't worry; he won't have to deal with much more. Story's almost over!

To NatsuL0ver: I'm sorry for the slow updates; I don't choose for life to get in the way. I don't have all the time in the world to write (as much as I wish I did), so please; be patient, okay?

To treeofsakuras: Let me just tell you that you aren't the only one wanting a tragic end for Natsu. As for the rest of Fairy Tail…well, you'll see. ;)

Ch. 20: Blessing As Disguise

Lucy

Things were quiet for about five minutes, and each passing minute had my heart throbbing harder.

It was too quiet. It was too still. Neither Natsu nor Death were moving or speaking. It was like they'd been frozen in time. Natsu had passed out again from the looks of it while somehow still standing upright (and he was dealing with a knife buried in his heart; I couldn't exactly blame him for that), but there was no reason for Death to be this quiet and compliant. I'd expected it to be louder and more panicked, and generally a lot more opposed to what was going on, but it was just as quiet and still as Natsu was. I could've approached them to make sure, but I was scared that something might happen if I went anywhere near them—even though they were completely silent and unmoving, they were giving off an uncomfortable pressure.

In short, I was at a loss as to what I should do now. Was I supposed to wait this out? Should I approach them anyway and try to rouse them again somehow? Should I keep my distance?

I felt increasingly frustrated and helpless. Time was of the essence, and here I was wasting it wondering what I should do in this situation.

Suddenly, I heard the distinct sound of footsteps somewhere behind me—rapid footsteps. Since I'd been under the impression that Natsu, Death and I were the only ones here, I understandably freaked out, especially considering the speed at which this person was heading this way. The footsteps sounded hasty—frantic, even—whoever it was seemed to be in a real hurry to get here.

I whirled around in the direction of the noise and braced myself in case it was an enemy. I saw a tall silhouette approaching, wearing what seemed to be a cloak. Whoever it was seemed to recognize me before I did him.

"Lucy!" the silhouette cried as he approached. "Is that you? Are you alright?"

…Wait a second—I knew this voice!

"Jellal?!" I exclaimed in response, taking a couple steps forward in anticipation. "That is you, right? I'm fine, but Natsu's—"

Jellal finally emerged from the shadows of the cavern. He looked like he been roughing it out in the wild—he was covered in nicks and scratches, his hair was matted and flecked with foreign material, and his clothes were all tattered and torn.

I couldn't hold back the surprise I felt at the sight of him. "What happened to you?" I gasped. "And how did you find us?"

"That's not important," he huffed, immediately turning his attention to the still forms of Natsu and Death. "What's happened here?"

I did my best to explain what had happened starting from the moment Death had Natsu essentially kill our Master all the way to present. So much had happened in the span of several days that I was surprised at how long I talked. When I finally finished, my throat was sore with how much I had said.

Jellal hadn't been too surprised at most of what I'd told him, but he did show some kind of reaction to revealing that the "demon" was actually Death made flesh and at what I remembered Natsu had said about feeling sorry for Death—and all about Life, of course. He accepted what I said rather quickly—but given the situation, he probably felt that he couldn't afford to be debating the issue at the moment.

"So Death is now composed of Natsu's soul and its own life force," Jellal said, "and Natsu is currently in the process of reclaiming his soul, and he risked his own life in order to pin it down in order to do so? And that's how things stand now?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that about sums it up."

"Natsu truly knows no bounds when it comes to defeating an enemy," he muttered. "Still, I wouldn't have expected even someone like him to go this far."

I hesitated. I'd told him the bare backbone of what had happened, but it was nearly impossible for me to comprehend (and therefore nearly impossible to explain) how much Natsu had changed through this whole ordeal. According to Erza, much of the same had happened to Jellal himself when Death had had a hold on him—but now he was back on the side of good, though he had a bunch of issues he still felt that he couldn't forgive himself for.

Natsu was probably in the middle of the same process, now that I was thinking about it, and that really scared me. If Jellal had changed that much thanks to that ordeal, how different would Natsu turn out to be if he survived this? The stakes were obviously much higher now, and Natsu hadn't been brainwashed in the middle of it like Jellal had been—so if he survived, how much worse would he turn out to be? I'd probably already seen traces of it while fighting alongside him, but it was almost too horrible to think about in full.

"In either case," Jellal continued, breaking me out of my thoughts, "I suppose that since Natsu already had his heart damaged by letting Death strike him there to keep it in place, I suspect that either absorbing Death right here will end all of this, or something else will have to be done to truly banish Death."

By that I hoped he meant that we wouldn't have to end this by letting Natsu die. "What do you think we'll have to do?" I asked him.

"Well, trauma has already been dealt to his heart, in more ways than one," Jellal mused grimly, "but still, the heart is the means by which Death is keeping its hold on Natsu, no matter how miniscule the influence. Going off on this, it is safe to theorize that this hold has been broken in the sense that Death is no longer connected to Natsu himself." He glanced back at Natsu and Death with a troubled expression. "However, Death is still very much physically present in Natsu's form. Going on the assumption that what everything you have just told me is true, this means that Natsu's soul hasn't been completely retaken, and therefore possible that some sort of bond still remains between them." He then turned back to me, his eyes dark. "If that turns out to be the case, then additional trauma will be necessary to purge Death from the physical world."

Additional trauma? I didn't like the sound of that at all. "What…what are you saying?" I asked nervously, half-hoping he wouldn't answer my question. "What do you mean by 'additional trauma'? You're not saying that…?"

Even as I asked him, I could see the answer on his face. And I didn't want to believe it.

"No," I whispered, backing away and glancing between Natsu and Jellal in denial. "No, please—that's too much; he can't—you can't do something like—"

"I am only telling you this based on what I have heard from you," Jellal said, his voice disturbingly even given what we were discussing. "Don't think ill of me for saying this, but I presume that Natsu won't oppose my suggestion, either, were he to hear it." His cold gaze penetrated me. "By this point, Natsu has seen and heard things that no human being should have, now or ever. He knows what needs to be done, and he knows that he cannot do it alone—that is why he has led you here. He trusts you more than anyone else. He will need your help."

I shook my head even as he was talking. "Jellal, I—I can't do that—I don't want—"

He then abruptly grabbed my shoulders and shook me once in an attempt to calm me down. His gaze was urgent, pleading even.

"Lucy, I understand how difficult this must be for you," he began, his gaze penetrating me, "but you can't let your emotions rule you! The balance of the world is at stake! The lives of everyone who lives in it also hang in the balance!" I could feel his fingers tighten, his nails digging into my shoulders and making me wince in spite of myself. "Look at him! Natsu has already come to understand this, and is now doing what he can in order to make things right. You must do the same! For the sake of all the lives in this world—and in light of Natsu's own suffering—you have to put an end to all this, Lucy! There is a difference between a want and a need!"

Tears were pouring down my face by this point thanks to the overwhelming grief that Jellal's words had washed over me with. My throat ached from my feeble attempt at trying not to break into a sobbing wreck, and my entire body was shaking.

I knew that. I knew that I had to effectively kill Natsu in order to restore order to the world's cycle of life and death. I knew that I was being cruel by not complying to Natsu's wishes of going through with this act of ending his life so that everybody else's wouldn't have to go through what he did. I knew that I had to hurt him even more in order to do the right thing. I knew that I was the only person who could help him get rid of Death's horrible presence for good and end his torture.

And yet…for the longest time, the same voice in my head kept nagging at me to do otherwise.

I don't want to lose him…I don't want Natsu to die…I don't want him to die…!

But…now was different. I could hear a different thought gently pressing against my consciousness now…and it was telling me something drastically different.

Let him go…holding onto him will only bring more pain upon you both…let him go…for he is deserving of rest.

At some point, Jellal had released my shoulders, but I didn't pay attention to that as I turned to Natsu again. Neither of them had budged from the last time I'd seen them. Before I realized what I was doing, I was walking toward them, very aware of the danger but not caring. I ignored Death completely as I reached them and stared at Natsu's face. Even in spite of the obvious knife and blood, even in light of the possibility that Natsu was probably experiencing something horrible through his unconsciousness like he'd hinted at before…unlike the other times, he looked peaceful and at rest—like he had no other care in the world.

He looked so…unburdened. The thought of waking him from this nearly tore my heart in two.

"Natsu," I managed to whisper through my tears. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…!"

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I broke down and stared sobbing hysterically on the cavern floor, right there at Natsu's feet.

Natsu

I was confused for a minute.

"Whoa, wait a second," I said quickly, glaring at Death warily. "Did you seriously just say that?"

Death didn't look too pleased. "For a moment, I actually thought you weren't such a fool," it growled, stopping in its track just a few yards from me. "But of course, you've managed to prove me wrong."

Okay, that was the last straw. "Says the being of Death throwing a temper tantrum on the world for not loving it enough," I spat, balling my fists and resisting the urge to throw a punch. "You're acting like such a kid. Who's the real fool here, huh?!"

Life pulled me back. "Obviously it is the both of you," he said. "Keep quiet. This is not the time for pointless bickering."

"Dude; how can you call something like this pointless?!" I cried lividly, turning on him. "That bastard came here to kill me!"

"No, it's here because you brought it here," Life corrected me as he released his hold. "It's using this circumstance as a means to try to kill you."

"Great; thanks for clearing that up," I grumbled, turning away from him. "I feel so much better now knowing that this is my fault."

"How much longer do you insist on playing games, Natsu Dragneel?" Death interrupted, forcing my attention back onto it. "Am I nothing more than a joke to you?"

I raised my hands in surrender. "Okay, look; no offense to you," I answered with a huge sigh, "but I'd prefer not to take you seriously. It's just so much easier on me that way."

Death looked increasingly frustrated at my apparent nonchalance. I was probably pissing it off to no end, and I was most likely only bringing my death even closer…but if I was being brutally honest, it'd be totally worth it. At least I'd be going out dissing Death. Not many people can lay claim to that.

Death didn't seem to know what to say to me (I wanted to laugh, but I wasn't really feeling it), so it just turned on Life instead—who'd been watching the two of us bicker like it was some kind of spectator's sport with a totally bored look on his face. For once, I had to give him props for his patronizing attitude.

"I'm starting to regret bringing you into the physical world," Death hissed. "You've done nothing but obstruct me from my goals!"

Life raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me? Are you turning to me to use as a scapegoat now that you're on the verge of failing?"

This was just too good. Death's mouth was shut again at Life's response, and it really was amazing that I still couldn't find it in me to laugh out loud yet.

"As for what I've done," he went on, crossing his arms and letting a slightly smug grin spreading across his face, "I have never intentionally obstructed you in any sense. I've been doing exactly what I've been created to do by simply following the laws that the world has laid out for me, save for the little inconvenience of my gaining sentience thanks to you." Abruptly he dropped the pleasant look and stared at his counterpart with ice-cold daggers. "What do you think that says about your recent behavior?"

There really was no argument for this one. Even Life was looking pretty upset now, and for good reason, too. I was actually feeling a bit nervous myself—if these two decided to throw down in the next three seconds, I had no idea what was going to happen to me. Something much worse than either life or death, probably…and that would majorly suck—not just for me, but for the rest of the world. Part of me wanted to break them up, but the other part wanted me to let them do whatever the hell they wanted. I know that's a stupid thing to think, but you trying dealing with the personifications of Life and Death arguing with each other inside your head and see what you end up wanting to do. Suddenly, you'll start to welcome the whole worse-than-life-or-death possibility.

While Death was working on finding a proper rebuttal, Life shot me a warning look. "This is out of my hands," he told me. "It's not my place to stop Death. As a human being, you encompass both life and death. Put Death back in its rightful place in the world with your own hands. I'll keep its memories at bay while you do so."

I was surprised to hear that. I couldn't help but grin in a gratifying way as I asked, "Softened up a bit, huh?"

Life simply rolled his eyes. "Small wonder Death chose to take you," he sighed, not meeting my eyes. "You two are eerily similar."

"Hey, watch it," I warned heatedly. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't compare me to that freak show." I grinned. "Still, you really don't need to go out of your way to do that."

He raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"Dude, you're Life," I reminded him. "Did you forget about the whole life is impartial deal? You don't interfere with what goes on in the world, and all that?" I spread out my hands. "Besides, you know me, don't you? You are me. I can handle it." I sighed as my hands dropped to my sides apprehensively. "And, well, it's something I need to see. I am partly responsible for everything that's happened, so…I should pay for it, right?"

Life looked at a loss of words at mine, but it was still enough to make him crack up after my admittance. I probably would've felt more self-conscious at that if it weren't for the fact that I was about to effectively destroy myself.

"I almost forgot who I was talking to for a moment," he chuckled, his laughter finally subsiding as he sobered up. "Very well, then. It's as you say. I will stay my hand and let you handle things on your own."

I nodded. "Thanks."

"If only I could accept it." He held out a hand to shake. "At the very least, I will wish you luck."

"Heh, don't push it," I teased him, slapping the palm of my hand into his to accept. "You wouldn't want the creator of the universe on your case for this, right?"

Life just smiled as he faded away into nothing. Now, Death and I were alone here, wherever here actually was.

When I turned back to face Death, it looked absolutely flabbergasted.

"You must have lost every ounce of sanity you had left," it said incredulously. "You're practically begging to die a horrible death."

I pinched the bridge of my nose in exasperation. "Oh, yeah," I groaned. "Of course, you'd think that. But seriously, better a horrible death than a pleasant one after everything we did."

Death looked indignant. "'We'?"

"Hey, in case you haven't noticed, you're also me," I said irritably. "Don't think you're getting off scot-free just because people won't ever know that it was you." I jabbed an accusatory finger at it. "Plus, there are people out there that know it was really you. You're not getting away with this in their eyes."

"You speak as if that will have any direct consequences for me," it scoffed.

"It won't. At least, not from them."

"Surely you're joking."

"Nope, I'm telling the truth." I put my hands on my hips and sighed as I turned away. "And to be honest with you, I'm getting real tired of fighting. I kinda just want this to all be over with already." I gave it a sideways glance. "C'mon, I know you feel the same way. You're getting real sick of all this, too; aren't ya?"

"Yes, I admit that I am," it said, completely serious. "It's rather annoying how you just refuse to die."

"Whoa, there; don't go jumping to conclusions," I interrupted. "I'm not refusing to die or anything—can't you remember what the hell I even did in order to get you here?"

"The very fact that you are still here and speaking to me proves it!" Death snapped furiously. "You are still alive, even after I skewered your heart!"

"Well, that's not exactly my fault," I countered sternly. "My body just decided that I wasn't supposed to die yet; that's all! Seriously, grow up!"

"SILENCE!"

I stepped back in surprise. I could see Death crying again—unmistakable tears were trailing down its cheeks. I wasn't sure how to react to that, because I definitely hadn't been expecting that sort of response.

"I wouldn't expect a mere human like you to understand," it growled, though the effect was marred a bit by its hoarse voice. "Anything that ingrate Life may have told you are all lies! He knows nothing of my pain!" It grasped its chest in a passionate fervor. "I'm no fool! I am fully aware that not every human in the world fears me! Some even embrace me, welcome me, seek me out! I know this!" It was gritting its teeth so hard in its anger that I was afraid that it'd snap an incisor or something. "Life has turned the lot of them into blind and hopeless idiots! They are given too many pleasures and blessings—they enjoy his presence to the point that I am completely forgotten! You humans outright ignore my existence and believe it to be something that you can conquer in your impudence! You consider me a mere afterthought!" Its angry tears were flowing without reserve now, its hands bared into claws as it threw open its arms like it was frustrated at its understanding for not stretching far enough for it to comprehend the concept. "I am only doing this to remind you! I want to remind you humans that I am not to be dismissed! I am very much here, and I am everywhere you turn!" Its bared hands balled into tight fists. "I come with or without warning as reminders to your kind—that I am no faraway misfortune to be disregarded! You cannot run from me! I've only resorted to this because those periodic reminders were not enough—that wasn't enough to correct what Life had ruined!"

Throughout this entire rant, I was feeling a whole jumbled mix of emotions. Honestly, I had no idea what to think, especially since I was getting that horrible gut feeling that you get when you finally accept something that you had hoped wouldn't turn out to be true as true when I considered the probability that Death wasn't spouting a fountain of lies this time. Still, even if I did accept its words as truth, it didn't really sit well with me that it had gone so far to get that to happen.

I felt my jaw tense and my own hands curl into fists as I finally yelled, "Alright, I get it!"

I could tell just by looking that Death didn't believe a word I'd said, but it couldn't seem to think of anything else to say to me, regardless—it simply stood there and glowered at me, not even trying to stop its own tears.

"You probably won't believe me," I began, feeling my chest tighten painfully, "but seriously, I get what you're saying, and you're right about a lot of things. I'll admit it right now; I agree with you—Life is a freakin' asshole! First of all, if he actually cared, I wouldn't even be in this situation talking to you!" I stepped forward once, prompting Death to flinch back a step in response. "But you still don't understand what I said to you before about humans being stupid and ignorant—how can someone like you expect us to properly understand and respect you? Life said so himself; he can only give us humans so much before it's too much for us to handle. Seriously, I shouldn't even know all this to say to you right now!

"You guys both messed up—you for crossing way over the line in order to try and hammer in a concept that probably wouldn't have stuck in the end anyway and for bringing Life into the physical world in the first place, and Life for not thinking about what he did wrong to make you this upset and telling me things I was never supposed to know! Thanks to that, even if I beat you here, nothing can go back to the way it was before—the way it's supposed to be! We can't fix it!"

Death was stunned into silence at my own retort. I closed my eyes as I exhaled a shuddering breath before opening them again and said, "Look, I really can't think of anything else to say to you now, but…I do want to say one more thing."

Before I could let myself think twice, I grabbed Death by the arm and pulled it in for a firm one-armed hug. I probably surprised myself more than anybody—even Death itself—at this move, since I didn't normally consider myself a hugger…especially not of otherworldly body-jacking serial killers. But I felt that Death really needed this one, whether I wanted to give it or not.

"I won't fight you anymore," I said firmly as I released my hold and backed off, bracing myself. "If you still want to, you can take me whenever you want, however you want to do it. It doesn't matter to me—just stop all this pointless killing. It's not worth it to you or anybody else."

I had no idea what was going to happen next. I knew that I'd just done something completely crazy, and if Lucy had seen me do that, she would've immediately gotten someone to toss me in a psych ward or something. That was probably the single most dangerous thing I'd ever done in my entire life (and really, that was saying something).

I expected something really bad to happen, though—like, maybe it would completely ignore what I'd just said to it and stab me through the heart again (and I was pretty sure I couldn't survive it a second time, especially if it was my soul on the receiving end of said stabbing), or maybe we'd run out of time before anything happened and my soul would die forever without me accomplishing my goal, and the world would have to go through all this hell one more time if they wanted Death back where it belonged. Man, would that suck.

Neither of those things happened. Death was too busy staring at its feet to really do anything. Instead, it stepped forward once and placed a hand over my forehead, its thumb pressing firmly against my temple. I still couldn't see its face.

"Natsu Dragneel," it began, and I automatically tensed without meaning to. For whatever reason, it ignored my reaction. "You really are a strange one." It finally raised its head, and I could see an expression that I'd never expected to see—a small, content smile. "It was incredible fortune that led me to select you as my next host. It has been an honor."

Before I could even ponder the concept of asking what it was talking about, my vision went black as I was plunged into its memories.

Lucy

I had no idea how long I'd been crying for. It felt like ages had passed.

I couldn't indulge myself anymore, though. We were still on a time limit. I wasn't sure how much we had left, but it probably wasn't a lot. I couldn't spend the rest of it feeling sorry for myself.

I stood up shakily and eyed the knife that Death had driven into Natsu's heart. Additional trauma…the only thing I could think of that entailed that was to somehow get the knife out. Right now, the knife was acting as a plug—it was keeping most of the blood from spewing out like a popped soda can by keeping itself lodged in the heart. If I was to remove the knife, then that would probably be enough of a trauma wound to force Death back where it belonged.

But Death had a vice grip on the handle from when it had tried to pry itself away from Natsu after stabbing him. I bit my lip and slowly reached out my hand. I'd never touched Death voluntarily before, so I already had a feeling that this wasn't going to be comfortable at all.

My finger had barely brushed against the hem of its sleeve when Death exploded in a bright cloud of dust (somehow leaving Natsu upright by himself). The suddenness of it made me flinch back and yelp.

"Wh-what—what just—?!" I stammered, pulling my hand back and trying to regain my bearings.

Jellal came running up to me, looking just as surprised and confused as I felt. "Did…did that really just happen?"

I had no idea. What did just happen?

Natsu then proceeded to break the silence that followed by gasping and coughing up a copious amount of blood—I could feel warm, sticky droplets splash onto my bare skin thanks to my being so close to him when that happened.

Naturally, I started going insane with worry.

"Natsu!" I cried, taking hold of his shoulders as to steady him. "Hey, are you okay? Say something—"

I stopped short when I saw his expression. His eyes were wide, blank, and glazed, staring into nothing. Tears were pouring out of them again. His body was trembling to the point that I was immensely glad that my hands already had a firm grip on his shoulders. His breathing was short and fast. There was only one word that could properly describe the state he was in.

Traumatized. He was completely traumatized.

But from what?

What just happened?

"Lucy…!"

I started at the sound of his desperate plea—I hadn't expected him to speak. I focused on his face again, and his head was raised now. His eyes still had that blank and unfocused light, staring right through me like I was invisible. He looked desperate…lost.

"Lucy—where are you?" he breathed shakily, a frantic air to his tone. "Are you there? Lucy?"

My heart felt like it would shatter at the sight of him, but I somehow managed to keep myself composed as I answered in a strained voice, "Of course I am, Natsu. It's me—it's Lucy. I'm right here!"

Hearing me say those words made some of the fear in his eyes disappear, but the panic stayed there, as strong as ever—like my voice had been nothing but a figment of his imagination to him. I didn't know if he was hallucinating or not, but it was starting to look like—for whatever reason—he really couldn't see me.

I could hear the anxiety plain in his voice as he pleaded, "Lucy, please—where are you?! Don't leave me alone!"

"Natsu, I'm right here!" I cried, taking care to avoid the knife buried in his chest as I embraced him tightly to try and calm him down. "You don't need to look for me; I'd never leave you alone! I'm right here!"

Unfortunately, he didn't seem to hear me this time. "Please, Lucy—you've got to make it stop," he begged in obvious terror, his whole body tensing up. "No more—I don't want to see anymore! My head—my head hurts!" His begging dissolved into plaintive sobbing as he choked out weakly, "Please—Lucy—somebody—make it stop…please…it hurts…!"

I choked back a sob. He sounded like a lost child desperately searching for his parents—searching for the comfort that would end his pain. He wanted his pain to end, and I was the only one who could make it go away. It was all-too clear to me what he was begging for.

He was begging me to kill him.

Hey, look; Jellal's back! :D I'm surprised nobody asked about him. You guys didn't even realize that he was gone, huh? Too much was taking your attention away from him. :P

And guys, I've made a decision…I finally know what'll happen to Natsu now! :D (About time, I know.) This decision has been just as agonizing for me as the outcome has been for you, so I'm glad I got that weight off of my chest. But you'll have to wait for next update to see the final answer…which won't happen for a while (I got stuff going on in life at the moment), so…sorry about that.

And no, I'm not going to show you Death's memories. I gotta draw the line somewhere, guys; this is a T-rated story. Imagine it yourselves by going off Natsu's reaction. (I felt like such an asshole writing this chapter; you have no idea…agh, my poor babies; I'm so sorry! DX)

Anyway, I'll see you guys on the other side…whenever that may be (but I swear to God Himself that I will finish this story before New Years'!).