Hey everyone, I'm sorry I haven't been updating as much as I'd like to, but school has been really crazy right now with final exams, which obviously take priority. I'll be all done by next Tuesday, so I hopefully should be able to update more frequently after that on vacation! Anyway, please enjoy this chapter, I know it's shorter, but the next one will be much longer. Thank you for continuing to read this! Xxoo
I sat on one of the Temple's balconies, staring out over the Capitol. The air was too hot, too stagnant, and I felt uneasy. We had been here for several days now, and there was no news, nothing from Ozai. I knew that my friends and I were safe here, but for how long weighed heavily on my mind.
I was thinking about my mother, Kita. I hadn't allowed myself to do that since meeting with Ozai, and now I was back to square one. I had no way of contacting her family, or even finding her again. I had come so far, and had lost everything...
Not everything, I reminded myself. I got up and left the balcony, peering downwards into the courtyard below. My brother and Kateri were sitting closely together on the grass, relaxing and enjoying each other's company. The past several days had been especially hard on my brother, who had worked tirelessly at Etka's side to heal him. I owed everything to Naheel and Kateri; without them, Etka and I would not be alive.
"Anahi." I turned behind me and! saw Etka approaching me slowly, holding onto a staff for support. He had been recovering well, but was still very weak despite Naheel's rigorous healing sessions.
A smile spread across my face as he approached me, and I went to him. "How are you doing?" Etka asked, bending his neck and kissing my forehead. I wrapped my arms around his chest and looked up at him solemnly.
"I love you," I murmured quietly.
"I love you too," Etka assured me, his free hand wrapping around my waist. "Let's sit down."
"Of course," I released him and we slowly returned to my original spot at the balcony. Etka slowly eased down beside me, his staff still upright in his hand. He moved like an old man, and that frightened me.
"How's the pain?" I asked him placidly.
"Naheel has helped a lot," He said with a shy, boyish smile. "I'm not in a lot of pain if I don't exert myself and most of the wounds have scabbed over, but the scars will stay."
"That's good news," I smiled encouragingly.
"It is," Etka sighed, his expression fading as he looked out over the city. I saw his calm composure transform into a deep sadness and pain as he looked over his home. Our home. "Anahi, we can't stay here much longer," He said soberly.
"I know," I replied, watching him carefully. "But we need to wait until you've completely healed first before we try and leave the city."
"I'll be fine whenever we need to leave," Etka insisted, and I knew he was trying to be brave for me.
"We'll wait," I said firmly. "We can wait." I moved closer to him, nestling up in his arms and resting my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes, allowing myself to relax and feel safe again in his arms.
"I never wanted you to be hurt because of me," Etka said in a low voice, and I lifted my head.
"Etka?"
"I just...I wanted to leave with my honor intact," He confessed, and I stayed silent, realizing how important this was for him to admit. "That's why I went back to the Firelord. I...I wanted to keep my Captainship. I should have left with you and Naheel from the Temple. I never should have gone back." He paused, and I saw silent tears running down his face. I had seen him get emotional before, but this was the first I had seen him cry.
"I was stupid," He said bitterly. "Stupid! You, Naheel, Kateri, you all nearly died because of what I did!"
"Etka, no one blames you," I said firmly, trying to meet his eyes. "Do you hear me? We all understand...and we all would have done it again for you." I took his face in my hands, gently turning his head so that he met my eyes.
"I love you," I murmured, drawing him close to me. "Always. And all of this will be over soon." I planted a slow kiss on Etka's lips, and began to speak to him in a low, calming voice, filling up my paused with kisses.
"We're going to leave the Temple, in the dead of night where no one can see us," I said carefully. "And we're going to steal a little ship and sail to the Earth Kingdom, where we'll stop in a tiny little village. And we're going to disguise ourselves and then make our way down south and sail to the Southern Water Tribe. You can meet my parents and no one will have to know. No one will know where we've gone. We'll be invisible...free."
Etka was holding onto the front of my robes, clinging to me. "No more fear," I ran my hand through his now short, jagged hair, and wondered what they had done to him while he was imprisoned. "No more fear."
"No more fear," Etka repeated, taking a deep breath. He ran a sleeve over his eyes and sighed, pulling away from me and straightening up. I watched as he collected himself, transforming from the broken, terrified boy I was now familiar with to the brave, composed Captain Song. I remembered our first kiss, Etka holding me in his arms in the moonlit garden. I wanted to ask him for that again, I longed to be held, but I had to be the strong one now.
Etka gripped his staff tightly and he struggled to push himself off the ground, grimacing in pain. I reached out to help him stand, and with one hand, Etka waved me away, silently enduring the struggle until he was on his feet again.
"I wanted to tell you something," I said quietly, as we left the balcony together, making our way slowly down the stairs. I took Etka's arm, holding onto him tightly. I waited until we reached the ground floor, just before the courtyard where Naheel and Kateri were sitting together.
"After what happened with your rescue, I did some horrific things," I told him quietly, bowing my head. "I lost myself to anger and grief, and I lashed out. I killed...a lot of people, and after that, I promised myself never to use my bending again."
Etka's mouth dropped open, his face betraying his shock. "What?" He asked breathlessly.
"I'm destructive," I looked up at him, my face firm, resolved. "And I let my emotions control me when I bend. The last thing that I would ever want would to be for you to get hurt if I lost control."
"Anahi..." Etka looked as though I had slapped him across the face. "Firebending is a part of who you are - "
"And you know who gave me my bending," I returned evenly, and he withdrew. "I will never be like him. I have to give up my bending."
Etka looked hurt, and I realized that he too was remembering the months he had spent teaching me, training me. I reached up and touched his cheek. "This is through no fault of your own," I told him gently. "I just don't have your self control. This is for the best, Etka."
"If this is what you want," He said quietly. "I won't stop you." Etka reached for my hand, weaving his fingers in between mine. I squeezed his hand.
I looked at him gratefully. "Thank you," I murmured, and looked over towards Naheel and Kateri, who had both stood and were walking over towards us.
"Hello," Kateri smiled welcomingly at us. "Etka, it's good to see you walking more."
"Thank you," Etka bowed his head respectfully to her. "It feels good to be up again."
"How's the pain?" Naheel asked Etka good-naturedly, and I remembered in amusement how they had barely gotten along upon first meeting. Perhaps our hardships had drawn us more closely together.
"How are you feeling?" Kateri drew me aside, away from Etka and Naheel.
"I'm doing alright," I said, but in my heart, I knew that it was a lie. Late at night, my panicked mind would revisit the scene of my destruction, burning bodies collapsing and falling under my wrath, the harrowing sound of the soldier's screams as they burned alive. I would wake up in a cold sweat, my heart pounding out of my chest. It would take hours for me to calm myself down again.
Kateri gave me a doubtful look. "Are you...dealing with everything alright?" She asked hesitantly.
"I told you, I'm fine," I replied firmly. We all had enough problems to deal with. I didn't want anyone to worry about me. "Shall we go get something to eat?"
"That sounds like a good idea," Naheel turned to me, and then the world exploded.
I was caught across the chest by a flying chunk of splintered wood, torn off of a banister and was thrown back against the ground.
"Anahi!" Etka bellowed, his cry guttural and harrowed. He dropped the jet of fire he had conjured to protect us and hobbled as fast as he could towards me, collapsing by my feet.
I had hit my head, and my vision split into two. Etka was circling around another version of himself. Behind him, flames were beginning to engulf the Temple's walls. Far away, I heard screaming.
"Anahi! Stay with me! Look at me!" He cried, grabbing me by the shoulders. I saw Kateri fall to her knees beside me, electricity glowing at her fingertips and look across at Etka, her eyes full of worry.
"They're here for her," She said. "The Fire Nation army is coming for Anahi."