There was silence and then suddenly Joker pushed the button gingerly to let the pending message play out.
Much to their dismay, it wasn't a live video but rather audio.
The ship intercom suddenly blared to life and they heard something clattering in the background, "Is this on?" they heard the familiar voice mutter and then a huff, "Oh..yeah." there was a sheepish chuckle and then a clack.
"Shepard?" Joker called out gingerly and glanced at Cortez as he did. There's no way in hell...Right? But the voice was undeniable, it was without a doubt, Shepard's voice.
No answer.
Joker frowned and this time Cortez said something, "Commander?" his voice was hesitant.
No answer.
There was a sudden sigh and then they heard Shepard muttering to herself once more before clearing her throat, "I don't know where to start...but if you guys are getting this, then this means the war is over and I'm gone. It's kind of weird recording this now when I can hear everyone outside my room. If I do this right, then this message should be sent to the Normandy a few weeks after the estimated date of the reaper termination."
Joker and Cortez froze.
"What's going on here?" they heard Liara demand to know from the entrance of the cockpit, behind her there was a line of confused crew members. No one commented on James' absence.
"Shh!" Joker held up a hand to silence anyone who felt the need to say something, "Just listen." he rolled his eyes. The excitement that he had felt earlier was gone in a flash and suddenly he felt stupid for expecting the impossible.
"I don't know what happened or what consequences my actions brought but if the reapers are gone then I have nothing to complain about. My job is done." there was a pause in the message and then, "It was fun you guys and I wouldn't have traded my time with all of you for anything. I want to thank you all for the service you guys dedicated and the sacrifices you all had to make for the success of this last mission."
In the background, everyone could hear the distant sounds of laughter and pieces of conversation going.
It was strange to think that they had been in Shepard's apartment doing other things at the same time she was recording this message...and knowing it was going to be her last potentially.
They looked down unable to look at each other. Had she felt alone? Even when they had been right outside her door no one noticed anything.
"Don't feel guilty about anything." Shepard's voice continued warmly almost as if she had known what they were going to be thinking and feeling, "In any case, it's been one hell of an adventure and I couldn't have done it without any of you. Now go get yourselves some drinks and have a good time. I'll be waiting for you guys on the other side." a pause, and then quietly, "Shepard out."
There was a click and then dead silence.
No one moved.
-.-.
In the shuttle bay James had stopped moving the moment he heard Shepard's voice through the ship intercom. For a moment he had thought that it really was Shepard speaking, that she was alive and well and contacting them.
He clenched his fists still standing in front of the now still punching bag. He needed to keep himself under better control. Of course he knew that it wasn't possible.
Suddenly feeling tired, James walked over to his cot and plunked down onto it. He just wanted to sleep for a good long while but no matter how he tried to fall asleep, the images of Lola wouldn't let him. He didn't want to see those dreams again if he could help it.
-.-.
There was still a shocked silence in the air as everyone tried to think of what to do or say.
Everyone in the cockpit was still.
Then, "You have another message Joker." Liara's voice broke the silence when a blue light started to flash.
Joker pressed the button on reflex, "This is the SSV Normandy SR-2. Joker speaking." his voice was listless.
"This is Alliance HQ officer Worthington speaking. SSV Normandy SR-2 is cleared for docking at number 3. There shouldn't be anymore debris in your path now. Also Admiral Hackett has requested an audience from everyone aboard the ship in conference room S5 as soon as the ship is docked." the voice was stoic and almost robotic as the officer spoke.
"Understood, Joker out." the Normandy pilot managed to push the last words out and then cut the light as he activated the main control board and began to prep the Normandy for its descent back to earth, "Everyone heard that right?" he didn't look back.
"We got it." Liara spoke softly and then began to walk away back down to the crew quarters with everyone else. Whether it was because of shock or something else, no one was talking about Shepard's message.
Cortez put a hand on Joker's shoulder for a second and then walked away as well. The best thing they could all do was try to move on with their lives. That was the reason why she thought to send a message like that right? To make sure no one was moping around and degenerating into poor excuses of soldiers?
-.-.
The conference room was large, filled with dust, and empty. It was one of those rooms that had been lucky enough to escape being used as a safehouse for people during the reaper invasion or from being completely destroyed by red beams. The tables inside were connected and formed a large oval in the middle of the room with black chairs around it. It seemed so old school compared to the more up to date conference rooms using holographs and screens for data transfers and viewing.
Everyone sat a little spread out from one another in the room, some talking, some silent, but most just tired and devoid of energy.
When they had disembarked from the Normandy the bridge of the docking bay had been bottlenecked with people, the halls were overflowing, there were hundreds of cameras hovering above their heads, and to top it all off, there had been banners made with everyone's faces on them. It was like some celebrity fan meeting. Everyone screamed and cheered and hustled to try and get a look at their favorite Normandy crew member but thankfully the Alliance had provided them with extra security detail as if anticipating that this have happened. The crew members, at the very least were able to walk a few feet without being pulled into the crowd.
"Are you feeling better now Mr. Vega?" Cortez asked James who was sitting in the very back of the conference room away from everyone else. He was quiet as he sat next to the scowling lieutenant. There had been a few issues with James and his 'fans' as he walked down the hallway trying to get to the conference room. The first time someone grabbed his hand he just shook it off and told himself to ignore it but after what seemed to be the hundredth time of people grabbing at whatever they could touch, James had almost lost it.
Liara had to put up a biotic barrier around the overzealous admirer and two other people had to restrain James before he could pull his fist back. It was...uncharacteristic of him to say the least. To prevent anything else from happening, Traynor, muttering words of apology had shoved Garrus into the face of the crowd before Liara took off with James.
The turian...well, he had been a valuable and unforgettable sacrifice. To say that he was stripped of his dignity would be putting it mildly.
"No." James mumbled, the dark look on his face seemed to be permanently etched there and showed no sign of disappearing.
Cortez nodded more to himself than to James as they sat side by side to each other. No one else approached James, rather, no one could approach him. The lieutenant could be a master at making himself distant from everyone else, something that was new to everyone else.
"It's just..." James half growled and half sighed, "Did you see them out there?" he looked at Cortez, his eyes were full of anguish yet his face bore hatred and anger, "The way they idolized us." his hands had curled into fists, "The way they forgot about Lola." he spat and looked away. He couldn't help feeling angry. Was that all Shepard had been to them? Had she just been a convenient war hero? Had her sacrifices and hard work meant nothing?
"You know that no one would ever forget the commander." Cortez gently pointed out, he knew where Mr. Vega was coming from but to the civilians who had never been close to her, they couldn't be expected to understand.
James suddenly sighed, "Yeah Esteban...I know." he suddenly seemed to deflate, "There's just a lot going on for me right now. Sorry." there was a sense of defeat coming from the lieutenant. It didn't need to be said that he was still having a hard time coping with everything.
"It's nice to have everyone back." a voice suddenly brought the soldiers to attention.
Hackett walked into the room accompanied with one other Alliance soldier that everyone recognized as Bailey. The Admiral looked haggard and thinner than ever before but the strength and authority in his eyes had not diminished, "No need to get up." he held up a hand when everyone moved to stand and salute, "I'm sure you're all tired."
No one said anything but there were a few nods going around.
"The reason why I gathered Commander Shepard's crew here is for a couple of reasons." Hackett jumped straight into the meeting, "The first, being that there will be an official ceremony held to honor the soldiers who gave their lives to help end the war, Bailey will send you more details later." there was a pause now, and then Hackett sighed, "The second reason I called you all here was to tell you about Commander Shepard."
There was cold silence.
They never seemed able to get away from her did they? Even when she was gone.
James shut his eyes almost unwilling to hear anymore. He had enough for now. Maybe it was time for him to retire? No...N7, he was going to be N7 and he was going to make Lola proud. Whatever it took.
"We have sent out search teams after the confirmed defeat of the reaper forces. They have managed to recover Anderson's body but..." Hackett paused, "Commander Shepard's body has been confirmed to be missing. Currently there are no traces of her that can be found."
Despite the news, no one was surprised. How could there be traces? She had been caught in an explosion that had decimated the Citadel. How could any portion of a human survive that? It was a miracle that Anderson's body had been recognizable as a body and not a chunk of charcoal as horrible as that sounded.
"However...there have been interesting rumors lately." Hackett continued and he took a seat at the head of the conference table with Bailey still standing behind him, "We have been getting reports of sightings of Shepard."
There was an immediate buzz of conversation and whispers around the conference that only stopped when Hackett cleared his throat, "I have a significant portion of our agents working on uncovering this rumor but I'm afraid that it's not enough, whoever this person is, she is very skilled. And there are too many tasks to accomplish and our people are limited." he looked around the table.
James felt his face contort slightly. This had to be some sort of sick joke. No, he would not believe this rumor. If he believed it and this rumor turned out to be just that, a rumor, then he wouldn't be able to take it.
"Regrettably, I'm not able to assign everyone here with helping to confirm whether these are just rumors or not, the most I can spare is one person." Hackett held up a hand silencing the beginning sounds of protests, "I know, but right now there's nothing that even I can do. Alliance HQ needs all the soldiers it can get to rebuild and clean up this mess that the reapers left behind." the admiral sighed tiredly and rubbed his eyes, "The most I was able to plead from the top is one person."
Everyone frowned and Liara was about to open her mouth to say something in protest but Hackett just shook his head, "I know that nothing is more important than finding Shepard but this was all I could do." there was a weariness in his voice that made it difficult for anyone to argue, "Besides this, there is no definite confirmation about Shepard's survival. We will have to continue with the assumption that Shepard is..deceased." the admiral took a deep breath before continuing, "So with all of that said, is there anyone who would like to volunteer?" he looked around the table.
Suddenly James felt everyone looking at him, "What?" he looked back at them in confusion and then it dawned on him, "Oh come on guys, I'm sure there are better people here to ask." it's not that he didn't want to look for Lola, on the contrary, he was itching to go searching for her...if she was alive that is. If he could help it, he didn't want to get too involved in this rumor. In the end it would only hurt him.
Hackett let out a small grin, "Lieutenant Vega, you are hereby assigned to finding out the truth about these rumors and if it comes down to it, confirming Commander Shepard's death."
James frowned feeling a little irritated, but he couldn't turn down orders from a higher ranking officer, "Yessir." he nodded robotically. He had too many mixed feelings about this right now.
"My team will be sending you more details and information regarding this case soon." Hackett stood up, "Bailey will give you rooms to stay in for the time being and if you need anything contact an Alliance officer. Your new assignments will be coming in a week so rest up while you can." he turned to Garrus and Liara, "If either of you need to go somewhere just tell an officer and we can arrange something, other than that you two are also free to stay as long as you'd like." Hackett then turned to everyone and saluted, "Good work everyone. The galaxy thanks you for your sacrifices." Admiral Hackett smiled and then walked out of the conference room.
"The galaxy huh?" James muttered as he watched the doors slide close behind the admiral.
"He seems like a grandfather." Liara murmured, "Like the ones that I've been told about by other humans."
Garrus snorted.