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Please Be Normal

〖Chapter 3〗

⦕ The Crawling Chaos ⦖

"Speirs! Get your ass over here!"

Another suicide mission, she had thought. Succeed in one and these men of higher authority seemed keener on rewarding him with his second… and then third… fourth… by now, even she had decided it wasn't a record worth tracking. He couldn't die anyway.

The Eldritch God, a creation of Chaos, or perhaps a miscreation, had been following Lennard Speirs in this strange world where its Second World War refused to end. The Custodian's task was simpler on paper as they always were; this time, the Gods demanded no major powers resort to nuke, elsewise, this 'Earth' would die. That meant ending the war one way or and not the other, or surrender it to one of the Protogenoi.

She watched as the unshaven man readily loped over, his face unbothered by the fact that the New World Order had been shelling their position for five nights — the reason why these Federation troops were storming the guarded place. Now bullets and mortar shells were flying in, whistling down the men at the battlefield. It was a relatively open plain with several cottages and huts and haystacks for cover. Not much, but they had to storm the village — the enemy position. It was key for their current assault and the next.

"Relieve Sobel and take that attack on in!"

Replying with a quick nod, Speirs ran toward the shellshocked lieutenant's position. A mortar shell blasted five meters away from him, but that failed in slowing him down. He leapt through the cloud of snow and smoke without breaking his stride, holding onto his assault rifle.

Nyarlathotep giggled to herself, watching him lift the soldiers' spirit by mere presence alone, and further as he relieved Easy Company's First Lieutenant and took over, promptly commanding a mortar team to target a sniper's nest and taking command of a group of men. She listened as a Gunnery Sergeant informed him that Easy Company was meant to meet with Dog Company on the other side of the battlefield, but their radio was shot by a bullet, rendered ineffective.

"If we don't tell them that we're here, they might pull back, Sir!"

"You're right," Speirs dully said with a duller nod. "Wait here."

The Sergeant was stunned for a flat second, before aiming and firing his gun to cover the fearless man's advance. Nyarlatothep laughed as he ran straight into the tanks and infantry and artillery pieces. At first, even the NWO's soldiers didn't shoot him, staring at him confused, thought he was just a figment of their imagination as they didn't think there was any man insane enough to run through an entire defensive position.

Well Speirs was insane enough to run back again to regroup with the Gunnery Sergeant once he had his message delivered.

Excerpt: Lt. Col. Rennald Speirs

A screeching scream declared her arrival. An ungodly sound produced by breeding horror and insanity.

No words were able to describe the monstrosity that had violated all rules of physics and biology. A whirling black gate with a sinister green glow had appeared out of thin air — a portal from an unknown territory reigned by an endless void and a swarm of ungodly monsters.

And from the gate stepped out an abomination so vile that Mittelt thought she had lost her senses. Everything about it was wrong. Three legs, three hands, a mouth for a face with teeth. Then it shifted. Four legs, four arms. Deskinned wings. A halo over its 'head'. A head that was filled with bleeding eyes. Then it changed shape again.

Over, and over again, even as it devoured Dohnaseek whole, leaving nothing of him. And everytime it changed shape, she would hear a click. Then the myriad whispering of every soul that was lost to this vile entity — until Mittelt thought she was going insane.

But for Speirs, Nyarlathotep had assumed the appearance of a fit, dark-skinned, smiling young woman with a slender yet shapely figure held by a black suit and matching skirt. A white dress shirt tucked neatly underneath her suit, and topped with a frilly black tie with neon green strips. Attached to the left side of her suit was a golden brooch pin shaped like an eight-pointed star — the Star of Discord — the unmistakable sign that she was a representative of Chaos Himself. For those that were in the know at least. For most people, they'd think it was a neat looking brooch if not a little bit over the top.

The slight, smuggish smirk on her face had never left her as she placed a hand on her hip, eyeing him with her gleaming seafoam green eyes. A lustrous black hair cascaded all the way to her back, with all strands of her hair pure black on the exterior, yet bright green on its inside.

'Like the insides of a cave filled with glowing mushrooms' was what this imbecile once said to her. An insult she deeply despised amongst all the praises she'd received from most that met her, but nevertheless one that stuck to her like a stubborn tumor.

"Well, well… If it isn't my favorite Custodian…" the Outer God smiled, her sultry voice like venom coated in honey. But she couldn't hide her true intention from him no matter how sweetly she smiled. "Getting violent so soon? I thought you'd have grown to be more… imaginative with your approaches."

"I disagree. I can get very creative in the application of violence." Speirs unceremoniously shrugged and turned around, but not before saying, with the same exasperated tone of a father that had given up lecturing their rowdy kid, "Take the runt to the living room and don't mess with her mind yet."

The word 'yet' thrilled Nyarlathotep. Just enough that she didn't bark back from being ordered around by some 'temporarily immortal' mortal. Besides; he was pissed. A common occurrence, yes, but that didn't take away the excitement out of it because of how beyond reason he could get.

As to be expected for someone with a sanity-shattering job.

Any intelligible word that came out of Mittelt's mouth was reduced into whimpers as it carried her with their tendrils — it had changed shape again. This time to what looked like a starfish with too many limbs. How this freak of a human was able to communicate with the garbled sounds it let out was a complete mystery to her, but at the moment, Mittelt was both too terrified and too freaked out to ask.

To put it into 'inferior beings' perspective, it'd be the same as moths trying to understand human speech. Any cooing sound or cutesy voices human make would be a garbled mess for mere moths.

The Crawling Chaos, did, in fact, crawl for Mittelt. But Nyarlathotep did walk to the living room, the small girl hovering behind her — she refused to touch such 'ilk' — creatures bred by 'gods' that thought they were the apex of everything when in fact they were less insignificant than a mote of dust in their own universe, let alone the entire Creation altogether.

She placed the girl next to her, retaining the illusion that her 'tendril' remained coiled around her for the time being for entertainment's sake. She then sniffed the air once as she lifted a leg over another, her green stockings a stark difference against her darker skin, and made a face.

"Hmm? Still keeping the child?"

Speirs sat back and almost melted into his couch, easing off some of his rage. "Be nice."

"Hmm…fascinating," Nyarlathotep hummed huskily. "I thought you hated children."

"I do," he said, amusing her. "She's more of a small animal to me." Kunou being a Kitsune herself definitely helped in making him retain that notion. "How are things in The Sanctuary?"

"Same old," Nyarlathotep — 'Arla' and sometimes 'Carla' if Speirs wanted to tick her off — replied unenthusiastically. "I'm surprised you'd be placed here of all places… This world doesn't seem to be the most…" she took in the air, closing her eyes, tasting the brewing chaos, judging the level of imminent doom of this world — and found it lacking. "...prone to catastrophe. Were you wrongly posted?"

"I know," he agreed. "This one's supposed to be a vacation."

The image of that burly man's caved in face slinked to her mind, inciting her to giggle. "And yet you can't seem to stay away from grieving annoyances."

"That's why I'm angry," Speirs griped, sending a cold glare at the Fallen Angel that was trying to make herself disappear. "You. Gothic imp."

"M-m-me…?"

"Who are you people, where are you people from, what do your organization want, why did you try to kill me, and when will I get to meet your person in command."

"W-w-well we uh… w-we…"

Understandably, trying to retain her composure or at least be composed enough to respond was quite a mountainous task when she was sitting next to a creature that looked like it created nightmares. Understanding this, Arla let out a sigh of disappointment as she appeared as 'normal' as she once was to the poor Fallen Angel.

"W…was that an illusion…? Hah… haha… That was some neat trick…"

"It was and it wasn't," Arlachuckled as her face contorted into one of her many faces all at once, then amalgamating into Dohnaseek's face as she spoke with his burly voice. "Dare you dig deeper, Little One?"

Mittelt nearly fainted when his face was crushed, imploding, complete with the cracking of the skull.

"Hey, quit it. Whatever you're doing to her," Speirs grumbled, and Arla stopped wracking the girl's sanity as she laughed. "Answers, kid, I want them."

"So grouchy~" the Outer God droned, adding more crease to his brows as Speirs furrowed his eyebrows. "Always a delight whenever you grouch and grump and scowl and rage… You're like my family's burly dobermann."

While he appreciated the fact Arla was not as apocalypse-thirsty or an ignorant genocidal maniac as things like her could have been, she was nonetheless inclined to evil. Anything that derived their satisfaction from tormenting the minds of 'lesser beings', to induce madness and mental suffering for their own sadistic pleasure fit that bill in his book, even if she was an associate. And he did not appreciate the fact that he was being compared to a dog breed.

Shaky as she was, Mittelt still had some fear of Kokabiel left in her that was preventing her from telling him everything all at once.

"And… If I refuse…? You're not… gonna run my hand through a blender, right…? I-I mean that'd be completely inhumane. A-and… savage."

"Look at him," Arla tittered, entertained by the lesser beings and their tendency to clutch desperately at a thin rope called 'hope'. "Look at what he did to your colleague. He's done much worse, sweetling."

Nyarlatothep slithered towards her, grinned and bared her fangs — millions of needle-thin fangs. "Much… much worse… Men, women… children. Women that looked like children…" Her smile darkened as well as her scleras. "As a matter of fact, I am not the least human being in this room."

Mittelt swallowed her spit.

"I suggest you tell him anything he demands you to tell, including the things you know he'll want to know even if it didn't occur to him to ask… lest he boils a pot of water and force feeds you while making me heal your throat and lungs~?"

Mittelt huffed heartlessly. Her hope and dreams gone and shattered, taken over by a mountain of regret.

"...I really should've stayed in bed…"

Bit of an exaggeration, but at least that got the brat to spill everything so Speirs didn't bother correcting her. Of course he wouldn't force her to drink some piping hot liquid, although, admittedly, it wasn't that bad of an idea should he come across such a tough as nails individual, so Speirs jotted the idea down in his memory. He might need it someday, someplace, in a different universe.

"You found me pretty fast," Speirs started without preamble, causing the girl to flinch. "Bit too quick even for an agency… What sort of organization do you belong to and what's their aim here?"

She didn't waste any time answering. "The Grigori Research Institute — G-Grigori for short. …I mean, we used to."

Speirs cocked his head. Not the first time he heard of that term. The Watchers? So these were the Fallen Angels Rias told him to be wary about?

"Spill it out."

Mittelt nervously fiddled with the hem of her black goth dress. "We're uh… our job is to… watch over humanity's progress and ensure they won't unintentionally or intentionally bring ruins to this world."

"Something about Sacred Gears, is it?" he asked as she hurriedly nodded. "And that justifies murder?"

"Wh-which will you pick? The fate of many or the few?"

"Fair enough." Surprisingly enough, the man wasn't all that conflicted. The relief his understanding provided was miniscule, but little was better than nothing. She'd take anything at this point. "You mentioned 'used to'...? Explain."

"We uh… broke off from the Grigori… Rather my superior did and I didn't get much say in that matter, you see… ahaha…"

"A splinter cell already. Great," Speirs concluded. "Who do you work for now?"

"K-Kokabiel," she whimpered, knowing she'd sealed her fate by saying his name and what she was about to say next. "...He… erm… betrayed the organization. Said he wanted to finish an unfinished business… whatever that meant."

Speirs crossed his arms. "You don't sound all too excited working for him."

"B-Because I'm not! I didn't ask for any of this crap!" Mittelt complained, immediately quieting down because she mistook Speirs' normal stare as a glare and thought she was being too loud. "...I…happened to be working under him before he went rogue, and… I didn't want to die so I just sorta went along."

Nyarlatothep snarled. "Hmph. Pathetic."

"That's reasonable," Speirs interjected, earning him Nyarlathotep's slightly offended look. As if it was a crime to have differing opinions than this Eldritch entity. "You won't get it because of what you are, so I won't bother explaining."

It was evident she wasn't satisfied by his reason, but Nyarlathotep simply folded her arms and crossed her legs, pouting a little. Mittelt would think she was cute if not for the mindfuckery she'd shown her prior.

"Hey, you're not finished yet. How did you find me that quick?"

Mittelt gulped. "W-well… we're… uh… currently doing an operation in this town and… we have lots of eyes. Don't know if they've told you about this, but where Devils excel in might and magic, we're far superior in intelligence gathering. Though that doesn't mean all of us are small fries! It's… it's all about evolution, you see…"

"M'kay," Speirs leaned back, finding this rather interesting. "Elaborate."

"Devils and Demons, I mean they grew up in Hell. It wasn't the easiest place to live… lots of man-eating monsters, hazardous climates, inimical biospheres and so and so," Mittetly awkwardly cleared her throat. "...Uh… we, on the other hand, stayed on Earth. Blended in with the humans while we learn how they operate and…yeah…"

Speirs bobbed his head back and forth. "I see, I see. While the lot of you just sorta slipped off from Heaven because you're horny for humans?"

"Y-yeah. There's more to it than that but… yeah. That's pretty much it. Ha… haha…"

"Haven't told me why you wanted to kill me though."

The lone Fallen Angel paled. "...Uh… right… that… huh? W-well, you see… Basically we… we uh… weren't necessarily told we have to kill you specifically, but it's just that we… I mean we thought you were being a bit too chummy with the Devils so we considered the chance that you'd be a Contractor, in which case we wouldn't have bothered because that's a bit risky but… since you weren't affiliated with them on that level yet…we…uh….we thought it's fair game…?"

She had the face of someone that was hoping he wouldn't get irate over her answer and was unsure if she said the right thing.

Frankly, it didn't matter to him. He just wanted to know the reason as to why someone would want to kill him. It was a pretty big deal on a personal level.

"Huh. That's it?"

"Y-yeah… That's it. …Sor…ry…?"

"You can tell your friends to fuck off though," he said leniently. "I don't get all excited over killing or hurting mooks, but I'd do it if I have to."

"R-right…" Mittelt awkwardly laughed as she nervously twirled with her bright blonde hair. "...about that…"

Break

"Can't say that was foreseeable of her to be so willing to be my attendant," Nyarlathotep mused, overall pleased with the outcome of her visitation thus far. "Oftentimes they would plead for their lives, not offer servitude. Perhaps critters of this cosmos might be worth a closer investigation…"

Speirs only rolled his eyes. Of course Mittelt preferred serving this lunatic than going back. She might be frightened, scared shitless, but Nyarlatothep was the safest option. There she once was, just living her daily life, until she came across a creature from a place unknown and never thought before, showing her a mere fragment of her power, thereby exposing her to the cold hard truth of how powerless she was compared to this entity.

It was like what she said. She didn't serve this Kokabiel guy because she aligned with his method or ideology. She chose to serve Kokabiel because she'd be dead if she refused.

For Mittelt, serving Nyarlathotep provided assured security.

In spite of his occupations and all the horrors he'd seen or even committed, Speirs did however, retain a shred of sympathy for miscreants that were put in a certain predicament that was outside of their desire; in other words, people who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and couldn't do shit about it. Be it for their life, food, money or family.

It was a basic survival instinct, but of course Arla wouldn't understand any of it — she never had anything to fear or strive to survive. For these Outer Gods, Messengers, Harbingers or the like, surviving was an idea so foreign and abstract that Speirs would have better luck explaining to Kunou why the ocean isn't actually blue and why she wasn't allowed to eat ice creams for her breakfast lunch and dinner even if she was a 'growing Kitsune', than to teach Arla why some creatures had to survive instead of simply existing and doing as they please like her.

"Now then, with that out of the way…" she smirked, smoothing her way over to his side of the couch, slithering over his lap and staying there. Bit reminiscent of how Kunou just sat on his lap some minutes ago, except Arla was not as warm — chilly, in fact — and much less pure.

"The Ace Who Lost it All," she hummed, her words slithering out, coiling the air like a black viper. "Captain of the Ziggurat... You've brought death to millions to save billions, billions to save trillions… savior, conqueror, hero, mentor, betrayer. You are all these things, Speirs, yet still you are nothing. How do you live knowing you will forever stand alone?"

He responded with a palm to her face, shoving her away with ease despite her struggle.

This damned 'gift' of his was… infuriatingly annoying. No humans should be able to reach for her without losing their sanity, let alone plant their palm on her face and push her away as if she was but a mere child.

"Yea, nah. Not interested in your game," he told her like he would tell a kid to piss off and find someone else to bother. "You need to pick your moments better, Arla."

She smirked, taking his words as a challenge. "You see yourself as a monster but we both know you're not. You're still human… on your skin or deep down… You retain your sanity in spite of everything… And that irks me greatly."

Her smirk grew into a dark sneer.

"But there will be a time when it will crack. When that time arrives, I will be there, and you will be mine."

"Aye. Like around now so I won't have to deal with your insane prattling," he gruffly huffed, getting off his seat, deliberately pushing her off of him. "You need a hobby."

Her guiltless look was almost laudable. "What's wrong with turning beings of lesser significance insane? Don't measure my nature with your mortal ways. It'd be like—"

"Yes, yes… 'like an ant trying to decipher a human' or a 'fish mystified over a bird, I don't need your analogies and I also don't need you here anymore."

Her dark lips curled to a darker smile. "That's not how this works, Speirs. I need you to bring me here, but I don't need you or their permission to linger and stay. Mhmmhmm~ this time, I'll make sure your sanity will fall."

"You'll have an easier time convincing the sky to fall than turning me insane…" he driveled, but noting that she wasn't going to leave anytime soon, he took out his phone. "If you don't piss off I'm calling Hastur."

"..." Nyarlathotep glowered, skewering him with her glare.

Even for a being classified as an Eldritch God, Arla could be cute by human standards when she was petulantly upsetted. Predominantly by this certain Custodian who had seen enough and been through enough to be excused for being perpetually grumpy.

"How is it possible for me to both adore and loathe things like you at the same time."

"No other things like me. Only me."

Arla shuddered at the thought. 'Arrogant cretin…' she mused, and yet it was a fact. Other Custodians had lost their minds and needed vacation when they dreamed let alone entered her Universe — the Realm of Chaos, the first ever Universe that Chaos created, but not Speirs.

He was peculiarly upset that day, and outer gods or inner gods be damned, he spared no one from his rant. He was the first most fascinating existence that had taken the interest of many other Outer Gods. He was simply, in his own language and expression, 'ran out of fucks to give', that the presence of those that should have rent his sanity was nothing more than an annoying glob of tentacles and or eyes.

And now he threatened her…

The audacity of this mewling spawn… who had dared to threaten the Outer Gods that he'd wake up Azathoth if they didn't behave… The absolute insanity this lone man would go through…

…

He thrilled her like no other.

"Very well," she whispered, "I shall leave you alone. But remember; you called me and now I am here. Wherever you go, whatever you do, I'm always watching… For now though," a wicked smile smeared her lips. "Perhaps I need to teach my new… servant… several lessons. Such as the fragility of a mortal mind… mhmmhmhm~"

"Go away already," Speirs sighed as Arla left the way she arrived; through a wormhole that shattered the time and space continuum, potentially alerting all of this Universe's gods that were sensitive to such violation of their rules.

Not his problem for all he was concerned.

He heard the clicking of a door, and leaning his head back from the sofa, he watched as an upside down Kunou was making her way towards him, her steps and face no longer as bubbly as before. She was hugging her frizzed up tail like she would a pillow.

Right. Now this little lady was his problem.

"Is it okay to come out now?"

"You should've asked that before you got out of the room, Kunou," he told her, and then cracked a smile. "Come on. Get your brush and get over here. Let's fix that fur of yours."

"Okay!"

And she ran back to their bedroom, bringing with her a huge brush. Luckily for him, she wasn't at the age where it would be difficult to brighten her mood this easily. Not like she should be sticking with him for that long anyway.

For now, though… he couldn't take her back to the daycare, which annoyed him a little more than a little bit. He had to search for a place for her while he was working.

Unaware of his inner pondering, Kunou quickly clambered over the couch and positioned herself so that her lower back was on top of his lap, handed him the brush, and pulled a cushion under her head to rest upon.

"Good. Now quit moving your tail."

"Okay!"

Speirs huffed, but worked on his magic either way, starting from the white tipped fur and all the way to its golden base. Her tail wasn't always as lustrous like this. It used to be dry and coarse, smudged with soot and dirt. The little fox herself wasn't always this healthy — but she had always been this cheery. In the middle of all that chaos and destruction, in her old world, Kunou had never let anything bothered her no matter how hungry she was.

He chuckled this time. A smile on his rugged face. He watched in contentment as Kunou slowly and surely drifted to sleep, mumbling the silly nothings as she did.

It hadn't always been this easy.

The first time they met, he had just sanctioned her entire world to an end. And small and young she might be, she knew. She knew it was him that did it. Maybe because of the guilt in his face he showed to her when their eyes met, or purely out of instinct.

"Hello."

Kunou was neither surprised nor anxious, it was her that called him out. She cocked her head to a side, before then prancing towards him, jumping off from the second floor of a crumbling building like she didn't know the danger gravity might possess. He remembered smiling and kneeling down to her level, reaching out his hand, slowly and carefully inching closer, sniffing it, and then asked him with a hopeful look,

"Mister, do you have any food?"

No caution whatsoever. It was as if she trusted him. Maybe she was just desperate, but her eyes were too genuine for that. He never thought it would be the innocence of a child that made him break his self-imposed rule, but ever since he took her in, he never looked back.

Break

Rias had been dreading this day.

Today, Issei was present, and that meant that man would show his face sooner or later. She worried for her clueless Pawn. She didn't want any unnecessary expectations or responsibility to be forced upon him. She'd rather have him grow at a pace he was comfortable with, but at the same time, if his growth was crucial for, not only this world, but this entire universe to survive whatever was waiting for them in the future, then she knew she couldn't exactly hold him back either.

The matter with Riser hadn't been concluded yet, there had been an increase of Stray Exorcists in this faithless town, and not to mention the recurring issue with those damned Crows… yet now she had to deal with this in the midst of it all…?

Give her a break…

"...Urghh…"

"You've been sighing an awful lot, Rias," Akeno's carefree, flute-like voice came from next to her as her Queen refilled her emptied cup of tea. "Even someone as dense as our cute Pawn would be able to tell something's off."

"Huh? Something's off? What is?"

"...Nevermind," tittered Akeno, not at all bothered by pretty much anything. "Ara, Issei-kun, how will you start your harem if you're still this insensitive?"

He took that cue, at least, as Issei turned his attention away from his handheld console to check up on Rias, and instantly became ashamed by the stacks of documents sitting on her desk, framing her slumped body.

"Uh… you alright, Prez? Is there anything I can do to help…?"

"Not at the moment, unfortunately. These are all administrative works that I need to have a quick glance over, not something you're obligated to do either way…" Rias grumbled, her face still flat with the surface of her working table. "But I appreciate the notion."

"...Okay." Issei didn't want to admit it, but he was glad he didn't have to deal with any of those paperworks.

He put down his gaming console as Akeno sat next to him, however, a little thing he'd always done that had actually impressed these two Devils.

"How are you holding up, Issei-kun?"

"I feel great!" he chimed, flexing his non-existent muscles, earning a few titters from the pretty lady before him. "Don't wanna do that again though. I feel like shit."

"Even if you get to sleep next to a nude Rias whenever you are grievously injured?"

"...Well maybe a few more times won't hurt. For experience's sake."

"Don't put any weird ideas in his head, Akeno," warned Rias, who still had her eyes glued to the lump of formality before her. "The ideas that are already there don't need any more company."

Issei scratched his cheek as he stole a glimpse of Akeno's impressive chest. It was hard not to look.

Not like Akeno minded either.

"Oh! Uh…" But Issei miraculously snapped out of it and pried his attention away. "Senpai, you've met the guy already, right? What was his name again… Super— Supai…. Supais… Eh, Oppais?"

"It's Speirs (Supiaasu)," Akeno giggled. "He does have a rather difficult name to pronounce. What about him, Issei-kun? He's rather normal in spite of his profession. You don't have to worry much about him."

"Oh it's not about that, I'm just wondering since he has been to many universes, is it rude if I ask him if he's banged an alien chick? And if he does, what's the strangest one?"

"..."

"...I guess that's a no."

Akeno blinked out of her stupor. "N-no… I'm just surprised by your question."

"You know, Hyoudou, sometimes having you as my Pawn both stresses me and relieves me at the same time."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

Rias didn't respond, but he did manage to etch a small smile on her face. He felt rather proud.

Her smile was short-lived, however, as a gruff voice announced his entrance, "It's Speirs. I'm welcoming myself."

He marched into the room, and her lifted mood immediately soured. At least he knocked this time.

She dropped her pen and paper, initially only wanting to spare a distrustful glance at his face and ready to chastise him if he came in with a lit cigarette, but no. What he brought surprised her even more. He had a kid with him.

A young girl in a soft pink sweater and jeans was hiding behind his leg, her golden hair tied in a spirited ponytail. A pygmy compared to his imposing stature. Perhaps equal to Koneko's height. That could not have been his daughter. He had absolutely no resemblance to her in any way.

"Oh my," Akeno muttered, crouching to level herself with the surprise guest. "This is unexpected. I never took you as a dad."

"Me neither," he simply said as he patted Kunou's head, beckoning her forward gently. "Go on. Introduce yourself, kiddo."

"...'Lo…" she timidly spoke, barely taking in the new environment, swaying back and forth on the balls of her feet. "...I'm Kunou."

"What are you being so shy about? I thought you like meeting new faces."

Kunou growled quietly in protest, scowling petulantly as she raised a tiny fist to strike him at the small of his back, hurting her knuckles in the process. She didn't want to tell him that she had an easier time mingling with other kids because none of them were twice her height, unlike any of these people.

"Hm," was all Speirs said in return to that fiasco while the Devils were busy having their hearts squeezed by this dork. "She wasn't this shy at the daycare yesterday… Then again there were kids her age and none in here, so…"

"Hello, Kunou-chan. I'm Akeno. Nice to meet you." Akeno offered with a sincere smile, remaining crouched. Her smile grew a little upon seeing the kid nodding back. "Would you like some sweet tea, Kunou-chan?"

Instead of immediately responding, Kunou craned her neck to stare at him with hopeful eyes.

"Sure. Ease it with the sugar. I'll have one as well while you're at it… Iced. And thank you very much."

"Will do," Akeno giggled. "Would you like to give me a hand? I'm sure your…" she glanced at Speirs.

"Guardian."

"Guardian would like it more if it's you that made it for him."

Kunou looked up again, needing his confirmation. "...You will?"

"Yeah. Totally."

"Okay!" she beamed, moving forward, announcing her intent to help as Akeno couldn't help but clutch her dark heart.

With the brat temporarily dealt with, Speirs took a brief look around the club, noticing two members were absent but also a new face this time — a familiar one, actually. Messy brown hair, brown eyes, average height for a Japanese and lean build — this must be his guy.

"You Issei Hyoudou?"

"Er… yeah, sup," Issei blankly nodded. The whole time he had been staring at this foreigner, secretly intimidated by his height and his five o'clock shadows, but at the same time, thought his black satin bomber jacket was kinda cool. If he didn't know about Speirs beforehand, he'd have mistaken him as a member of a biker gang.

Well, Speirs had been in a few, to be fair. Of various worlds.

"Speirs," he said, nodding up as he raised his fist for a bump, which Issei instinctively hammered back with his. "You don't look half-bad. Heard you got into a tussle with those Fallen Angels hm?"

"Yeah. Twice, now…" Issei grumbled as Speirs went on to sit on a sofa, resting one leg on top of the other. Issei followed suit and took the seat in front of him. "Alright, screw the boring intros— I gotta hear it from you straight, man; do you really come from an alternate universe?"

"Alternate? No. A different one," Speirs clarified as he shuffled his jacket's pocket, producing a small box of—

"No smoking indoors," came a stern warning from Rias.

"Right— my bad," and he stored his cigarettes back as Rias sat next to the prodigal boy. "Lady Princess," he nodded up — his standard casual greeting. Rias wasn't all too pleased to see him, but he didn't make a deal out of it as he knew why she was acting rather uptight.

"What's your old world look like, Supaiisu-san?"

"Craptastic," Speirs held back a cringe at the butchery of his name's pronunciation. The boy tried, at least. "No offense, buddy, but I ain't here to tell sob stories so let's save it for later. I do, however, come here with a request…" his dark gray eyes skimmed over towards Rias', who subconsciously scowled in response. "You see, Lady, I was attacked yesterday by a bunch of lunatics. It was a home invasion. I got home invaded and it hasn't even been a week. Can you believe that?"

That wiped the scowl off her face for now. "Attacked? By whom?"

"Fallen Angels. Big guy with a suit. Fedora guy."

Rias narrowed her eyes in disgust. "Dohnaseek…"

He caught the wince on Issei's face.

"That bastard attacked me as well," Issei growled, before his expression turned sour. Definitely bitter from that encounter. Likely because he lost and nearly died.

"He did? On what basis?"

"He thought I was a Stray Devil…" Issei grumbled.

"Their excuses don't matter," Rias added. "Did you notice anyone else in particular?"

"There was another one…" Speirs nonetheless continued, "there was a… midget with yellow hair… whatsherface—"

"Mittelt…" Rias seethed. Just uttering their names had boiled her blood. "Raynare's lackeys… Tsk. They must've been following you the moment you left."

"They did and I didn't appreciate it."

"But you're here, in spite of everything…" Rias muttered with hints of growing interest; her brain already trying to figure out ways to coerce this man to work for her. "What happened then?"

"I took care of them for now so at least there's that—"

"Huh? You… took care of him?"

"Yes, yes. Look, Lady, I'm gonna need you to—"

Rias held up her palm. "Wait… hold on… You said you… took care of him…? How?"

"I smashed his head in with a door," Speirs said with a certain kind of look. "Y'know, I find this morbid curiosity of yours regarding how I dispatched a man rather disturbing, Lady."

Rias exchanged a glance with Issei. "You took care of him? How? I-I mean… you're only human, no?"

"When there's a will, there's a way. I can be very resourceful in the application of violence..." he replied plainly. "Look— it doesn't matter. I'm gonna be around for a while and one day I'm sure you'll get to see me in action, but right now, I need your agreement on something, and that's taking care of my kid when I have to work on stuff. Custodian stuff."

Rias was about to retort before he raised his hand, "Wait up, let me explain why I need you lot. Those winged bastards believe I'm on your payroll or something, and they might try something funny to tick me off. Like kidnapping. I can't risk leaving her in a daycare."

"..." Rias debated the options. His value definitely outweighed his annoyance, that was for certain. Dohnaseek might be weak, but he shouldn't have died in the hands of a mere human. …Or a door. "...Well… you've plucked a thorn on our side by getting rid of him…"

"Right? Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours."

"...Wh…what?"

"Just my world's saying. If you help me, I'll help you back, basically."

A sensible proposition. One she thought might be too good to pass on. His hands were not as tied by rules and restrictions as the Devils were… And he seemed capable of handling the low-ranking nuisances… With no direct ties to her or the Devils, he could serve her well as a proxy.

"Fine, we can look after your child, but only temporarily," she specified. "In return—"

"No. You don't get to make demands. Take it or leave it."

She scowled. "...Pardon me…? What's with your hypocritical way of thinking?"

"Well let's say I have other options. Let's say I know the runt will be safe if I ask them to look after her for a while… safer than any of you can promise, actually… But I'm giving you a chance to…" he made a gesture with his hands. "Eh… show me you're trustful and capable?"

"Excuse me…?" Rias began to seethe. "What makes you think we'd want it just to impress you?"

His expression muted. "This is a town you oversee, isn't it?"

That put her anger on halt. "...Yes? What of it?"

"Yesterday I had a talk with the little midget. Yellow hair. Frilly black dress. Girly pigtails."

"Yes… that'd be Mittelt, as I've mentioned…." Rias folded her hands and leaned back against her chair. It appeared he wasn't as daft as to make demands without giving something in return. "What about her?"

"See, they're running something sketchy with exiled Exorcists."

"...Go on…" Rias leaned forward. Nothing new to her, of course, but she was interested to see where he was heading with this.

"You know they're hiding at the old church just outside the town?"

"I am aware of it, yes."

"Well, are you aware that they have been killing your Contractors?"

She frowned and scowled. "Regrettably I'm aware of that as well… If you can tell me why, however…"

"They're collecting the skulls and blood for a ritual," he went on. "A rite to extract a Sacred Gear." He shifted his eyes towards the boy. "Yours, I'm assuming."

"Wh— m-me?"

"You're the 'perfect target'. Their description, not mine," Speirs clarified as Rias was staring daggers at him. Not because he didn't want her to be upset at him, but because he'd gotten sick of being glared at. "You're a Devil, you're weak, you're inexperienced, and you're positively reckless from what I've heard."

"Hey!" Issei complained. "I mean they're right, but you didn't have to spray it on my face! And why were they talking about me?"

"They have your friend, don't they? Who'd be stupid enough to go in blind?"

Issei was quick to scowl on that. Earlier he was just joking around, but now that Asia had entered the equation… even someone like him knew when to fool around.

"Yeah, I'm stupid enough to go in blind, but what else am I supposed to do? Just sit still and let that scheming bitch do what she wants?!"

"Oooo— he said a bad word… are you going to scold him?" out of the blue, came a provoking sound of a juvenile brat who was carrying a silver tray very carefully and meticulously so as to not drop a single dribble of tea as if her life depended on it. "...Um, drinks. I-I mean, your drinks!"

Speirs grabbed a hold of his ice tea. "Thanks, kiddo," he rewarded her with several pats on her head, which she appreciated. "Now go on. Scram. Find some ants or something — the adults are talking."

Kunou pouted and booed, but had learnt enough that nine out of ten times she'd preferred not being around when the 'adults are talking'. Nothing they were talking about was ever interesting for her and difficult to understand. So she wisely returned to rejoin Akeno at her tea-serving station, happily and proudly receiving praises for being helpful.

Issei let the foreigner take a big gulp before gingerly apologizing.

"Erm… sorry."

"She's heard worse," Speirs chuckled, "don't worry. She's a smart kid. But don't take this as an invitation."

"Uh-huh, I won't…"

"Now where were we…" he clicked his tongue. "Ah… yes… the part where I'm about to tell you that they're using your friend as bait… because they know you will try to save her like the hero you are. And you would have done so without the knowledge of these people around you because you know they— well, most importantly her," he nudged towards Rias, "will never let you do it, since that'd be a form of suicide."

This time, Issei was on the receiving end of Rias' glare, albeit not as grumpy compared to one Speirs had gotten earlier.

"...Well," Rias began, "thank you for supplying us with this information… I think you've just prevented my adorable Pawn from committing something that is no doubt harmful to his life."

Issei laughed awkwardly.

"Though… that said, being able to extract Sacred Gear is… not a small feat…" Rias muttered grimly, but smirked afterwards with an opportunistic smile. "Our R&D department would love to learn more about their finding, and I'm certain I can get the authorization to run a 'raid' at their base once I inform certain individuals, so don't fret about her, Hyoudou. It'll only be a matter of time."

"O-oh… Alright. Thanks, Prez…"

"That aside, Mr. Speirs, I think we would appreciate it if you can say a thing or two about your child beforehand…" Rias muttered as she glanced towards Akeno and the small kid, currently being awed by Akeno's tricks with water; making it float and twirl in the air before gliding into a cup. "She looks Japanese, for one."

"Her place's name wasn't Japan, but technically it was. A twisted kind of Japan under a different name. Technically, she is," Speirs scratched his beard. "She's a fox spirit or sumn'. Ain't ya, doll?"

Kunou heard her cue loud and clear, and that meant this group of strangers were considered trustworthy by her guardian. Her face immediately brightened with joy, and with gusto and a cheerful 'yay!', she 'popped' out her pair of ears and her marvelous bushy tail, all while continuing to stir a glass of iced tea, only this time with an infectious jubilee. Her energetic tail made her uplifted mood even more evident for everyone to see and tell.

"A Kitsune!" Rias shot out from her seat, startling Issei more than the reveal. Promptly, Rias quickly made her way towards the little girl faster and more excited than a puppy to a brand new chew toy. Her blue-green eyes gleamed with fascination.

"Wuh—!" Kunou squeaked as she eyed the approaching woman carefully, putting Akeno's legs between them as precaution, shooting an alarmed look at her guardian that screamed 'stranger danger, send help please'.

Though she wouldn't admit it, Rias was a tad bit offended.

To be continued…

Yes, it's Nyarlathotep, and she's here to stay. Her character is on this fiction's cover, or if you wanna see her clearer, just google 'Merryweather Nyarlathotep'. Chances are you've seen her character design once

Of course I can't just turn her into an anime girl qt3.14, because i don't see the fun in any of that. This story isn't titled 'My eldritch abomination can't be this cute!' — yea no. she's evil, she's not here to fall in love or make friends. She's here to twist minds and make Speirs regret summoning her for her services

I wanna know what kind of things you'd like to see more from this story. Is it:

a. Speirs doing Speirs thing; getting angry that his 'vacation' isn't much of a vacation
b. Speirs being more of a bro to Issei, guiding him and perhaps showing him how to walk the dangerous road to a harem
c. more Speirs interaction with teh dxd wamen. The mature casts ones, i mean (spoiler alert, Yasaka will appear bcs Kunou's here already)
d. More Speirs getting PTSD
e. all the above, because you're a greedy bastard and you know i'll be able to write all of those since it took me 2 years to update a story

Your reviews matter. It matters as much to me as our votes will actually have an impact on how our government and country are run

no but seriously. Reviews are like a gentle breeze to dying embers that is my 'passion' about writing silly stuff. a few words can bring them back to life and spark a flame of joy in my wittle heart :3