The Inquisitor's Ghost

Chapter 5 – The Passion in Compassion

With passion'd breath does the darkness creep

It is the whisper in the night, the lie upon your sleep

Transfigurations 1:5

"Cole? Cole!" he was awakened by someone shaking his shoulders. His eyes fluttered open and he got up slowly and brushed himself off.

"Are you alright?" she asked with concern.

"I think so," he answered.

"You were having a nightmare," she supplied in a low voice. "You were screaming." She bit her lip. "Who's… who's Bunny?" she asked softly after a long pause. "You were screaming her name while you slept."

"She was my little sister."

Ember shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Did something happen to her?"

Cole hesitated. "Yes."

Ember tucked a bright red curl behind her ear. "You can tell me. It might help."

Cole looked away from her to stare off into the distance, eyes glazed as if seeing something that wasn't there. "My family brings up pain, old pain that lingers just beneath the surface of my skin."

"You can trust me," Ember replied gently, repeating the words he'd said to her the day before.

Cole kept his gaze averted as he replied, "Mother was gentle and kind, yellow inside like a ray of sunlight. Bunny was the same, though inside she was green, like the color of fresh spring leaves."

"And your father?"

A muscle worked in Cole's jaw. "Father was black on the inside. His fists spoke of his rage as he used them on us, his lips cursing us, 'Maker take you and your foul magic!'"

Ember swallowed. "W-What happened?"

Cole hesitated, his expression pained. "I don't want to go back in the cupboard on the bad day."

"What bad day?"

Ember watched his eyes take on an unfocused look, as if he was remembering something in his past and when he spoke he spoke as if he was somewhere else, some other time."'Hide!' Mama whispers urgently to me. 'Take your sister and hide! Don't make a sound!' I'm twelve-years-old and I'm taking Bunny in my arms. She's only six and she doesn't understand but she's afraid. She's crying because she's so afraid. I get in the cupboard and hide. Hide, like I always did when his fists needed someone to take his rage."

Ember gasped. "Sweet Andraste…"

"I get in the cupboard. It's small and it's cramped. 'Cole, you little bastard! You think you can hide from me forever?' I hear him yell. In the cupboard, I hold Bunny in a crushing grip with one hand clamped over her mouth to keep her quiet. 'Don't make a sound,' I whisper to her. 'Hold your breath. For just a moment, we won't even exist'. I hear him searching for us. 'Cole, come out and die like a man!' He is screaming. 'You know what the punishment is!' While he looks for us my hand remains clamped over Bunny's mouth to keep her quiet. Only… only she is dead." Cole's voice was faint, aching with pain.

Ember's throat tightened around a sob. Cole was shaking, fighting against sobs that threatened to overwhelm him. His eyes flickered to hers and Ember winced, her heart wrenching as she caught a glimpse of a soul tormented by a deep sorrow.

"Bunny was crying, so I covered her mouth with my hand so he wouldn't hear," Cole explained in a tiny voice. "Mama told us to be quiet. I only wanted her to be quiet."

Ember's hand flew to her mouth, tears welling in her eyes. "Oh Maker…"

"He finds me," Cole continued, his eyes growing ravaged and tortured as he returned to the bad day. "He finds me in the cupboard with my dead sister in my arms. He rips her from me and throws her to the dogs as if she is garbage. His front is covered in blood not of his own, but of mother's. He looks me up and down. 'You're worthless,' he sneers. 'A mistake I should have drowned long ago. You've evil in you, boy, passed down by your mother. You'll pay the price just as she did.' He's going to kill me this time. I know it. The dagger is in my hand. I don't know how. 'I won't let you hurt Mama anymore,' I tell him. I hurt so much I see only red, breath only red. 'I'll stop you'."

Cole looked down at his hands that were trembling. "I move faster then he thinks I can. The blade pierces his flesh. Blood is running red and warm between my fingers as I slide the blade into his throat and it exits out the back. We're free. I freed us. Only the only one who is free is me."

Ember could only stare at him, her heart breaking at the look of desolate agony that shadowed his face, the harrowing guilt that filled his eyes. She wanted to ease his pain but didn't know how.

"I… I killed my little sister." His voice cracked on the last word. "I-I didn't mean to do it. It was an accident. I didn't want him to find her. I didn't want her to get hurt. I was trying to protect her. I was trying to…" His voice caught on a broken sob and faded to nothing. Every inch of his face was carved with anguish and remorse, his fingers clutching the metal bars that separated them so tight his knuckles had turned white. He was shaking, violently, his shoulders jerking sharply as if he were crying, but he made no sound and there were no tears.

Without thinking, Ember leaned forward and reached through the bars to wrap her arms around him. Cole immediately clutched at her, holding her tightly, his arms gripping her almost painfully and she could feel him trembling. Ember held him to her, stroked his hair, and murmured soothing words to him as though he were a child. He clung to her, holding her, clutching, almost as though he were afraid she would leave him.

Cole murmured her name as he buried his face in her neck as best he could with the bars blocking him, his chin on her shoulder. He didn't seem so odd now, so otherworldly, with his strangeness and haunted eyes. Right now he seemed like a sweet, lonely little boy who needed her. Ember whispered soft, comforting words before kissing the top of his head as he nestled closer to her.

After a long time, the awful shaking stopped. Ember caressed his temple, smoothing his hair back from his face, and smiled at him. Cole's eyes slowly opened into hers, the liquid blue depths of his eyes were deep enough to drown in.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Of course." She smiled at him and ran a hand through his unruly blonde hair, watching as it flopped back to the messy mop on top of his head to hang into his eyes. "What are friends for?"

Fear entered his eyes as he moved out of her arms. "I'm afraid."

Her head tilted. "Of what?"

"I'm afraid you'll forget me."

"Never," she assured him.

His eyes turned sorrowful. "Everyone else does."

She gave him a lopsided grin. "I am not everyone else."

"No, you're not," Cole answered in a low, rasping voice, looking at her as if he could see pieces of herself she'd thought she'd hidden from the world. "You are something else entirely."

Ember held his gaze for seconds that seemed to stretch and twist into something more. "What am I?" she found herself asking.

"You are bright, white-hot light." Cole pointed a finger at himself, eyes downcast. "In me is dark. Your light pushes the darkness until in me is bright."

Her face pinched with confusion and she shook her head. "I don't understand."

His eyes left hers before returning. "You hear but you don't see."

"Help me understand," she replied a little breathlessly.

"When I look at you…" Cole paused, searching for the right words. "…I see light shining, bright and twinkling, elusive and distant." Cole moved closer to her. "I am… drawn to it. To you," he murmured, his raspy voice the softest and huskiest she'd ever heard it.

Time suddenly seemed to halt, the very air vibrating with a blazing tension. His eyes glittered in a way she'd never seen before. There was a strange and unfamiliar thrum in her heart as those eyes spoke of things she wasn't certain she could handle. He looked like he had wanted to… to…

Ember tore her gaze away from his and stared down at the metal bars that separated them, her heart galloping in her chest. In the lengthening silence she could hear the drip of water from the stone ceiling and the sobs of the imprisoned mages around her. She could feel his gaze on her, felt the heat of it, burning away every layer until she felt raw and exposed.

She saw his feet step into her view and she was suddenly conscience of the powerful physical awareness she felt at his nearness. She didn't move away, though she knew she should. His overpowering presence was making her dizzy, unable to think rationally, as if he was using magic.

He shifted in front of her, his hand moving slightly. Her pounding heart leapt into her throat and became lodged there as his hand reached through the bars and settled on her hip.

Her eyes dropped to the milky-white, very male hand touching her, burning her skin through her black cloth pants. His fingers flexed on her hipbone and her sharp inhale was a ragged thing, every muscle in her body clenching.

"Look into my eyes," she heard him say in a low, husky tone that resonated to some deeper place inside of her that she hadn't known existed until this moment.

She stared at his boots, the air around them suddenly thick and heavy with unseen tension, almost as if millions of tiny electrical currents had suddenly ignited all around them. She was keenly aware of his proximity, of what his nearness and touch were doing to her - a primitive, entirely feminine response of her own body.

"Look into my eyes," he repeated, and she was immediately conscious of the subtle change in his voice. The rasping tone stroked across her skin like a caress.

Unable to do anything else, her eyes slowly dragged up his leather-clad torso, his throat, his chin to meet his eyes. Their gazes locked, and the intensity she found there stole her breath away. Cole was staring down at her. Keenly. Unblinking. The entirety of his attention was focused on her, his eyes deep and penetrating.

He took a step toward her, pressing against the bars, getting as close as he could, inhaling the air around him that carried her scent.

Ember exhaled a shuttering breath, her heart a fluttering mess.

Something inscrutable passed in his eyes before his fingertips moved slightly, the lightest of caresses on her hip.

That tiny caress sent every nerve in her body aflame, sharpening all of her senses. She remained motionless as his fingertips began to stroke her hip, the dark glint in his eyes mesmerizing her into paralysis.

Ember heard a shallow panting and realized it was the sound of her own breathing as his fingers trailed up her side, over her hip, to curl around her waist causing heat to spread through her belly. His grip tightened on her waist and he pulled her closer, dragging her to him until she was pressed against the metal bars.

Her body fairly hummed at the feel of his firm male contours pressing against her through the metal bars. She knew she should pull away, yet an unnamable something held her transfixed as his hand slowly trailed all the way up her side until he was cupping the back of her neck, and she focused on the way his breathing had changed - becoming faster, deeper.

His eyes flickered down to her mouth before immediately returning to her eyes, a strange heat suddenly reflected in their depths. Her lips parted on their own accord, and she was suddenly conscious of an odd yearning deep within her.

His fingers were warm and strong and firm as they tightened on the nape of her neck and then he was pulling her toward him, dragging her inexorably, relentlessly closer to him, his gaze never leaving hers as he drew her to him.

She was breathless and unsteady as she stared spellbound, unable to surface from the sea of blue eyes in which she swam. With her heart battering her ribs, she laid her palm on his chest. The bunched muscle beneath her hand felt rock-hard, like stone, but the rapid beating of his heart told her he was very much alive in there. Drawn by an urge more powerful than reason, she tilted her chin up in silent invitation. Never had she felt such wild anticipation mixed with abject panic as his lips descended, closer, until their mouths where almost touching.

He abruptly paused, his lips hovering over hers, almost touching, as if he were afraid of what would happen. She exhaled unevenly and he breathed in, taking her breath deep into his lungs before bringing her across the last scant inches separating them.

Cole's lips found hers, for only a second - a light brush of his bottom lip against her top. But even though the touch was as light as a feather and for only a brief moment in time, a firework of sparks and flames broke out along her skin, zipping through her body like a raging inferno of scorching heat and tingles, and she thought she would die from the incredible sensations.

Cole's lips abruptly left hers, but instead of disengaging and moving away, his lips hovered above hers, his face contorted as if in pain.

Her lungs struggled for oxygen, adrenaline pumping hard and heavy through her as they stood there, unmoving, breathing each other's air. She couldn't think. Couldn't speak. Could barely breathe. The part of her that was needy and lonely wanted that kiss again, wanted it with a longing that was almost frightening. And she seemed incapable of stopping herself.

She lifted her chin and softly caught his bottom lip between her lips. A warmth like no other began to gather at the pit of her stomach before slowly spreading out to her limbs in a trail of fire. She lingered there for a moment before she pulled away ever so slightly, brushed her mouth against his and captured his upper lip. He tasted as she imagined moonlight would taste - smooth and mysterious, a hint of the darkness on the other side.

His mouth pressed back against hers awkwardly. They were both unsure of what they were doing, neither having done this before, the metal bars between them making it difficult. Acting on pure instinct, she tilted her head and slanted her lips across his as best she could with the bars preventing her movements.

He tightened his fingers behind her neck as his lips parted hers, opening them beneath. She gasped then sighed into his mouth and he stole her breath as his own. Beneath her hand, his heart thundered so hard it seemed to be in rhythm with her own. With every breath that passed from her lips to his it felt as if he claimed more of her soul.

Electricity crackled around them while something strong and vital flowed between them. His free hand pressed against the small of her back, as if he needed her to be closer, and the feel of his fingers on her bare skin sent a bolt of lightning streaking through her so fierce it left her trembling. A tingling, treacherous heat was snaking along her skin and gathering in places that, until now, she hardly knew existed. She could feel her body burst into life in a way she'd never felt before and a tiny whimper of pleasure glided unbidden from her throat before she could hold it in.

At the soft whimper, Cole's mouth became hot and urgent, and even in her innocence, Ember could feel the raw hunger in him. His hand dragged up the skin of her neck and into the nape of her hair. He tilted her head back, deepening the kiss. The hitch in her breath became ragged, gasping. She couldn't seem to catch her breath. She was drowning. Drowning in him.

In desperate need of air, she slowly pulled away. His lips held on until the last possible moment, loathed to separate, until finally disconnecting with a breathy sigh of instant regret.

He pulled back slightly to look down at her. Her hand trailed off his chest. She studied his face, watched his eyes blink open, almost as if he were stunned. He seemed barely to be breathing. She wasn't sure she was breathing either.

Her mouth opened to say something, to say anything, but no words came out. Her heart lodged in her throat when he reached between the bars and took a russet curl between his fingers. He slowly brought the curl up to his lips. She swallowed hard as his eyes fluttered closed and he inhaled the scent of her hair, his black lashes casting fine shadows against the curve of his ivory cheekbones. He expelled an uneven breath, as if straining for willpower, tension in his jaw. His eyes slowly opened and she saw a flicker of something in those deep blue orbs - something dark, potent, and hungry.

And then just like that, Cole faded away.

The curl he'd had pressed against his lips fell against her cheek, and Ember staggered back to lean against the stone wall of her cell and let out an explosive breath she'd been holding in. Shakily, she raised a hand to her chest, trying to calm the frantic rhythm of her heart. A dozen conflicting emotions warred within her, the attraction she felt for him so forceful as to be almost tangible. But the feelings he'd created within her were so… intense… almost unnatural.

Ember stared into the darkness Cole had disappeared into. Her eyebrows drew together, her mouth pressing thin with worry as she remembered what Malcolm Hawke had taught her.

When a demon comes, Ember, it won't seem harmful at first. It'll be something to make you curious until later when it begins to corrupt you.

Before she could contemplate Malcolm's words, a cruel voice echoed ominously in her small cell. "It's time, little she-devil."

Ember turned her gaze to the short templar with the long brown hair standing in front of her cell, his arm in a sling.

André smiled cruelly at her. "It's time to make you Tranquil."

Author's Note: Poor Cole. The first time I read about Cole's background in the book Dragon Age: Asunder, I almost cried. Cole even mentions being in the cupboard on the bad day in Dragon Age 3 in one of the first conversations you have with him.