Chapter Thirteen
The Legend of Old Gregg
Salem ran inside the shop, ducking behind the couch that Naboo and Bollo were sitting on. Naboo looked over his shoulder at the girls strange behavior. Vince and Howard followed her in shortly after.
"How did it go?" Naboo asked.
"Best, gig, ever." Vince said, sounding very optimistic. Salem crawled out from behind the couch and into her room, quickly packing a small bag of clothes and things she would need.
"Yea, Vince was pulling shapes left and right. Salem putting us in the best lights possible." Howard said. At that moment, a brick flew through the window with one of the fliers for their bands concert taped to it.
"What the hell was that?" Naboo asked.
"Well, there may have been a few people who didn't quite understand what we were going for." Howard said, Vince nodding in agreement.
"It looks more like 500." Bollo said, peeking out the window.
"So, see you in a few days." Vince said, running to pack his things. The sounds of a riot were becoming louder as Salem came out of her room with a weeks worth of clothing and supplies.
"Better make it a week." Naboo yelled at the retreating men.
The car ride was a bit boring. The men argued back and forth over being 'white', causing Salem to roll her eyes at the jokes.
"If you ask me, you're both as white as a ghost." She interjected. They glanced back at her.
"What are you going on about? You're practically mayonnaise." Vince shot.
"At least I have a flavor." She shot back. Vince smiled at the witty girls come back and turned back around, while Howard let a smile creep across his face.
The trio arrived at a local fishermans pub. The music stopped playing the moment they walked in, making an awkward silence cover the area. The bar keep placed a coin in a box, turning the crank making the music and merriment return to the pub.
Salem looked around as the men went to order a drink, and maybe some food. Spotting an older man, she cautiously approached him.
"Excuse me, sir." She said, catching the mans attention immediately. He roamed his eyes over her quickly.
"Aye, lass. How may I help ye?" He said smiling. She smiled back. The man gestured for her to sit down and she complied.
"I was wandering if there was any kind of lore around these parts. I'm traveling with some companions of mine, who have a knack for getting into trouble." She said politely.
The man nodded and took a drink of what appeared to be meal worms. Salem inwardly cringed, but kept a straight and smiling face, trying to charm the older man into revealing the information she wanted.
"Aye, lass. There be several legends from around these parts, but the most dangerous of them, is Ol' Gregg." He said, taking another swig of his drink.
"Would you care to fill me in?" She asked sweetly. The man eyed her once more before nodding.
"Aye." He replied, spinning the tale of the half man, half fish, maybe a 70/30 mixed creature, that only came out during a full moon in black lake. He told her of the rumors about the legend, as well as some stories he had heard. Salem listened with interest.
"Thank you, sir. Here, buy another drink on me." She said, placing some money on the table and leaving.
Salem scanned the pub for her friends, finding them sitting at a table talking to another sailor.
"... Black lake. The wind in your hair, you and your lady friend can have yourselves a good time." She caught the end of the mans description of the lake.
"Gentlemen" She greeted, walking up to her friends and taking a seat between them. The men smiled in greeting at her.
"How do you like fishing, Salem?" Howard asked. Salem internally groaned.
"I don't mind fishing, but I was just told by a nice older fisherman that-" She started.
"Great, let's go then." Howard said, he and Vince standing and leaving. She sighed and followed the pair out the door.
The trio sat in the boat with their lines cast over the side. Salem sat between the two men. Listening as Howard talked about not catching a fish for the first 3 months when he had first started. Vince was catching them left and right, Howard growing frustrated.
"You know what the problem is Howard?" Vince asked.
"No, what?" Howard replied.
"You're too white. The fish, they know you're white, that's why they won't bite." Vince said, poking fun at Howard. Salem rolled her eyes, knowing where this was going.
The men started arguing, ending the fight with Howard throwing a blow up dingy at Vince. Vince began to blow it up. Salem took pity on him.
"Here, I'll help you." She said, taking the raft from him and inhaling deeply. She blew for 40 minutes on one breath.
"Wow..." was all the men could muster out of their mouths.
"Isn't there a foot pump or anything?" Vince asked.
"Oh, yea. Here." Howard said, handing the pump to Vince.
Salem chose to stay with Howard, knowing Vince would make it back safely by leaving when he did.
"So, Salem. Do you like fishing?" He asked. She smiled and nodded.
"Yes, though I'm not use to these poles." She said, staring at the strange tool she held before her.
"Oh?" He asked.
"Yea, I was raised by animals. I'm use to catching them with my hands, or using a sharp stick to impale them." She said with a wide smile. Howard paled at the mental image of her, impaling a fish with a stick. A nervous laugh left his throat. She smiled at him.
"This is a nice trip, Howard. It's calming, in a strange sort of way." She said, staring out upon the lake. Howard took this moment to take a mental photograph of her silhouette in the moonlight and the reflections off the water. His thoughts were interrupted when a thick fog suddenly appeared, with a tug on his line.
Salem got behind him and started helping him pull in what they thought would be a fish. A strange, scaly green man appeared in the boat. He had bright red lips, and seaweed for hair. He wore a white jacket and a pink tulle mini skirt.
"What are you doing on my lake?" He asked. Howard pushed Salem back further behind him.
"Just enjoying the night." Howard said. Howard tried to be brave as the strange man began questioning them on their life styles. Something about going to a club where they relieved themselves on other people and how he was going to hurt them, but liked them.
"He's Old Gregg." Salem said into Howards ear. That's when the man stood up.
I'm Old Gregg!" He screamed lifting the pink skirt and flashing the pair, with a blinding light they passed out.
Vince walked into the pub, carrying the fish that had thrown themselves at him. They listened to his tale.
"It was dark, the moon was full. I was out fishing on black lake..." Vince started, when the pub went silent.
"You should never go out on black lake during a full moon." One of the fishermen said, beginning the tale of Old Gregg. Vinces' face took on a look of shock and worry. Excusing himself, he went to the telephone and called Naboo.
He talked quietly to Naboo about how the trip was going. Naboo kept asking if something was wrong, or what Vince needed. Just as Naboo was about to hang up, Vince confessed to Howard and Salem being in trouble with the fish man.
"Alright, stay where you are, and We'll be there in about half an hour." Naboo said.
"Alright, thanks Naboo, you're a diamond." Vince answered hanging up the phone.
Salem and Howard awoke in a cave, tied up.
"Who are you?" Howard asked.
"I'm Old Gregg." Old Gregg answered.
"What do you want?" Howard asked. The answer coming back inaudibly.
"Where are we?" Howard asked. Old Gregg appeared from behind a rock.
"Greggs' place." He said. The pair stood up as Old Gregg began bouncing around the cave.
"You want some Baileys?" He offered to Howard, Salem continued to look for an escape route. Old Gregg began questioning Howard on love and how he felt about him.
"Do you think you could ever love me?" Old Gregg asked. Howard cringed with disgust, and began calling him desperate and pathetic. Old Gregg shrugged, pointing to an old boyfriend of his, mounted on the wall like a prized fish. Howard quickly back tracked on his comments, apologizing.
"Who's your lady friend?" Old Gregg asked.
"She's just an old friend from a while back." Howard said, noticing Old Gregg eying her with contempt.
"You think she's prettier than I am?" Old Gregg asked, Howard knew he had to be smart about this and shook his head.
"No." He replied, causing Old Gregg to smile.
Naboo had finally reached Vince, arriving in a submarine to go in search of the missing pair.
"Can you cut the smoking back, I can hardly breath in here." Vince complained. Naboo didn't pay attention.
"How are we even going to find them?" Vince asked.
"Captain Bollo's in charge of radar, what's it say Bollo?" Naboo asked. Bollo grunted as Vince walked over to the ape.
"It's not even on radar, he's playing pac man." Vince said.
"Oh, let me see it. Go left!" Naboo said walking over to his familiar, getting distracted by the game.
"Go for the cherries! The cherries!" Vince said, getting distracted as well.
Salem sat by a rock, peering out at the watery tunnel she had found. She looked behind her, seeing Old Gregg and Howard in a romantic candle lit dinner for two setting. She suppressed her laughter, turning her attention to the tunnel. She stood up and crept into the water as close to the passage as she could.
She took a deep breath an dove downward, swimming along the underground pathway. It took about ten minutes to swim through it and to the surface of the lake. Salem smiled, taking a breath and swimming back through it, a plan for escape forming in her head.
Salem surfaced in the cave and crept back over to the rock. She listened to the conversation the odd pair were having about the funk and marriage. Howard was desperate to get out of the cave, and reluctantly agreed to marry the fish man. Salem held back a laugh at how easily he was tricked and slowly crept over to Howards side of the table, hiding herself under the cloth as Old Gregg slipped a ring on Howards finger.
"Old Gregg's gonna pick me out a wedding dress!" The fish man exclaim happily, and ran off.
"Howard." Salem said, popping her head out from under the table.
"Salem, where have you been and why are you all wet?" He asked.
"I found a way out, but you'll need to find something to make an air pocket out of." She said, standing up. She eyed the plastic table cover and smiled. Working quickly she found the ropes that had restrained them both earlier and made a parachute like contraption.
"You are handy, aren't you?" Howard said in admiration, about to step into the water. A submarine appeared from the tunnel, the hatch opening to reveal Vince, Naboo and Bollo coming to their rescue.
The duo was happy to see them, Howard quickly grabbed the funk and ran into the submarine. Vince watched as Salem climbed in. Her clothes were soaked, and clung to her body tightly, her skin was going pale and clammy from the cool air of the cave.
"Why are you all wet?" Vince asked.
"You came here... Just as I had found a way to escape." She said lowly for only him to here, taking a dramatic pause to mess with the man she had found herself becoming attracted to.
She smiled as Vinces' face turned red at the statement. Vince wrapped her in a towel they had aboard the ship and sat her down.
Salem ran the multi-colored lights, as the trio of men and gorilla played some funky music, all wearing some form of red. She danced to the music, like the crowd below her. She stopped, noticing the crowd of women, nearly throwing themselves at Vince. She found some of the women below quite beautiful, and looked over in the reflective surface of one of the mirror balls.
Examining herself closely, the insecurities of being a woman set in. She found herself cute, but no where near the blonde bombshells below her. She gave a sigh.
"I love him, so, I guess, I am ready to love him from a distance, as long as it makes him happy." She thought to herself smiling down at Vince as he looked up and gave her a wink. She smiled and winked back, a tinge of pink on her cheeks.