(In which Chloe is magically transformed into a kid, and Beca's constantly finding herself on the verge of either puking or going into maternal freak-out-mode.)
No one really noticed it at first.
Early morning, hangovers being felt throughout the entire household, the sweet aroma of coffee wavering in the kitchen –yup, nothing better than a lazy Sunday right? Well, I'd love to say yes to that, but of course, the universe just loves poking fun at my ass now doesn't it?
"Morning Stace," I greeted, nodding in her direction as she came strolling into the kitchen. "Anyone else up yet?"
"Mmm…" she yawned, scratching the back of her hair and coming to stand next to me. "Nope."
"Not even Chlo?"
"M-m. Now how's that coffee coming?"
"Five more minutes."
Both groggy as we were, a silence was lapsed for the remaining minutes. Thinking and contemplating of the night before –dancing, drinking, kissing, strangers, metal poles, and blaring music. Not the best to the term "living" life to the fullest, but fun nonetheless. So I'll count it as a score.
Beep Beep Beep…
Coffee completed, two mugs were out in a span of five seconds, poured and mixed and done. We both grabbed our mugs and made our way to the kitchen counts, sliding onto the stools and leaning elbows onto the counter. Blow, sip, blow, sip…
"That's good stuff."
"Oh yeah."
Blow, sip, sip, blow, blow, sip…
"Pretty wild night huh?"
"Eh, I've had wilder."
"Oh course you have Stace."
Sip, blow, sip,sip,sip,sip…
"Hey Stace?"
"Hm?"
Sip, sip…
"I had a pretty weird dream last night."
"…me too."
Sip, sip, sip…
"It was like, about Chloe. And –and this guy too."
"What? Were they having sex or something?"
"Eugh Stacie no! Don't be sick."
Sip, sip…
"…so what was it about then?"
"Ehhh. It was pretty –pretty weird. Chloe was like, a kid or something. Toddler really."
"…"
"Pretty weird right?"
Sip…
"Beca."
"What?"
"I had that same dream."
"…"
"…"
"Oh no."
Oh no indeed since, the dream itself, had been a warning. No, not warning, more like threat/punishment. On Chloe. Which –of course –speak of the devil, the sound of a door slamming open echoed across the walls, soon followed by the pitter-patters of feet coming down the stairs.
"Well was it fake?!"
"The hell am I supposed to know!?"
The steps were coming closer, and both our eyes were then reverted to the kitchen's opening, waiting in suspense as the steps came nearer and nearer to the entrance.
Pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat…
...
..
..
.
.
"Stace?"
.
.
"Yeah?"
.
.
"Am I on drugs?"
.
.
"Depends."
.
.
"On what?"
.
.
"Whether or not I'm on drugs."
.
.
..
..
…
…
So I ended up slipping off my seat, coffee mug however remaining safely intact atop the counter seat. But even as soon as my butt hit the ground, I shot up to my feet, still staring at the paradox in front of my eyes.
Still Chloe –blue eyes, red hair, smiling dimples. But…short.
Like. Really short.
"Mama!"
"What tha' f-oof!"
Oh I don't know, six or seven maybe? A packaged bundle of utter joy, radiating with just the purest amount of innocence and sunshine –rushing and nearly tripping over her two little pairs of feet. I could only raise my hands up as she collided into my legs, rubbing and nuzzling her face into my pajama pants.
Now. If I were to tell you that I handled the situation with the skill and expertise of the president of the fucking United States himself –then I'd totally be telling the truth...(but at the same time be lying so...)
"Oh my god. Oh mY goD." I looked up to Stacie, then back at the child who was still hugging my leg, then back up to Stacie again. "Stacie. Stacie help me. Stacie I think I'm gonna –I'm gonna –holy fuck I think I'm gonna' puke."
"Don't…" she was still staring at the current child latched onto my leg. "…just…don't make any. Sudden. Movements."
"Stacie I –Stacie I'm gonna' puke. Get'er off."
"Mama!"
"OH FUCK I'm gonna puke!"
"Think of the child Beca! Remain calm!"
"She's Chloe Stacie! She's-…*gags*… oh my god. Oh my…*gags again*…Stacie get her off!"
"Alright alright just –hold on."
You probably think I was joking, weren't you? Or at least exaggerating to an extreme point. Well, fuck you. Because oh my fucking god, Chloe Beale was a toddler. A toddler. That would pretty much make me into a beautiFUL FUCKING princESs frog from magical unicycle land RIGHT?! Panicked and confused and in a complete state of shock –of course I'm going to go into some sort of panic attack right now!
Stacie slid off her stool, slowly as to not startle the attached child. Child, not grown up, not an adult, not my co-captain, notthathotashellsexyla-
"Chloe?" she asked, now bending down behind the child-version-Chloe-and-whatthefack. "Do you know who I am?"
Her grasp on my leg didn't cease as her head was turned, looking over to face Stacie.
"Who'er you old lady?"
It was thus –the world froze. Time itself, still and quiet. The word, echoing throughout the chasms of both Stacie and my thoughts.
Old…
…old…
…old…lady—lady –lady -lady.
Dizzy-gonna-throw-up feeling seemingly washed down the drain, I quickly smacked a hand onto Stacie's forehead, reminding her of where she was.
"Stace. Snap out of it. Think of the child right?"
"She called me old," her voice was barely breathed out, eyes widened in disbelief. Honestly, it was hard for me to tell whether or not she was about to cry, or rip apart the poor soul in front of her. "Chloe called me old."
"She didn't mean it Stace. You know she didn't mean it."
"You're also weird."
"Chloe, you're not helping right now."
"I'm bored."
"Hush Chloe."
…welp. Things could be a lot worse right? This –this is only a small factor to an even larger concept. On one hand, Chloe could've been, y'know, like a really small three month baby instead. Or on another setting she could be bawling her eyes out right now instead of remaining in this weirdly calm-for-a-child mood.
"Alrighty then…" I looked between Stacie and toddler Chloe. As if now, Stacie wasn't exactly emotionally prepped to take care of a child that had dared to call her the "O" word. Now now now now then –here's the other thing you're not exactly aware of. The dream, the dream Stacie and I both had. Some guy, cocky as hell, had stated clearly to us that Chloe(the idiot) was like how she was right now because she apparently somehow pissed him off. The only crucial warning he really gave us was that Chloe wasn't allowed to be seen by anyone but us, and if she was seen –the effect would be detrimentally permanent.
So fuck. Guess things did sort of just get worse.
And no way I'm taking her outside to hide somewhere else or anything. Because…who knows what can happen to her right? There's so many possibilities and-and…she can trip and crack her head open or run out into the street and get smashed by a car –or –OR –get kidnapped by a gang of nefarious criminals that happened to escape from prison the moment she stepped foot out of myLINEOFVISION…
"Nope." I quickly reached down and slid my hands under her arms, lifting the giggling mini-Chloe and tucking her close to my chest. "Nope nope nope nope," said repetitively as I made my way out of the kitchen and away from the still starry eyed Stacie. "Nothing's happening to you on my watch kid." Up the stairs in a flash, giving a quiet "hush" to kid-Chloe as I slowly reached for the door knob, twisting it open and peering though.
Sure enough, the giantess still lay fast asleep.
Chloe's room will just have to do the-…was hardly though before the door to Jessica's room was opened, then Legacy's, then fuck why is everyone waking up right now?!
So without really a choice anymore, I quietly slipped into the room, gently creaking the door shut. As silent as I could possibly be, I tiptoed with the caution of a robber –carefully carefully towards the opened closet door. A fairly roomy hideout until this wears off right? I was only a few steps away from triumph until Chloe decides (even as a child she can still piss me off the same way), silence is boring. So she goes ahead and starts grabbing at my hair, yanking hard and pulling me off course.
"Augh –stop it Chlo!" I hissed.
She snorted, face going red at an obvious attempt to appeal to my previous warning of staying quiet.
"Chlo –ow. Ow ow. Chloe stop!" I whispered through clenched teeth.
Then she let out a loud bark of laughter, and I immediately felt my heart drop. "No-o-o-o-o!" she squealed loudly. Very loudly. I froze in my movements, turning my head slowly to face the mumbling giant. Breath held in, I waited a good two seconds before continuing my journey, painfully deciding that letting my hair get ripped out was better than having Chloe stay like this eternally.
"Alright Chloe," I whispered once we were finally in the closet, closing the door behind me and flicking on the lights. "Here's where we camp out for the day."
I gently set her down amidst the jungle of clothing. Innocent enough, she gave a quick 360 degree turn before grabbing at one of Amy's nearby bikinis and beginning to play with it.
…eh, I'll let it pass.
"Now don't move," I made sure to instruct carefully, backing up carefully to the door. "Kapeesh?"
She looked up though, fuck she looked up –fACk why am I still looking back at her.
Here's the deal. It's well known throughout the household –fuck that –pretty much the entire Barden University of the legendary irresistible puppy eyes of Chloe Beale. If she wanted you to get her a snack –bam! Puppy eyes, and one minute later you're confused as to how you got into the kitchen. If she wanted you to do her Chemistry work –bam! An hour later you're wondering why you're doing Chemistry work when you're not even taking a science credit in the first place. Hell, if she wanted you to rob a bank –bam! A day later, you're wondering what you're doing in a jail cell.
So. Imagine the pain I must be going through right now, with a multiplied quadrupled flash of puppy eyes being directed straight in to my soul.
"You're leaving?"
"…*internal screaming*…"
"Don' go please…" and there were tears gathering at the edge of her eyes, sniffles being wiped away as she was still watching my every movement.
"Oh um…" Jeez I just need to get some rations and junk… "…of course…not."
Immediately her vigor was revived, and she sprang up from her criss-crossed position and ran over to me.
"Yay!" she cried, tugging at my hand insistently. "Mama's staying!"
"Chloe, Chloe I'm not -" but it was back, the dreaded puppy gaze. I clamped my mouth shut, genuinely afraid that I'd make this totally not at all adorable creature bawl her eyes out. "…going to…um…leave."
"I know!" she grinned again, cocking her head to the side. "You already said that silly!"
I groaned inwards, rolling my eyes on the outside. Stacie will have to handle rations then.
I sat onto the tangle of Amy and my clothing, still hand in hand with her as she began doing what normal six year olds do. Rambling nonsense and playing with almost every single possible thing within an arm's length. Only a couple of minutes had gone by until –I heard it. The sound of a bed creaking, and the yawn of none other than she-who-must-not-be-named. Chloe also heard it, pausing in her hushed chatting and looking up to me for instructions.
"Okay Chloe," I whispered to her. "Don't say a single word. Simple as that. Got it?"
She nodded her head, slapping a hand onto her mouth and peering back up to me. I gave her nod of approval, then slid over and reached out an arm to flick off the light. Then I was back next to Chloe, gently maneuvering my hands around her body until I had a firm grasp on her, lifting her and placing her into my lap. I scooted backwards, all the way until my back was against the wall with the feeling of hanging clothing obscuring my face. Incognito…
A few minutes later, the closet door was opened, light streaming in and blinding me for only a moment. I felt Chloe's arms tighten around my neck, as if she could sense my building stress.
"…elling timbeeerr –you better mov…"
She continued singing, shuffling around the area and nearly coming to touch my foot at one point but –thank goD –passing over it. Then the door was closed again, and I was able to breathe at last. We stayed in that position though, waiting until –at last –the door to the actual room itself was slammed shut.
Afterwards, we spoke.
"Mama?"
"Hm."
"Why are we in a closet?"
"Because it's comfy."
"Then why were we hiding from that lady?"
"Because she's scary."
"Then why…"
And the questions went on –and on –and on…
…
…
…
Stacie later called, giving us constant status reports on the house and its inhabitants. Soon she arrived with a box of pizza and some soda in which I disapprovingly accepted, claiming that soda at a young age was absolutely unacceptable. She ignored me of course, as did little Chloe herself. I ended up allowing it in the end. After this, Stacie guaranteed that she'd get everyone out of the house for the rest of the day. How you ask? I don't know. I also don't plan on finding out. Never doubt the will of Stacie is what's heard around in these parts of Barden.
Once Stacie left, and magically(?) along with everyone else, the house was free to roam at last. Chloe immediately ran to the bathroom, pausing at the door as she jumped up and down and yelling at me to "hurry up".
"For what?"
"I'm scared!"
Of course. I helped her onto the toilet, averting my eyes rightfully as she did her business. Why did I sign up for this again? Why isn't it Stacie here instead of me?
"Mama! Let's watch a movie!"
Oh yeah. "Mama". Eugh.
"Sure thing…sweetie." I almost snorted at the end of the jokingly used nickname –but the way her smile seemed to just radiate after that certain term was used…ugh…
"Mulan!"
"No."
"Pocahontas!"
"No."
"Lion King!"
"No."
"Would You Rather!"
"Yeesss…"
Shame on me? Psh, yeah. But c'mon! Chloe's been begging me to watch this trash for a good month now. So why not?
…
…
…
"Chloe?"
No response. I peered down at her, allowing only the faintest of a smile to cross my lips. So watching "Would You Rather" may have been a pretty stupid idea. Not even ten minutes into the movie and I had been suddenly tackled, a shivering bundle snuggling close into the folds of my sweater. Kick her off? was, yes, a considered though. But then again, it was kind of my fault. So yeah, I did maybe play on with it, smirking while wrapping an arm around her, stroking at her soft soft hair soothingly while the shrieks of the movie continued to ring throughout the time.
Movie was pretty crappy in the end.
By the time I looked at my phone, struggling with one arms while the other was hopelessly trapped in an embrace by "thine grace", it was around nine, nine-thirty. I wasn't necessarily tired, but then at the same time if I got up, I risked the possibility of waking up the peaceful ange-edeVIL. Devil. Tots not angel. Ew, gross. (*denial*)
A great sigh was then heaved, and I wordlessly settled in for the night. Not bad, supposed for a day that could have no doubt gone way worse. Chloe would wake up the same, and I would be able to totally shove this in her face. Everyone wins.
Before completely settling in, I –dare I do it –snapped a quick selfie of myself, grinning as I pointed to the sleeping toddler cuddled on my lap.
Wanted to make sure I had evidence to show Chloe this and all. Y'know, usual blackmail stuff and junk.
…
…
…
I woke up to boobs.
Highly, highly disturbing factor to wake up to if I may quickly add.
"Hi Beca."
And that was another thing. I felt a hand come underneath my chin, too groggy to really do anything, I allowed the hands to guide my vision upwards. Then Chloe's –normal thank GOD –beaming grin came into sight.
"Did we have sex last night or something?"
I can see where she got the idea from though. For one thing, she was still sitting atop my lap –straddling if you will and bringing on a now really heavy force that I'm just beginning to feel. Two, the only thing she's wearing is a shirt and an underwear, the only thing she really needed when in kid-form.
Immediately nonetheless, I could feel a flush rise up my cheeks, burning its way across my face as she continued to smile. With speedy movements, I quickly shoved her off my lap with a hard push. She went tumbling on her back to the other side of the couch, only chuckling while slowly propping herself up.
"Morning to you too woman," I grumbled out, looking away from her half naked form with a pout and instead directing my attention to the phone adjacent to my side. At once after entering the pass code, multiple snaps from the Bella-Bitches were notified, signifying a wild party had no doubt occurred over night.
"But seriously," her voice rang out again, bringing only another grunt from me. "If we didn't have sex last night…then what did happen? I honestly can't recall a single thing."
"You really want to know?" I mused on, grinning faintly as I pulled up the selfie from the night before.
"Well duh! This sense of amnesia is sort of freaking me out…"
Still grinning, I threw her the phone. She caught it, giving me a curious look before glancing at the screen.
One second –she was staring wide eyed at it, thousands of questions obviously written all over her expression. Three seconds –there was a giant rush of wind, blowing across my face until…
*poof*
There, staring at me with that damn sparkling gaze.
"Mama!"
"Oh foRFUCKSSAKE!"
._.