I felt as though I were about to collapse when I entered the throne room. My heart was racing, my knees were weak, and now, I had no Etka or Naheel beside me.
The throne room was cavernous, the high ceiling supported by hundreds of towering pillars. And along the walls were lapping, dancing orange flames, throwing off a massive amount of heat that made me feel ready to collapse and pass out in my heavy robes. As soon as I saw the outline of the Firelord, seated atop his throne at the center of it all, I fell to my knees, prostrating myself before him.
This was my father. This terrifying man was my father.
"All hail the Firelord!" I proclaimed, as Etka had taught me, all the while trying to keep my voice from shaking.
"What have you come here for?" Ozai asked, his voice sharp and cold. "I do not give charity."
"I am not asking for your charity, Your Majesty," I shouted above the crackle and roar of the flames. "I - I only come with a request for information."
"Stand up, and come closer. I cannot hear you," He ordered crossly, and I obeyed, pausing before him and bowing my head, my hands finding the dagger. How was I going to tell him this? The most important thing of my life, and I hadn't thought once to rehearse it. "Well? What have you come to say? Do not waste my time."
"Your Majesty, what I'm about to tell you will sound unbelievable, but I have proof," I said, slowly removing the dagger from beneath my robes and holding it tightly in my hands.
"Many years ago, there was a young woman, who was deeply in love with a prince, and the prince was deeply in love with her," I said slowly, keeping my head bowed respectfully. "But the young woman was of lower class, and she and the prince could not be married, especially since the prince was already engaged. To promise his love to her, the Prince gave her a present before his wedding, but what...what he didn't know was that the young woman was already...pregnant." I whispered these last words, gaining the courage to finally look up at Ozai. My father was staring at me, his eyes enormous, alarmed. It took me aback to finally look upon his face, for the first time.
He had long black hair, running down his broad chest, and dark, inky black eyes. He had a long, narrow beard and his mouth looked like it had frequently been etched into a frown. For someone who looked so harsh, I wondered how Kita had ever grown to love him.
"The prince," I continued. "Didn't know that he had fathered a child, and the wedding went on as planned. But the young woman still had the unborn child. When her family discovered that she was carrying a child out of wedlock, they disowned her. Having no place to go, the young woman left the Fire Nation in secret and wandered through the Earth Kingdom until she reached the Southern Water Tribe and gave birth. She begged a fisherman and his wife to keep the baby, and they agreed, and the young woman disappeared, leaving only this as proof of her story." I held the dagger aloft, so that Ozai could see.
He had considerably paled, gripping the edges of his throne with white knuckles. He knew. He remembered. "Where did you get that?" He managed with strangled voice. "What do you want?"
"I am Kita's baby," I said, tears welling in my eyes. "This was hers, and she gave it to my adoptive parents so that one day I would know. I'm your daughter." There was a silence, a silence so loud I thought that I would burst. "I - I had to find you, Your Majesty," I continued, pleading. "You're the only one who might know where my mother is - "
Ozai held up a hand. "Be quiet," He commanded, and I fell silent, swallowing nervously. He stood, sighing shakily and still gripping hard the armrest on the throne.
"Kita..." He breathed, staring almost brokenly beyond me. "Ohhh God, Kita..."
I watched him, my heart racing inside my chest. The Firelord's face was masked in pain, his eyes looking as though the thing he had held most dear had been ripped from him. I stayed absolutely still, afraid that anything I could have said or done would ignite a furious rage.
Suddenly, Ozai turned to me, and I flinched, quickly bowing my head again and averting my eyes. "Who knows about this?"
"The family that I lived with," I blurted out, hoping that my words would not be damning them. "And my two companions, Captain Song Etka, and my adoptive brother, Naheel. They are all sworn to secrecy, Your Majesty. No one else knows."
The Firelord exhaled, relaxing slightly. "Alright," He mused, still looking quite shaken. "You and your companions will stay here at the palace for the time being. I want no one to know of this, do you understand me?"
I knew this was under threat of my life, and I nodded fiercely. "I understand, Your Majesty, and I thank you for your benevolence." My voice was trembling, and I wanted nothing more than to flee.
"Leave - leave me now," He said, taking a seat back on his throne, and I bowed low to him before hurrying from the throne room. I was scared of turning my back to him, and breathed a heavy sigh of relief once I was beyond the doors, falling against the wall and running my hands down my face. They were shaking so fiercely that I could barely hold them aloft.
I heard a footstep, and with a start, realized that I was not alone. My heart felt as though it had suddenly turned to stone when I saw Prince Zuko standing before me, his look of pure shock betraying his knowledge of everything that had transgressed in the throne room.
"You - Your Highness," I stammered, clumsily bowing towards him. "I - I…"
"Is it true?" He demanded, sounding slightly hurt. "Is it true that you're my...my sister?"
"Yes," I gave a strangled whisper. "I'm sorry."
Zuko looked away, closing his eyes. I knew how hard this must be to take in, to find out that everything he thought was true had been convoluted by an unexpected variable. "I can't believe that he would do something like that," He murmured.
"It was before His Majesty was married to your mother," I tried to comfort him. "It was before he had you and Azula. He didn't even know I existed until today."
"It doesn't matter," Zuko scowled, then added. "It's not like he cares about me anyways." My heart sank.
"I'm so sorry," I said gently, trying to make him feel what I felt. The prince looked up again, meeting me in the eye. He was only a little shorter than I was.
"You're lucky it wasn't Azula who overheard," He said, beginning to walk past me, and I followed him.
"How so, Your Highness?"
"You're just lucky," Zuko repeated, and I decided to drop it. From what I had seen of his sister, I had already hated.
"Will - will you tell anyone, Your Highness?" I asked nervously. "The Firelord swore me to secrecy."
"No," Zuko said firmly. "I'll keep your secret." He paused, and I realized that he had taken me back to the courtyard, where Etka and Naheel were waiting. Upon seeing Zuko and I, they quickly got to their feet. "Just be careful. Others will not."
"Thank you, Your Highness," I said, doing my best to convey my sincerity. "And, I'm sorry - about all of this. I know it must be hard for you to take this in - it was hard for me too."
"It's not your fault you were born," He said grimly. I stared at him, hoping for an explanation, but he never gave one. Zuko gave me a close-lipped half-smile that did little to conceal his feelings, and left me.