Author's Note:

Dear readers and reviewers,

You make me so happy even though I am terribly overwhelmed with life and school. Thank you. But really. Every review makes me grin like an idiot and gives me much-needed temporary reprieve from my stressing over things and stuff.
Thank you for putting up with my sporadic updating schedule.

Much love,

Me

Kahoko woke earlier than usual, but memories of her nightmare kept her from going back to sleep. Not knowing what else to do, she got ready and went to school, arriving forty-five minutes before class was scheduled to begin.

Well, Kahoko thought, I guess I can go practice for a bit.

She stopped by her locker to drop off her books and was surprised to see Tsuchiura leaning against the wall. He looked lost in thought, but he perked up when he saw her approaching.

"Hey Tsuchiura," Kahoko said, giving him a nod before turning to open her locker.

"Hey," he mumbled. "Listen, uh, about last night…"

Kahoko's thoughts automatically went to the dream and she shuddered. It was all in your head. It didn't really happen, she reminded herself.

She placed her schoolbooks in the locker and closed the door, blushing as she belatedly realized Tsuchiura was talking about the kiss. "Oh," she finally replied. "Oh, don't worry about it." She started toward the music department, and Tsuchiura followed, walking beside her.

"Too late," he said. "I am worrying about it. I want to talk to you."

"Now?" Kahoko asked.

He sighed. "No, Kahoko. I got to school an hour early on a whim. I just happened to be waiting by your locker by coincidence. Yes, now." He winced. "Sorry, that was rude. I'm just a little . . . you know . . . what I meant was yes, if that's okay with you."

Kahoko nodded. Tsuchiura seemed nervous, a trait she wasn't used to associating with him. It seems like he's more bothered by this than I am, she thought, but brushed aside any further analysis of the situation. She'd done her crying last night, she didn't want to stress over past events any more than was necessary. It would probably do them both good to talk about what had happened, anyway. "Sure," she agreed, "but did you really want to talk here?"

The halls of the Music Department were already fairly crowded. Students were everywhere, trying to get some early morning practice in, meeting up with members of various ensembles, or just standing around conversing.

"Um . . ." Tsuchiura scanned the hallway to see if there was a corner somewhere that wasn't occupied. "We can go somewhere more private?"

"Well," Kahoko held up her violin case, "I was hoping to get some practice in this morning, but we can just use the room to talk in."

He nodded. "Okay."

They dropped any further conversation until they had found an empty room and closed the door behind them. Tsuchiura walked up to the piano and ran his fingers tentatively across the keys, quietly picking out a melody. Kahoko waited for him to begin the conversation.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry," he finally said. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable or if I did something that would compromise our friendship. I should have asked you first."

Kahoko fought the urge to sigh. "I told you that it was okay."

"I don't believe you." He stopped playing and closed the piano lid. "I feel like you're just saying that because you're you. You don't stand up for yourself often enough."

"Tsuchiura, really—"

"No." He turned away from the piano and faced her. "I can tell by the way you reacted. You weren't okay with it. You practically ran away from me last night."

Kahoko fell silent. She wasn't sure how to respond to that accusation. Yeah Tsuchiura, I actually don't know how I feel. You're a nice guy, but it's just that I'm kind of with Yunoki right now. I mean, he's thousands of miles away, but we've been sleeping together, so I guess that makes me his girlfriend. Or something. Point is, I'm not completely available. "I'm not upset that you kissed me," she finally mumbled.

"I know you're just saying that to make me feel better." He shrugged. "Anyway, that was the main thing. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone from now on if you want." He moved toward the door.

"Tsuchiura, wait," Kahoko blurted.

He paused and looked over at her. "Yeah?"

Kahoko felt the heat rising in her cheeks. "You're my friend, Tsuchiura. You've helped me through a lot. I don't want that friendship to have to end because of this."

He laughed, but there was little humor in his voice. "Me either. I'm sorry that I ruined all of that."

Kahoko started to reach toward him, but pulled her arm back quickly. "What can I do to convince you that it isn't ruined?"

Tsuchiura sighed and turned away from the door. "It's not a matter of convincing, Kaho. You know how I feel now. I lo—I care about you. A lot. More than just as a friend. Because of that, I don't know if I can go back to things they were the way before. I'm sorry."

"But what if—"

Tsuchiura cut her off and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Kahoko." He turned again toward the door.

"Wait."

Kahoko didn't pause to think about what she was going to do. On impulse, she stepped forward, and when Tsuchiura turned toward her voice, she reached up and kissed him. It was very brief, but after taking a moment to recover from his shock, Tsuchiura smiled. He pulled her against him and claimed another, taking his time and drawing it out until they both had to come up for air.

Kahoko had difficulty arranging her thoughts into coherent sentences when she broke away from the kiss. "I—I—" she stammered, "I need to go to—to class."

Without so much as a goodbye, she grabbed her violin case and left the room.

Tsuchiura stared at the door in surprise for a few moments after she left.

Kahoko slumped down into her seat with a groan and laid her head on her desk.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did you have to kiss him, Kahoko? Now he's going to think—

"Hey Kahoko, are you okay?" Mio asked.

Kahoko groaned internally. Now was not a good time to be getting "advice" from Mio.

She regained her composure and sat up with a smile. "I'm just tired. I didn't sleep very well last night."

Mio looked concerned. "Oh! Are you sick?"

Kahoko shook her head. "No, I just . . . I just had a strange dream."

Nao sat down beside them. "What's up?" she asked.

"Kaho's troubled," Mio answered.

"No, no, I'm fine, Mio! You're overreacting."

Mio shook her head gravely. "No, Kahoko, I can tell. Something's wrong."

Nao frowned. "I don't trust most of the silliness Mio spouts, but she is pretty intuitive sometimes. Are you okay?"

Kahoko shrugged. "I'm just a little tired, is all—"

"Is it a boy, Kaho?" Mio asked.

Kahoko sat up straight. "What? No! Why would you assume that?"

Mio fiddled with her pencil. "I head a rumor that you were seen with Tsuchiura earlier this morning."

Kahoko couldn't help it. She blushed beet red. "Did they say what we were doing together?"

"Ha! I knew it!" Mio shouted.

Nao raised an eyebrow. "What were you doing with Tsuchiura, Kahoko?"

Kahoko sighed. There was no way around these two once their got their scent on something. "He um . . . he kissed me," Kahoko finally whispered.

Nao's eyes widened and Mio opened her mouth to exclaim something, but Kahoko held up her hands. "Not this morning," she blurted. "I mean . . . that . . . too . . . but it was last night when he did it. The first time."

Kahoko could feel the heat of the blush on her face. Nothing she was trying to say was coming out right. She took a deep breath. "Let me try again." She glanced around the room to make sure no one else was standing within earshot. "He walked me home last night after a date. He kissed me, and I kind of panicked and ran inside. This morning he wanted to—to apologize."

"For kissing you?" Mio squealed. "But he's so good-looking! Who in their right mind would mind—"

"It's was because of how I reacted, Mio. He thought I ran away because I was upset or angry at him."

"Why did you run away, Kahoko?" Nao asked.

Kahoko sighed. "I don't really know. I—I'm just confused, I guess."

"Confused?" Mio asked. "What's there to be confused about? A totally dreamy guy took you on a date and then kissed you!" She sighed. "It's so romantic!"

Nao shook her head. "Did you want him to kiss you, Kahoko? Were you expecting it?"

Kahoko shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I was hoping—"

"That he would?" Mio finished.

Kahoko shook her head. "That he wouldn't. I was hoping that we were just growing closer as friends. I didn't expect anything else."

"But then this morning . . ." Nao prompted.

Kahoko sighed. "Yeah, this morning was my fault. He was so convinced that he'd done something wrong and that we couldn't be friends anymore. I didn't know what to say, so I . . . just . . . I kissed him."

Nao sighed. "And you said that you weren't sure whether or not you wanted this?"

Kahoko groaned. "I know, I know. It was stupid. Now he probably thinks—"

"Well Kaho," Mio interrupted, "I know it may sound like I'm just being silly, but don't you want that? I mean, you've been practically inseparable from Tsuchiura the past couple of weeks. I thought you two were going to start dating sooner or later."

Nao nodded. "She has a point."

Kahoko shook her head. She couldn't tell them about Yunoki. That was something that she had to keep to herself. But if they didn't know about Yunoki . . . Azuma, she corrected herself, then winced mentally for switching to his given name when she was only thinking about him.

"Kahoko," Nao asked, "is there any reason why you shouldn't date Tsuchiura?"

Kahoko fell silent. Several seconds ticked by as she considered her answer.

"I don't know," she finally said.