Chapter Nine:
Call of the Yeti
Salem sat in her room above Naboos' shop, packing some of her clothes for the camping trip Howard had planned. A knock came from her door.
"Come in." She called, placing some of the last minute items in the suitcase. She looked up to see Howard standing in the doorway in nothing but his bathing suit portion of his utility suit, stifling a laugh at the ridiculous sight.
"Are you about ready?" He asked, sounding slightly annoyed. She nodded her head and zipped up her suit case.
"Yes, all ready to go." She said smiling at the man. He blushed, just realizing what he was wearing and exited the room. She giggled and walked out. She walked by Naboo, who was shirtless, trying to pick out a turban. She mentally questioned herself as to why she moved into this place.
"It's the cheapest rent you could find..." She reminded herself, stopping as she walked by Bollo trying to help Vince pack his clothes. She let her eyes roam over Vince, heart fluttering at just the sight of him.
"...And there's that..." Her mind told her. Shaking out of her stupor she approached the familiar and Vince, setting her luggage down.
"Need any help?" She offered, smiling at the duo. They nodded as Bollo began to push down the clothes. When they were down she quickly pushed the top cases top down and sat on it, leaving Vince to lock it. The trio jumped behind the bed as the suitcase rattled, finally settling down.
They arrived at the cabin Howard had rented out, Naboo and Bollo quickly ditching the trio in order to go and get supplies. Salem sat bored over Howards lecture, having already known the basics that he was trying to teach.
She glanced over at Vince who was scribbling 'Please kill me" on his note pad. Salem suppressed her laughter and quietly tore a page from her notebook, making it appear as if she were listening to Howard, she began to write a note.
"Hey, Is it me or is this a bit boring?" She wrote. Folding the paper up while Howard had his back turned to the chalk board. She slipped her hand under the table and put the note on Vinces lap, brushing her hand on his thigh as she pulled it back.
Vince feeling the touch looked over to Salem, and saw as her eyes went down to his lap. He looked down and grabbed the note, waiting for Howard to turn his back again. He opened the note and read it, a smile on his face as he began writing on the note.
"You bet your sweet ass it is." He wrote back. He let his hand slip under the table, placing the note on her lap and giving her thigh a playful squeeze making her blush. She quickly recovered and pulled up the note. She smiled.
"When did you start looking at my ass?" She wrote trying not to laugh. Looking at Howard as he explained the life cycle of a frog. He turned to the board and she slid her hand under the table, tapping her free hand twice. Vince looked over and discreetly took the note.
Salem watched through the corner of her eye as Vince began to blush. A smirk crept onto her face in victory. Vince smiled about to answer her when the door burst open, revealing a mountain man. Salem jumped backwards from the shock, ending up on Vinces lap.
One of his hands holding onto her thighs and the other around her back. Noticing the position the pair quickly dropped the pose and backed themselves against the far wall. The man and Howard began talking, until the man noticed Vince and Salem.
"Oh, and who are these fair and lovely creatures?" He said, finding some form of gentleman within himself and mistaking Vince for a woman. Salem would have found this funny if the man hadn't turned his attention to her.
She could feel him undressing her with his eyes, before the men got onto the topic of scars and Vince flashed the one on his hip from a straightening iron. The man licked his fingers and rubbed his nipples, Salem cringed inwardly. Howard caught his attention once again and the man and Howard excused themselves to go sit on the porch, shutting the door behind them.
"Well, I'm officially freaked out." Salem said, going towards her suit case to get her night clothes. Vince walked over to his mirror and plugged in his various hair devices. He watched her move around through the mirror as she dug through her case, finding her sleeping tank top. It was white, and splashed with every neon color imaginable. Next was her bright electric blue shorts and a pair of bright pink, green, purple and blue striped knee high, fuzzy socks.
He watched as she left the room to go change her clothes. He began straightening his hair, keeping his eye on the door she had entered. Shortly emerging from the room, dressed for bed and her hair down. She placed her clothes back into the case, and got out a white, fluffy knee length robe with the pattern of brightly colored skulls on it. Vince smiled and turned around to look at the girl.
Salem turned and smiled at him, tying the robe around her waist. He motioned his head for her to come closer, her following his directions.
"Here, let me do your hair." He said, pushing her gently into a chair and getting out his supplies. He ran the straightener through her hair, adding various waxes, conditioners and serums to it. Salem smiled at the attention he was paying to her. Vince shook his head at the girls hair, unable to make it look any better than it already was.
"Is something wrong Vince?" She asked. Vince shook his head and chuckled.
"No. I just can't make your hair look any better than it already is." He said, still dumbfounded at the situation. Salem smiled in return.
Howard walked back in through the door, saying something about going on a walk, to try and take pictures of the wildlife in the surrounding area, before leaving the pair alone.
It wasn't very long before the mountain man walked into the cabin, his eyes fixed on Vince and Salem. Vince pushed Salem behind him as the man advanced upon them. Salem clung to the back of his shirt as the man got in Vinces face, rambling on about trying to make it with them both.
Vince glanced over and grabbed the straightening iron and clamped it over the intruders nose. The smell of burning flesh entered Salems nose, making her a bit queasy. Naboo entered at that moment and the man ran away.
"Where's Howard?" He asked, eyes filled with panic.
"He went on a walk about the woods or something." Vince said, turning and checking on Salem. Salem gave him a shaky smile, and released her grip on his shirt. Vince helped her into a seat as Naboo went on about Yeti mating and how dangerous it was for Howard to be out during this time.
The friends decided to go find Howard, all of them jumping into the car. Vince sat in the drivers seat, arguing with Naboo and Bollo over not knowing how to drive. Salem sighed, and was about to offer assistance when a ninja delivering one of Vinces magazines showed up.
The ninja drove at top speed to get the group as close as he could, then leaving with the speed every ninja possessed. The group began calling for their friend.
The group entered a clearing, where they found Howard, dressed in a white flowing garment, his hair down and shockingly longer with a crown of wild flowers sitting across his brow. Salem face palmed at the sight while the others stared on in shock.
Soon Howard started preaching about the wonders of nature, and being one with it. Naboo warned Vince to stay punk, stating that his mind was like a fortress. Salem shook her head as she watched the other men be brainwashed by the yeti females.
"Look into our eyes, you can see the future. Look into our eyes, we can see your soul." The men sang. Salem face palmed herself again, watching them dance around like lunatics.
"There has to be a way to snap them out of this." She thought, trying to recall what she had read on yeti induced trances. That's when a gunshot went off, and the men came back to their senses.
"RUN!" The mountain man yelled. They all ran as the yeti queen appeared behind them, chasing them all the way back to the cabin. They slammed the door shut and hid in the wall, making their heads appear to be mounted to it. The queen looked around, searching for any movement. She turned to leave when Bollo sneezed.
They all screamed as Salem slid out and under the Yeti queen just as she was standing over Vinces suitcase.
"Clothing avalanche!" She yelled and released the snaps holding the suitcase closed. The clothes flew out with such force that it sent the Queen flying through the air and back into the depths of the forest. They all packed their belongings back up, loaded the car and quickly started the journey back home.