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04: At Arms Length

"...So maybe we can heal each other

Maybe this won't hurt forever

I don't wanna push you away

I don't wanna hold you at arm's length

I don't wanna push you away

It's just a knee jerk reaction..."

-At Arms' Length, Plumb

I rolled over in my bed and stared at my alarm clock. I sniffled before blowing my nose.

How the heck can you catch a cold overnight?

Then again, it could be worse.

I thought back to last night; Danny finding me when I had just cut myself. I felt my cheeks burn and I covered my eyes. "Why did he have to be here then?" I thought. I peeked through my fingers at my ceiling; half expecting Danny to phase through it.

I heard a knock on my door. "Rachel?" my mom called. I sniffled and sat up. "Yeah mom?" I replied. My mom opened my door and chuckled. "Well, you look like crap."

I rolled my eyes. "Gee, thanks mom. Love you too."

My mom laughed. "I already called the school and let them know that you're staying home today." she said. "Thanks mom." I said, blowing my nose with a tissue from a box next to my bed. Mom sat on the edge, by my feet. "Honey...today I'm working a double shift."

I sighed. "Of course."

My mother looked at me. "That means that I have tomorrow off. I was hoping to spend the day with you and your father. It can be a family night." she said. "Wait, I have a date tomorrow night!" I said. "Oh really? Is it with Danny?" Mom asked. I nodded.

"About time he asked you out..." Mom mumbled. "What was that?" I asked. Mom smiled at me. "Oh, nothing. Why don't you just invite him over? Your father and I wouldn't mind." Mom said. I felt my cheeks heat up. "R-Really...? You guys...wouldn't mind?"

Mom shook her head. "Of course we wouldn't!"

I smiled a tiny smile. "Thanks mom..." I said. Mom smiled. "It's no problem honey. Besides...I don't know if your father has noticed, but I have. You seem...happy when you talk about him. I haven't seen you that happy in...in a while honey. I want you to be happy." she said softly.

I nodded and bit my lip. I started to feel guilty; thinking about when I had nearly jumped off of the roof.

I guess I owe Danny an apology.

As Danny sat in his seat for his last class, his thoughts kept dwelling on the previous night.

Why would Rachel hurt herself like that?

Danny also said that something had hurt her. What was it that hurt?

Danny continued to be lost in his thoughts and he didn't hear the last bell ring. Mr. Lancer angrily called his name. "Mr. Fenton, class is over."

Danny stood and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "O-Oh...sorry Mr. Lancer." he said, starting towards the door. "Hold on Mr. Fenton. Can you take this to Rachel's house? It is her homework for the day." Mr. Lancer said. He held a folder out to Danny. "O-Okay." Danny said, taking the folder.

As he left the room, Danny thought about Rachel. He decided to go to her house and drop off her homework first.

Danny knocked on the front door of Rachel's house and her dad answered. "Yes?" he asked. "Mr. Jones, I brought Rachel's homework for her." Danny said. Mr. Jones stepped aside and motioned for Danny to come inside and he did. "She's in her room. It's the second door on the left." he said.

Danny knocked on the door that Mr. Jones had led him to. "Who is it?" Rachel asked quietly. "It's Danny...I brought your homework."

I shot up out of bed, tissues flying to the ground. "D-Danny?" I asked. "Yeah?" Danny replied, his voice muffled by the door. I sighed. "Come in."

Danny opened my door and smiled. "Hey." he said casually. I nodded back and blew my nose into another tissue. "So...you're sick." Danny said slowly. "Yes Danny, I'm sick. People can get sick." I said, rolling my eyes as a smile crept onto my face. "I...was worried about you."

I sighed. "...s-sorry that you...had to...see that..." I said quietly. Danny sat on the edge of my bed. "Why did you cut yourself?" he asked softly. I bit my lip. "Rachel, please. Talk to me." Danny said.

I held my arm out to him and pulled back my sleeve. Danny's eyes grew wide when he saw the amount of scars on it. "Is...your other arm like this too?"

I nodded and squeezed my eyes shut; bracing myself. I didn't know how Danny was going to respond; so I expected the worst.

I felt Danny pull me close and I opened my eyes to see that he was hugging me. Danny held me at arms' length. "Rachel...please don't hurt yourself like this."

I felt tears fill my eyes and I looked down. "I...I...I'm...ugly..." I whispered. I covered my face with my hands. "I'm ugly..." I repeated. "Stop it Rachel." Danny said, pulling my hands away from my face. He gently rubbed his thumbs over the back of my hands. "You are not ugly. You're beautiful. So please...stop hurting yourself."

I felt the tears finally spill and I started crying. Danny let go of my hands and hugged me again. I buried my face in his chest, my sobs muffled. Danny gently ran a hand over my hair. "It's alright." he said. "You can let it all out. I'll still be here."

After I had finished crying, I blew my nose in another tissue. "Well...I guess that I'm feeling better from my cold now." I said with a faint smile. Danny smiled back, holding one of my hands. "I'm glad. It'd...be a shame if we had to cancel our date tomorrow." he said with a smile.

"Oh...that reminds me. I...can't go to the movies tomorrow." I said. "Why?" Danny asked. "Well...my mom has tomorrow off and she wants to spend some time with me and my dad." I said softly. "Oh well...I understand." Danny said, trying not to let the disappointment show. "She did say that you can come over and hang out. That is...um...if you don't mind." I said, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Your parents don't mind?" Danny asked, looking at me. I shook my head. "No...actually, it was my mom's idea to invite you." I said with a chuckle. Danny smiled. "Alright. It sounds like a plan." he said.

Danny stood, still holding my hand. "I...should probably get going." he said. I nodded. "Yeah...you probably have homework of your own." I said, smiling. Danny leaned toward me, but I stopped him. "I'm sick, remember? I don't want to get you sick." I said. Danny sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh yeah..."

I giggled. "Thanks though...for...um...letting me cry." I said. "It's no problem. You know that you can cry in front of me." Danny said. I nodded. "I do now." I said quietly. Danny reached forward and hugged me. When he pulled away, he smiled. "I'll see you later, alright?" he asked. I nodded. "Later."

I shot up, panting. I looked around and realized that I must have been asleep. I looked at my alarm clock to see that it was 11:00.

I laid back down and stared at the ceiling. There was no way that I would be able to fall back asleep after the nightmare that I just had. I turned onto my side and curled into a ball.

I stared at the razor on my nightstand and sighed. I opened the top drawer and put the razor in there. "I'm stronger than that..." I mumbled. I turned away, flopping onto my other side and pulling my knees to my chest. "Dreams aren't real..." I mumbled, closing my eyes. "He's not here and won't be coming back."

I felt a sudden chill and opened my eyes. I looked up and saw Danny, in his ghost form, looking at me. "...what is it?" I asked softly. "Are you alright?" he asked. I sighed. "I don't know..." I mumbled. Danny sat on the edge of my bed and turned to me. "What's wrong?"

"Nightmare..." I mumbled, closing my eyes again. "About what?" Danny asked. I shook my head. "I...can't talk about it right now." I said, keeping my voice quiet. I looked at Danny. "Why are you here again? Don't you have to...I don't know, get some sleep?"

Danny shrugged. "I was concerned about you. Besides; I go on nighttime patrols to make sure there aren't ghosts bugging people." he said. I smiled faintly. "So...I'm not a bother then?" I asked. "Of course you're not Rachel." Danny said.

I held my hand out towards him and he grabbed it. "Thank you...for watching over me." I whispered. Danny smiled. "I promise you Rachel. I won't leave you. I'll help you with whatever it is that's bugging you."

I closed my eyes. "Thank you Danny."