Spoiler alert: Greeks Bearing Gifts
Beta-ed: GlassSplinter
How Ianto's pain began to whither in the days following the cannibal incident. Ianto discovered a new sensation sliding beneath the pain. It was a warm and fuzzy feeling, and it wasn't all that bad. He felt it only when Jack was near, so he made sure to always be close to him. As soon as Jack was out of sight, the pain came crumbling back in with all its weight. Ianto was puzzled by the feeling, so he kept himself behind Jacks back, that's how he could think about it in peace.
He discovered that watching the line of Jack's back, and how it transformed itself in his shoulders made the feeling stronger, and when Jack turned his head towards something, or someone, on the side, his profile sent shivers down his spine. He was too numb to decide what that feeling meant, but it was something different than the all consuming pain that haunted him from within and out, so he lingered in it.
I was only after Toshiko revealed the nature of her new pendent he began to wonder how his feelings may look like from the side. He interviewed her and it seemed like she had not spotted his dubious feelings. Guilt was on her face, like when she had spoken with Gwen. There was only the sympathetic smile she had had since Lisa had gone. He didn't mind that, she understood.
Jack let him conduct the interview, he knew that Toshiko would talk to him easier than with the others. He turned that interview into something more like a chat. She smiled at him and he thought that they were becoming mates. However, he was faced with the same problem that occurred all the time since Lisa went away. Her smile reminded him of the smile that she used to give him when he saved her from embarrassment in front of others. That happened from time to time, she... He stopped himself from drifting. That was the problem, it seemed to him that every woman had something that would trigger a memory of Lisa. That was still too painful, and it would always end up in images of death, blood, steel and metallic footsteps. So instead of that he went and looked after his new distraction from pain.
Jack was sitting with his eyes closed alone in his office, his foot raised on the shiny surface of the desk, his fingers crossed under his chin. It seemed he was deep in thought. In front of the team he was fierce and confident but here, Ianto just knew, he was thinking about the woman he had just sent to death, and wondering, was he the monster after all? Ianto felt a bit guilty about that, he knew that his words were spoken in anger, and it had hit something deep inside Captain Jack. So he leaned forward and put the report on the desk, his chest slightly brushing on the man's shoulder. Jack jumped, startled.
"Oh, Ianto." He relaxed. "That was quick."
"Tosh is thorough and detailed, it was easy to get the picture." And then Ianto took a step over the line.
"You did well sir. She was deep in trouble and almost suicidal. That woman held no consideration for her. She was only a tool in her hands."
Jack grinned widely at the image and Ianto knew his comment was successful.
"I bet she was a great tool," he winked at him. "I better go and talk to her."
Jack pranced away in his cocky way and Ianto watched him leave. He composed himself and started to straighten up Jack's desk. Only when he caught himself lingering on an image of a naked Jack bent over the shiny desk did he realize what sort of emotions had haunted him during the last couple of weeks. He felt his knees weaken. What the hell was he going to do with that?